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back to article Space, the final Trump-tier: America to beam up $8bn for Space Force

Mike Pence, the Vice President of the United States, on Thursday formally announced that his administration hopes to bankroll, no, not universal healthcare for all Americans. Not better support for armed forces veterans. Not improved public education. No, here in the Land of the Free, we're getting a space force by 2020. It …

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      1. Sanguma
        Reply Icon

        #covfefe

        Apparently covfefe refers to a special White House version of civet coffee - Melania Trump locks The Donald in a cage and feeds him green coffee berries, and takes his excrement and roasts and grinds it and lo and behold, you have covfefe, with the 'v' referring to the fact it's civet-style coffee.

        At least he's useful for something!

        4 0 Reply
  2. Maelstorm Bronze badge
    Trollface

    With this news, we will soon see Winnebagos flying around in space.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9QhUoOwHN8

    5 0 Reply
  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Launch Trump

    The first thing they should do is launch Trump and Pence into space with no return ticket.

    24 1 Reply
    1. Tom Servo
      Reply Icon

      Re: Launch Trump

      I'll send them cheesy movies, the worst I can find.

      (la la la)

      14 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
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        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Launch Trump

        I was wondering how they would persuade them to board the spaceship.

        Of course, for Pence, all they need to do is put a "Do not enter" sign on the capsule door.

        28 1 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      The first thing they should do is launch Trump and Pence

      "B Ark", anyone?

      24 1 Reply
    3. Sanguma
      Reply Icon

      Re: Launch Trump

      Gotta make it coal-fired, of course ...

      4 0 Reply
  4. FrankAlphaXII

    Like hell

    The JCS has been dead set against a sixth branch for a very long time. They wouldn't allow NSA to do it in the 1950's, they wouldn't allow JSOC or SOCOM to do the same in the 80's, and they're not going to allow it now. In fact the only reason the Air Force got split from the Army was because Spaatz and Arnold had a lot of pull with Truman and the congress and it was proven during WWII that the Army Air Forces could handle themselves.

    I can't picture the Air Force, Army and Navy being too thrilled about having their budgets cut for a branch that isn't needed being proposed by a fucking traitor doing Russia's bidding, and losing control of their space and missile programs in the process. The Navy certainly won't go for it and neither will the Air Force. There's only one reason that Putin wants this, and is having his useful idiot push it, because it will dilute the effectiveness of the Armed Forces. What they should do is reactivate US Space Command, that would make sense. But creating an entirely new Service Branch is typical Trumpian idiocy.

    There's precious little danger of this ever happening though, as the JCS and individual services will "study" the proposal and hamstring it as far as they possibly can, and they certainly can for two years until the moron's out of office.

    30 2 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      "Budgets cut" ???

      You obviously aren't familiar with how the DoD budgeting process goes. They will get $8 billion extra. In fact, they'll probably get $18 billion extra, with the excess $10 billion distributed to the other branches to soothe any hurt feelings.

      Then they'll ask for $50 billion to build the Hexagon, because clearly six branches don't fit in the Pentagon... BTW, I got that price by taking the $5 billion Apple's spaceship reportedly cost, and then multiplying by 10 as per standard defense contracting procedure.

      26 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Like hell

      the JCS and individual services will "study" the proposal and hamstring it as far as they possibly can, and they certainly can for two years until the moron's out of office.

      Your making a big assumption there, that the JCS only need to hold out for a couple of years. The received wisdom all along was that Trump wouldn't win, but he did. Now the assumption is that he'll not get re-elected. All I can say is don't bet to much money on the outcome.

      And that's because in two years time you've got the same problem we have in the UK (albeit of differing nuances), and that is the absence of any electable, competent alternative, despite suffering an unpopular government of staggering ineptitude, whose senior leadership are some of the most dislikeable, unconvincing bunglers ever to have held government office.

      14 1 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Like hell

        "The received wisdom all along was that Trump wouldn't win, but he did. Now the assumption is that he'll not get re-elected."

