back to article Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

You've heard of the e-penis – the measure of an individual's power and stance on the internet – but have you considered the street penis? Yes, 'tis the season to overcompensate by spewing the most garish Chrimbo lights display possible all over your home to let your neighbours know that you are indeed the big man. We all know …

Anonymous Coward

Why Can't it be Christmastime All Year (sing along)

Turns out, the students figured out a way to power the display using Cialis.

Unfortunately, you can only see it in December when the moment is right.

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Anonymous Coward

Millenials?

I thought millenials were supposed to be 'individuals who reached adulthood around the turn of the 21st century'? Those people are in their thirties now, so a bunch of students are more likely to be what marketers term 'Generation Z', are they not?

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Re: Millenials?

I think we missed an opportunity to call them New Teenagers.

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Re: Millenials?

I think we missed an opportunity to call them New Teenagers.

Oh, that's a good idea,

then we could rename baby boomers 'why aren't you all dead yet'

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Re: Millenials?

In this case, they would seem to be neo-flashists.

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Apparently flamingos and unicorns also

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/7855442/millennials-swap-traditional-christmas-decorations-unicorns-mermaids/

Penii or mythical beasts, either tends to offend the reactionary who seem to never tire of the yearly indulgence in the tired old trappings of the season, totally unaware most of the current yearly decor comes only from the Victorian era, and is not an eternal tradition.

We're well overdue a renewal or a makeover of the season - it's just got so cliche - from the usual holiday telly schedule to the tedious endless repetition of christmas songs in every shop you go into from the end of November onwards.

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Re: Apparently flamingos and unicorns also

*End* of November? Luxury!

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Re: Apparently flamingos and unicorns also

"mythical beasts, either tends to offend the reactionary who seem to never tire of the yearly indulgence in the tired old trappings of the season, totally unaware most of the current yearly decor comes only from the Victorian era, and is not an eternal tradition."

Mythical beasts such as flying reindeer? :)

Incidentally while many 'tired old trappings' might indeed be Victorian-era, actual Christmas Trees date from the 1600s while tree-worship and the hanging of greenery indoors around winter solstice time predates Christianity. Saint Nicholas as a bringer of gifts is also a much older idea, and many European countries celebrate 6th December, his feast day, with the arrival of 'Sinterklaas', 'Samiklaus' etc

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Anonymous Coward

I saw one such decoration....

Palmtrees. rows of them.

But only the trunks were lit up. And the round bushes on their base. The pair of them. And some other variations... innocently lit up...

https://i.redd.it/suylocd928301.jpg

https://hugelolcdn.com/i/53405.jpg

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Pint

Well done students...

.... I can see why you thought this was funny, because I think it's funny.

Yes, I possibly should have grown up by now, which is certainly my wife's view after overhearing me explaining to our youngest why boys _always_ find fart jokes funny, no mater how old they get.

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Re: Well done students...

Well, when I was a student, I might have found it funny. For about five minutes. And then, it's just a bit silly.

But it's also pretty damn puerile. And if their landlords didn't see the funny side, they might have found themselves out of their accommodation for the New Year.

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Re: Well done students...

It would be interesting to know what legal means the landlord would have to evict them that quickly? Considering they haven't broken any standard letting agreement.

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Joke

Re: Well done students...

I've found the reason why women don't appreciate fart jokes, is because they never shut up long enough to build up the pressure to let one rip.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Well done students...

"Considering they haven't broken any standard letting agreement."

I would suspect that most letting agreements are loaded with "NO ....." clauses. Annoying the neighbours by inconsiderate behaviour is probably one.

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Re: Well done students...

It would be interesting to know what legal means the landlord would have to evict them that quickly? Considering they haven't broken any standard letting agreement.

My oldest has just moved into a rented property, and the rental agreement is standard for the letting agency and includes a vast number of "thou shalt not..." clauses. I'd be very surprised if anybody letting properties to students would be daft enough not to include prohibition on causing offence, hazard or harm to neighbours, amongst many other things.

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Re: Well done students...

None of the ones I ever signed as a student (or since) included any clauses that would cover this.

