back to article What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

The fine people at CAMRA are also fans of The Register, and are giving away both free and discount tickets for possibly one of the greatest shows on Earth: the incredible Great British Beer Festival at Olympia next month. To get in free, you must enter the competition below. Free entry will go to the five readers (and two of …

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WTF?

Non alchoholic

We can win half price entry tickets or submit a code for 50% discount?

Oh, go on then:

No Contest - an absorbing but confusing beverage with no perceived long term benefit?

Toe Stamp - more hoppy than you expected.

ICL - a traditional ale. Can be distinguished from the more powerful and full bodied IBM mainly by a very slight difference in character(set). One for the discerning old time mainframe systems programmers.

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Pint

Root Beer

sudo get me a pint.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Root Beer

That has to win,

though I'd have probably used sudo grep -r "me a pint" *

and specifically,

sudo grep –r “me a pint of Guinness” *

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GreyBeerd

Produces a deep state of depression at the faddishness of javascript frameworks.

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Under a mile away so will be there anyway...

Googale - a chocolate stout, of course.

Ethernol - enjoy from the TAP, or direct from the TUN as you prefer.

Open Sauce - for drinkers that really don't like lock-ins.

Duff Porter - a subtle blend of many layers (marketing strapline: it's not just about the destination)

Tactical Nuclear Penguin - a Linux-inspired... no, that's a stupid name for a beer, forget it.

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Re: Under a mile away so will be there anyway...

"Tactical Nuclear Penguin - a Linux-inspired... no, that's a stupid name for a beer, forget it."

Causes a lot of swearing.

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Re: Under a mile away so will be there anyway...

no shit...

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Anonymous Coward

Does that beer exist?

Heisenbock. ABV is unknown until after you drink it, and once you do you don't know how many you drank.

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Anonymous Coward

BOFH wannabe

FooKeySheMa Seiz(ium)ure 137

Its a west coast red ale finished in Pinot Noir barrels that had post-Fukishima grapes used in its last batch. It finishes a bit hot with a half life life of about 10,000 years.

Shipped in lead foil wrappers.

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CAMRA-AllMalt-Delight

Starting from fresh

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DOUBLE PRECISION ALE

Like REAL ALE, but twice as good...

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Guru Meditation

A 16% black brew with flashes of red. Will give you a kickstart to get to your workbench.

Fond memories of doing various computer shows at olympia. As for GBBF, I'm there all week as one of your friendly stewards.

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Re: I'm there all week as one of your friendly stewards.

Have they thought of renaming the place Aley Paley for the occasion?

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Going, Thanks

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Photonic Crystale

with Dark side of the Moon badge art

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Coat

Ice Cold In Shoreditch

Vulture hacks journey across the Silicon Roundabout in a Black Cab in search of innovation

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Microfocale

A blend of several different old ales that no-one was interested in drinking anymore...

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Pub Names

The PC and Mac

Android and iPhone

Balmer and The Chair

Linus and The Finger

The Lord Sugar

The Baroness, in Soho

The Hipster Bar

The Oracle

The Penguin

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Re: Pub Names

The Drink Pad

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Suggestions from the night shift

Torvald's Expletive Laden Rant - Finnish craft export bitter

DHCP - Distinctly Hoppy Craft Pint

DROP TABLE Ale;

USB - Universally Stout Beer

Ankles Tangled & Twisted (AT&T) - Outsourced IPA.

Core Dump - Late harvest cider

PoE - Pint of Excellence

Asterisk BoIP (Beer of India Pale)

SaaS (Sauce as a Service) - Golden ale, provided by someone else

Outsauced

Git Push - Strong ale; a real fighting drink

Facebork - Another strong, dark ale.

Turing's Bombe - Finely crafted tribute to Alan Turing. It's not quick but the results make it worth the wait.

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Re: Suggestions from the night shift

"Core Dump - Late harvest cider"

Panic Dump - A German Weissbier

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Re: Suggestions from the night shift

"DHCP - Distinctly Hoppy Craft Pint"

Yeah, but there's generally only one server for that - and when they aren't available you'll end up with an Automatically Provided IPA

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Anonymous Coward

Kernel Panic 2%

A fruity brew where you only have a 2% chance of working out what the f*ck just happened.

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Not an ale name but a bit of a story about booking a ticket for the GBBF.

When I booked my tickets the following questions were a mandatory condition of purchase.

Where did you hear about the festival?

How often do you go to the pub?

How often do you drink real ale?

I complained to CAMRA as I thought this might be in breach of GDPR and did get a quick response saying the conditions on questions had been removed. I checked and they had been.

I also commented on the 'I agree to the above waiver' options as I thought that might not be clear to many people but was told that couldn't be changed as the wording was set by eventbrite and CAMRA had no way to change it.

