back to article Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Here we are again on iPhone day, and once more the world waits on the edge of its seat to see what the fruitchomp masterminds of Cupertino have in store. We'll tell you what they've got in store - and none of it's good. Without further ado, here are ten points you should ponder before you even think of buying a new iPhone 5. …

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  1. Jean-Paul

    Can't take it serious

    Can't take these points serious, but mildly funny though...

  2. Andy E
    Unhappy

    Poor Lewis!

    Did you not get an iPhone for your birthday then?

  3. The Brave Sir Robin
    Mushroom

    Utter flame bait.

    But the points are valid.

  4. mbf199t

    Ridiculous Article

    Whilst there are a ridiculous number of Apple "fanboi's" out there, this article is clearly written by someone of the exact opposite mentality. The article is not a balanced, sensible or justified view.

    Granted, like many products iPhones are expensive, and the hysteria is a little ridiculous when release day comes around. But actually, iPhones perform better than most other smartphones, and allow the non-technical masses to complete tasks that they wouldn't be able to achieve on a computer. My mum uploaded a video (of her dog, for the more filthy minded among you) to Youtube from her iPhone, a task she would never achieve on a computer.

    And to address the very silly points about changeable batteries and the closed nature of the platform:

    a)

    i) Unlike most other smartphones, my iPhone battery has last reliably for two years, it's still going strong.

    ii) The reason you need a removable battery on most other smartphones is to reset them when they crash. iPhones don't have a "pin hole" reset button either. THAT. RELIABLE.

    b) The closed nature of the platform ensures reliability and control for a group of users who do not want, or more importantly need, to change any "under the cover" settings, modify software or "tweak" things like you need to with Android/cheap alternatives. They just like products that work. There's a very good reason that companies like TomTom only currently develop for iPhone, be it said in the public domain or not...it's the only platform that is currently reliable enough for them to confidently charge £ for their product, it just works.

    This is a bad article by TheReg standards. Get a grip.

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Poor Lewis-

      DID you get an iPhone for your birthday then?

  5. This post has been deleted by its author

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why?

    Jobs probably turned him down... bitter.

  7. This post has been deleted by a moderator

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Juice.

    No-one really gives a fig about swappable batteries - you can get plenty of external battery packs / cases (should you really need it) and for 99.5% of people I suspect it's a total non-issue. I consider I use my iPhone a lot and have never run out of juice in a day.

  9. gmichael225
    FAIL

    Nonsense

    1 is a compromise to maximise battery efficiency, and besides, a decent battery should outlast the phone.

    2 is a fair point, -if- for some reason 32GB stops being enough storage. But if it does, how much are you going to be looking at for a 64GB microSD?

    3 may be frustrating from a developer perspective, but allows quality control, standardisation for the end user and making a profitable business for Apple

    4 is subjective, and highly debatable.

    5 is just silly - who buys a phone as a fashion statement?

    6 is circular logic.

    7 is a tired argument. With apple, you pay for a design style and quality and hardware/OS/software integration. No other company develops their products from the transistor level up to the development APIs.

    8 was an issue on one model, notably -not- the iPhone 5, and is only of minor concern to most users.

    9 is certainly ironic - the iPhone pioneered the full-size display. and no, the areas above and below the screen are not "useless" - they're for the speaker, sensors, antennas, and home button. but mainly, I personally prefer to have a degree of framing around a screen - but people may differ, and thus the point is subjective

    10 - this is true of any phone.

    Thus, not a single valid objective argument in the entire piece. But more than that, language like "insult", "brutal", "vicious gouging" - this is a highly emotive piece, which is quite simply hypocritical considering the complaints about "Mr Fry's overly emotional adulation" for the device. Honestly, we get enough emotionally-driven manipulative faux-logic in politics without reading it on The Register.

    1. bazza Silver badge
      FAIL

      @gmichael225

      "1 is a compromise to maximise battery efficiency, and besides, a decent battery should outlast the phone."

      Wow, you really have been conned by Apple. Properly designed / built electronics will always outlast a battery. There's a gazillion old Nokias, cars, TVs, radios, computers (even some Apple ones), planes, tanks, ships, etc. etc. out there that prove the point quite adequately.

      Your view is clear evidence of how Apple have succeeded in getting the gullible to believe that an expensive piece of equipment failing is 'reasonable'. It isn't. You're being deliberately led by the nose into buying new and expensive hardware every year.

      Just admit that you *want* a new one every year (nothing wrong with that, it's your money not mine), but don't foolishly attempt to justify it with spurious arguements.

    2. nyelvmark
      Meh

      5 is just silly - who buys a phone as a fashion statement?

      Nobody at all, of course - at least, not here in my basement. I guess not in your basement either.

