back to article Leaked memo: No internet until you clean your bathroom, Ecuador told Julian Assange

Like a weary mother laying down the law, London's Ecuadorian embassy has slapped WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange with a nine-page memo of house rules to follow if he wants to see the internet again under their roof. On Sunday WikiLeaks said in a statement that Ecuador would "remove the isolation regime imposed on [Assange]", …

  1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Coat

    Re: @SVV Please, someone set up a GoFundMe

    "I think you'll find it's spelt cat GIF"

    But, but, but, how do you pronounce GIF?

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Re: Please, someone set up a GoFundMe

    "shovel money at you."

    Your choice of verb is greatly appreciated.

  3. MarkB

    Re: @SVV Please, someone set up a GoFundMe

    "But, but, but, how do you pronounce GIF?"

    Carefully and competently.

  4. BinkyTheMagicPaperclip Silver badge

    Re: Please, someone set up a GoFundMe

    You really, really don't want to use a catgenie. Go and read the Amazon reviews if you want to laugh and feel more than a little sick.

    A self cleaning cat litter tray does not exist, unfortunately. It's just not possible to reasonably cope with the vast range of cat crap.

    If I thought they'd actually work, I'd buy one like a shot, but with a cat that has digestive problems, the only way to handle a litter tray is manually.

  5. mildy bemused

    Re: Please, someone set up a GoFundMe

    The spelling of the middle word is incorrect.

  6. UberMunchkin

    He is free to leave any time he wants, frankly I think the embassy staff have gotten more than a little fed up with him and his BS.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    > frankly I think the embassy staff have gotten more than a little fed up with him and his BS.

    BS or BO?

    [A: Both] :-)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It wouldn't be the first time he's got into trouble over...

  9. Rich 2

    Hee Hee Hee

    Ecuador (or rather the poor souls having to put up with him in the embassy) must be getting REEEEEEEEEEEALY fed up with JA by now.

    Maybe run a poll - The top ten things you did and regretted later;-

    #1 Giving JA refuge

  10. Maelstorm Bronze badge

    Considering....

    Considering that this guy published STOLEN documents belonging to the United States Government (confidential, secret, top secret), I support the move to have him brought here to the US to stand trial under espionage charges. He published over 250,000 diplomatic cabals between the State Department and our embassies, now there's the whole Vault 7 thing which consists of communications, documents, and source code that was stolen from the CIA's internal, air-gapped network. This guy needs 'el Chappo' Guzman as a cell mate.

    Personally, I welcome his current accommodations. A self imposed prison sentence at the hands of a foreign nation. If more criminals could be like him we wouldn't need jails.

    One other thing. The UK says they will arrest him if he leaves the embassy. The question becomes what if Ecuador grants him diplomatic immunity? Or if they sneak him out? Surely the UK is not searching diplomatic vehicles. They could smuggle him out to an undisclosed airport and send him to Ecuador.

  11. sandman

    Re: Considering....

    I think that perhaps a branch of the US govt (there are many overlapping jurisdictions) would find it much easier to "pick him up" in Ecuador than even in the UK...

  12. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    Re: Considering....

    @Maelstorm

    The question becomes what if Ecuador grants him diplomatic immunity? Or if they sneak him out? Surely the UK is not searching diplomatic vehicles. They could smuggle him out to an undisclosed airport and send him to Ecuador.

    It's long been debated here on El Reg if that solution was viable, the general consensus being that it wasn't, given that host nation hosting said diplomat (the UK in this case) have to approve all diplomats. Ecuador went ahead and tried anyway, granting Asshinge citizenship of Ecuador and applying for him to be made a diplomat. Now, Asshinge is an Ecuadorian citizen and still not a diplomat as the UK refused the application. So not viable a viable way out.

  13. Saruman the White

    Re: Considering....

    Ecuador did try to give him diplomatic immunity a couple of years ago; I suspect so that they could get him on an aircraft to South America. HMG refused to agree to it (diplomatic immunity is only valid if the recipient country agrees to it, you cannot just extend it to anyone you like) . The whole point of diplomatic immunity is that it is not supposed to be abused; Ecuador came within a cat's whisker of breaking this rule!

  14. Jon 37

    Re: Considering....

    Diplomatic immunity has to be *requested* by Ecuador, and the UK government can choose to grant it or not. In Julian's case, Ecuador did ask for diplomatic immunity and the UK said no.

    The treaty that provides protection for Ecuador's genuine diplomats also says that they shouldn't smuggle him out. So for their own protection, the diplomats won't want to be involved in "sneaking him out".

