back to article Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex

If, on the eve of Halloween, your mind has turned to Amethyst Realm, the woman who dated more than 15 ghosts, let us get you up to speed. She has settled down. With another spook. The 30-year-old "spiritual guidance counsellor" from Bristol plans to have a baby with her spectral fiancé, Cornwall Live reported, though how that …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    >Whatever "medication(s)" she's taking, I want some!

    The medications she needs to take, you don't want them.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kinda jealous... endless hands free orgasms as one part of your mind fucks the other sounds like a fun forever... :3

  3. Hero Protagonist

    “A trip to Wookey Hole“

    Sometimes the jokes just write themselves

  4. Timmy B Silver badge

    Re: “A trip to Wookey Hole“

    Wookey Hole....

    Just up the road from me. It's as sad a place as you can imagine. Every few years we pop over to see if it's any better... Why? I have no idea, it never is.

  5. Mike Pellatt

    Re: “A trip to Wookey Hole“

    And for some bizarre reason, advertised on the A303, which at its nearest point is some 20 miles away.

  6. Timmy B Silver badge

    Re: “A trip to Wookey Hole“

    "And for some bizarre reason, advertised on the A303, which at its nearest point is some 20 miles away."

    Desperate bit to stop people going the far better Fleet Air Arm Museum (which I am actually looking at as I type this).

  7. onefang

    I'm wondering was that an astral plane loo they used? Buddhic plane, causal plane, divine plane, etheric plane, logoic plane, spiritual plane, or a hyper plane? Perhaps it was one of the 32 planes of Buddhism?

    Asking for a dead friend.

  8. JLV Silver badge

    "You don't scare me, you don't scare me," I said

    To whatever it was floating in the air above my bed

    He knew I'd understand

    He was the ghost of a Texas ladies' man

  9. Shaha Alam

    child1: your mum's so old her fanny's haunted.

    child2: she's having a ghost baby.

    *awkward silence*

  10. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Sex with a ghost.

    Do you experience la petite mort ?

  11. Stevie Silver badge


    “A phantom fling”? That is familiar ... let me think ... yes! Inhave the identity of this ghost lover!

    It can only be The Phantom Flan Flinger.

  12. Simon Harris Silver badge

    Re: Bah!

    The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town.

  13. Stevie Silver badge

    Re: PRBoOLT

    No "fling" context though. I'm sticking with Flanderella's dad.

  14. steviebuk Silver badge

    The only Ghost In the Machine I have

    Is one with my power supply. Have never worked out what causes this issue.

    Turn the PC off and a few seconds later it turns itself back on. Automatic restart when power lose is disabled in the bios. If you flick the switch on the back of the PSU off, you still hear it attempt at least once to turn back on, but of course can't.


  15. axemanrj

    An old long winded Cornish Joke

    Theres an old Cornish joke about Jethro, which to cut a long story short a group of people are asked if they'd seen a ghost, hands go up, have they talked to a ghost? a few hands go down, the questions continue until Has anyone made love to a ghost? Only Jethro's hand stays up. The interviewer asks what it was like to make love to a ghost? To which Jethro replies "Ghost? I thought you said goat!"

  16. not.known@this.address Bronze badge

    Demons are a ghouls best friend

    You lot are all going to be laughing on the other side of your faces if any of the religions are right, you do realise that don't you?

    Or better yet (or worse, depending on your point of view) - what if that "quantum theory" thing that allows every possible universe to exist in parallel is true? That would mean that not only do some gods exist, but ALL OF THEM do!

    Blasphemy is so much more fun when you have an infinite number of deities to annoy...

  17. GrapeBunch Bronze badge

    Getting there.

    While you're taking the bus to work, she's working the incubus.

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "a niggling suspicion"

    Someone needs to look up where that term came from....

    Can't say it in North America anymore.

    I mean I don't care just letting you know you might have triggered some

    very functional and productive people..................................yeah right.

  19. jake Silver badge

    "Can't say it in North America anymore."

    Oh, bullshit. The word is from the Old Norse hnøggr, meaning stingy.

    Inventing crap like this is part of the problem. Please stop contributing to it.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have a stingy suspicion you may be right

  21. Mandoscottie

    Explains the spare sandwich, this morning!

    I have no words, what a fucktard.

    Clearly a sarnie short of a picnic. (goes to hunt down a clip of this morning, gotta see this head-trumpet in action!)

  22. TeeCee Gold badge


    When you're flicking the bean it's you going "Woo Hoo", not a ghost.


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