      Go out on the streets and show your 2008-model phone to a teenager, however, and I suspect you'll hear "What's that? Did you get it for free in a packet of cornflakes?"

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's nothing to do with fashion - the iPhone just works and for the vast majority of people that's what counts. Some people on here may want to root their kettle but for me I'm happy it works.

    Use Android - it's not bad but it's definitely the poor mans / tinkers choice.

  11. kiko
    FAIL

    You get paid for this drivel?

    I'm stunned at the poor quality of this sub-Daily Mail standard piece, hilariously unbalanced and rammed to the gunwales with hyperbole and high dudgeon:

    "its absence is a standing insult"

    "Another vicious slap in the face"

    "this vicious gouging"

    Did steve-o shit in your cornflakes or something?!

    To say nothing of the pathetically petty arguments which essentially boil down to

    "I don't think it's cool, and the fact that a witty man loves his makes me hate it even more and I need to write an extra 200 words to make my quota"

    It's also filled with half truths: "Very, Very Expensive" - compared to what exactly? Its rivals, or a 10p mix from your sweetie shop? How much is the Galaxy S2?

    Antenna issues - can certainly be ameliorated with the use of a case, though I don't even use a case and have fewer issues than my HTC-toting friends.

    No swappable battery: I find Apple's prices for a replacement battery to be favourable when compared to spare batteries for the current crop of rival smartphones. And despite being a very heavy user of my phone, I've never had the thing run out of juice on me.

    Honestly, this piece doesn't even belong on a partisan HTC forum, never mind a tech news site.

    The tragedy is that there are plenty of valid reasons to avoid purchasing a Jesus phone, and plenty more to plump for an Android, or Windows phone. We, as consumers, are spoiled for choice with a vast array of tempting and excellent phones from myriad excellent manufacturers.

    It's a shame that you couldn't focus more of your limited ability on producing a piece of more quality, rather than this disingenuous, poorly crafted, asinine shitstorm of whine.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Premature article-ulation - you shot your load too soon - why not wait until you actually see what they announce before posting this trolltastic article.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The Samsung Galaxy II (iPhone copy) is pretty much the same cost as the iPhone 4 - so the cost article does not hold much water. Sure there are cheap (and nasty) android handsets but compare apples with apples!

  14. hexx
    FAIL

    what the hell is this article for??? iPhone 5 hasn't been announced yet

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Club?

    Let's club together and buy him a new iPhone - might save him from a life of being bitter and unhappy ;)

    I'm watching my AAPL stock price today!

  16. Stretch
    Go

    GOOOO LEWIS

    Give that man a raise.

    Now all the rest of you "journos" stop advertising Apple in every piece you write.

  17. Richard 20
    Happy

    Really?

    Some nice trolling!

    (bet you'll have one before year's end).

    1. Grease Monkey

      You and most of the popular media make the mistake of assuming that everybody wants and indeed has an iPhone. If that's the case why are other phones selling? Why have about 40 million iPhones not sold already in the UK?

      Sorry, but you're going to have to get over it, not everybody wants an iPhone. Not everybody agrees with you. That's life.

  18. jai

    then again

    The article is 10 reasons why you shouldn't buy an iphone5.

    But all the evidence is that an iPhone5 isn't going to be released this month, it'll be an iPhone4S that's announced tonight. So perhaps Lewis is just winding us up and the 11th reason he'll give us tomorrow: that the iPhone5 is just rumour and guesswork at the moment

  19. Mike G

    tool of tools

    If you are any of the following an iphone is an essential purchase

    hairdresser

    chav

    bling bling gansta

    smug tech bore

    hipster attention whore

    spoiled student

    For any of these personas, the new device will sustain you through another year of not having any character or a life

  20. A. Lewis
    FAIL

    I miss the El Reg tombstone icon.

    Because these kind of sourly-written rants, masquerading as articles, do make me want to never visit again etc...

    Not that I'll follow through with that. You know you've got me addicted.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No one really wants a memory card slot

    Seriously, normal users don't want to have to decide what apps go on the memory card or internal storage. Oh and then there's the "special" apps that don't let you choose anyway. This is a win for the iPhone for most users, except maybe us geeks. Those who do want it will get a Windows Mobile or Android device.

    1. Grease Monkey

      Actually the lack of a memory card slot has been a major issue for more than one non-technical iPhone owner I know. The simple reason being that they ran out of memory. Well duh!

      One young lady took her iPhone on holiday and was snapping away with the camera when it ran out of memory. With another phone she could have bought a memory card and kept snapping. With her iPhone she was faced with the choice of taking no more photographs on her holiday or deleting a lot of the images she already had stored. She replaced the iPhone when she got home with something with a memory card slot.

