back to article Plastic fiver: 28 years' work, saves acres of cotton... may have killed less than ONE cow*

Professor David Solomon, the inventor of the polymer banknote, has told vegetarians that they're being "stupid" over their opposition to its trace amounts of animal fat. The UK's new plastic notes were introduced earlier this year to replace the UK's battered and disintegrating stocks of paper** £5 notes. However, when the …

Re: Silly people

Veganism is about all animals, not just the cute ones.

Cockroaches? Mosquitoes? Krill? Protozoa? Obviously you wouldn't want to eat them, but what would be your response to banknotes lubricated with protozoa?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Silly people

What are you talking about? Krill are adorable!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Silly people

what would be your response to banknotes lubricated with protozoa?

Never mind the first image that called up (which has little to do with protozoa), but the second one - which came from a few minutes examining just what lives on money (notes and coins). It's enough to make you wear gloves or convert you to contactless credit card (terminal buttons are shockingly filthy too). Ugh.

Thankfully a lot of alcohol either sterilises it, or makes you care less :).

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Re: Silly people

Ref: Kittens and Cats... You just have to know where to look.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zn2Sa5UGxK8

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Joke

Re: Silly people

Caution....may contain nuts. :)

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Has anyone investigate the level of animal products in the paper fivers the vegans have been happily using all these years?

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TRT
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As a committed anti-royalist...

I object to certain iconic representations on the bank notes that I have to handle every day ...

In fact, as a Muslim, whose religion bans the depiction of animals and people because worship of such is idolatrous...

And, AND...

As an Apple worshipper, I demand that my banknotes have rounded corners...

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Anonymous Coward

No, but all those Vegans etc. are holding a Candlelit vigil with tallow candles, whilst washing with tallow based soap, to remove the stain of the new notes off their hands, and making themselves feel better as irony isn't a concept they understand. :)

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Don't at least be stupid

You might not agree with the Vegan stance (I myself do not), but they are very aware of what goes into things and they would not use tallow candles. They would check first.

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Most candles today are made from paraffin, which is petroleum-based. Modern soaps use plant-based oils in their manufacture. Thus the name Palmolive, for example (palm and olive oils).

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FAIL

"...as irony isn't a concept they understand. :)"

And Veganism is a concept you don't understand?

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Anonymous Coward

Didn't they size the paper ones using gelatine? Basically run the paper though a bath of hydrolised hides and hooves to bind and seal the fibres.

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Please don't use palm oil. It's leading to deforestation and driving the tiger to extinction. Unless, of course, you want to start feeding Vegans (and Politicians) to tigers. Human encroachment on habitats will soon mean the only living large carnivores will be in zoos.

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Anonymous Coward

Unless, of course, you want to start feeding Vegans (and Politicians) to tigers.

Add lawyers and I'm in. When can we start?

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Most candles today are made from paraffin, which is petroleum-based.

So this implies that vegans are not environmentalists then?

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Happy

It's already started in USA:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fatal_cougar_attacks_in_North_America

Well, I can't be positive they were all vegans, and a cougar is the closest we can come to a tiger over here...

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Anonymous Coward

a cougar is the closest we can come to a tiger over here...

And there I was thinking we were getting somewhere weaning people off sexism..

No! <slap> It was joke! <wallop>. Aaargh.

:)

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MJI
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parts per million

So why are they moaning?

Do they eat the money?

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presumably the outraged are aware that...

"The polymer in virtually all of the world’s plastic bills is made by a single Australian company, Innovia Security.

Innovia are the makers of Guardian, a substrate used to manufacture the polymer currency of 24 countries, including Canada, the United Kingdom, Mexico and New Zealand.

Tallow does not appear to be a stand-alone or critical ingredient in Guardian, but the by-product got into the substrate because it is used in processing by Innovia’s resin suppliers.

“Polymer substrate used as a base for bank notes contains additives that help with the polymer manufacturing process, similar to many commercially available plastics,” wrote the Bank of Canada in a Wednesday statement after contacting Innovia.

“Our supplier of polymer substrate, Innovia Security, has confirmed to us that these additives may include extremely small amounts of tallow,” the statement added. "

...and...

"Indeed, small amounts of processed cow parts can be found in everything from [...] to brake fluid. In fact, almost all of the images ever featured on historic Canadian currency would have first been prepared by an artist using tallow as part of the engraving process."

...and until their demands are met will cease ride in any vehicle not certified animal free

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TRT
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Re: presumably the outraged are aware that...

There's traces of Olly Murs in our banknotes???!!!!

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Re: presumably the outraged are aware that...

"... will cease ride in any vehicle not certified animal free"

Does that include a horse drawn carriage? What about a horse with a wood and cotton saddle? It gets complicated doesn't it? :)

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Happy

Re: presumably the outraged are aware that...

"...any vehicle not certified animal free" (sic)

He's having a go at Audis now!

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Flame

Vegetarians/Vegans.

Many are behaving in ways similar to cult members.

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/001/067/240/4e2.jpg

Idiots.

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Boffin

The cocaine just slides off these new notes.

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But maybe the problem is that they don't roll as well as the paper ones.

