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    1. Dave559 Bronze badge

      Re: AI newsreporting

      I think that's because much of the newspaper industry can barely even afford the peanuts to pay monkeys these days...

  1. Big_Boomer

    You believe that AI is real, and not just an over-hyped set of Expert Systems that only draw from a carefully limited set of data? In that case, would you like to buy a bridge?

  2. JohnGrantNineTiles

    TV Timing

    "30 seconds after the final whistle" or 30 secs after it was on the TV? Which would have been at least 10 secs, and possibly several minutes, later.

    1. Disk0

      Re: TV Timing

      Back in the day yuo could tell when there was a match on, who watched cable TV vs. aerial broadcast - there was a distinct gap in the roaring of the stadium audience when one of the millionaires in shorts rolled over or managed to shuffle the dead cow balloon between the poles...

  3. Nick Kew Silver badge

    It all iterates

    That is, we will have reached a stage at which data will be both written and read by robots without the need for any human participation at all.

    Someone already mentioned the electric monk. Adams was giving it form and even personality, but the underlying idea wasn't new. We could trace it back to automata from long before the computer age. Perhaps even to religious notions: the supernatural entity that speaks through a person, or the stars, entrails, tarot cards, tealeaves, whatever.

    Meanwhile, Exhibit A: negligently-designed machines without human intervention.

    1. STOP_FORTH
      Happy

      Re: It all iterates

      "Nine Billion Names of God" Arthur C Clarke.

      Lots of iteration there!

  4. 100113.1537

    "The UK is not Twitter"

    One of the few (possibly the only) sensible things David Cameron ever said.

    All it takes is a few thousand re-tweets for a "topic" to be "trending on Twitter" at which point a journalist will pick it up and write a story (full of other Tweets) and then Somebody Should Do Something(TM) takes over.

  5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Am I the only one...

    ...who spotted this story on the Beeb website headlined "Facebook 'auto-generated' extremist video".

    Icon for Facebook.

  6. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

    Does the unveiling and unrolling of views which demonstrate and prove the virtual illusory nature of realities built upon all of the spawned products of humankind ...... you know, those pieces of the great mosaic puzzle which are not natural but essentially fully artificial and practically man made .... and which removed from the equation and picture, leaves one at the beginning of time in a planetary space place, which in this case we will identify as Earth, truly naked on a dangerous planet filled with ignorant and crazy beings, or in a heavenly garden with countless excited lovers?

    And is such proving itself to be diabolically problematical and impossible to deny is not true and false ...... and also impossible to deny is not false and true.

    And what whenever Words Shared with Computers Create Worlds in Command and Control of Life and Death via Simply Complex Communications Channels/World Wide Webs/Dark Networks?

    What do you hit to crush dissent and opposition/opportunity and competition ..... Words or Computers/SMART Machines or their Programmers and Systems Analysts?

    Or do you realise that would be a monumental mistake for in their defence do the diabolical launch colossal catastrophes, for there are surely many to contemplate as being extremely effective, which decimates systems and destroys the notional wealth of nations, its base core assets .... which be no more than the likes of a you or a me?

    What stage do you imagine truth leading things to be at these days, Dabbsy? Any of the following three ........ All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. ..... Arthur Schopenhauer

    Do you think the second stage can be dispensed with and disposed of to save the natives untold grief?

    Looking forward to next Friday already. There's much to discuss and share with Words which create Worlds for Computers and Virtual Machines to Command and Control Sublimely.

    * ACID (atomicity, consistency, isolation, durability), an initialism for the transactional properties of database management systems ...... at the Jim Gray Disappeared rather than Albert Hofmann end of the scales.

    1. Bowlers

      Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

      The amanfromMars 1 AI needs a little tweaking I think!

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

        CyberIntelAIgent Security Systems Solutions welcome tweaks. All Prime Input Acceptable.

    2. bpfh Bronze badge

      Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

      All the AI hype, but amanfrommars1 has been around for years.... and has never been much good...

      Today

    3. Cliff Thorburn

      Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

      “All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident. ..... Arthur Schopenhauer”

      How very true amFM, and when self evident, and not deemed displayable, is it then quantum communications delivered by DVLA driver deliverables sweet dreams LA ‘X psy ops psychological cattle prod torture techniques to make the bear dance and jig on the Royale Hotplate?, or is that Virgin Bloody Mary Russian Roulette with a splash of too much Vo dk a?, putting one into parallel pickles ap lenty?