  22. BristolBachelor Gold badge

    iTunes

    I think that iTunes is one of the only *really* bad points about iPhone iPod Touch. You have to have it installed, and you can only use it to sync with the phone / iPod.

    If you have a PC then there is no other reason to install it. Oh, and the new version craps out if you dare uninstall quicktime (and the new version of quicktime stops me watching movs, even using VLC and even after uninstalling quicktime!)

    Oh and yeah, it costs a lot, but based on that, no-one should buy Audis or Mercedes?

    1. nyelvmark
      FAIL

      no-one should buy Audis or Mercedes?

      Yep. Think about it. Do you want your car to function as a car, transporting people and things between places, or do you want to park it in your drive and polish it every Sunday, inspiring the envy of your neighbours?

      Can you conceive of a circumstance where a cost/benefit analysis makes a Mercedes a better buy than some more appropriate means of transport, such as a bicycle, a Tato Nano, a Caterham 7, a Ford Transit, or even a train ticket?

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Battery

    The previous gen iPhones were a bitch to get the battery out. You had to go in from the front to get to the battery at the back, removing the digitizer and LCD, then unclip the connectors for the mute button, volume rocker, earpiece etc.... then remove the mainboard and finally get to the battery.

    The iPhone 4 is a lot easier. Two small screws at the bottom, slide the back panel up and there it is.

    Sure, it's technically not a user replaceable battery, but you could take a battery pack or a charger with you instead of an extra battery.

  24. Joe Gurman

    Had your fun?

    Aside from item 6, which is sadly unarguable, I suspect actual punters will decide whether or not to buy the new iPhone(s) on the basis of whether it has features they want, whether it continues to work well with the walled garden they like and have chosen to pay for, and whether they are deeply moved by something in the design and tactile feel of the objects ––– just as they have since the first one came out. The tech really doesn't matter that much to people who don't read this site. I don't suppose the author is really serious about most of his points, but if he is, Steve Jobs must have broken one of his toys as a child.

    1. Grease Monkey

      Actually a lot of non technical iPhone owners are concerned by some of these items. For example I know several iPhone owners who didn't realise that they couldn't swap their phone's battery easilly. They just assumed when they bought it that it would have an interchangeable battery like (almost) every other phone. Likewise many people assume it will have a slot for a memory card like (almost) every other smartphone. And so on. You just don't think to ask those questions when buying a phone.

      When choosing a new 42" TV would you ask whether it had a remote control or an HDMI input? Of course not, you'd just assume it did. Likewise when buying a smartphone you take certain things for granted and then get a nasty shock when you get a flat battery or run out of memory.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "I think that iTunes is one of the only *really* bad points about iPhone iPod Touch. You have to have it installed, and you can only use it to sync with the phone / iPod."

    Except you probably don't - see what iOS 5 / iCloud does. All will be revealed 6pm UK time.

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I agree on the usablity issue...

    I don't own an iPhone but some of my relatives do. And so here I was simply trying to send them my namecard using bluetooth, as I've done with many of my other friends without any problem.

    Well, needless to say but it failed. The iPhone couldn't handle it and a quick Google search later on learned me that the iPhone "supported bluetooth but...".

    I still fail to understand how something so simple could go so horribly wrong ? Esp. since its promoted as being a business phone, what better way to swap out information than bluetooth ?

    Experiences like these really don't make me fancy an iPhone anytime soon.

  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Honesty.

    iPhone vs Android is like a BMW vsFord - sure they both get you there but most people would prefer the BMW if they were being honest.

    1. Mr Young
      Joke

      Nope - I'd prefer a Ford thanks

      The indicators NEVER work on BMWs

    2. Grease Monkey

      "iPhone vs Android is like a BMW vsFord - sure they both get you there but most people would prefer the BMW if they were being honest."

      Like Apple vs. almost anybody the assumption that BMWs are somehow better than Fords is nonsense. Take something like a Mondeo and a 318 and compare and you won't find a single thing that makes the BMW better. Always assuming, that is, that you have the integrity to be honest and not be seduced by the badge.

  28. b-a-r-k-i-n-g-m-a-d

    Samsung.

    Perhaps Apple should just buy Samsung and use them to manufacture iPhones.

  29. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    2 deal makers though

    1. Ubiquity of really good docking stations, many HiFi models, for iPhone

    2. Plays BBC iPlayer and Youtube very smoothly - only high end Android devices can do this it seems.

    Hence I've had a iPod Touch for years.

    Missus has an iPhone for the same reason that women have designer handbags - but it turns out to be quite a reasonable smartphone too.

  30. Digg Raver
    Trollface

    Pity the fool!

    Easily the most pitiful spleen venting I've ever read on El Reg. Hatred like this is much better suited to the Daily Mail, not a (usually) quality source of info like El Reg.

    Quality control went out the window with this one - and I'm an Android user.