Also just because you break the agreement it doesn't mean the landlord can say "pack your bags". They have to issue a section 21 (basically we want you out), go to court and have a judge agree (they are the only people that can say you HAVE to go) and get county court bailiffs (only people that can throw you out). Looking at a good 7 or 8 months for the full process. Same rules apply if you don't pay rent or break any other clause, if they don't have the specific clause in the contract the judge might not even agree with them. One of the good things about the UK is the protection tenants have.

(I own my own house now but have always taken an interest in tenency law)

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Re: Well done students...

...of if it's an 'assured shorthold tenancy', as I believe most are these days, assuming they have been there for the tenancy period on their contract (6 or 12 months usually), give them 1 month's notice of termination of their rolling contract without need for a reason.

One of the bad things about the UK is how little protection tenants have compared to other European countries, especially when it comes to things like rent increases, or the landlord deciding to sell up to someone who no longer wants to let the property.

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Re: Well done students...

1 months termination comes and goes. Only people that can legally tell you to sod off is a judge. There is little protection for long-term lets which is a massive issue, but if you a student then you often plan to leave after a year anyway.

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Trollface

Apart from Which......

There are too many massive cocks in Reading already

Oracle and Microsoft have offices there

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lack of context

Having the paper explain it and getting attention to it is great but for most it will just look juvenile without context. They should do some thinking about the statement it makes; that would be difficult without writing "my insecurity is bigger" below it. I think I'd be more inclined to take a spot light and aim it into the window of the extremist lighting up the world and put a wreath around it and say "it's only a decoration."

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Re: lack of context

> "They should do some thinking about the statement it makes..."

You mean like, "Trolling the easily offended is fun"?

Okay, I've thought about it. Done now. What's the next prank?

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Private, not public.

. . . The concerned resident neglected to mention whether he was offended by the sight of his own appendages. . . .

I don't know about that person but I am not offended by the sight of my own appendage. Neither do I go around flaunt my appendages to just any Tom, Dick or Harry. My appendage is for private showing only and that to only a very select individual.

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Re: Private, not public.

Hear hear. Why on earth that got downvoted, I do not know.

Have an upvote.

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Re: Private, not public.

have not downvoted.... but I have two observations:

1) Offence is taken, not given.

2) It is fine to have a moral standpoint, it's fine to be proud of it, but don't wave it about in people's faces or shove it down children's throats.

So, your moral stances are like your dicks, keep them between you and your significant other and everyone will be happy. Representations or written descriptions of your moral standpoints are acceptable, but they might offend some people - in that case however, I doubt you'd give a fuck and you'd still feel justified in conveying the concept.

Ok, 3.

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Anonymous Coward

Apparently this is the residence of Won Hung Lo?

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Anonymous Coward

Or Long Duck Dong

Now go watch "Sixteen Candles".

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TRT
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I like the person in the top window...

made me wonder what the carol singers would choose for this doorstep.

Oh Come, All Ye Faithful?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I like the person in the top window...

Ding Dong Merrily On High?

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TRT
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Re: I like the person in the top window...

Meet Us Under the Mistletoe?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I like the person in the top window...

"Meet Us [...]"

That is a clever anatomical pun.

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Bah!

"Please do not adorn your house with optimistic depictions of male genitalia as having all the windows in your house broken by passing neigbours can cause offense".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah!

In which case the neighbours are not nice people. Offence is in the mind of the beholder. Resorting to violence suggests an underlying insecurity about their own inner thoughts.

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Re: Bah!

can cause offense

Offence can never be caused; it's a choice the offended person always makes to be offended. I can't possibly know what you might find offensive vs the next snowflake in line, so it's really up to you to choose not to be offended by things.

That we've allowed ourselves to be driven so far down this utterly barking mad road of allowing "you" to retrospectively flag something that offends you when it's too late for me to not say it and was previously unknowable to me that you might choose to find it offensive, is the biggest risk to society we face. Once everyone chooses to be offended all the time, in a game of oversensitive oneupmanship, then no progress will be possible.

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Re: Bah!

