back to article Facebook supremo Mark Zuckerberg has flunky tell UK MPs: Nope, he's sending someone else

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has once again declined to cross the Atlantic to give evidence to British MPs as part of their inquiry into social media and the spread of fake news. The UK's Commons Digital, Culture, Media and Sport Committee's inquiry is rapidly morphing into a much wider investigation into exactly what happens …

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Re: Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918

I've seen kids smoking younger than that but as I said there is more than one story about that and the consensus is post war (so as I said anywhere between 1899-1918/9). From what has been said he was one of those people who'd massage facts if he felt like it.. To make a point.

It does annoy me when you get "historical documentaries" and some Colonel-general or other is smoking like the Blucher at flank speed and not a whisper - in reality the guy would have been chewing the furniture if someone smoked in his presence.

Oddly enough there seem to be several reasons for his vegetarianism - health (which ironically might be made worse not better), Geili Raubal (the mysterious case of the knocked off neice), and several of the people whom he took inspiration from were also vegetarian.

The thing that worries me about Facebook is its almost like a self inflicted Geheime Staats Polizei or Gestapo. People put information on it before they even think of the implications... For example, Heydrich & the rest of them wouldn't need to go hunting and trawling for Jews throughout Europe nowadays - they'd just do a search on Facebook - 90% sitting there with home addresses, relatives, the whole kit and caboodle - just jump in the Opel Blitz and hoover them up..

Don't like the gun control kids and want to put a bullet into a few of them (plus/minus family members) - 10 minutes on Facebook, and a 20 minute road trip - job done. If you are an NRA employee the way it's going you might even be able to claim mileage and a bullet allowance..

Intelligent, perceptive and let's be fair utterly cynical people have been saying this for years - ask me how I know - and you've shouted them down and kept on despite the warnings..

And hasn't it just blown up in your face..

Arsebookers - meet petard...now where did I put the jalapeño laced KY?

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Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

“Are you familiar with the rule that, when on the internet, you lose an argument if you mention Hitler?”

That’s not what the ”law” says.

Are you aware of that?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Hitler stopped smoking personally somewhere between 1899 & 1918

Don't like the gun control kids and want to put a bullet into a few of them (plus/minus family members) - 10 minutes on Facebook, and a 20 minute road trip - job done. If you are an NRA employee the way it's going you might even be able to claim mileage and a bullet allowance..

It's more likely to be the tree-hugging libtards doing the driving and shooting. As long as it's conservative white folks BEING shot it's OK by them.

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Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

So a bit of "Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer" maybe where Führer = Zuck, or any of the usual political or business leaders* these days?

Ok.. I went there. Bad me.

*I use the term "leader" in it's broadest definition and many of those who fit couldn't lead their way out of pig's mud hole.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

'Are you aware of the difference between a statement and an argument'

The statement is your headline, the argument is the rest of your diatribe.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

but mention Hitler twice, and the 2nd Hitler councels the first. Then carry on, regardless...

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Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

There ARE no rules on the Internet...!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

Personally I'd like to see Zuckerberg stripped naked and locked in a glass cell in the middle of Trafalgar Square, with live TV cameras pointing at it. See how he likes it.

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Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

Yeah, that Zuckerberg eh? Literally Hitler!

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Paris Hilton

Re: British government: I don't care how you get the little Zuckwit here, but get him here.

""See how he likes it."

Erm....what exactly are you posting on facebook?

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Yo should be glad !

At least this way there's a remote chance the person showing up has something resembling answers.

With Zuck all of it just being more BS is a certainty.

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Re: Yo should be glad !

It doesn't matter if he spouts raw sewage out his mouth like a preteen in an Indian graveyard. It's not a matter of what he says (which as you say will probably be 5 parts bollocks and 5 parts waffle) it's a matter of he's been forced to be there to say it and has been forced to admit that the buck stops with him.

