back to article Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Mike Pence, the Vice President of the United States, on Thursday formally announced that his administration hopes to bankroll, no, not universal healthcare for all Americans. Not better support for armed forces veterans. Not improved public education. No, here in the Land of the Free, we're getting a space force by 2020. It …

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Alien

I don't see why you guys are so dubious about this....

Hey, someone needs to build the Millenium Falcon before it can eventually be won by Han Solo in that card game!

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Anonymous Coward

A̶m̶e̶r̶i̶c̶a̶ Space Force - Fuck yeah!

How is it that when other things require funding, there is always millions upon millions for defence and military?

Any space stuff should be under a United Federation of Countries - leading up to eventually Planets.

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Beware the Lawyers

Games Workshop Lawyers are on standby with the Cease and desist letters as they own the copywrite to the phrase "Space Marine"

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"“The space force is the next and natural evolution of American military strength," the Veep said. "The first American rockets in space were launched by our military. The first American satellites to orbit the Earth were on reconnaissance missions behind the Iron Curtain...."

Not correct:-

The Jupiter C, was America's first successful space vehicle, launched the free world's first scientific satellite, Explorer 1, into orbit on January 31, 1958. The Explorer I satellite is attached to a single solid-propellant rocket motor, which served as the launch vehicle's fourth stage.

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Wrong

The first successful launch of a rocket into space was the first successful test launch of the A-4 rocket by a lovely chap by the name of Wernher Von Braun - specifically Sturmbannfuhrer von Braun under the auspices of Hitlers government. Ill educated Americans will probably better recognise it as the V-2. It was quite an advanced device when it worked - and there was a two stage version being prototyped at the end of the war.

It didn't go into orbit, despite just about being capable, but it *did* get into space and then continued on a ballistic course to make a relatively big hole somewhere unrecorded.

It really pisses me off when Americans claim first in everything - when they're usually a decade behind. A good example is the Wrights - they DID NOT make the first powered flight - they even admitted it in COURT. But we can't have a German American doing it can we? White (anglicised from "Weiss") built his own plane and engine from scratch - almost singlehandedly pioneering aero engine design and using oxy acetylene mixture for fuel flew first. On top of that he pioneered V engines in aircraft, coupled ignition (two plugs per cylinder, later fired by separate circuits), built up a company building universally respected aero engines in both petrol & acetylene types (including an early form of direct injection if I remember) - and no one has heard of him. It's two twerps in a wing warped deathtrap that even modern ace pilots *and* computer autopilots can't make fly at all, let alone remotely safely.

Please do the world a favour and do your research first - either that or keep your mouth shut - lest your boot inexplicably ends up massaging your kidneys; from the inside. I *hate* ill educated idiots.

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Re: Wrong

Jemma, you need to read a bit closer before you start going off on other people and calling them idiots. Both Trump's comments and Patrician's, which set you off on that little rant, specifically state they are talking about AMERICA'S first rocket. Wernher Von Braun may have launched the world's first successful rocket, but it was not by any stretch of the imagination America's first rocket, even if it did come before the Jupiter C. Context matters.

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"The Jupiter C, was America's first successful space vehicle, launched the free world's first scientific satellite, Explorer 1, into orbit on January 31, 1958."

Well then, it definitely IS correct, as the Jupiter C was designed by the US Army Ballistic Missile Agency.

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Flesh Gordon!

I was thinking "Flesh Gordon" NSFW: https://futurism.media/flesh-gordon

I can see it working out for everyone if the "Dildo-in-chief" is stranded on planet Porno - win win.

Wait - perhaps the Russians already filmed something like that....

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Re: Flesh Gordon!

When it comes to hearing about that film the Russians made, silence is golden.

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Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

Like for example they have to be able to pass some basic tests, e.g. identifying the difference between a documentary and a Hollywood sci-fi movie.

I'd almost argue that the voters also need to be able to pass those basic tests.

