back to article Five technologies you shouldn't bother looking out for in 2016

Welcome to the future! The skies are full of flying cars, the waters are full of personal submarines and our digital wallets are full of 57 varieties of mutually incompatible blockchain-based monetary currency. Food is consumed in the form of nutrition pills. The outdoor temperature is determined by Weather Control in Berlin. …

TRT
Silver badge

Re: FaceWatch...

I quite like the idea of combining implanted electrode stimulation of behaviour with Twitter and AngryBirds. For that kind of augmented reality social networking experience that really delivers.

4
0
Silver badge

Re: FaceWatch...

"No, but ForeheadWatch - You would be able to keep an eye on the time when talking to the office bore without them knowing..."

- Not if your were the one wearing it (unless the office bore wears reflective glasses).

**'If our forefathers had foreplay,

did they user their foreheads or the forehands?'

**Just popped into my 'forehead' anybody any idea where the reference is from?

0
0

Re: FaceWatch...

@Teiwaz

"Fore" is the warning shouted on golf courses to signal potentially incoming balls.

3
0
Silver badge

Augmented reality

I'm sure one of the Here apps on my Lumia phone (winphone 8.1 not 10) does (claims to) AR.

If I remember, when you held it up in front of you and swung around, then handy(?) labels appeared over the images telling you things such as there was a Mcdonalds in the building in front of you with the red frontage and the yellow arch shapes on the windows

10
0
Silver badge

Re: Augmented reality

If you have coverage, can afford the data plan and can read rather that recognise obvious landmarks.

AR is pants.

2
2
Silver badge

Re: Augmented reality

The Google Night Sky app is a nice use of AR, helping people take an interest in the sky at night. It will highlight constellations and planets etc.

8
0

1. IoT will go mainstream

I don't know ANYONE who really gives a toss about smarting their house up. I know I don't.

2. Wearable tech will find a purpose

Wearable tech alread has purposes, and has for many years, for instance I've had a Garmin GPS running watch for a good 10 years. GPS/mapping, downloadable to a PC.

3. Mobile phone companies will roll out 5G

Finish 4G first perhaps???

4. Virtual reality hits critical mass

Maybe in the cinema/commercial entertainment environment. NOT in the average home though.

5. IT jobs get sexy.

No, never, ever, ever. Noone will EVER get laid with the line "Hey baby, I'm a data miner."

7
3

Did you read the article, Yugguy?

20
0
Silver badge

5. IT jobs get sexy.

No, never, ever, ever. Noone will EVER get laid with the line "Hey baby, I'm a data miner."

The only time I've ever been able to tell girls in a club or at a party what I really did for a living was the dot com boom. For the briefest of moments, being a developer was 'sexy' and it did get me laid regularly.

I quickly went back to telling people I was a typesetter, and my granny (rip) went back to telling the people in her old folks home I was a male stripper, because she thought it was more respectable than working for a bank.

19
0
Silver badge

I call myself a 'Digital Lifestyle Rejuvenator'.

Yeah I fix laptops and get your wedding/baby/selfie photos back.

7
0
Silver badge

"Wearable tech alread has purposes, and has for many years, for instance I've had a Garmin GPS running watch for a good 10 years. GPS/mapping, downloadable to a PC."

What was your point?

3
1
Silver badge

@Yugguy

1. IoT will go mainstream

I don't know ANYONE who really gives a toss about smarting their house up. I know I don't.

It really depends on what you mean by smarting their house up, for example:

I'm quite happy having fitted a light above my front door with a sensor that automatically turns the light on when it's dark and motion is sensed - both the darkness threshold and sensitivity can be adjusted slightly which was a nice touch. In many ways this is "smarting my house up", what it lacks is any form of network connection (I don't give a rat's arse about an Internet connection, just connectivity of some form).

What I'd quite like is an automatic curtain opening and closing system. Smart enough so bedroom curtains are either only opened manually or at a specific (later) time in the day if they're not open already, but otherwise to open curtains based on sunrise and a configured fallback time of day. This level of smart is pretty much hopeless for locally managed devices (e.g. physical access with buttons and dials - you can image just how disgustingly awkward these would be to configure) , however being able to manage all of the devices using an intuituive interface would be useful. Again, I don't give a rat's arse about this being "Internet" enabled, local network controlled is just fine thanks...

2
1
Silver badge

Telling girls I'm an IT Consultant doesn't seem to stop me getting laid. Not entirely sure its the thing thing that clinches the deal though.

3
1

Did I read the article????

Yes, and I am pretty much agreeing with it. Other people I expect will read it and perhaps disagree with one or more points.

They may then post their thoughts on the technologies, as I did.

I believe this is called commenting.

6
1

Re: @Yugguy

Agreed - by "smart" I mean connected. I too am a fan of closed systems. You can't hack them.