  31. zen1
    Pint

    Do you hear that popping noise?

    it's the sound of fanboi's & girls heads exploding all over the globe, as a result of this article. Just be careful.. if you write anything too negative, they just might attempt to storm the gates of el Reg HQ and pelt you with rotten fruit (put absolutely intended).

    However, should the author need ammo of his own, I would be more than willing to offer my gen 1 iPhone so he can fend at least one would be fan-attacker off.

  32. lee harvey osmond

    Swappable battery? Seriously?

    My pal Baz once took a really good picture of me, which I saw for 15/100th of a second; that is, before he dropped the Android device with which he'd taken the picture, and the device hit the ground and the back came off and the swappable battery fell out and that was the end of anything not in permanent storage. I don't how much drinking time Baz wasted reassembling his phone and seeing what content he'd lost because I'd wandered off back to the bar by then.

    1. Dropper

      erm

      Did he consider investing in a $10 cover? When I drunkenly throw my android around, I find these things invaluable.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Reasons to buy an iPhone:

    1. The firmware is now so good it just works.

    2. App udpates are handled automatically although it is irritating seeing all the updates pile up.

    3. Apple updates the OS regularly and for free with no faffing around with version numbers, hardware differences, etc.

    4. The apps available are second to none and more and better apps arrive on the iPhone first.

    5. I'm not a pauper so price isn't an issue.

    6. Every HTC phone I've ever owned has been a worse phone that the iPhone.

    7. I have an Android phone too(a Nexus S) and, whereas I like it, it's nowhere near as slick as the iPhone and the OS upgrades are still not as frequent as I'd like and there's no sign of Gingerbread yet either.

    8. iOS 5 will bring wi-fi syncing and the iCloud will allow songs and apps to be downloaded at will making the onboard memory much less of an issue(I'll probably buy the 64GB one anyway - I'm a top-of-the-range guy).

    9. All the girls like guys with iPhones.

    10. I have a MacBook Air and an iMac(in addition to numerous PCs running various flavours of Windows and Linux) and they integrate nicely and will do so even better once iOS 5 is available.

    11. On the business contract I have, I get to upgrade annually and so, although I am paying for the phone in full via the contract, all the lovely minutes, texts and data cost me the price of the iPhone plus around £1-200 quid - bargain really and I get to swank around with the latest iPhone much to the annoyance of my cheapskate mates;).

    1. nyelvmark
      Trollface

      Marie Antoinette said:

      I'm not a pauper so price isn't an issue.

    2. Grease Monkey

      I'll stop laughing in a minute and type, bear with me.....

      "6. Every HTC phone I've ever owned has been a worse phone that the iPhone."

      You really didn't see what was wrong with that when you typed it? You consider yourself a discerning customer and yet you have owned several HTC phones? In how many years? And that doesn't even begin to mention any other brands you may have owned. Are you beginning to understand yet?

  34. Joe Montana
    WTF?

    Niche...

    1, yeah i agree here, however this is a niche requirement at best, most people are more than happy to drop their phone into a charger next to their bed every night, and there are always external battery packs... Also it charges from USB, how often are most geeks away from a device with a usb socket?

    2, lack of memory card slot is a nuisance, but again its more of a niche requirement... most people i know who have phones with memory card slots only have a card in there because it came with the phone, and the phone has little/no in built storage.

    3, the walled garden business model is actually a benefit for most people, it doesn't suit me but then again i have no problem with it so long is open enough that non walled garden options are available, and there are plenty of unlocked android phones available.

    4, a lot of smartphones make mediocre phones, i wouldnt say the iphone is worse than any others i've seen lately tho

    5, personally i couldnt care less about fashion...

    6, i dont care what stephen fry likes or dislikes either

    7, doesnt appear to be more expensive than comparable handsets from other manufacturers, although admittedly it has been superseded since being released.. and since the article is about the iphone 5, whos to say it wont be competitive with others handsets on the market today?

    8, just because the iphone 4 had a badly designed antenna, doesnt mean the iphone 5 will

    9, the iphone 4 had a decent screen when it was released, perhaps not so much now... but it is over a year old, what will the 5 offer?

    10, about the only point i agree with...

  35. Bradley Hardleigh-Hadderchance
    Coat

    Alternatives?

    You should try the EpiPhone version.

    Rumored to be 'Epic' and a 'Phone', both at the same time.

    It's basically the same bit of kit, but half the price!

  36. John Sanders
    Linux

    Let´s concede that the Iphone4 was very good

    But how much can you spin the same idea and get people to buy phones again and again?

    Well that non-replaceable battery can give you a clue...

  37. Eponymous Bastard
    Happy

    Tears

    It will all end in tears; my tears as I piss myself laughing at all you suckers who bought into the Apple "dream".

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