        Who knows. Statistically the only presidents since WW2 who served a full term and during their time in office never had a lower net approval rating lower than Trump currently has were Eisenhower, and surprisingly Clinton. [Note - Kennedy and Ford never had as low a net approval as Trump has now but neither served a full term in office.]

        1 0 Reply
  5. John70
    Alien

    A couple of things

    1. Wonder if they will evetnually bring Solar Warden under Space Force and eventually rename themselves as Starfleet.

    2. Is this a way of slowly bringing in alien technology into the mainstream like technology to reduce drag on commercial aircraft to anti-gravity and flying saucers?

    3. Will Trump tell the world E.T. aliens exist and not just his in-laws who are now US citizens.

    14 1 Reply
  6. Mephistro
    Facepalm

    “artificial-intelligence-enabled global surveillance” for missile targeting and tracking

    Someone should inform these muppets of that "minor incident"* where errors/design blunders in automated systems almost caused a nuclear war, where it not for the intervention of humans. AIs are just a kind of automated systems we can't fully understand or debug. What could possibly go wrong?

    *note: Actually, one of many such incidents.

    16 1 Reply
  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well I certainly wouldn't want to be the leader of the space force when the aliens arrive. First to get probed.

    11 0 Reply
    1. Rich 11
      Reply Icon

      First to get probed.

      We could save them the trouble and just tell them that of course he's full of shit.

      8 0 Reply
  8. Jemma

    I said it before, and hoped I'd never have to say it again..

    Does it not worry other people that if aliens do choose to visit this backend of the galaxy - that they are even more likely to meet Donnie Dickwit as the representative of the entire earth?

    What are they going to use? Reconditioned space shuttles with go faster stripes and nuclear tipped sidewinders?

    Heaven forfend one of the alien commanders decides to defect.. You can just imagine *that* conversation.

    Captain: "Hjilub isn't the worry, neither is the entire navy. I know their tactics, I have the advantage. No, the problem is the Americans - we meet the right sort, this will work. We get some buckaroo...

    XO: "So basically sir, we're fscked..."

    Captain: "We're fscked"

    Honestly - could the Dickwit Whitehouse get any stupider? I'm expecting the "rubber rings and armbands initiative" for sea mammals any minute now (they might get tired and they can't breathe under water..)

    And honourable mention to Inner Space and another classic..

    Trump: "The Donnie Dickwit machine, zero defects..."

    Everyone else: "Oh shit, there goes the planet..."

    14 2 Reply
  9. Spanners Silver badge
    Alien

    The US has a superfluous force anyway

    How on earth does the USA still manage to have their marines itemised as a separate branch of their armed forces?

    What colour/style of uniforms for a Space Force? There seemed to be some ideas in the Film Starship Troopers. Some of those would be suitable for Trump although I am not sure I like the idea of the US military with powered exoskeletons!

    1 3 Reply
    1. imanidiot Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

      Same as many other countries who have a separate marine/naval infantry branch

      3 1 Reply
      1. Spanners Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Pirate

        Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

        Same as many other countries who have a separate marine/naval infantry branch

        As far as I know, the Royal Marines were regulated by the Admiralty even though they follow the army rank system. I understand the French do something similar

        The US Marines seem to be a complete, standalone, system. Most armed forces have some aspects of other branches. The Royal Air Force has the RAF Regiment amd I knew someone who worked on their fast boats. I spent some time with inantry assault boats and vehicle ferries (think pontoon bridges with 4 outboard motors). None of those are separate parts of the armed forces. Why are US naval ground forces not US navy?

        2 0 Reply
        1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

          Bureaucratic inertia and sheer size I think. Most countries that have Marines tend not to have very many of them. From memory the UK only has 3 active battalions, and a much larger army. But if you look at US history - they've gone through large chunks of it with a tiny standing army which often wasn't that much bigger than the Marines. Also the Marines were getting regular combat and the army wasn't. Don't the US Marines still have something like 3 divisions? There's an awful lot of the buggers...