Well done El Reg on such a big discount for readers, as someone who has paid to been a CAMRA member for over 35 years (with the odd year break now and then before I paid by direct debit) I got nowhere near that discount! Bit miffed about that if I'm honest.

Cheers!

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Moore's Pour

A really good pint that somehow leaves you wanting to double your capacity every time you drink it

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Black Screen of Death

ABV 12% - A double brewed Imperial stout with notes of smoked oats, dispair and a smooth nutty finish. Leaves a lingering aftertaste of panic.

Best followed by a pint of Reboot, or if taste lingers, NewMachine

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GNAB 26.1%

Standing for GNAB's not a beer the name makes perfect sense about halfway through the second pint. Multiple flavours and aficionados claim suitable for any occasion.

Polite and restrained conversations often break out on its merits compared to the similar "Fruit of the VIne" despite it being superior in every conceivable respect.

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Anonymous Coward

Tech & Real Ale

A match made in nerd heaven.

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Pint

Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

Acorn and Gone - Nutty with a hint of nostalgia

Archimedes - A bit Greek with a hint of old socks

WIMP Game - Endless fun with strange hints

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Re: Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

WIMP game ... never did get through that one

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Pirate

Re: Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

@ Will Godfrey - WIMP game ... never did get through that one

I don't know anyone who did hence - Endless Game :-)

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And no one has mentioned...

Blockchain Brew. No one understands it but everyone wants it.

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IT Angle

The inevitable EULA

that you have to read (all 500+ pages) before they will license you to drink a pint.

They will be along later to collect the same amount of urine because the EULA only allowed you an 18 hour loan of the liquid.

Failure to give up the urine will lead to a law suit being filed before you can blink an eye. They will allege IP theft, wilful patent violation(triple damages) and anything else that the $1000/hour lawyers can think of.

Sadly, I'll be in Haggis land when the GBBF is on but I hear that the Isle of Skye brewery in Uig brews a pretty decent pint.

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Re: The inevitable EULA

"They will allege IP theft, wilful patent violation(triple damages) and anything else that the $1000/hour lawyers can think of."

I'll get my lawyer to look into it, I. P. Freely, he's very good at dealing with EULAs which take the piss.

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Social wetwork

Though I think that might fall foul of trading standards for implying violence.

hmm

NumbPint for the legless python coder.

"Press Nine to order a pint"

Edit: Actually, continuing the Python jokes, can I submit both Pythonic and Pandorable as words better suited to beer than to coding?

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Served by the 228ml

DEAD BEEF - 09/FF ABV

OOP5 - 0C/FF ABV

OFF5 - 0F/FF ABV

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Re: Served by the 228ml

"The Daily WTF happened last night".....after you drink it you need a (P)ersonal (I)njury (S)upport (S)ystem!

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Total Inability To Stay Upright Porter

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NoALE

See above

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Pint

Buffer Overflow

Always get just more than a pint.

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Batch Tuesday

"Batch Tuesday"

Tasting Notes.

A secret recipe - known to be a somewhat vomit inducing bitter-sweet ale based on a recipe of a large multinational in Seattle, after buying out what was, a successful Finnish Brewery.

The recipe is changed monthly on the second Tuesday of the month. Best described as work in progress. Multiple flavours, none of which is particularly enticing.

Can often take all night and into the early morning to drink a single bottle. Your brain often ends up as mush, constantly checking to see if the contents are finished, hoping the non-responsiveness won't last.

Best thing you can say about 'Batch Tuesday', if you manage to get through to the next day with no ill effects, you'll be somewhat relieved. Oddly though, some can't wait to try next month's batch to see if it's improved, treating the beer like an endurance test.

Store upright as contents liable to leak.

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Integer Ale

No, you can't have a half.

Needs to be brewed at exactly 4%. No fractions allowed.

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Frictionless Border Beer.

Frictionless Border Beer.

Tasting Notes.

Originally thought up to be one of those aspirational low alcohol beers by a soft drinks company, that is meant to appeal to all. It's their first dip of the toe into the low alcohol soft drinks market and it shows.

It's completely flavourless with gammon, even though it was designed to appeal to all British tastes, it's not even as good as the best selling EU brewed equivalent yet the SRP is double the price. Its unique selling point "a novel new beer that hasn't' been attempted before anywhere in the World before".

Very cloudy, opaque even, when poured and overly complex. From the description, you really can't make head nor tail of it. Very difficult to define the overall market they are going for, not much appeal. Far too expensive for its own good and unlikely to see any real delivery before 2030, due to production problems, lack of tender to produce at scale.

You'd do better to stick to with your usual EU brand of beer, all told.

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"Cloudy Bollocks"

Other peoples ale, made from piss and wind, and you don't buy a pint you rent it.

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Re: "Cloudy Bollocks"

"Other peoples ale, made from piss and wind, and you don't buy a pint you rent it."

Sometimes served from a leaking bucket.

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