"Gifted", "birthed", ugh.
BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "... And so we're thinking that some way of getting a morale boost would be good," the Boss burbles. "And cash was ruled out because?" I ask. "Money is a temporary thing..." "Much like morale in that respect," the PFY notes. "The Director wants something longer term. Something less …
My particular bugbear at the moment is "di-sect". The word is "dis-sect", it has two esses in the middle. The american TV programmes are mainly to blame, they mangle this particular word, but don't similarly bastardise such words as dissent, dissemble, disseminate, dissident, etc., etc.. Makes me shudder and shout at the telly whenever it is uttered.
Same old BOFH
Does anyone apart from him and the PFY survive an entire year working in the same building....
Incidently I had a boss, fresh from uni, with a toff accent, RP english and the brains of a dead sparrow that had been run over by a road roller, got the job because he was the in the same college as the owner's son......... (cue much burbled rememberings.... )
The Janitor has been the same guy for twenty years. He not only knows were the bodies are buried, he knows everything because he has to deal with the literal trash.
A fired techie might wipe the database in anger, a fired Janitor will make sure your life is Hell.
He might not know much of computers but he has copies of all the keys in the building.
He is the guy who they call to clean every mess, so he got blackmail by the truckloads. He might not know your browser search story but he is the one who saw the stains you left after work.
Worse, most people do not even know the guy name, he is just the janitor for them.
He is at work before they open and leaves hours after closing.
Philip has never visited the despair.com website, has he?
"It could be that the purpose of your life is to serve as a warning to others"
"We're not paying you to believe in the power of your dreams. Get back to work."
"Not everyone gets to be an astronaut"
...with appropriate images, of course.
One of my favourite sites, and one of the best is
SHOOT FOR THE MOON
Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. Of course, then your eyeballs will boil and your lungs explode from decompression. But that's what you get for being a damn showoff.
Bet we all work with someone this describes
All the signs here in replies to the Director's wishes are most encouraging of further outrageous shenanigans in both Common Private and Communal Pirate Communications Fields.
:-) Do you imagine it a near perfect fit for weirdos and misfits with odd skills as recently advertised as being considered for special service here .......... https://dominiccummings.com/2020/01/02/two-hands-are-a-lot-were-hiring-data-scientists-project-managers-policy-experts-assorted-weirdos/
An Ageing Eton Mess is No Stranger to a Strawberry Field Fool, and that usually Results in the Need, Seed and Feed of a Major Systems ReBoot and Full Executive Administration Overhaul.
Some would say that be tantamount to being certainly quite revolutionary ...... with others able to add and laud and applaud such as delivering quantum leap evolutionary too.
cc dmc2.cummings at you know where.
"After the laxative cake of 2012 no one's going to take snacks from us," the PFY points out.
I'm amazed they didn't go for a sedative-laxative combo... You'll shit yourself, but you won't give a shit about it.
Add in a little LSD for extra effect - having someone screaming "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT BLOODY DRAGON ON THE BOARDROOM TABLE ?!" as they void themselves will live long in corporate memory...!
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