back to article On the first day of Christmas my true love gave me tea... pigs-in-blankets-flavoured tea

It's common knowledge that the British are a nation of tea drinkers but – yikes – Sainsbury's launch of pigs in blankets and Brussels sprout-flavoured teas ahead of the Christmas mania are a little beyond the pale brown water. Greggs_sausage_roll_manger Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said READ MORE The UK …

  1. BoldMan

    Re: Tea

    those who insist on drinking EG should be removed from the gene pool forthwith.

    FTFY

  2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
    Devil

    Re: Tea

    >It can only be drunk with milk (sugar optional) or, if you're European, lemon.

    Lemon tea is delicious, and I'll fight anyone who says different. Earl Grey should be drunk black, although I suppose Lady Grey is a thing, so maybe lemon can be allowed for that too.

    But in fact all tea should be drunk black. You completely bugger up something delicate and delicious like Darjeeling by dumping cow juice in it. I did used to take milk, so it's fine if you want it in a normal "breakfast tea" type of blend.

    But green tea is also nice, jasmine being even nicer. White tea on the other hand you can leave right out. I also like fruit teas, and I think variety in everything is fine, so long as nothing is allowed to crowd out the proper cuppa.

    However I think we should all form an alliance and destroy the poncy so-and-so's who drink hot water with nothing in it. I'm sure they're only doing it to show off, and should thus be roundly mocked, if not actually boiled alive and decanted into mugs - as a warning to numbskulls.

  3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Re: Tea

    However I think we should all form an alliance and destroy the poncy so-and-so's who drink hot water with nothing in it.

    I have a friend who drinks boiling water with milk in it!

  4. hplasm Silver badge
    Devil

    Re: Tea

    "I have a friend who drinks boiling water with milk in it!"

    See if he likes it with lemon...

  5. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Alien

    "Tea. Pigs-in-a-blanket flavored. Hot."

    I doubt Jean-Luc would approve...

  6. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

    Re: "Tea. Pigs-in-a-blanket flavored. Hot."

    Why not? He drinks the nancified Earl Grey stuff.

  7. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Re: "Tea. Pigs-in-a-blanket flavored. Hot."

    Earl Grey is lovely. Not for everyday perhaps, but lovely nonetheless. Shall we call it a part of a healthily balanced beverage diet.

  8. theastrodragon

    What's in a name?

    Will we have to rename the lovely veggies once we leave the EU?

  9. Rupert Fiennes

    Re: What's in a name?

    I think the idea is that when we leave the EU, we can call them whatever the hell we like :-)

  10. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    Re: What's in a name?

    I never saw a single Brussels sprout when I lived in Brussels. I don't remember them being on sale in the supermarkets, and they weren't on restaurant menus either. So I'm not if we haven't blamed them unfairly on the Belgians.

    Like what we call Danish pastries are actually called Viennese pastries in Denmark.

    Oh and the Belgians don't eat Belgian buns either, the bastards! I was rather disappointed when I couldn't find those in my extensive Brussels bakery research field trips. Though I did manage to find plenty of Danish pastries, cream things, chocolate other things and of course the lovely pain au chocolat that tempted me on my daily commute to the Metro station with on-platform bakery-access. That's a cruel (but delicious) trick to play on an early morning commuter's weakened willpower.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: What's in a name?

    I never saw a single Brussels sprout when I lived in Brussels.

    Interesting, in France they're called "choux de bruxelles" (Brussels cabbage) so there must be some link.

    Of course names do show old enmities/friendships. What the British call "taking French leave" (i.e. going AWOL) the French refer to as "filer a l'Anglaise" (sneaking off English-style).

  12. hplasm Silver badge
    Happy

    Re: What's in a name?

    Brexit Sprouts.

    Some like them, some don't...

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: What's in a name?

    Brexit Sprouts.

    Some like them, some don't...

    Done properly they can be excellent, but many people don't know how to do them, and others dislike them on principle without even trying them?

  14. JohnFen Silver badge

    Re: What's in a name?