    Regarding "diplomatic vehicles", I don't think the building has a garage? I thought it was just a flat. In that case, he'd have to come out the building and through an area where he could be legally arrested, to get in the vehicle. Then he'd have the same problem trying to get out the vehicle into a plane. I'm not even sure if a diplomatic vehicle would provide any protection if the police knew there was a wanted fugitive in there.

  15. imanidiot Silver badge

    Re: Considering....

    That's easily solved. Find someone who looks enough like him and have him visit, then get in a black, tinted window car wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap. Drive him to the nearest port. If the car gets stopped, show correct ID documents and tell the coppers: "You've got the wrong guy, I was just visiting". Do this enough times and at some point the police will just assume it's the same visitor leaving. Then leave the other guy in the embassy for a day and walk Julian Asshat out, put him on a boat then transfer him to a ship sailing to Ecuador in international waters.

  16. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Re: Considering....

    "The question becomes what if Ecuador grants him diplomatic immunity?"

    ISTR that one was considered and dismissed.

    "Or if they sneak him out? Surely the UK is not searching diplomatic vehicles."

    Setting a precedent that might lead to such searches wouldn't be a good idea.

  17. Stork Bronze badge

    Re: Considering....

    I think (but IANAL) that he could argue he is a journalist and is thus protected by the right of free speech. Like e.g. Bernstein & Woodward, even if the comparison makes me cringe

  18. Jay Lenovo

    Ecuadorian Embassy or "Forever Home Rescue Foundation"

    All they ask is that the pets(both human and cat) are house-broken and don't claw at the neighbors.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    hyprocrites

    Wow, just wow. Most of the commentards here better hope they never rat out someone powerful - many of whom have publicly called for his death, and who have the power and track record of doing just that -

    And not one affected party claims any of it was anything but utter truth about the moral turpitude and lawbreaking of those he revealed the secrets of.

    I guess the 5 eyes have plenty of astroturfers, or at least people working for them who were implicted by what wikileaks revealed. Who else would even care? Anyone thinking knew all this crap already, all Assange provided was proof in their own words, which again, they don't even deny.

    And that's from someone who thinks he's a prick and did it mostly for his own ends. I don't care, I'm just glad the truth of actions by many officially empowered but very bad actors is out.

    The keyboard warriors here who lack the same level of courage or morals should be ashamed. Things are this bad because no one else stepped up to the plate.

  20. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    Re: hyprocrites

    "The keyboard warriors here who lack the same level of courage or morals should be ashamed. Things are this bad because no one else stepped up to the plate."

    ...says the AC.

    Who SAYS irony is dead?

  21. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    Re: hippo crates

    The keyboard warriors here who lack the same level of courage or morals should be ashamed. Things are this bad because no one else stepped up to the plate.

    You heard the commentard! We all should have the moral fortitude to commit rape! And then the sheer courage to run from punishment!

    Seriously, the one good thing he did was leak the cables. Pretty much everything else he has ever done (throwing the guy who actually got them under the bus, throwing various wikileaks "collegues" under the bus, throwing his "friends" who paid his bail under the bus. And, you know, rape as well) has been morally abhorrent at best. But hey, yeah, the world would be a better place if we were all like King Julian.

  22. 2Nick3 Bronze badge

    Re: hyprocrites

    I'll just point out that Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Ghandi both spent a lot of time in jail, knowing it was a consequence of their actions. They knew the law (right or wrong, it was the law they were under at the time), chose to violate it, and accepted the consequences. Before you put Julian Assange on that same pedestal you have to get past the fact that he is putting avoiding those consequences above trying to clear his name as an accused rapist.

  23. MrMerrymaker

    Re: hyprocrites

    You're on about bravery when you have a go at us with an anonymous account...

    As the kids say, LOL

  24. Teiwaz Silver badge

    Re: hyprocrites

    Before you put Julian Assange on that same pedestal you have to get past the fact that he is putting avoiding those consequences above trying to clear his name as an accused rapist.

    Twisted out of control government agencies are not above tarring an individual with a nasty brush to undermine any popular support, it's dirty tricks 101, and the opening premise in Blacks Seven.

    I'm not saying that's the deal in this case, but it's something to remember.

  25. LucreLout Silver badge

    Re: hyprocrites

    The keyboard warriors here who lack the same level of courage or morals should be ashamed.

    Sorry kiddo, but in my considerd opinion, Assange has no morals and certainly no courage.

    If I'd coaxed Brad Manning into doing what he did, I'd be sat in the cell next to his. When Chelsea Manning was released, I'd have been very pleased for her indeed. Julian is still hiding from his part int he whole affair because, I believe, he is a coward.

