back to article Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Lovers of pork products rejoice! There is now a vending machine from which you can indulge in porcine pleasure until the, er, pigs come home. The bad news? This is only happening in the US... for now. In a pilot programme, the Ohio Pork Council (OPC) has installed the device in the Meat Sciences Department of the Ohio State …

  1. Outski

    Re: Simple

    Beef bacon can sometimes be acceptable (E&O hotel in Penang springs to mind), but turkey bacon is just all sorts of wrong

  2. StuntMisanthrope Bronze badge

    A late triviality.

    Having given up technology and downed tools, like much everyone else. I'm only now comforted on a daily basis, by my pork scratching advent calendar. Fire, the wheel, sliced bread and now the pinnacle. I have a theory, evolution will start to reverse. #stopyouvemissedaclause

  3. Scott 29

    Canadian

    Don’t the Canadians have an iron in this fire? Canadian bacon, eh?

  4. jake Silver badge

    Re: Canadian

    So-called "Canadian" bacon is an artifact of American marketing and has absolutely zero to do with our Kanukistan cousins. It is basically pork tenderloin that is salt-cured, very lightly smoked (sometimes to the point of being unnoticeable), and fully cooked. It is essentially deli (sandwich) meat, but some people like to turn it into leather by cooking it on pizza.

  5. Michael Strorm

    Re: Canadian

    More specifically, according to Wikipedia, "Canadian" bacon appears to be the American name for a cooked version of what everyone else- Canadians included- refer to as back bacon.

    Quite why Americans would feel the need to pre-cook back bacon in particular beats me.

  6. Brad Ackerman
    Pint

    Jimmy's Farm makes sausage with bacon in it. There's no question that Britannia rules the waves when it comes to pork products.

  7. Pedigree-Pete Bronze badge
    Pint

    @BradA ref Britannia rules the waves when it comes to pork products.

    Simple rule here, Welsh lamb, Scotch Beef and English Pig. Bring on the Gloucester Old Spot sausages. :)PP

    >>To wash it all down.

  8. John Savard Silver badge

    Learned Something New

    I thought you guys in the UK had to import your bacon from Denmark! I remember buying some Danish bacon that was available in Canada, and found it just as good or maybe even slightly better than our own product, so if UK bacon is as good as that, it probably stacks up to American bacon as well.

  9. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Re: Learned Something New

    UK > Denmark > Left pondia

  10. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Re: Learned Something New

    John Savard,

    We like bacon so much that apparently we've run out of room for pigs. So we've bought a lot of it from Denmark for years now.

    Food markets are weird. For example the UK exports a lot of lamb to the rest of Europe and then imports loads from New Zealand to eat ourselves. Seems rather strange that we don't eat our own and let the Kiwi stuff go off to Europe - and save a bit of transport costs.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Learned Something New

    Same with fish. Catches in UK waters are mostly mackerel and sardines which are not that popular in the UK, so we export ~90% (mostly to the EU) and import the white fish which most people seem to prefer - e.g. our local chippy, in a piss-take of "artisan" food shops, have put up a board telling you exactly which Norweigian trawler caught the fish you've just ordered.

  12. Toni the terrible

    Re: Learned Something New

    Can't understand the market in lamb - much prefer fresher lamb grown here e.g., Rosedale lamb. Heck I even like UK mutton.

  13. Toni the terrible

    Re: Learned Something New

    Well being a UKian I love mackrel & Sardines but the latter usually comes canned from Portugal

  14. Roger Greenwood

    Delivery by drone surely?

    Is that not the obvious delivery method?

    I think they missed a trick there for some excellent publicity.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Delivery by drone surely?

    very good

  16. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    products donated by the likes of US food producers … Hormel.

    A vending machine that can SPAM you. Cue Vikings

  17. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    Try the spam, bacon, bacon, bacon and spam

    that's not got much spam in it.

  18. TonyJ Silver badge

    No one else...

    ...picking up on the fact that this vending machine is in the "Meat Sciences Department"???

  19. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Re: No one else...