          Even when you get to post WWII history (when the US army got big and stayed big), there weren't that many of them in the US. They were mostly deployed to Germany and Korea. Apart from light/airborne units, most formations back in the US were mostly incomplete and needed to be reinforced by the National Guard to be deployable. Those were the guys to go to Europe if WWIII kicked off, but the regulars based in Germany (along with the Germans, UK and maybe French) would have to hold the Soviets up long enough for them to actually get there.

          So it's mostly been true up to the end of the Cold War, that if the US wanted to deploy a division of troops right now, it had to be the Marines.

          They're called a separate service, but do come under The Office of the Navy in the Department of Defense. But historically they've been as important as the army for a lot of the time. In the Pacific in WWII they even split it into two theatres, with MacArthur and the Army running the battle in the South from Australia - and the Navy and Marines doing the rest.

          6 0 Reply
        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

          "Why are US naval ground forces not US navy?"

          In terms of the TV series NCIS, marines and sailors both come under their jurisdiction.

          (Sorry, that pretty much exhausts my knowledge of the US military)

          0 0 Reply
        3. Jaybus
          Reply Icon

          Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

          "Why are US naval ground forces not US navy?"

          They are. You just aren't considering enough layers of bureaucracy. The US Marines have been a component of the US Department of the Navy since the 18th century and still are. Yet, they are a separate branch of the Department of Defense.

          1 0 Reply
    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: I am not sure I like the idea of the US military with powered exoskeletons!

      They're already working on that, so prepare to be dismayed.

      4 0 Reply
    3. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: The US has a superfluous force anyway

      The US have a Marine Corps because the Army and Navy can't seem to cooperate. And the Marines have their own air power because the US Airforce can't even cooperate with the Army, let alone the Marines.

      But then that's OK, because in the US the Marines and the Navy don't cooperate either...

      12 0 Reply
  10. Tigra 07
    Alien

    This actually seems like a common sense idea. Especially since China and the Russians already have space forces of their own (even if just in name).

    4 14 Reply
    1. Tigra 07
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      Oops. Forget that anything Trump does must automatically be bad and i'll be downvoted for forgetting that... *cough* Biased whiney babies *cough*

      4 15 Reply
      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        It's not that it must be bad, it's just that, in the vast majority of cases, it objectively is.

        17 2 Reply
      2. hplasm
        Reply Icon
        Meh

        Biased whiney babies -

        Should not be in positions of power.

        14 2 Reply
  11. Mog_X

    Space Marines?

    The Emperor Protects!

    11 0 Reply
  12. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Trollface

    This sad and ancient religion: Veep Vader cargocults!

    space development

    I'm sure lawyers will lobby for "eminent domain" legislation soon.

    In the meantime, due to the neverending aggravated/crippling/debilitating/asscracking sanctions, Russia is mulling "no more rocket engines for you": https://www.rt.com/business/435560-russia-retaliate-sanctions-rocket-engines/

    5 0 Reply
  13. Potemkine! Silver badge

    It's amazing how States always lack money to help their population through Healthcare or Education but always find resources for their Armies.

    32 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      Not as many kick backs from healthcare and education plus it's better if the poor die young and dumb, less chance of them realising what's actually going on.

      16 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      --- It's amazing how States always lack money to help their population through Healthcare or Education but always find resources for their Armies. --- anonymous cowards cannae do html, captain!

      And here I thought it is an African thing - keep your population as backward as possible, throw every hindrance into homeschooling and promote your army, police and other armed forces as needed.

      11 0 Reply
      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        And here I thought it is an African thing

        And where do you think they learned it from ?

        9 0 Reply
  14. smudge

    What are the five existing armed forces?

    ...the proposed organization would be the sixth branch of the armed forces, sitting alongside the Army, Navy, Air Force, and so on.

    So you don't know either! The first three cover land, sea and air. I can't see that there's much else. Do you have Military Moles? Teleportation Troops? Men Who Stare At Goats?

