back to article Deliveroo to bike food to hungry fanbois queuing to buy iPhones

The most shameless press release of the week award goes to Deliveroo for trying to share the limelight with Apple by offering to bike food to fanbois queuing for the latest iPhones released tomorrow. “Forget crushed crisps and soggy sandwiches to snack on when waiting in the cold and rain to get the newest iPhone,” PR babble …

Apple customers will presumably be lining up to buy the latest iGadgets on Friday, though they will only be able to purchase the most expensive iPhones first - the XS and XS Max - with the other models due to hit the streets next month.

Good sales tactic. Sucker the early adopters into paying premium plus for a phone before releasing the "cheaper" version.

One way to make the balance sheet look good on release day.

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And after the food

I wonder if there is a gig economy company that delivers a bucket for them to crap in and takes it away afterwards.

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TRT
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Re: And after the food

Tub - er.

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Re: And after the food

I wonder if there is a gig economy company that delivers a bucket for them to crap in and takes it away afterwards.

Like those medieval street entrepreneurs who carried a bucket and had a big cape? The prospective shitter would pay the bloke for the use of the bucket, and the service provider would wrap the cloak around his paying guest, before going off slightly richer with a loaded bucket.

This being 2018, the same model works, except that it needs an app to take the order and payment, whilst down-on-their-luck peasants provide the service. I'd try and tie up with Deliveroo and have the same people carrying hot food, along with the slop bucket and cape, so I could pay them less, and they'd be grateful for the extra income. I can't see any downside to me. Obviously I'd have a demand-dependent pricing, and a loading for the customer's desperation.

I reserve the rights to the names ShitZ and Shittr

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Prey indeed

"while people - Apple fans are people too - stand in line to prey at the altar of dreams"

Freudian slip?

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Re: Prey indeed

I was just about to post something about Apple's prey. LOL

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CT

Typo alert... or is it?

"...stand in line to prey at the altar of dreams..."

Hmm, perhaps I prefer the original

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Unhappy

Re: Typo alert... or is it?

First thing I though of was a FTFY of "stand in line to be preyed on at the altar of dreams".

I'm late to the party today :(

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Homeless guy

Fell asleep in the doorway of an Apple store. Hipsters queued up behind him, figuring he was first in line for a new Apple product release.

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I was on the tube...

...and a bearded man-child millennial took off his North Face backpack, sat next to me and of course immediately started caressing his iPhone. He had apps to service all areas of his life: facebook, twitter, netflix, instagram, laundrapp (yes it does exist), just eat, amazon. He got stuck into instagram too quickly to see if he had an app for wiping his spotty arse, or for attempting to get laid, but I expect he did.

Deliveroo is just one more small piece of modern idiocy. I just keep thinking of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Machine_Stops

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Happy

Re: I was on the tube...

How do you know his arse was spotty? Did he have those loose jeans that make you look like you've crapped yourself? Or did he have the Moony app on his iPhone as well?

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Re: I was on the tube...

Except for your stereotypical association of this madness with millenials, I totally agree.

But think of it. Does he do it b/c all his friends are? What are the reasons these people get stuck in their iThingies?

And regarding Deliveroo, no, it isn't idiocy. It is a business exploiting the mentioned-above. Ethical? Hardly. Successful? Seems to be.

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Useful tip

The Carphone Warehouse round the corner from your local Apple Store charges the same price as Apple, and doesn't have any queues. You can still take it to the Apple Store later if you need support on it.

Also, Apple Stores outside of Rent-A-Crowd locations such as Regent Street don't have queues. If you are in Regent Street, go to the bus stop outside the Apple Shop and take the No 94 to Shepherd's Bush, where you will find an Apple Shop that is free of queues, as well as a Carphone Warehouse, a Currys PC World and a John Lewis, all of which sell iDevices.

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Re: Useful tip

But that queue is part of the experience... the OOBE.

"OOTS, mon" more like. (Out Of Their Skulls).

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Windows

Re: Useful tip

the OOBE.

Out Of Booze Error?

I expect Deliveroo to not offer hard liquor anyway.

