back to article MS store staff in spontaneous electric boogie

Those of you who object to a) Microsoft, b) California and c) effusive Yanks gushing complete and utter cobblers are advised to look away now, because what follows is really going to put a downer on your day. Introducing Brad Slavin, who just happened to be in a shopping mall in Mission Viejo, unaware he was about to …

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  1. The Indomitable Gall

    I'm a Mac/I'm a PC

    The PC guys can dance like that, but the Mac should put on a hat and dance a tango with a gorgeous Argentinian burd.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @weirdcult

    No you cant. But you should already know that as an avid reg reader.

  3. Mike Flugennock
    WTF?

    Gob-smacking isn't the _word_...

    Spontaneous, you say? Oh, man. Give me a big, fat _break_, already. You actually cancelled a Mac order and bought a copy of Windows 7 because of _this_?

    A bunch of multi-colored-shirted employees at a Microsoft store -- mind you, the company that gave us those wretched Seinfeld ads, and the Windows 7 Tupperware Parties -- suddenly "spontaneously" bust out into the clappy dance? It looks like something taught to people at those weird-assed, cultlike corporate management training retreats -- you know, right after the Falling-Backward-While-Trusting-People-To-Catch-You exercise, and the firewalking exercise.

    Maa-aaan, that is some of the creepiest shit I've seen in a while, even from Microsoft's marketing department; I didn't last more than a minute before I had to stop it. Mind you, some of the "geniuses" at the Apple shops can get annoying in their own special way (and I've been using the OS Of The Gods since 1985), but at least for the most part they're actually busy helping customers figure stuff out instead of performing crass, shallow stunts.

    Jayzus, that's some nasty shit. Looks like they could stand to be taught another dance -- a long-time favorite dance of mine: the Fish-Slapping Dance.

  4. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)

    Re: Gob-smacking isn't the _word_...

    Of course it was spontaneous. You don't think people can be spontaneous when the spirit takes them? You're all such *cynics*.

  5. YumDogfood

    Shoplifter woman in white YAY! (thanks for spotting that)

    Did anyone else notice the shop was full of sweet FA? We have Win7 and uh, mice! yes mice, and uh...

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Gates Halo

    Re: Gob-smacking isn't the _word_...

    Thank you SO much, Ms Bee, for heading that off at the pass.

    Brown envelope with the used notes will be in the usual place.

    Keep up the good work.

    Love, Bill

  7. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Dance Monkey Boys! (& Girls)

    This sort of contrived lunacy makes me want to gouge out my eyes with a spoon and cut off my ears with a razor blade, so that I don't have to put up with it any more.

    Anyway, wouldn't it be more appropriate if they started throwing chairs instead?

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Flame

    where's the scientific rigour?

    I demand that we find out whether those concerned are flammable..

  9. Jacqui

    @Sarah Bee

    Come on - lets have a playmobil stop motion version or just the VC staff doing thier happy dance - with yourself standing just off camera with a whip to keep them in step :-)

    Jacqui

  10. Mike Flugennock

    @AC 18th November 2009 11:52 GMT, re: diner

    That wasn't a _real_ diner, but likely one of the cheap simulacra that are springing up all over the States, now that the yuppies have discovered diners (along with dive bars, which are being similarly ruined). Luckily, you got to fly back home to Britain, and I'm stuck _here_.

    If it were a _real_ diner, the most effusive marketing would've been in the form of a waitress who may have been a real hottie in her youth, but who's now in her fifties, wearing a uniform just a bit too tight, who hovers over you while asking in a husky, rasping, pack-a-day voice, "Hi, what can I get for ya' hon'?"

    Oh, and btw: the British, stuffy? Excuse me, but would this be the same Britain who gave us The Ministry Of Silly Walks, and a certain Mr. Anderson who plays the flute while dancing on one leg?

  11. Mike Flugennock
    Pint

    @Sarah Bee, re: Gob-smacking isn't the _word_...

    Yeah, I guess there's a chance of that, but, still... this _is_ Microsoft we're talking about, here. This had all the spontanaiety of the scene in "Fame" where we're all expected to believe that a bunch of performing-arts students would spontaneously burst out into the streets, doing all their moves exactly right while dancing on cars. These sales droids all knew the moves. They all knew when to clap and chant "Microsoft!" -- and, they put that redhead in the green t-shirt with the admirable knockers right in the front row, where people in the mall could see her.

    The only thing missing here was Steve Ballmer himself bursting in from the back of the store, armpit-stained, sweat-flecked bald head glistening, jumping and skipping grotesquely through the crowd while bellowing, "I...love...this...COMPANY!"

    Pint Of Lager Icon -- only because there's no Pint Of Stout icon, which I'm going to need several of if I expect to kill off all the brain cells which are storing the memory of having seen this video.

  12. JHD
    FAIL

    Welcome to the matrix (dance)

    Am I the only one waiting for the remix with the chorus “Developers, Developers?” I once saw a balding fat guy who could chant that ...perhaps they could get him. He could rush all madcap through the matix, bouncing pinball style off of various happy dancers, vaulting tables of product.

    I saw a bunch of kids dancing at the local Wendy’s years back; perhaps this is them, grown up and desperate--but I seem to remember the Wendy’s kids having better moves.

