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back to article Judgment Day prophet resets doomsday clock

California preacher Harold Camping is unrepentant following his second unsuccessful attempt to predict Judgment Day, and now says true believers should pack their bags for ascension to heaven on 21 October. Camping's first stab at nailing the Rapture advised Christians to get their earthly affairs in order before 6 September …

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  1. mhoulden
    FAIL

    Forget Matthew

    I prefer Revelation 22:18-19: "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book. And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book. "

    Of course any book written by lots of people in a range of different languages over thousands of years will have contradictions and inconsistencies, so it's best not to take it too literally. Even the opening few pages have two different versions of the creation, which makes the Creationists look even sillier than they do already. "Which creation are you talking about, Genesis 1:1-2:2 or Genesis 2:5 onwards?"

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    Just an Idea

    Maybe someone could organise a massive Light and sound show, sort of Jean Michel Jarre-esque around Campings House for October 21st. How cool would that be?

    Thunderous Bass To make the Ground shake, Lots of white Lights and Lasers, Dry Ice, strobes, and the "Voice of God" or Metatron or whatever, coming on, and announcing what a C*ck he's been!

    Just an Idea. :)

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  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    it almost happened

    But Chuck Norris kicked Jesus back to paradise.

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  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Or...

    "we're just learning that we have to be a little more spiritual about this."

    Alternatively, just learning that you have to be less knee-wobblingly gullible and stupid could also work.

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  5. sisk
    FAIL

    He sure did

    "now says he simply misinterpreted the word of God "

    Yeah, I'd say so. In Matthew 24:36 Christ himself said that even he didn't know when the second coming would be, but this guy thinks he can work it out by reading the scriptures? Why in the world would anyone fall for this the first time, let alone the second or (now) the third?

    Harold Camping is considered a nutcase even amoungst Christians, at least the ones I know.

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    WTF?

    YahWeh is just a spoilt kid

    Did anyone seriously believe that the Goddess who actually created everything would really let her spoilt obnoxious kid brother destroy it?

    Of course, Skynet will have a damn good try to eliminate humans......

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  7. ratfox
    Flame

    Judgement day is TODAY!!!

    Duke Nukem Forever has gone gold.

    The flames of Hell are upon us!

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    1. DryBones
      Reply Icon
      Linux

      Not a bit of it

      I think you'll find you meant Hell has frozen over.

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  8. davenewman

    He was right but ..

    There were only 2 perfect Christians in the world to be elevated in the rapture. Camping and the rest failed because they couldn't bring themselves to love their enemies.

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  9. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    If church signs were honest about the rapture...

    Hilarious photoshop job at someecards:

    http://www.someecards.com/2011/05/19/if-church-signs-were-honest-about-the-rapture

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  10. Mario Thomas

    Interview?

    I've asked him to be available for an interview on 22 October - as I should think he would be free then. No response yet.

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  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    title

    "I have never, ever told anyone I'm infallible. But God is infallible."

    Uh hu, that's why (s)he/it spoke to someone who would fail to predict the end of the world, twice...

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  12. Big_Boomer Silver badge
    FAIL

    Wrong, wrong, WRONG!

    I was wrong in 1994.

    I was wrong on the 21 May.

    On the 22nd October I am going to be REALLY wrong!!

    Like anyone expects any sense from most GodBotherers.

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  13. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    The good news is....

    I won't have to worry about a Halloween costume this year (or ever again!)

    Linux penguin, because I was going to dress as him!!

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  14. Blofeld's Cat
    Alert

    Meanwhile ...

    At 32.58N 35.18E there sits a figure on a pale horse talking into an iPhone.

    "Did nobody make the cut then Boss? Oh I see... Postponed until 21 October... Going for the Big Bang rather than the steady burn... OK I'll tell the other three."

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  15. atomic jam
    Pint

    Bibleator

    "We're not changing a date at all; we're just learning that we have to be a little more spiritual about this"

    Maybe they should be a bit more mathematical about this, I mean, we've all accidentally brought a bible to math class by mistake (due unhealthily low levels of caffeine), where 1/0=eternal damnation.

    My first post hurra!!!!

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