    Oh yes... a worthy cause for the benefit of humanity.

    https://ansci.osu.edu/undergraduate/areas-study/meat-science

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This story is anti-semitic

    I'm outraged and insulted, my rights have been violated.

  21. Captain Hogwash

    Re: achingly hip

    Vegan eh?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: achingly hip

    In the 1970s an apparently devout vegetarian friend admitted to the occasional lapse with a bacon butty.

  23. katrinab Silver badge
    Happy

    Can I suggest Danish, or Irish. British is good too.

    As for the American stuff, the Trade Descriptions Act makes it illegal to call that bacon here.

  24. Noel Morgan

    My favourite type of BLT sandwich

    Bacon

    Little bit more bacon

    Two more slices of bacon......

  25. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    The Vimes special?

  26. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Happy

    You mean a BACON lettuce and tomato sandwich then?

  27. Bluto Nash

    Oh, I CERTAINLY enjoy a BLT sandwich.

    Once I pick the L and T off of it.

  28. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sorry for (my) loss

    I used to be a big (English) Bacon Eater, but now I am not allowed. :-(

    Unfortunately, the Purines contained in pork and some other meat products activate my Gout, so they are barred from my diet.

    Honestly, I could kill for a bacon sandwich right now, but tomorrow my hands would have seized up and my feet would be swollen and sore. BAH!

    Allopurinol helps somewhat, but best to avoid.

  29. Toni the terrible

    Re: Sorry for (my) loss

    Prunes in Bacon? Bacon should be just sliced pig. It's those vegans again!

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Sorry for (my) loss

    No, not prunes, Purines. D'Oh!

  31. Matt Collins

    Bittersweet story

    This otherwise joyous news serves to remind me of how much we miss Lester and his work. I like to think he'd have pipped them to this particular post if only one of us had thought of it and put it to the SPB.

  32. Chairman of the Bored Silver badge

    Another way to skin the cat...

    ...oh, sorry, this is not about a hot dog. Horrible thing, that. They are at most only 25pct dog!

    Bacon! The fifth food group. Oh, how I love it, but can no longer indulge as much. Good substitute: get yourself some decent local turkey ... slicr think and soak in a lime / pepper solution, then smoke along with some jalapeno peppers. Serve on a skewer with some fresh bell pepper slices and said jalapeno.

    Pro tip: do not smoke Carolina Reapers in such a way that the smoke can enter your house. No particular reason for this tip, just sayin'

  33. Craig 2

    Peak Tech?

    More like Pork Tech...

  34. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    US Bacon...

    Yes, ok... eat the US bacon, even if it (IMHO) is not very good. Just don't question the horrific conditions the poor old pigs are raised in.

  35. ADJB

    Faith in technology

    Articles like this are what keep my faith in technology alive when your bring flooded with IOT devices and other worthless crap.

  36. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    Finally, the Industrial Revolution pays off.

  37. DCFusor Silver badge

    ?

    Seems to me the people complaining about American bacon - as if that was a singular thing...are missing something important.

    Just like chinesium you get cheap from "bigvendor" yeah, the stuff you just buy precooked somewhere is going to be terrible - just like every other thing they offer. This is news?

    If you do your own shopping and preparing, you can get heavenly bacon in the US, I do all the time.\

    But then if I go to a modern supermarket (vs the small town market I usually use) - I've noticed that if microwave ovens and/or freezers were to quit working, most of America would starve or die of a soda pop/potato chip overdose, since it seems no one knows how to cook anymore....

    Cities. ugh, all this crap is in cities where people think they are civilized but long ago lost anything but the advertising to those of us in more "salt of the earth" locations. There is only one fast-food outlet in the entire county I live in - and no one goes there.

    I'd bet the US isn't alone there...it may be ahead, but it's a matter of degree.

    There are plenty of specialty outfits in the US that sell the best bacon on earth, or so I'm convinced - if there's any better I wouldn't be able to tell and would be confused about whether I'd died and gone to heaven.

  38. Brian Miller Silver badge

    Extend RFC 2324

    Extend the coffee protocol and support fresh-fried bacon! Really, that's the only way to do it.

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