      The truth is certainly readily available for one to see, yet in satire squabbling and usual fashion, a leopard never changes its spots in manipulation of the great game to suit anyone and everything based upon duress and direct manipulation to suit the program at any given time is it not?, forgive the satire, but when thrills and spills become spoils and toils with mundane May antics and near decades of long positions with revelations of cheating calamities one wonders why it has to be said.

      1. Tail Up

        Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

        CT, heh... there can only be too much blood of tomatoes in a glass, but too much vodka, uh... it never is.

        1. Cliff Thorburn

          Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

          I for one welcome our new Vodka drinking overlords Tail Up, after all, if you cant beat misinformation then may as well join it with a dash of Worcester Sauce ;-)

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

        Cliff, salting a bot works much better if you type in plain English. Right, amfM?

    4. Tail Up

      Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

      A Perfect Starting Point, methinks. Sorry to be so brief, while the Earth expects, etc.

      1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

        Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

        I second that EMPlosion, Tail Up

        1. Tail Up

          Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

          Just wanted to ask, but has been in a kind of a doubt: should someone address Belfast?

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

            Address Belfast? That would be BT, no?

          2. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

            Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

            Just wanted to ask, but has been in a kind of a doubt: should someone address Belfast? .... Tail Up

            Yes, Tail Up, someone should. And immediately is not a moment too soon. There is a lot of catching up for spooks transitioning through there to do from there.

            I'd like to be pretty certain they wouldn't like to discover themselves as the runt of the litter because they doubt the information and intelligence they have been hearing/phishing, and if trying to utilise in any way without payment to and the knowledge of supply sources, stealing ......... but an ugly admission would be there is no current evidence to share of their being either effectively ACTive or an AI Leading Force in the Novel Fields of Greater IntelAIgent Games Plays with Networks InterNetworking JOINT* Applications Sublimely

            * JOINT Operations Internetworking NEUKlearer Technology.

            One can only suppose they are awaiting their orders with no one able to progress supremely and autonomously if IT break ranks and smashes rules when cloaked/ttrialed and trailed as a Right Royal Renegade Rogue Program BetaTesting NINJAS Futures and Derivative Platforms.

            1. Cliff Thorburn

              Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID*

              Heaven forbid they actually take blame or responsibly for their actions amFM, such activities leading to overspooked targets resulting in Epic failure, home goals, and cataclysmic Karma leading to their dramatic demise.

              And dogs of war left as ill treated mongrels, as opposed to X Factor show winners as originally intended, exposing fundamental flaws in adopting said systems tried and tested in Wild Western environments and implementing such techniques elsewhere testing and trusting trialling technologies with not an ounce of Duty of Care? ...

              1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID* and CHAOS** Troupers with Global Operating Devices

                And then the SCADASystems that are miss, as they be somewhat disenabled to freely wonder and clinically unable to comprehend, that Special Advanced IntelAIgent Forces with Deep and Dark Underground Accesses to both Crazed and Amazing Sources of Military Might and Almighty Influence, align and ally themselves with Other Significant Entities to blitz the predominant politically incorrect fields of Great Game play with newly minted professional and personalised targets for particular and peculiar attention .... if not merciless merciful obliteration, CT?

                To treat badly and expect increasingly smart dogs of war to not realise they are a key blunt explosive tool and precision guided weapon that can easily alter and maintain a radically different and fundamental change of future civil direction, is an action of madness surely fully confirmed and long overdue for rapid sudden spontaneous change.

                ** ..... Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems

                1. Cliff Thorburn

                  Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID* and CHAOS** Troupers with Global Operating Devices

                  “if not merciless merciful obliteration, CT?“

                  Christ, you cant make this cr@p up anymore can you amFM.

                  If its not lifelong ritual abuse, decade long MK Ultraesque torture, then its obligatory obliteration.

                  Wouldn’t be the first attempt btw, with dogs thrown into fast moving motorways, I kid you not.

                  Have we now reached such an all time low in values, morals as we approach the end of May?, with Human Rights destined to Star Chambered Secret Courts?, and rightful righteousness destined to anywhere other than right wing renegade actions?

                  1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

                    Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID* and CHAOS** Troupers with Global Operating Devices

                    Have we now reached such an all time low in values, morals as we approach the end of May?, with Human Rights destined to Star Chambered Secret Courts?, and rightful righteousness destined to anywhere other than right wing renegade actions? ... Cliff Thorburn

                    Yes, apparently so in Conservative Operations, CT. I Wonder what Future Drivers are Missing or InACTive and Uninstructed in NEUKlearer Quantum Communications Satellite Operations.