2
1
Silver badge

Re: cracks

A house where the heating can be switched on remotely is a fine idea. I can get the house warmed up 30 minutes before I arrive home, or I can arrive home and put the heating on and wait 30 minutes for it to warm up. If you don't have a regular schedule then this will work because it's an improvement on the timed thermostat that pre-heats a house for somebody who does have a regular schedule.

Houses where the lights and other appliances go on and off in a programmed and varying sequence when nobody is home also exist, this is an anti-burglary measure.

The smartwatch anecdote was pretty poor too.

Didn't read any further.

1
5
Silver badge
FAIL

Re: @Yugguy

I too am a fan of closed systems. You can't hack them.

Either you meant to write that you can hack them, which is amply demonstrated every single day, or you wrote 'airgapped' in an excruciatingly weird way.

3
1
Headmaster

Re: cracks

"...I can get the house warmed up 30 minutes before I arrive home, or I can arrive home and put the heating on and wait 30 minutes for it to warm up..."

Or, you can just wear a jersey in the winter and save yourself several hundreds of <insert currency of choice> in heating costs.

6
0

Re: cracks

"Houses where the lights and other appliances go on and off in a programmed and varying sequence when nobody is home also exist, this is an anti-burglary measure."

Yes, they're called timers and you can pick them up at the local hardware store. Don't have to plug them into the internet, don't need to install a phone app. Don't have to worry about some kid in Taiwan hacking into them and quadrupling your electricity use while you're out of town.

10
0
Silver badge

Re: cracks

I don't recall suggesting that they are plugged into the internet.

They use a smart box to randomise the sequence though, and make it look real as if someone is moving through the house.

Not really that difficult.

0
3
Silver badge

Re: cracks

Or, you can just wear a jersey in the winter and save yourself several hundreds of <insert currency of choice> in heating costs.

I knew someone would try that one.

Well, I don't have a nest thermo or anything like that. I have timed thermostats like everyone else.

They are set to come on 30 minutes before I get home, but if I don't come home on time and go out or am delayed then they waste x amount of <insert currency of your choice> in heating costs.

0
3

Re: What I'd quite like is an automatic curtain opening and closing system.

Me too, wanted this for decades.

0
0
Silver badge

heh

I like "marriage guidance counselor" for when someone (usually the chap) has lost the weddingchildbirth pictures/video, or the address book for the christmas card list.

My guidance is usually that if you had an argument about digitising it, then make damn sure you have regular backups.

2
0
Silver badge

Re: cracks

They use a smart box to randomise the sequence though, and make it look real as if someone is moving through the house.

This can be achieved simply by keeping a cat and installing a couple of PIR sensors with small lights attached. More random than any security device can aspire to be.

4
0
Silver badge

Re: cracks

"This can be achieved simply by keeping a cat ......"

Although you are likely to get long periods of total inactivity interspersed with short burst of frenetic activity ( esp. if you have mice)

3
0
Silver badge

Re: cracks

That's why I wrote " More random than any security device can aspire to be."

Though it might be somewhat impractical if you want to use this for an RNG that needs to be in some kind of portable device.

3
0
Silver badge

LAN connectivity useful, internet not so much

I don't give a rat's arse about this being "Internet" enabled, local network controlled is just fine thanks...

Exactly. I can see the point of getting at, say, my central heating via a LAN, but really don't need it connected to t'internet.

Having had a kitchen which was a long trek from the living room, a remote controlled hob and oven together with monitoring cameras would be infinitely more useful than an internet connected fridge, and nothing more than a LAN connection would be required.

1
0
Silver badge

Re: LAN connectivity useful, internet not so much

Having had a kitchen which was a long trek from the living room,

Checking whether the breadmaker was done, in the kitchen 40m away*, was performed using a truly ancient HP digicam driven by a bit of shellscripting wrapped around a very minimalistic set of camera drivers**. This setup managed one photo per 45 seconds: one for taking the picture, 43 for transferring it to the host (serial at 9600 baud) and one again for deleting the image on the camera. Putting the most recent 200 pics on a local webpage allowed us to view the progress from the living room

* this was in a former office building.

** definitely not written by HP, otherwise they'd be a quarter of a gigabyte for half the functionality.

2
0
Silver badge

IT is sexy. Just ask IT Recruitment Consultants, who will spout off a huge list of meaningless and made up statistics to prove it.

Just as I typed that I remembered they are now all called "Talent Acquisition Specialists" which may well be my new favourite definition of turd polishing.

10
0

Nah, they're still IT Pimps to me! Who usually have no idea of what they're talking about...

9
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Recruitment consultants

About half of the ones I have dealt with were rather attractive; one (who apparently was a part-time fashion model) was downright sexy.

The jobs itself invariably weren't.

5
0
Silver badge

Usually? Have you met an exception that does know what they are talking about, cos I certainly haven't!

Met more than a few very attractive ones as well, IME the amount of eyelash fluttering I receive is inversely proportional to job appeal though.

