Hero Playmonaut lost at sea as SPEARS ditches in Channel

Much akin to the Liberty Bell 7 Im sure history may discover your craft and bring it back to a warm welcome.Though you might think about following the Star Wars theme with this and cloning the next legonaught just in case

Bah!

You mean you killed a playmobil man in this ill-advised so-called experiment and didn't even have the decency to give him a NAME?

I notice that all the people bravely keeping both feet on the ground have friendly monikers like "Dave". Only those of limited limb articulation are required to give of their all anonymously.

For shame El Reg, for shame.

Ode To The Playmonaut

One bitter morn' he set off for the skies,

The playmonauts trip planned out by the wise.

High into the air he rode his balloon,

praying the planner was not a baffoon.

Higher and higher he continued to soar,

The wind rushing by with a deafening roar.

At just the right time the balloon gave a bang,

so loud was the noise, our hero's ears rang.

As he stopped rising up and started to stall,

The parachute opened and eased up his fall.

Quickly he realised that things were not right,

The wind suddenly changed and hastened his plight.

He dropped Lower and lower as he flew futher South,

He thought of his planner with his hand over mouth.

As the coastline approached he knew it was trouble,

The speed of his plastic heart started to double.

He looked to the East and in the distance saw Brighton,

But he knew as he passed he couldn't stop fightin'.

He went further and further out over the Channel,

Wishing he packed up some soap and a flannel.

There was nothing he could do now but sit there and wait,

And as the water got closer he pondered his fate.

After what seemed like an age he finally splashed down,

And as he floated along he prayed not to drown.

Meanwhile back on the coast of old Blighty,

The panic to save him was rushed and quite mighty.

In the search for a boat Playmonauts team ran to and fro,

When finally they found the good ship Even-Flow.

They sped to the spot they last logged his flight,

Hoping their hero would be quite alright.

On the sides of the boat they were staunchly perched,

Long into the evening they searched and they searched.

No sign of their friend could any man find,

This would be a day when the gods were not kind.

Sadly they left and returned to the dock,

The pub was awaiting and to there they would flock.

They all raised their glasses to their friend lost at sea,

And then they all toasted his replacement to be.

Back in the dark as our hero looked on,

He watched the boat search and then it was gone.

He knew on this night he was now on his own,

So decided to fight on instead of just moan.

He paddled so hard his arms started to ache,

But more and more progress he started to make.

As the dawn sun came up he gave a quick glance,

In the distance was land and he knew it was France.

with safety in sight he knew he had to give more,

So with new vigour he swam ever harder to shore.

With one more big push the dry land was in reach,

so exhausted he pulled himself onto the beach.

As he lay on his back and looked up at the sun,

he sighed and he smiled as he knew he had won.

And so ends our story of a hero so bright,

Who proves it pays never to give up the fight.

LOHAN's MUFF

Clearly what's needed next time is some added MUFF - Moulded Urethane Foam Floats - to help keep LOHAN on the surface in the event of a future splashdown.

> This operation is perfectly safe, although for some reason Dave decided that it would be better to photograph the action while walking backwards from the potential blast zone:

And then Dave narrowly avoids tripping over the gas cylinder lying behind him, but stands on one of the gauges, snapping it off, and gives himself nasty frost-bite on the ankle in the ensuing rapid depressurisation.

(Be thankful there's no naked flames around).