Because if it's done right Facebook will be defenseless everywhere and there are several countries and governments thereof that can get a little pointed with people they don't like or trust putting their people at any sort of risk (the Israelis for one) and a lot of Police forces who would like nothing better than five minutes with a Facebook staffer, an electric truncheon and a common or garden desk drawer. I don't know of any police who don't hate Facebook with a passion.

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Re: Yo should be glad !

"there's a remote chance the person showing up has something resembling answers."

"Resembling" answers, maybe. Providing actual answers, not a chance in the world.

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If he thought he could get away with it (and I'll bet he is counting on it in the not too distant) he would tell Congress to fuck off as well.

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Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

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Anonymous Coward

Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

If we DID send him over, you'd just send him back - so I don't see the upside for us.

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Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

I'm sure MI6 could arrange for him to accidenteliberately slit his own throat in a nice pretty tourist area somewhere for some kids to find..

Or lend him a nice big Mercedes and driver and suggest popping down to have a look at at that wonderful tourist spot known and loved as the Dartford Tunnel.. Ah, such exquisite concrete pillers - let's have a closer look..

I think they used to call those particular chaps the "ways and (very) mean committee".

If the worst comes to the worst I'm sure Porton has some Plague kicking about..

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

The Dartford Crossing is rated 2 of 5 stars on www.tripadvisor.com. As an American, I'd just have to skip for more worthy spots, like listening to Big Ben.

https://www.tripadvisor.com/Attraction_Review-g187057-d10286514-Reviews-Dartford_Crossing-Dartford_Kent_England.html

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Re: Get an extradition order out on him if the weasle won't come over.

Or they could just leave a large sports bag and a padlock in the bath for him.

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Misdirection

From the letter, "I would like to take this opportunity to also share with the Committee the outcome of out further analysis of the Countries affected by Professor Kogan's app." Any affect was only possible because Farcebook already has this data and that they shared it with all and sundry via their API. To single out Prof Kogan in this way is classic scapegoating and misdirection. Farcebook still have that data (and more) and can do with it what they wish. Are you sure it's just for slinging ads?

Oh and also, isn't it the individuals in these countries that have really been affected. What communication and apology will Farcebook make to these people.

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Re: Misdirection

To say out loud the fact that Professor Kogan engaged in misbehavior for money in now way takes away from the fact that Facebook engages in a much greater degree of misbehavior for money, nor does it take away from the fact that Cambridge Analytica engages in misbehavior for money.

There is no shortage of bad actors to call out here.

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"catastrophic failure of process"

Has there actually been a failure of process? I kind of assumed it was all working exactly as intended.

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Anonymous Coward

After the Cadbury's sellout to the yanks, didn't Parliament order some bigwig to come over and explain themselves?

Still waiting for that.....

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Anonymous Coward

The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

So let's assume that the empire of Her Majesty's United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland has a population of 67 million - http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/uk-population/.

The empire of Facebook has a population of 2.2 billion (that's American billion) - https://www.statista.com/statistics/264810/number-of-monthly-active-facebook-users-worldwide/

Do you really think that Zuckerberg honestly gives enough of a shit about a little country off the west coast of Europe to appear before a bunch of British politicians? I seriously doubt it.

If you want get rid of Facebook, start by closing your Facebook account!

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Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

You say I should start by closing my Facebook account. But to do that, I'd have to first of all open one.

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Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

Zuckwit probably doens't give a flying fig abou the UK, but does about his bank balance and when you start hittig that with massive fines, he will show up quicker than a TOWIE at a free lunch !

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Re: The size of Britain versus the the rest of the Facebook world

"If you want get rid of Facebook, start by closing your Facebook account!"

Which is, of course, the only meaningful thing you can do.

But that would involve some clarity of thinking, which is ... tricky ... when you really feel that ever-more-urgent need to check, just this once, just for a second, your FB page, in case there's an extra Like for that blurry photo of your inconsequential cat, who looks identical to a million other cats, doing something that's so side-splittingly funny that there are only 50,000 other pictures on the internet showing exactly the same thing ... which ... cats ... do.