"Please do not adorn your house with optimistic depictions of male genitalia as having all the windows in your house broken by passing neigbours can cause offense can cause arrest of the perpetrator for criminal damage".

FTFY

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Re: Bah!

Offence can never be caused; it's a choice the offended person always makes to be offended.

Whilst this is undoubtedly true in some cases, I wonder whether you would agree that, for instance, daubing racist graffiti on someone's door, in human excrement, would be deliberately causing offence, or whther the victims are just being "snowflakes", because you'd have a hard time defending that position in front of a magistrate.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah!

"I wonder whether you would agree that, for instance, daubing racist graffiti on someone's door, in human excrement, would be deliberately causing offence [...]"

Presumably that amounts to "criminal damage" - irrespective of what is daubed with what.

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Re: Bah!

All very good points, but everyone missed mine, which was that those who push their neighbours' buttons may find themselves sleeping in draughty cold houses with cardboard window panes at the start of the spring term if they hit home.

I never said *I* would break any windows. Then again, I never said I would draw things on my walls with fairy lights, things designed to get a rise out of my neighbours.

Because, well, where's the win?

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Re: Offence can never be caused

Don't be ridiculous; of course it can. See: Linus Torvald's comments on "offending code".

The irony of being told that offense cannot be caused in a thread that has earned the root post nothing but downvotes is worthy of a phone call to Alanis Morissette.

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Re: Bah!

I wonder whether you would agree that, for instance, daubing racist graffiti on someone's door, in human excrement, would be deliberately causing offence

It's criminal damage for sure, but ultimately while the offender hopes the victim to be offended, only the victim can choose to be so. It's not within the offenders gift to ensure.

you'd have a hard time defending that position in front of a magistrate.

Quite rightly so, but not because of any offense the victim perceived, but because it's a clear cut case of criminal damage, which is what you'd actually be charged with.

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Good to see the ancient traditions being maintained

In Greece and Rome the phallus was a symbol of good fortune and abundance. It was regularly carried on religious processions - sometimes requiring several people to do the job.

There was even a deity called Fascinus who was represented by a set of male genitalia, whose image was kept - for some reason - by the Vestal virgins.

So if the students are told to take their symbol down, they have several reasons for refusing on religious grounds. Depending where you work, this image might not be safe for it.

https://plus.google.com/photos/photo/106636993812665674852/5737049636927307330

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Good to see the ancient traditions being maintained

IIRC A few years ago students in Cambridge were fined by LEO for making a snow phallus.

Some young friends of mine made a very large one in the garden of a pub during their tea-break. The pub landlord was not amused and fired them.

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Anonymous Coward

6/10 for effort, they should have added ivy veins.

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Anonymous Coward

With suitable animation skills they could have gone for a money shot. (NSFW phrase)

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Jeremy Clarkson would love this.

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Oh dear ...

First bunch of students "We thought we'd have a laugh and erect some christmas lights in the shape of a penis."

Second bunch of students "Well it's offensive, reeks of toxic masculinity, rape culture and it's ....it's ....it's oh so, so white. Don't you care about diversity?"

First lot again "Well yeah, we did think of putting a black one up but no-one would've seen it. And besides, the buildings only three stories high."

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Appendages In the house.

There must be a load of big appendages in the students house that is for sure.

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Anonymous Coward

Candle

All I see is a candle with holly berries around tbe base. It looks like someone forgot to include the holly leaves, or they flash out of sequence resulting in something which might be construed as obscene by those with less than moralistic minds.

Roight. I'm off to Dick's Sporting Goods to get some balls. Anyone else want to come?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Candle

To see sex everywhere one needs a mindset that is obsessed with sex.***

***Cue Pope Francis's comments quoted in a book this week

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Go

"..you walk home you just don't expect to come face to face with an enormous penis..."

I hope your wife doesn't have this same problem. :)

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obviously a Christian knob as it's a helmet rather than a skin. So what's the issue?

Seriously though, I wonder if the same 'complainer' remonstrates his kids about watching the daily news of people around the world being blown up, tortured, starved, displaced and generally fucked over in the name of imperial resource hoarding and money making arms companies.

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