    Don't lionise people and institutions so much, no living ones anyway, because they invariably turn out not to be who you thought they were - see generic lefites and Aung Sann Suu Kyi.

    So, yes, I lack his morals and level of courage, because I actually have a moral framework, and the balls to back it up when called to account.

    I can't make up my mind. Are you actually Julian, or just his pussy? (come on mods, the goal was open, I had the ball....)

  26. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    Another question...

    This may well have been answered over the years, but its been a while and my memory is giving up, so indulge me if you will:

    Assange was quite happily living in Sweden before all of this. From what I remember, he wasn't furtively sneaking about the place, glancing nervously around corners or in to dark allyways, hiding behind overly large dark glasses and a turned up collar the whole time, he was attending social gatherings, meeting women and such. Then he is accused of rape and threatened with arrest and he flees the country, claiming Sweden will extradite him to the US.

    Now, in the US, he has committed a crime (let's just go with this part, the rights and wrongs of what he did are not what I'm interested in) worthy of having him extradited. It wasn't a secret he was in Sweden, he was fairly vocal about it as I recall. So why would the US have had to wait to issue an extradition request? Was it even necessary that he committed a crime in Sweden? Or do the Swedish only extradite if someone has committed a crime on their soil? Because as we all know from recent cases, the British are quite happy to extradite anybody at the drop of a hat. So surely, he was less safe in the UK from an extradition point of view?

    Basically, was he ever in any real danger in Sweden, aside from becoming a convicted rapist?

  27. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Re: Another question...

    And there you have it. The entire "I'm sooooooooooooooooooo scared of the nasty US" sob story that some people have fallen for is a load of bollocks.

    Bear in mind that if he had been extradited from the UK to Sweden, he would have been protected from the further extradition to the US he so claims to fear by both Swedish *and* UK law. Double bubble.

  28. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Re: Another question...

    "Basically, was he ever in any real danger in Sweden, aside from becoming a convicted rapist?"

    Maybe the danger was conviction and then being deport back to Oz from where he very likely would be extradited if anybody could have been bothered. The other danger, of course, was that of being ignored as a no more that a nasty little sex offender.

  29. Chris King Silver badge

    Maybe they have a point ?

    Scrub the bog and scoop the litter tray - even most teenagers get the hang of both eventually, even if there is much wailing of "Awwwwwwww, mum !"

  30. Simon B-52

    Untoward galore

    I don't doubt that Mr Assange is someone I'd probably soon want to punch. Hard. Many times.

    But, to claim that there is "no suggestion of anything untoward happening in the Swedish case" is wilful ignorance of the first order.

  31. Christopher Aussant

    One thing in the comments stands out pretty stark to the rest.... He is only ACCUSED of rape. He has not been CONVICTED of this crime. Treating him as a dirty rapist who should be thrown in gen pop without a trial is supposed to be wrong? Innocent until proven guilty? Or do we just get to label people you don't like with a horrible crime without ya know, evidence, guilt, jury trial..... Be a whole lot more "rapists" out there if we can just slap that on people we don't like.

  32. This post has been deleted by its author

  33. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    I refer you to the point made just above by " Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?" (Really? Are El Reg user handles really getting that hard to find?)

    Assange was at large in Sweden, in public, after he pissed off the US. He *knows* the US could have asked for him then and didn't, so the onus is on him to explain why he is *now* in danger of being extradited.

    Meanwhile, he *has* been convicted of jumping bail (in the UK) and jumping the country (in Sweden), so we don't need to make any presumptions about the rape case before we can call him a fugitive from justice.

    And meanwhile meanwhile, in his position, if he was *genuinely* afraid of being extradited, he'd clean up his shit. He clearly isn't afraid. He clearly is avoiding court. Screw him.

  34. Stevie Silver badge

    Or do we just get to label people you don't like with a horrible crime

    I dunno.

    Let's ask Cliff Richard. Or Garrison Keillor.

  35. MrMerrymaker

    OK, if you were called a rapist by the press, and it wasn't true, would you

    A) prove it wrong and win, get damages, clear your name forever

    B) run away forever refusing to comment, living in a single room to escape the authorities?

    OUR JULES did the second.

    BTW, innocent til proven guilty is a legal element - er, he's actively trying to circumvent the law. So excuse us for having a court of public opinion.

  36. MrMerrymaker

    Re: Or do we just get to label people you don't like with a horrible crime

    Neither of those two became international fugitives to avoid clearing their name.

  37. Killing Time

    'Or do we just get to label people you don't like with a horrible crime without ya know, evidence, guilt, jury trial.....'