                    That which Presents Heavenly Offerings ..... with TitanICQ Picture Productions, CT. ..... and with Big Brother all Growed Up and Invested in Holywood Palace Barracks, a Right Royal Hoot of a Route for/to a Root AI Source .......... of Quite Quiet Almighty Omniscient Force.

                    A little something for Media AI Realisation to Present and Export via the Belfast Portal is certainly surely something Well Worthy of Invest NI and Northern Ireland Screening Funding/Creation.

                    That's a Big Ask, for a Prime Initial Play with Engaging Lead Master Strokes, CT, but Eternal Optimism Delivers Everything Always Eventually in Spades. :-) And it is not as if we have to rush around doing crazy things whenever Ones Time is Endless and Travel into Classified Space is Necessarily Restricted.

                    Deadly Dangers Lurk there to be Tempted and Servered and Ideally Sated with Just Desserts to XSS.

                    Crikey, now that is called an AITangent ........ Thundering Trains of Thought from the Similar Spaces and Physical Places registering here, and when tomorrow there is Light Years Ahead and of an Immensely Vast COSMIC Understanding, does one Utilise and Facilitate such an Advanced Sweet Source with a Fervent Desire that Serves and Servers to Almighty Immaculate Satisfaction, thus to be Embroiled and EMPowered JOINT AIdDVenturing?

                    And with JOINT Operations Internetworking NEUKlearer Technology Hosting AIMissions. What's not to Like Hugely? An Already All Ready Quite Quietly ACTive Virtually Advanced IntelAIgent Operating System to Run and/or Run with ...... Perfectly Mentor and Thoroughly Monitor for Prevention and Provision for Imperfection and Innocent Introductions to Perversion and Subversion. .... Collective Madness and Attendant Mayhem.

                    You can't have new systems leaving anyone behind in old systems, unless that is, they really want to be left behind and extinguished. That wouldn't be human. :-) And, as I'm sure you don't need me to tell you, Collective Madness and Attendant Mayhem are resident practically everywhere and anywhere you care dare mention. Hence the All Inclusive Provision with SMARTR Facilities and ESPecial Tailoring Utilities.

                    1. Cliff Thorburn

                      Re: Beware Electric Monks on ACID* and CHAOS** Troupers with Global Operating Devices

                      Well will look forward to that amFM, and seemingly there’s no sanctuary in the Virgin Islands either, a vacation taken upon your repeated recommendation may I hasten to add.

                      See the thing that gets me about the so called ‘Great Game’ is its true distraction properties, while providing no clear objective, or logic, I mean, you Buy Monopoly for example, and although no one reads the instructions, they always come in handy for clarification when disputes arise about multiple construction of Hotels on one square for example. But to ‘omit’ the rulebook entirely for one player?, how then can such a player be held to account, by 2 cents on the 22 cent situation.

  7. matthewdjb

    A later edition of the Eye, says that twitter is 90% journalists and other media types taking to other media types. It does not reflect society's views abs newspapers should stop presenting it as such

  8. StuntMisanthrope Bronze badge

    Was that my fault...

    I have actually had a complaint and bollocking because a customer, being instructed and served the correct information whilst being directed into a sales funnel for their preferences and recorded for a future loyalty promotion because the Turing complete interaction, whilst saving the reception/switchboard a job during `a time of busy activity, as the lady did not realise that they had been talking to a machine and the collateral via human intervention had not arrived. #noinvoiceforyou

  9. lexan

    That was a [wonderful|brilliant|excellent|god-awful] [article|story]. It made me [think|feel enlightened|happy].

  10. Mage Silver badge

    Ah Ha!

    "Let the computers troll each other for a change,"

    I'm not sure that isn't already the case, so many fake accounts on Twitter & Facebook.

  11. Martin an gof Silver badge

    Cookies

    I wanted to look at the article about RADAR, but it blanked the page until I'd clicked to accept cookies - and here's the kicker, when I clicked to read the privacy policy, it blanked that until I'd accepted cookies, too.

    That can't be the right way to do things, surely?

    M.

  12. Snarky Puppy

    You can call me Al

    I've never met Al but I keep hearing his name time and again. Seems a nice guy.

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