back to article Clarkson: 'I WILL find and KILL the spammers who hacked me'

Motormouth Top Gear star Jeremy Clarkson has joked he will kill the spammers who took his Twitter account on a joyride to tout dodgy diet pills. Several tweets appeared on his feed promoting miracle weight-loss medicine. But the stunt may backfire on the Twitter-jackers: rather than delete the spam and reset his password, …

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Re: OK by me

'Janet Jackson, in the Reliant Stadium, with a wardrobe malfunction.'

Colonel Mustard in the Library with the lead pipe.

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Re: OK by me

Jeremy Clarkson in the Volvo with the ...

Hell it's a Volvo you don't need anything else.

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Re: OK by me

funny enough, i remember thinking at the time of said wardrobe malfunction 'she'll have someones eye out with that, given time'

tho not really leathal, it would sting a lot

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Anonymous Coward

I can pretty much guarantee you he hasn't been hacked. More rather he'd have authenticated some Twitter app/site to post on his behalf at some point. Easily done. You need to keep on top of what you've authenticated with your Twitter credentials.

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Paris Hilton

P O W E R ! ! ! ! !

<---<<< and why haven't they had Paris on Top Gear yet

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Anonymous Coward

Because it would be like interviewing a balloon. It wouldn't exactly make the best television.

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Flame

They probably don't want to have to replace the seats in the C'eed after she's sat on them.

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Megaphone

Good Question Velv!

Those size 42's planted on the loud pedal combined with whatever is (or isn't) in her head might make for compelling viewing!

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Mushroom

Burn him!

It's that time of the year when Top Gear is on, and the Anti-Clarkson Daily Mail reader brigade comes out to partake in their annual drive to make the World a Better Place®

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Re: Burn him!

Frankly, I would have him shot. I would have him taken outside and executed in front of his family.

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Re: Burn him!

Anti-Clarkson Daily Mail reader brigade comes out to partake in their annual drive to make the World a Better Place®

Maybe they could start with the twitter hackers first...they are *genuinely* annoying. At least with Clarkson you can *choose* to watch/read his dribblings or not (which are sometimes quite funny and/or accurate).

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@Mike G Re: Burn him!

Yes, but what do you really think?

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I think I recognise the quote.

It was union workers on strike that time, I think. I forget who, teachers? nurses?

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Happy

Re: Burn him!

"Frankly, I would have him shot. I would have him taken outside and executed in front of his family."

You could fill a book with some of Clarkson's more provocative prose.

In fact I think he has filled several.....

Modestly priced and available through Amazon I believe.

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Mushroom

Re: Burn him!

Before, after, or during the burning?

All three sounds good to me, just make sure the bullet wounds aren't fatal.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Burn him!

I do wonder what he could have done to deserve people wanting to shoot and burn him. Some people like him, some dislike him, some accept his sense of humour.

As extreme as some people see him it is not as extreme as some of the suggestions for dealing with him.

Sounds like a funny post on twitter. Good on him

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Joke

Re: Burn him!

And i hope ALL his kids go blind in ALL their eyes...

only joking....

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Quite frankly...

I hope he does.

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Stop

Surely even the most ardent hater of Mr Clarkson....

can see he's clearly taking the piss here. The Taken quote for starters.

I would not put him in the same Luddite boat as Mr Fry in relation to his understanding of tech

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Re: Surely even the most ardent hater of Mr Clarkson....

Orly?

I reckon Klaxons luddism makes Fry look like Isambard Kingdom bleedin Brunel

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spam...

...it's the most annoying thing....IN THE WORLD!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: spam...

But is quite yummy in sandwiches :)

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Go

Re: spam...

Some say he was once a black hat but died and reincarnated as a white hat.

Others have comments on his mask wearing and anonymity

but all we know is, hes called the Stig.

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Happy

Re: spam... @Jim Booth

It is also great on English Muffins baked with cheese! Goes well with scrambled eggs too.

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Stop

Oh Good Grief...

I can't believe that I'm doing this...

It's Jeremy Clarkson boys and girls! Do you really think for a fraction of a nanosecond that he was being at all serious? As someone has already pointed out, he was paraphrasing Liam Neeson's character in Taken. Even though I haven't seen the film or know much about it, I still got the reference and was pretty sure that he was most likely just making bit of a joke of the whole thing.

And as for the bank thing, well he actually had a bit of a point there if you ask me. Simply publishing his bank details should NOT have allowed anyone to set up a direct debit or perform any other kind of transaction, other than paying in. Either the charity itself or Clarkson's bank seriously dropped the ball on that one I think. Certainly if any of the banks that I use had allowed a direct debit to be set up (or any other withdrawal to take place) without my signature or some other formal confirmation of my identity and wishes, I would have been down the branch straight away tearing the manager a new one.