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"£1,499 for the 512GB model"

Maybe I read the comments too quickly and missed it, but has nobody really commented on the price? WTF? Just how gullible are these morons?

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Re: "£1,499 for the 512GB model"

It seems absolutely insane to me, that you can buy a powerful gaming PC and smartphone for the price of an iPhone...

However, if they don't need any other computing devices then it doesn't make much difference. What worries me is when they buy a Mac as well :-/

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Re: "£1,499 for the 512GB model"

However, if they don't need any other computing devices then it doesn't make much difference.

Does that justify it? The storage difference between the 64GB and the 512GB price is waaaaay more expensive than a more competent SSD of more capacity.

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Queuing is a job

Not sure how much demand there is currently, but a few years back I've certainly been in a "release day" queue. Because while there are plenty of the latest iShiny in US/EU (usually) there are more than a few people in the rest of the world who will pay 120-200% of the retail price in order to have the latest iShiny in their social group.

So own a $1000+ phone? Bah, a 200 Wileyfox or Honor does all I need. But buy an expensive phone and sell it within an hour for a 50% markup after costs? Hell yeah.

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Re: Queuing is a job

So own a $1000+ phone? Bah, a 200 Wileyfox or Honor does all I need. But buy an expensive phone and sell it within an hour for a 50% markup after costs? Hell yeah.

That's what I call Bastard (as in BOFH) Cunning.

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Well...

...If you can afford to take that much time off work, assuming you are poor enough to have to work, in order to queue to buy a phone that costs half a months wages for someone on reasonable pay then I guess you can afford the markup on Deliveroo.

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Devil

elementary

Tim: We need to find a new stratum of customers... Let's raise prices. Maybe if we raise the price so high that we can say "If you have to ask, you can afford it."

Marketing team: Sounds great, bonuses for all my friends at the bar!

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JLV
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Pint

I am really bemused at this sudden Instagram adulation of the avocado on toast thingy.

Might I however suggest (it tastes waaaay better than it sounds):

- crushed ice

- shot of espresso-strength coffee

- generous dollop of sweet condensed milk

- avocado. make sure it isn't overripe.

- for extra credits add a shot or two of bourbon or dark rum.

Blender all. This is a play on Vietnamese coffee.

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Or even better: Kopi Luwak coffee, hand-picked from elephant shit.

Source: https://www.bloomberg.com/news/photo-essays/2017-01-27/world-s-priciest-coffee-is-hand-picked-from-elephant-dung

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Good for the Goose

One imagines that Deliveroo will charge double the going rate for every dish to these queuers in order to get them ready for the Apple technology pricing strategy...

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They should have done it back in 2010 or so

Back when the queues were a real thing. With the online preordering working nearly flawlessly ever year, those lines are much smaller than they used to be. Why stand around for ages when you just need a few clicks at 12:01 PDT on the appropriate night and Fedex will deliver your phone to your door the following Friday? That's a better deal than Deliveroo is offering!

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So, you queue for hours in the wind and rain to spend £1000+ for something you haven't seen or tried out, just so that for a few moments you can say "oooh I have got..."

Wow.... just Wow

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WTF?

Sneering

Not sure why the article is sneering at Deliveroo. It's just pulling a perfectly reasonable stunt. Can't imagine they'll really get business out of it, but it's amusing enough.

We might validly criticise or condemn Deliveroo's (non-)employment practices: I don't know enough about the reality of it to comment. But sneering at a harmless tongue-in-cheek stunt?

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Re: Sneering

Well I suppose it earns them some publicity (I'd never heard of them before) but iPhone queues are a fraction of their former size now that almost everyone orders online instead of waiting in line. The sneering is more at them being years late with an idea that could have been really big if it was done in 2012.

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What about the waste products?

Not the most charming of subjects while eating my lunch, but....

What about the inevitable waste products produced from eating the hipster sandwich and overpriced alpine spring water? How is one supposed to relieve oneself without losing the place in the queue?

Maybe I should create a disruptive startup called DeliverPoo, although that's a bit like a return to the night soilmen of old. But hey, if it's on a carbon-neutral bike and has an app associated with the service then it's new and disruptive right?

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