Briefly: Why make arrangements to meet actual friends and engage them in real conversation and sharing of lives, when you could be dependent on the approval of your irretrievably banal shyte by people you've never met? Those Likes tickle your by-now-very-well-habituated pleasure centres like a few molecules of fentanyl: enjoy!

It's up to you to Just Say No, or carry on kidding yourself.

Politicians will not anything about Facebook exploiting you, for two reasons: first, FB employs lobbyists with a ton of cash, and your noble and wise elected representatives do rather like that money (in fact, if they're Tories, they breathe it); second, if you won't do anything about it yourself—why should they?

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#DeleteFacebook

Facebook is too toxic, too big, and as a company too irresponsible (or just plain evil). It's time to take this monster down about a million pegs.

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When are they going to call in the manufacturers of air that allows sound waves to propagate to explain their millenia-long part in spreading fake news?

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#DeleteFacebook

I get my hoodie.

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Anonymous Coward

At least they'll get one the head honchos

Germany's parliament committee only received the Facebook-is-great powerpoint presentation from a local rep:

https://blog.fefe.de/?ts=a44b5bef

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Ah. Nothing at all learned by Farcebook then

Meanwhile, Facebook said it was changing its Login feature to reduce the amount of data an app can request to name, profile photo and email address – any more information will need Facebook's approval.

Erm, Shouldn't that be at the users approval not Farcebooks?

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Re: Ah. Nothing at all learned by Farcebook then

"Erm, Shouldn't that be at the users approval not Farcebooks?"

It should be better than that, though - it ought to be granular, with a list of all the types of things the app wants to access, with each one having the option to agree or not (defaulting to not, obviously).

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Never had an account

That I can log into myself. However, acquaintances tell me I'm all over FB.

Kind of like the credit agencies. There is no opt-out, are you kidding?

You think they're not selling data about me or profiting off me in some way?

They seem to love linking to my non-monetized youtube channel, just one example, and I know because I get mails and comments because of it.

I know my picture gets tagged up there, as I'm told so by people with accounts.

For me, that's the issue with FB and a number of other outfits.

It's spreading too - if you're not part of the normal behavior:

If you don't have a credit rating, you can't have a MySSA account for Social Security - you can still mail with them if you can find out the address for that exact service - at a month round trip when you find out "this office doesn't handle that".

If you don't have a cellphone, try getting 2FA security on Google....

In other words, if you don't let them snoop on top of what they manage even if you opt out - you can't even have security or decent government service....

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Tax the slippery bastards

Would be nice to tax them until the pips squeak.

They can be our (tax) product then and do something useful for once.

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I doubt anyone who gave evidence to the committee before would want to show up here where they might be charged with contempt of Parliament.

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Anonymous Coward

'Facebook has revolutionized scamming.'

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-03-27/ad-scammers-need-suckers-and-facebook-helps-find-them

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Anonymous Coward

Zucky boy is not very comfortable being interrogated in public.

At the very core, he's a nerd, and ironically, a socially inept one.

Perhaps the Brits ask very hard questions.

Anyhow, his interrogation in the US Congress should be a sight to behold. Get ready your popcorn.

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How dare you underlings?

Asking for the Supremo to come to you, are you insane? Who do you think you are, the US congress? Muahahahahaha!

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Why the surprise?

1. Zuckerberg couldn't give a rat's ass about the Dumb Fucks™ unless they start leaving FB in large numbers. Like most addicts since the first taste of poppy 48,000 years ago, they'll make endless excuses to themselves ("I am in control. I could stop anytime ...") and keep on fixing up.

2. The UK's DFs voted, 37% of them, to make the country less engaged, less influential, less effective, less powerful, less relevant and themselves and their country economically vastly weaker. The DFs' representatives, who might reasonably be trademarked as the Even Dumber Fucks™, in Westminster, are busily making a disastrous hash of this process.