So, yeah, it's Clarkson. He's a bit of a gobsh!te, plays up his anti-environment, right-of-centre persona to the hilt and is a popular target for the PC, right-on and left-of-centre brigades - many of whom seem to get themselves rather hot under the collar by taking him far too seriously and literally.

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Trollface

In other words

YHBT.

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Re: Oh Good Grief...

You might want to read up about paperless direct debits. They can only be in favour of payees who have jumped through the relevant hoops (such as large charities, for example), so Joe Public can't directly empty your bank account into theirs, but there isn't much to prevent a third party setting up a direct debit from your account to, say, a charity (which is what happened in this case) without a signature or other ID. You still of course have the benefit of the direct debit guarantee should you spot the problem and wish to reverse the transaction.

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Devil

Re: Oh Good Grief...

"So, yeah, it's Clarkson. He's a bit of a gobsh!te, plays up his anti-environment, right-of-centre persona to the hilt and is a popular target for the PC, right-on and left-of-centre brigades - many of whom seem to get themselves rather hot under the collar by taking him far too seriously and literally."

That doesn't bother me.

His standing invite to the Rupert Murdoch party makes me.

It suggests the amiable old misogynist buffoon is merely the surface veneer for someone much nastier.

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Paperless DD

Actually, I don't need to read up about paperless DD, being familiar with the process and having set up a fair few myself over the last couple of years. However, in every case where I have set up such a DD, the organization originating the request has gone to reasonable lengths to confirm that I was, indeed, who I claimed to be and was permitted to do what I was doing. Also, in each case, my bank contacted me to confirm the details once the DD instruction was set up but before any funds were allowed to be taken. So I'm afraid that in my book someone on the charity side or the bank side still dropped the ball on the Clarkson charity DD thing and should have had an ear-bending for it. Either that or he needs to get himself a better bank.

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MJI
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Re: Oh Good Grief...

So anti environment, he has land set aside for wildlife

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Facepalm

Internet tough guy syndrome anyone?

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He generally says

What most of us think and would love to say. Even if it isn't politically correct, but who cares about that anyway.

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Joke

What if they found him first?

:-O Would be absolutely tragic, given his hypocritical remarks regarding civil servants?

Dontch'ya think?

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'Hacked'?

More likely he used a weak password. These days 'I've been hacked' is used in the same way that 'I had the flu' is used after a day off work.

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FAIL

"More likely he used a weak password."

Much like Burger King's whopper of a mistake (pardon the pun) of using the classic of 'whopper123' on the Twitter feed...

--Epic fail - for BK's password.

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I have to wonder...

If anyone shouting for Clarkson to be burned at the stake actually read the entire message?

"I will visit them".

Sounds like he'll take James May with them and have him bore them to death by torqueing. Or something.

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Im sure Mr Clarkson will step forward and answer a charge of threatening behaviour etc if the victims are willing to step forward and identify themselves.

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Anonymous Coward

"Im sure Mr Clarkson will step forward and answer a charge of threatening behaviour etc if the victims are willing to step forward and identify themselves."

in person. Face to face to the person whose account they abused. Not "hacked" if they just guessed his password. Only very lazy journos and celebs could possibly say guessing "secret" is hacking, same as only amazingly silly don't change their voicemail PINs from defaults and then say they've been hacked when someone guesses 1234 might be the lucky number. People like that should join the idiots collective over at hacked off.

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Angel

Time for copypasta

"What the f*ck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the f*ck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my f*cking words. You think you can get away with saying that sh*t to me over the Internet? Think again, f*cker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little sh"t. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your f*cking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will sh*t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo."

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Re: Time for copypasta

"gorilla warfare"

I was trained in that to a silverback level by Diane Fossey. I still have the banana scars.

Or did you (or whoever you quoted that from) mean guerrilla?

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Re: Time for copypasta

I haven't seen a flame that good in quite a while!

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Re: Time for copypasta

Nice one!

Does anyone else think it sounds a bit like a cross between the heroic Gordon Brown and spaced-out Charlie Sheen?

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Jeremy Clarkson's twitter account has been subverted.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

That is all.

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Mushroom

Yebbut...

Clarkson's a bombast. Gillan's a redhead. I know who I'd back...well, in either sense really...

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Re: Yebbut...

Gillan, for the good points on her front side... ;-)

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Village

missing idiot

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If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

'Former Dr Who actress Karen Gillan, who played Amy Pond in the series, was stung by a similar diet-pushing spambot. She did not respond to the intrusion with threats on the lives of the perpetrators.'

I'd rather it was the lovely Ms. Gillan and not Jeremy Clarkson. It'd have more of an Emma Peel vibe to it that way.

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Unhappy

Re: If I was going to be hunted down by a celebrity assassin

"'Former Dr Who actress Karen Gillan, who played Amy Pond in the series, was stung by a similar diet-pushing spambot. She did not respond to the intrusion with threats on the lives of the perpetrators."

Beware angry ginger women.

They are not to be trifled with.

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