    OK, I had to look up the etymology of "Brussles Sprouts". According to Wikipedia (I never said I spent a lot of time on this):

    "Although native to the Mediterranean region with other cabbage species, Brussels sprouts first appeared in northern Europe during the fifth century, later being cultivated in the 13th century near Brussels, from which they derived their name.[1][2] In common names and misspelling, they may also be called brussels sprouts, Brussel sprouts, or brussel sprouts."

  15. JimmyPage Silver badge
    Flame

    Maybe they could get the fucking basics right, first ?

    Before this wankfest of hipster shite, why not work on stocking your stores with the shit you are supposed to sell ? Because the past few months have seen us missing at least one if not two items that are on our list. Last weeks being "12 eggs". Oh, yes you had eggs in 6s. Eggs in all sorts of boxes. But 12 large eggs in one box ? May as well have asked for an elephant ear in a bun.

    (We just happen to use Sainsburys, as trialling Tesco, Morrisons, and Waitrose demonstrated you can't get a rizla paper between them for anything.)

  16. Captain Hogwash

    Re: can't get a rizla paper between them

    Really? I don't know much about Morrisons, but Tesco & Waitrose? You must be as rich as Croesus.

  17. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Re: JimmyPage

    "Last weeks being "12 eggs". Oh, yes you had eggs in 6s. Eggs in all sorts of boxes. But 12 large eggs in one box ?"

    Just checking...You do realise you could just buy two boxes of 6? Hey presto! 12 eggs!

  18. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Re: Maybe they could get the fucking basics right, first ?

    Eggs in boxes of 12 I can cope with, although nature intended them to come in sixes.

    But which satanic marketing firm decided that 15 was an acceptable number of eggs in a box?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: You do realise you could just buy two boxes of 6?

    For the same price as a box of 12 ?

    No. You have to pay extra for the privilege.

  20. Captain Hogwash

    Re: can't get a rizla paper between them

    Well I don't know what the downvotes are about, but where I live Tesco is a lot cheaper than Waitrose.

  21. Tigra 07 Silver badge
    Trollface

    Re: JimmyPage

    I'm frequently discriminating against in shops as no one sells a carton of exactly 11 eggs...

  22. Aristotles slow and dimwitted horse Silver badge

    Christmas...

    Christmas. I don't like Christmas. I do enjoy the time off though and thank the Pagans for the nice midwinter holiday. Anything that can be done to parody the Christians at their most hallowed time of year should be done - and hats off to Greggs for the laughs.

    Anyway, I love Pigs in Blankets - but draw the line at the Xmas tree flavoured crisps on sale at Iceland (Bejams to the over 40's contingent).

  23. Pedigree-Pete Bronze badge
    Facepalm

    Re: Pigs in Blankets....????

    WTF... they were and still are called Kilted Sausages. PP

  24. Steve Button

    It's fucking October ffs

    I mean seriously sainsbury's give it a rest.

  25. tiggity Silver badge

    sprout lovers or haters

    .. might be beyond your control

    https://www.theguardian.com/science/blog/2011/nov/01/brussel-sprout-gene

    I can even taste PTC from when OH steams brassica with other vegetable in same steamer (even if in different steamer modules) and the other veg is thus contaminated with brassica chemicals.

    It can affect other things such as wine preferences too.

    Though just because you can taste the bitterness, does not necessarily mean you will hate sprouts etc. (though I do!)

  26. Anonymous IV
    Thumb Down

    Pine-ing for the fjords...

    Iceland is selling "pigs in blankets"-flavoured crisps - and also "Christmas tree" flavour!

    How do they taste? Not too unpleasant, and unutterably disgusting, in that order.

  27. Captain Hogwash

    Re: Christmas tree ... unutterably disgusting

    I agree. The Toilet Duck flavour is much better.

  28. 's water music Silver badge

    Re: Christmas tree ... unutterably disgusting

    I agree. The Toilet Duck flavour is much better.

    meh. wake me up when they have toilet duck flavour tide pods

  29. IsJustabloke Silver badge
    Trollface

    Sprouts Are little green globes of gorgeousness!

