Uwe Boll, directing his first musical comedy - Pearl Harbor 2
After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Travis Taggart (Steven Seagal) - a former secret agent (they didn't have Navy SEALs pre-WW2) who had retired to Hawaii to surf and practice Zen meditation - realizes he must finally avenge the murder of his Japanese fiance Miku (Paris Hilton with dyed black hair) and his near death at the hands of Miku's father Admiral Yamamoto (played by Jackie Chan), who had been "dishonored" by their interracial relationship.
He commandeers his friend Abraham Lincoln Johnson's (Chris Tucker with a slight Jamaican accent) hot-rodded fishing boat to give chase to Admiral Yamamoto and the Japanese fleet... but Abraham Lincoln Johnson is not the type of guy to let his friend - or his boat - go into danger alone and joins up with Taggart (Seagal) making an unlikely team... the straight faced Taggart and the "jive-talkin" Abraham Lincoln Johnson. Hilarity - and singing - ensues.
Through his fierce reputation and years of secret service for the US government, Taggart is informed by no less than the President of the United States (played by George W. Bush) that Admiral Yamamoto's battleship had split off from the fleet heading East. Even with their hot-rodded fishing boat, they don't catch up with Yamamoto until just outside of San Francisco.
Under cover of darkness, they sneak on board the Japanese ship only to find it almost completely abandoned with just a skeleton crew. In the fight with the crew Abraham Lincoln Johnson is injured - leaving Taggart to go it alone. After making his way to the helm, Taggart confronts Yamamoto - who thought he had killed Taggart years ago - and finally avenges Miku in an epic Kung Fu battle.
During the battle, the injured Abraham Lincoln Johnson realizes that the ship is loaded with explosives and appears right after the epic demise of Yamamoto, clever tag line from Taggart, and follow-on musical number/dancing... to inform Taggart of the "explosive situation". Taggart radios the President, who has just received intel that Yamamoto - not content with his crushing victory at Pearl Harbor - was going to kamikaze attack the Golden Gate Bridge.
Taggart quickly discovers that the Yamamoto had locked the ship on course, full steam ahead. In typical sidekick fashion the injured Abraham Lincoln Johnson offers to stay on the boat to prematurely detonate the explosives - but Taggart will not hear of it. He improvises a time delay fuse, carries his friend back to their boat and they escape off into the sunrise as the Japanese ship explodes, just shy of the Golden Gate Bridge - saving the morning rush hour traffic driving by.
Cut forward to a small ceremony at the White House where the President honors Taggart and his friend. Being so moved by the black sidekick's devotion to the obviously awesome Taggart - and hearing Taggart imply that he probably couldn't have done it without him - the President (played by George W.) immediately repeals all racial segregation / inequality in the United States... and after discussing Taggart's refusal to go back into service with his staff, gives the go-ahead to start working on "that nucular thingie".
The end. Cue some kick ass 80's rock!