    Personally I was ambivalent to him and just had him down as a self important no mark who just virtue signalled while having little concern for the outcome of his 'words'. However, its crystal clear from his 'actions' he is deliberately evading 'evidence, guilt, jury trial.....'

    Now therefore, I really don't like him....

  38. veti Silver badge

    Nobody has convicted him of rape. True.

    But what I don't see is anybody suggesting that he should be jailed for that without a trial. If you have seen such a suggestion, could you point to it?

  39. The Oncoming Scorn
    Pint

    Really? Are El Reg user handles really getting that hard to find?

    You're new here arn't ya?

    I got rather tired of seeing my RL name in the comments, so I changed it (Annoyingly losing my recently acquired Bronze Commentard badge in the process).

  40. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    I refer you to the point made just above by " Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble?" (Really? Are El Reg user handles really getting that hard to find?)

    My real name is Gilbert, I just prefer it if people call me Ramases Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble.

  41. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Could be worse, you could have an obsession with toast.

  42. Rameses Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble? Silver badge

    @Aladdin Sane

    You should see my friends collection of singing potatoes!

  43. Wellyboot Silver badge

    Re: Really? Are El Reg user handles really getting that hard to find?

    Lost badge - Happy to help +1 :)

    anyone else in the whip-round?

  44. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Re: Really? Are El Reg user handles really getting that hard to find?

    I don't think whipping him is the answer.

  45. Stevie Silver badge

    Re: Neither of those two became international fugitives

    True, but Keillor immediately lost his entire revenue stream when the cowardly radio company he dragged up out of the mud and made a going concern suspended all his shows without him ever coming to trial even though he denied the allegations of improper touching of an adult. I haven't listened to a second of Minnesota Public Radio ever since and they'll never see another penny of my subscription dollars.

    I don't know how the media-fueled furor affected Cliff Richard, but I can guess it wasn't pleasant and I believe it was only the fact of his fame that he dragged himself clear of the baseless allegations of kiddie fiddling in the aftermath of the Jimmy Saville scandal.

    My point was not the scale of the alleged crime, it was the rush to judgement based solely on a perceived wrongdoing and personal dislike, and the aftermath.

  46. Stevie Silver badge

    My real name is Gilbert, I just prefer it if people call me

    And more power to you.

    I was recently forced to go to LBGTQI sensitivity training. The trainer spent a long time going over the importance of identifying people the way *they* wanted to be identified, and asked us to "go round the room" stating our preferred identification. Mine was "Jason Bourne".

    After endless lecturing by the trainer and help sheets that did more to alienate those already threatened by the whole idea (the materials were largely wikipedia articles on LGBTQI chat room terms and slang) he wound up by asking our opinions.

    I told him that I had found some of the material informative, most of it not, and pointed out that no-one, not even he the trainer, had once referred to me as "Jason Bourne" which sort of derailed the entire thing. He spluttered about jokes, but I said that if a client announced that he identified as James Bond I would be technically in breach of my terms of employment if I reacted the same way when he did so.

    So grab as many names as you want, Ramases Niblick the Third Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where's My Thribble. It's not as though there are operating systems out there that *don't* implement cut'n'paste semantics.

  47. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "Treating him as a dirty rapist who should be thrown in gen pop without a trial is supposed to be wrong?"

    Nobody's suggesting that. He should be sent back for trial. What happens after that depends on the outcome of the trial. Whilst not wanting to prejudge such trial one has to wonder if his leaving the country indicated his expectations of the likely outcome of the trial based on his own knowledge of his actions.

  48. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He is only ACCUSED of rape. He has not been CONVICTED of this crime. Treating him as a dirty rapist who should be thrown in gen pop without a trial is supposed to be wrong?

    Bzzt, wrong. People just want him to stand trial as anyone else would have to. His guilt in that matter is as yet not debated. That said, there is a curious asymmetry in your defence of St Jules here, in that you seem to pay zero attention to his victims (or alleged, for the moment) - they too have rights but have been as yet buried under a barrage of hate from Assange supporters.

    They too have a right for him to be in court.

  49. Marketing Hack Silver badge

    Is Julian's cat leaving little "presents" on the carpet in the Ecuadorian embassy?

    And what happens to Mittens if Julian is thrown in a British pokey??

  50. Chris King Silver badge

    Re: Is Julian's cat leaving little "presents" on the carpet in the Ecuadorian embassy?

    "And what happens to Mittens if Julian is thrown in a British pokey??"

    Mittens gets a new Forever Home and heaves a big sigh of relief ?

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