Even the PFY struggled to keep a straight face as Simon dealt with the accounts drone and her failed log-in for the third time that day.
El Reg's last caption competition had two men experiencing an Oculus Rift in a forest. Lots of the captions – indeed, most of them – hinged around a large ear growing out of a tree behind the two VR viewers. Christian Bertrand / Shutterstock.com There are lots of regular names here, and multiple entries from some of the …
Jane decided that perhaps raising a helpdesk ticket at 4:30pm on a Friday afternoon was not the best of ideas.
OK, done that and I still can't log in. And why are those people behind you all pointing and sniggering?
Her colleagues began to suspect that Jane wasn't giving this video conference her full attention
If that doesn't work, try going into dangling dog and using your mothers maiden name and your pet's birthday as the password...
Ethel was a little to eager to please on her first video conference with the Australian branch
The Phantom Furniture Thief of Old London Town was getting more brazen in his attacks.
"Phantom Furniture Thief of Old London Town"
Upvote for Two Ronnies reference.
HR decided that the flexible working policy needed some clarification.
Despite her best efforts, Fiona couldn't get the new video Captcha to recognise her 'r's.
First there was Tetris the computer game.
Then there was the human Tetris TV game show.
Image recognition now allows the two to be combined...
I REALLY hate these amature videos! RTFM jerks!
It's not comfortable, but Simon Travaglia assured me that you get a stronger WiFi signal like this.
Sarah's colleagues still hadn't told her about the Ctrl-Alt-Down Arrow trick.
Despite her best efforts, she just couldn't make windows vista usable.
"How2 Avoid Haemorrhoid Pain whilst Typing" instructions seem to be effective.
"How2 Avoid Haemorrhoid Problems" for typing certainly seems effective, but I have to ask does my Butt look big in this?
Hipsters newest attempt to stand out, now standing desks are too mainstream
New viewing angle reducing privacy filter may be a little bit too secure
OK, I accepted it when they told my I was "holding it wrong", but now they're just taking the mickey!
How the feck do I hit <ctrl><alt><del> now?
Kate tries a new angle on how to win this week's El-Reg caption competition.....
When Health and Safety videos get corrupted...
Microsoft launches Windows for Aussies.
Let those guys on the dating site say my breasts are sagging now!
Nope, still looks White&Gold to me.
They say if you do it standing on your head you can't catch a virus ...
Microsoft surface Book
Breaking news: Microsoft have released the all new surface book, and its due to change the way we think about laptops (promotional picture enclosed).
The latest Windows 10 Installation Requirements.
Microsoft: Cortana V3 now does Yoga!
New for 2016: Windows Password now use Facial Recognition
New for 2016: Windows Password now use Faecal Recognition
Even from this angle she still couldn't make out the bloody captcha codes ...
These CAPTCHA tests are really getting challenging.
To see how to finish this exercise manoeuvre safely, click Next now.
What do you mean I'm holding it wrong?!?!
The PFY's sniggering almost gave the game away, but Simon managed his best prank yet.
Helen wasn't sure the Wikipedia recipe for upside-down cake was entirely accurate...
Help, my smart bra has crashed again!
Damnit Janet, just press CTRL+ALT+UP ARROW like I told you an hour ago.
(those who have supported users with Intel GPUs know what I mean...)
Re: Bad joke
Already upvoted for humour factor... but thanks to that I just "discovered" that [Ctrl]+[Alt] plus any cursor arrow is a nifty workspace switching shortcut!
Count this splaff as a second upvote in appreciation
Re: Bad joke
My memory is a little flakier than I'd like, but I'm pretty sure that CTRL+ALT+<direction> is the rotation shortcut for Windows Intel IGP drivers.
Obvs workspace switching on *nix DEs too.
Anyway, that's my entry, I'll go back to being droll and unfunny now :-)
These new ergonomic chair designs are getting out of hand.
Secure login gone mad
Radius token, check
Finger print, check
Retinal scan, check
Wind blowing from SSW, check
Balancing on head, check
Legs at 90 degrees, check
Failed login, oh hell I forgot to cross my fingers
This years models are so thin and light... also we have a new notebook range.
Her computer still sucked even in zero G.
So I bought a Mac, but oddly the world didn't look different...
Our usability team are evaluating problem scenarios with the new detachable screens.
English is such an odd language. F'r instance my head isn't really over my heels at all.
Despite all her efforts Emma couldn't quite get to look through the front grille to see if the rumours about a miniature Difference Engine were true.
Tech Support? Good. Folded at a right-angle, as requested. No, no, the screen is still not right...
Having joined the "flexible workspace program," Jane now need to prove that she could get into the workspace.