2
0

4G

I get 4G for £10 a month (sim only), on a rolling 1 month contract. All you need is a compatible phone. It would be less if I accepted a lower bandwidth allowance.

As for coverage it probably helps living in a civilised part of the country.

10
2
Silver badge

Re: 4G

As for coverage it probably helps living in a civilised part of the country.

Civilised parts of the country have more interesting things for you to to do than play with 4G phones.

12
0
Silver badge

Re: 4G

Yeah a Moto G 3rd Gen and a GifGaff PAYG SIM and I pick up 4G fine. When in the rural wilds of Lincolnshire. Farmers, eh?

3
0
Silver badge

Re: 4G

I can't be the only person who has their phone set to "prefer 2G" the majority of the time can I?

Most of the time I'm in or near a building with wifi, and my phone isn't slurping down battery, what's not to like?

0
1
Silver badge

Re: 4G

>Civilised parts of the country have more interesting things for you to to do than play with 4G phones

Er, the point of having a faster connection is that you spend *less* time waiting for your phone to display the information you need, not more.

>I can't be the only person who has their phone set to "prefer 2G" the majority of the time can I?

If you have a Sony with 'Stamina Mode', or a newer Android version on any phone, the phone will effectively be in 2G mode whenever the screen is turned off - i.e you'll only receive calls and SMS. It's great.

0
0

Re: 4G

Readers may be pleased to learn that yesterday I upgraded my SIM to support 4G. I thoroughly enjoyed my 4G experience, all 2 minutes of it, before it fell back to 3G. I have not seen "4G" next to the signal bars ever since.

2
0
Bronze badge

Re: 4G

You probably live in an area with poor reception, like the UK. Here in Nigeria, we get 4G all the time (when we get a signal at all).

2
0
Silver badge

5G????

Got a standard for it yet?

nope...?

Sorry. Failure.

As for IT Jobs getting Sexy

Can I have something of what they are smoking. IT Jobs have never been sexy and IMHO never will.

Roll on retirement and being able to do something really sexy. Not quite sure what that is though. Answers on a postcard to Mr Dabbs please.

2
0

"Despite my many enquiries, no phone company is willing to provide me with a 4G upgrade without raising my monthly bill from "affordable" to "insanity" in a single jump."

Funny that he was so unsuccessful when he contacted the phone companies. I contacted Vodafone when I bought a new 4g phone and reduced my monthly payments by £11 a month, my data allowance was increased to 6Gb and I also got a spotify subscription that would normally cost £10 pcm.

Lazy journalism methinks

7
5

Same here, I have an old android phone that supports it, as does my current iPhone. I get 4g for free, it doesn't cost anymore over the normal 3g/gsm data access.

I don't exactly live in a big city, or any city, and getting a 4g signal isn't hard. I even have unlimited data and it's not an expensive contract (£16pcm)

3
2
Silver badge

I think some of you are just struggling with the 'comedy subtext' that 4G isn't all its cracked up to be.

That's the point he is trying to make.

You don't have to take everything he writes as 100% true/accurate/gospel.

Strewth....Aspergers is a bitch.

14
3

Re: Lazy journalism methinks

I am lazy and I am a journalist, so you are right on both counts. However, you used the word "methinks", which immediately devalues anything you might say. Avoid this word in future.

28
0

Re: Lazy journalism methinks

"Methinks" rather than "Aspergers"?

Regardless, would upvote FaceWatch if I could. Genius.

1
0

Re: Lazy journalism methinks

methinks not, Dabbsy! Then again, I've never claimed to be a proper IT bod like wot most of you lot are! ;-}

4
0
Silver badge

Re: Lazy journalism methinks

... you used the word "methinks", which immediately devalues anything you might say ...

You might like to know that in a recent survey (that I've just made up on the spur of the moment) "methinks" was voted the 87th most popular word in the category "words that should get out more". I think it's important that we should show our support for these disadvantaged items of vocabulary and help to get them back on their feet and on the road toward full rehabilitation.

I know I'll be using it a lot more in 2016 ...

5
0
Silver badge

From Hamlet

Hamlet: Do you see yonder cloud that’s almost in shape of a camel?

Polonius: By the mass, and ’tis like a camel, indeed.

Hamlet: Methinks it is like a weasel.

Polonius: It is backed like a weasel.

Hamlet: Or like a whale?

Polonius: Very like a whale.

'Methinks' is just a different way of writing 'IMO'. There similarity of cloud shapes to other objects is clearly subjective, not objective. Also, Polonius is coming across as a bit of a sycophant.

2
0

Re: From Hamlet

Yes but methinks he was dead right about 'cloud computing' ....

Amazon Weasel Services ..

Google Whale ..

Oracle Camel ...

6
0

Re: From Hamlet

The passage you quote demonstrates how Hamlet is losing his paranoid marbles at this point. "Methinks" is a different way of writing "I think" while under the wholly false impression that it makes one sound clever. Clearly youthinks otherwise. What do theythinks?

5
0

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018