    They also make excellent substitutes for Ferraro Roche chocolates when wrapped in the carefully removed wrappers from actual Ferraro Roche choccies and given out on Halloween :)

    I find the parents think it's hilarious, the kids not so much but there's nothing in the rules that says my "treats" can't also be "tricks"

  30. Martin an gof Silver badge

    Re: Sprouts Are little green globes of gorgeousness!

    excellent substitutes for Ferraro Roche chocolates

    Boss at a previous job had a particular fondness for removing the paper lid and confetti from party poppers, then jamming a sprout in and firing it across the room at work Christmas parties. Priceless.

    M.

  31. pdebarra

    You are obviously not including Ireland in "the British Isles", which is of course correct. We don't know here what pigs in blankets are. I knew because it came up in a table quiz once, but then I forgot. Now, I'll remember again. For a while.

  32. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    You can fix that by making them a staple of your diet for the next six months.

  33. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

    pdebarra,

    I'm sorry to hear of your loss. Please start a campaign to re-educate your countrymen immediately. The bacon-wrapped sausage is a thing of piggy beauty, and should be treasured by all. Admittedly it's not the healthiest foodstuff, but then I believe you guys eat white pudding, so I'm sure that shouldn't be a problem.

  34. This post has been deleted by its author

  35. Joe W

    T-bone-tea

    "tea bags" filled with ground and dried meat and some dried veggies, they make a nice broth! Throw in some penne or farfalle.

  36. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Re: T-bone-tea

    Surely that's a cup-a-soup?

  37. Dazed and Confused Silver badge
    Flame

    Re: which is vegan, don't you know?

    Yes, we can just see little Timmy's eyes light up at the thought of slurping down a nice hot cup of meat-flavoured liquid (which is vegan, don't you know?)

    I call cultural appropriation!

    I've no problem with people deciding to be vegan, but if they want to be vegan they shouldn't be allowed to enjoy the flavours belonging to meat eaters.

  38. JohnFen Silver badge

    Failed my endurance test

    "Kids hate them, adults learn to endure them "

    I'm reasonably sure that I'm an adult, but I've never learned to endure those nasty, bitter little lumps of hatred.

  39. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Failed my endurance test

    > "I'm reasonably sure that I'm an adult, but I've never learned to endure those nasty, bitter little lumps of hatred."

    I quite understand your sentiments about the kids, but aren't sprouts delicious?

  40. hplasm Silver badge
    Happy

    Re: Failed my endurance test

    "Kids hate them, adults learn to endure them "

    Kids call them things like King Kong's Snotballs...

    just sayin'

  41. Noonoot

    Are Brits that gullible?

    That really is taking the biscuit.

  42. Noonoot

    Isn't this just another name for Bovril?

    Who still drinks that stuff?

  43. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    Re: Isn't this just another name for Bovril?

    Bovril is delicious on toast.

  44. Juan Inamillion

    Potatoes

    A bit off topic but...

    Many years ago when I was a roadie it took a while before catering was brought along on a tour. 'Food' on the road was usually at the behest - or mercy- of the promoter and usually consisted of pizzas and cheap beer. Early tour catering companies were often chancers who lacked some of the necessary cooking skills, which often led to some confrontations and redecorated kitchen areas..

    We reckoned one such nameless company should have had as a moto 'If it can't be made with potatoes, it can't be made at all', such were their limits. The same company carried pallet loads of baked beans when touring Europe too...

    Brussel sprouts would have been a luxury.

    And celery is most definitely Satan's food of choice.

  45. Spanners Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Norwegian Style

    My late brother in law used to tell of how the "chef" on a Norwegian ship he worked on used to deep fry them!

    Makes the southern English habit of boiling them for a week sound healthy...

  46. Tom 35 Silver badge

    I can see one purpose

    If there is someone at the office that keeps stealing your tea.

  47. jimbo60

    Good sprouts

    Forget boiling. Baking / blackened is great. Here is one approach:

    Cubed butternut squash, sliced red onion, sprouts cut in half (preferably smaller ones). Oil a baking pan, spread the above on the pan, season with salt and generous amounts of garlic powder, and bake in the oven at baking temp (350F in the US). Stir and turn occasionally. Done in about 45 minutes, or whenever the sprouts are cooked through, preferably with some nice blackened crispy edges. Bonus points if you can find some specialty butternut squash oil to sprinkle on everything.

    Three of us consumed an entire pan of that along with some pan seared salmon the other day. Yum.

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018