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If the tallow is to reduce static, I'd guess they use it in bank cards for the same reason.

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Joke

Less than 100 parts per million you say? Have we accidentally discovered the homeopathic cure to veganism?

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Was the animal slaughtered in alignment with Halal principles? Just curious [and not being sarcastic] - there is a wide and disparate community to think of here. They really should have thought this one through before hand.....

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halal fivers?

Apparently, it's fine so long as you're not eating the money. Same thing as leather sofas, which aren't forbidden.

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Nonny Mouse

Good point. The sikhs and Hindus are up in arms about it too.

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Megaphone

In a show of solidarity for our vegan bruvvers an' sistas...

I have started a program of returning new five pound notes to the bank.

Please forward all your unwanted new fivers to Just A Bloke care of The Register and I will personally make sure that they are returned to the bank!.

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Anonymous Coward

These petitions have obviously become too easy to fill-in because all the idiots are doing it

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Anonymous Coward

Lessons from history ...

It's 1857 all over again.

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More importantly....

Could they make them behave more like the old notes? They are a right sod to count in bundles. Slide all over the place and stay bent rather than flattening out. Please add whatever animal products are necessary to improve things (except kittens, obviously)

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Re: More importantly....

If the new UK notes are anything like the Canadian currency I experienced on a recent holiday to Alaska, then I agree with your assertions. PITA, albeit a minor one. The biggest headache for me was the creasing. I normally carry currency bound by a money clip in my front pocket. This necessitates folding said currency in half. Do that with plastic currency like Canadian (and presumably similar British) and you end up with creased bills that, as you pointed out, stay bent and no longer lay flat.

It's not a huge problem, in the grand scheme of things, but it's mildly annoying and a minor learning curve/inconvenience.

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Tree Huggers and Veggies

I'm a tree hugger (well - I know about trees and stuffs and love the outdoors) and really couldn't be much further from being a veggie.... Just saying...

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Trollface

Re: Tree Huggers and Veggies

no one wants to hug a veggie ;)

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Windows

'Fessd up. Fair enough.

When I was working for Nokia - years ago, we made a basestation with integral antennas. One of the stipulation to the antenna manufacturer was that it didn't contain _any_ of a certain chemical. At that time, I was responsible for procurement of the antenna.

Supplier called me - sheepishly - and said that they actually _do_ use this chemical in a glue, but it was about 1 microgramme per antenna (it hat two). Is it a problem?

The reason this particular material was banned was that it was highly toxic when burned.

Did a bit of research (Google being in its infancy then) and I allowed my common sense to prevail. If about 100,000 of these antennas were to catch fire, simultaneously, and a fireman wasn't wearing his/her breathing apparatus, then, yes - (s)he _might_ get cancer in 20 years.

I decided "Go ahead and make it, folks"

'Elf and Safty somehow have no reason, sometimes. Bit like some "Religious Vegans" I see in the pub, supping beer clarified by isinglass...

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Trollface

Just a Troll living under a bridge with a comment to make

Just a couple of points to make from different conversations:

RE KITTENS

Personally I like to eat a nice pussy every now and then!

RE VEGANS AND TRACE AMOUNTS OF TALLOW

I would expect a lot of vegans are also followers of homeopathy (the two do seem to happen quite often hand in hand) so probably the smaller the amount the trace element (in this case tallow) the stronger the effect of that trace element. So have we just invented the homeopathic fiver?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Just a Troll living under a bridge with a comment to make

If homeopathy worked the way it was alleged to work, it would create more homeopaths every time one of them plunged into a swimming pool. Or is that why they add chlorine?

:)

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Pint

Easy solution...

Switch from cow lard to bacon fat.

Everybody likes bacon.

Ah. Don't they...?

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Re: Easy solution...

It's true.... everything is improved by the addition of bacon. fact!

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Anonymous Coward

Fivers are useful

Vegans are not.

There, problem solved!

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Facepalm

Dumb problems

This is even dumber than the "transgender toilet" bullshit in the US.

This planet is full of animal protein. Deal with it!

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Trollface

Principles are all very well, that's up to you. Every time someone mentions Vegans and animals we get the same line about them buying plastic shoes instead of leather because of the animals.

Plastic shoes... Bought with plastic fivers... Plastic...

Just sayin'

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Why have a note anyway?

1970: a pint of bitter costs between 10p and 20p. The largest circulated coin is 50p.

2016: a pint costs more than 3 quid.

Conclusion: obvious.

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Re: Why have a note anyway?

The pint(s) I was drinking last night did not cost more than 3 quid (precisely 3 quid each as it happens).

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Coat

Which reminds me

I really must sign that Investigatory Powers Act petition.

I'll get my coat and leave the outraged veggie masses to it.

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Re: Which reminds me

Which reminds me of India 1857, U.K has progressed.

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Have the Vegans been to the supermarket? Had a look in the shelves?

I fry in lard becuase it is much healthier than even butter. Not to mention the dangreous artificial vegetable oils. Grow up. Humans are omnivores, and even if YOU can live on veggies, many of us can't possibly live on carbs alone. It would make us fatter than a Prescot.

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