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Go

Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

What, after we already had a President who literally played straight man to a chimpanzee in the movies? (He was even a really successful President, though you may disagree with his particular politics.)

I'm afraid that the recognition-of-reality ship sailed long ago, with the space aliens, faeries, anthropomorphized talking animals, wild west gunslingers and magical British nannies forming the crew and serving as entertainment and the wait staff for the passengers.

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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

I'm not suggesting the questions need to be particularly difficult to answer correctly, but it would help weed out those who are clearly 'communicating with the aliens'.

However it would be interesting, and give something for the examiners to chuckle over, to thow in some purely abstract questions such as:

26. In which year did man walk on the Sun? "____"

and

31. How long is a piece of string? "_____________________________________"

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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

He was even a really successful President

He was particularly successful at not being able to recall anything on the witness stand.

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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

Let's be fair: space aliens are almost certainly real.

Millions or billions of light years away, undiscovered as of yet by humans, and absolutely never stepping foot on planet Earth, but probably real none the less.

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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

"He was particularly successful at not being able to recall anything on the witness stand."

I thought that was a requirement for his job. As an actor, he was just a bit more believable than most. Bill Clinton should have paid attention. His not remembering having sex with interns was perhaps the silliest act on the witness stand.

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Re: Americans need to alter the criteria for being allowed to be president.

An IQ test would be the 1st

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Facepalm

IQ test.

That was probably the least believable part of the documentary 'Idiocracy': That when they discovered someone with the 'highest IQ in the country', the government actually recruited them to try and solve their problems (rather than chasing them up a tree and setting fire to it, as is current practice in such situations!)

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Quartermaster Cyclinder

Sounds like an opportunity to me. #friendsalltriedtowarnme

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Space Force Fuck yeah

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Somehow I don't think Trump cares if he tramples over the Outer Space Treaty. He certainly hasn't shown much interest in honoring other treaties and commitments made by the US before he was elected. He's done everything from actively try to dismantle NAFTA to pull out of the Paris agreement. Space based weapons platforms in violation of a 1960s era treaty would be par for the course for him.

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"Space based weapons platforms in violation of a 1960s era treaty would be par for the course for him."

...and probably decided on the golf course too, between rounds. Isn't Trump the guy who claimed Obama spent too much time on golf courses then went on to spend more time on the golf course in his first three months than Obama ever did?

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SPACE BOOBS IN SPACE???

How about the 2017 classic ;)

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Covfefe in Spaaace!

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A rat done bit my sister Nell

... with Whitey on the moon...

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Shhh! Keep it on the down-low

<whispers>They're finally building the B-Ark</whispers>

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Re: Shhh! Keep it on the down-low

<whispers>They're finally building the B-Ark</whispers>

<mutters>I'm a little worried it's a Stark*</mutters>

* No, it's not a GoT reference, this was a televised book too though.

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Re: Shhh! Keep it on the down-low

No! We need to shout it from the housetops! They've got to be stopped!

Otherwise, we'll find out the hard way that telephone sanitizers really do serve a useful purpose.

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News

"The first American satellites to orbit the Earth were on reconnaissance missions behind the Iron Curtain."

There were American spy satellites in orbit before Vanguard? Or is he thinking of the U-2 by any chance?

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Re: News

In fairness to Mike Pence, the first Corona reconaissance satellites were launched only about a year after Explorer I, the first successful American satellite. So spy satellites definitely were among the first American satellites to do somtehing more than perform initial scientific measurements of outer space. Telstar wasn't until 1962.

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Mushroom

More welfare spending for military conplex

US military already gets $740b welfare now ..they were chased out of Iraq and Afghanistan by goat herders and cave dwellers using 1980 used Russian equipment.

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"Our stick is bigger"-style propaganda, again

In the Land of the Destroyers, anything is more important than education. They didn't miss this occasion to add another international agreement to their list of violations, the "non-militarization of space".

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