    A viral campaign for the textbooks.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Grenade

    Stating the obvious

    I watched nearly the whole thing. It was just a few employees dancing, and few customers joined in. Okay, this thing was obviously planned (you don't have that many employees in a store that only has a few boxes of different stock) and everything the blogger says it more than suspect. He probably set up the recording in advance knowing it was going to happen, or was sent it by someone else who did.

    I'm betting he isn't even a paid shill, he just does it because his personal obsession is with MS and so he is a little loose with the truth where they are concerned.

    It's probably just part of a team building exercise, new store, a load of people who don't know each other, gets the morale up. Then the manager decides they should do it in the store rather than just the hired hotel conference room. A bit embarrassing maybe, but not even in the same league as watching your dad at a wedding after a few beers.

    So the result? Loads of Reg readers cringed at the video and sent it to their friends or told them about it, MS gets more publicity again. Unpaid, "it'll never happen to me", unknowing shills, the lot of you.

  14. Mike Richards Silver badge
    FAIL

    I made it all the way through!!!

    So okay the only way to do it was to switch off the sound and minimise the window.

    But I *knew* it was still there wibbling and wobbling away in brightly-coloured SoCal Ballmervision - and that must count for something.

    After that I think I need some quality fare - something like the complete Steven Seagal collection, played backwards with a Swedish dub.

    (BTW. I think we need a special, extra-large FAIL icon for occasions like this)

  15. Mike Richards Silver badge

    Sorry forgot

    There's only way to cope in places like this. When someone wishes you to 'Have a Magical Day!'* or breaks into a perfectly choreographed 'spontaneous' dance, the socially correct response is:

    'Fuckity Bye!'

    * I so wish I was making that up.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Fanbois

    Of course, there is another possibility here that people have missed - Mr. Slavin is a shill for Apple trying to pass this all off in an endeavour to further the absolute fail that is the Apple marketing campaign. I certainly wouldn't put it past Jobs' Mob to attempt something like this in an attempt to bash on Microsoft further.

    <rant>

    To be perfectly honest, I'm so sick and tired of the Apple TV commercials that it's beyond words. The smugness of the "I'm a Mac" person, and the way they try to pass off the "I'm a PC" person is idiotic.

    </rant>

  17. Trevor Pott o_O Gold badge

    Ow....

    ...that hurt my soul...

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Stop

    they just couldn't help themselves

    Pitiful really. Put them down. Put them down, now.

  19. Jeff 17
    Big Brother

    Check out about 2:16 into the video...

    Looks like one of the joiners that just came in the door likes it just enough to get it but not enough to pay for it.

  20. This post has been deleted by its author

  21. I J Ellis
    Gates Halo

    The Lassie In The Green Top

    Do you think the teeth (very white) & bossom (very 'large' - but admirably so) were paid for by the Microsoft HMO?

  22. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Green top lady

    She could probably talk me into buying just about anything...

    Good work, MS - brightened my day for a change!

  23. Steve Taylor 3
    Happy

    Ripley said it first

    "Nuke the site from orbit - it's the only way to be sure."

  24. Neoc

    Astroturfing

    Someone get me the lawnmower.

  25. Charles Osborne

    Aren't you glad we split 255 years ago?

    And you have the big pond keeping us safely at a distance!

    (If I promise to spell "colour" properly, may I please repatriate? I'll try to like my beer warm, too.)

  26. Barry John Williams
    WTF?

    Ballmer?

    I was half expecting the sweaty monster Ballmer to jump in halfway through that shouting Developers, Developers, Developers whilst throwing chairs at those customers using Google...

  27. nirm

    Sick as in Vomit inducing

    I have only this to say

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1e4SbiKHRQ

  28. Steve Swann
    Thumb Up

    For once...

    ...I am pleased that my employer blocks youtube in the workplace. Pleased I tell you.

  29. EmperorOfCanada
    Thumb Down

    My life changed forever

    Just the other day I looked at Windows 7 and my life began to change. The sun pierced the clouds just for me, the boil on my knee fell to the ground, and I got back my hand that I lost in the war. Now that Bill Gates is gone MS stopped making products for people and now make for Angels.

  30. Peter Hood
    Paris Hilton

    Puppiez

    Americans are like puppies, particularly these children, who demonstrate quite clearly that the employment policies and personalities of CEOs and other senior personnel are shown in the quality and behaviour of their staff.

    Paris, because she is, like, soooooo american.

    Missing you already.

  31. rick buck
    FAIL

    reason to get a mac 10

    I hope the M$ employees now feel like they are Wal-Mart employees.

    That is what they look like.

    ...And it is not original at all...

  32. Dale Morgan

    you wont find that here!

    we have massive unemployment, massive debt, get electricity from other countries and cant fend for ourselves but its videos like these that make me proud to be British, we stay professional at all times and don't reverts into a bunch of primary school wannabe actors when we're in work

    all of the people in this video should be sacked

  33. robert hanson
    Linux

    blue screen of death

    And the background is: a very large microsoft BLUE screen.

    says it all really.

    From a still very happy linux user.

  34. Baruch
    FAIL

    This is sad...

    I'm finding it difficult to believe that Microsoft has such a low opinion of the public. But wait! I understand. The public has been buying Microsoft products for years. Turns out, Microsoft is right after all. The public really is dumb enough to believe this crap.

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