    5 1 Reply
    1. Blake St. Claire
      Reply Icon

      Re: What are the five existing armed forces?

      LMGTFY:

      Army

      Navy

      Air Force

      Marines

      Coast Guard

      Space Force uniform should be an orange jumpsuit. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have Twitler model it for us in Leavenworth.

      Twitler announced the first mission will be to the Sun. Asked whether it wouldn't be too hot, he said they'll go at night. Sarah Sanders later said that claims the Sun is hot are Fake News.

      24 1 Reply
      1. DavCrav
        Reply Icon

        Re: What are the five existing armed forces?

        I can only assume that the Marines and Coast Guard are separate because nobody could decide if they were land or sea, so belonged to the Army or Navy.

        "Where should we put the Coast Guard? Army or Navy?"

        "Are they guarding the coast from the land or from the sea?"

        "I guess both."

        "Erm... Can we make it a separate branch?"

        8 0 Reply
    2. Nick Kew
      Reply Icon

      Re: What are the five existing armed forces?

      Wot, no cyberforce heading among them? What are those folks at NSA? And come to that, also CIA?

      And will they now have to replace the Pentagon with a Hexagon?

      4 0 Reply
  15. Cuddles

    Which raises the question

    "The first American rockets in space were launched by our military. The first American satellites to orbit the Earth were on reconnaissance missions behind the Iron Curtain. The first Americans to step forward and venture into the unknown were the world’s greatest aviators and test pilots from the Navy, Air Force and the Marines."

    If all that was possible anyway, what exactly is the need for a new department with a stupid name and a shitty clipart logo?

    7 1 Reply
    1. Nick Kew
      Reply Icon

      Re: Which raises the question

      That's easy. A formal launch now becomes a legacy for the people currently in charge. Consider Hollywood blockbusters of a generation or two hence:

      Thanks to the Space Force, founded by Trump, we have space dominance.

      8 0 Reply
    2. Flocke Kroes Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: what exactly is the need for a new department

      The traditional reason for having separate armed services is to ensure they bicker among themselves instead of deposing the King/government. If the army is looking a bit rebellious you can have the air force drop bombs on them. If the air force is a problem you can send in the army to capture air bases.

      A space force that controls reconnaissance, communications and GPS satellites could wreak havoc by sending fake news from these sources. In this case I think it is just a distraction to keep other self inflicted embarrassments out of the news and comes with a big pork bonus.

      10 0 Reply
    3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Which raises the question

      The first American rockets in space were launched by our Hitler's military

      17 0 Reply
    4. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Which raises the question

      "the world’s greatest aviators and test pilots from the Navy, Air Force and the Marines."

      Worlds greatest? It could be argued that the worlds greatest aviator was our own Eric Brown, RN, RiP.

      10 0 Reply
      1. Aladdin Sane
        Reply Icon

        Re: Which raises the question

        The greatest American test pilot was excluded from their space program for being under qualified.

        0 0 Reply
  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's really a cunning plot

    If the Space Force discovers alien life, Trump will be first in line to stick his dick in one of them. Then he'll want to build a wall to keep them out of the solar system.

    6 1 Reply
  17. 89724102172714182892114I7551670349743096734346773478647892349863592355648544996312855148587659264921

    Yes, that's all very well but where are all the giant shark robot shaped spaceships with asteroid vapouring frickin laser beams?

    4 0 Reply
  18. John G Imrie

    Republican Space Rangers

    Why do I keep thinking of this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZuZShxJq8M

    4 0 Reply
  19. MJI Silver badge

    Trump is an alien

    And he rides around on the top of a bald old animated corpse

    11 1 Reply
  20. hammarbtyp

    A $8 billion bargain

    ... as long as the commander in chief is made to go 1st

    5 1 Reply
  21. Anonymous Coward
    Alien

    I don't see why you guys are so dubious about this....

    Hey, someone needs to build the Millenium Falcon before it can eventually be won by Han Solo in that card game!

    5 0 Reply

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