3. The EDFs, especially those in the current ruling party, have spent three centuries demonstrating that they are fawning lickspittles of anyone or anything with cash, will bend over forwards and drop their trousers for big business at a moment's notice, and will do everything conceivable to avoid regulation which would benefit the schmuck citizens, even unto prating transparent tosh about "self regulation", "industry policing itself", "market ethics" and whatever else floats into their teensy brains.

4. Given the venality and stupidity of the EDFs and the nicely addicted, shallow gormlessness of the citizen DFs, why on earth would Zuckerberg waste a scintilla of his time posturing in front of such a circus of castrated halfwits? What would be the point? He gets paid more for picking his nose. Sitting in front of powerless commitee of self-important halfwits who have nucleated like a large human booger, will just make his nostrils itch.

5. The US, for all that it is currently "led" by the Dumbest Of All Fucks™ , and under the sway of a laughably hypocritical, deceitful and deranged conservative party, has a history of sometimes severaly punishing bad corporate behaviour and making it stick.

6. Therefore: Zuckerberg will appear before Congress, which has teeth and the wilingness to use them. He'll even fawn over the DOAF a bit, if it protects his cash cow. In front of the cameras he will mouth anodynes and platitudes to a bunch of fat, lazy twerps. Off-screen, Facebook's lobbyists will flaunt the contents of their wallets.

7. In short, he knows who matters now.

8. With luck he'll get one of his flunkies to send Theresa May a postcard saying "Facebook U".

The acronym DOAF did not, as Wikipedia suggests, originate with "Donald, OAF".

Banking excepted, I grant you: but when you understand how banking actually works, it is simply rotten beyond belief anyway. Even former US presidents have pointed out that if citizens knew how banking enslaved and impoverished them, they'd stage a revolution. Good job they are mostly DFs, eh?

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Anonymous Coward

I've never understood...

....why things like this don't use video conferiencing? Working at a local government IT department for several years, even that department still doesn't use such tech and forces it's staff or managers to travel miles to other sites. It's stupid.

I still think Mark has anxiety issues when it comes to doing talks like this. He's OK and promoting Facebook but I don't think he'd be good at being questioned hence he never agrees to these talks.

I still say, if you use Facebook that is a service that cost a lot to run but you're using it for free, you can't really moan what they do with your data.

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Where are all these people who've been omni present for the last 5 odd years?

Always on the front the paper (Zuckerberg).

Always making a big thing about being a woman (Sandberg), with a dead husband, etc.

Oh we'll do this, Im great, Im a humble billionaire wank.

Where are they now?

Wheres the justisfication for their vast remuneration?

Earn your money cunts.

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Get Zucked

What right do those MPs think they have to compel an American company's CEO to appear before them exactly?

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Anonymous Coward

we would still like to hear from Mark Zuckerberg as well

court order, extradition order, jump suit, and he's on the next cattle-truck flight to London, no?

...

oh, I see.

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Zuckerburg - Won't pay tax and won't visit

This all seem perfectly in line with the Facebook approach to the UK - if he and his company won't pay taxes here, then why would he take advantage of our public services by visiting a bunch of public sector drones seeking to gain favourable publicity whilst filling their otherwise dreary days? After all, this what empires do: suck out money whilst contributing little.

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Meanwhile, Facebook said it was changing its Login feature to reduce the amount of data an app can request to name, profile photo and email address – any more information will need Facebook's approval.

Shouldn't that be the approval of the person using it?

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"Shouldn't that be the approval of the person using it?"

I think there may be a misunderstanding here. I think what FB is saying is that if you submit an app to Facebook for use by Facebook members, then, if that app has a requirement for more data than name, photo and email, it will need further approval by Facebook before launch. Of course the end user can always refuse privileges to an app at the point of installation/use (at least in theory, eh?).

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FAIL

Not Surprising

If you were Mark Zuckerberg would you be bothered to face an committee of toothless MP's who will not have a significant impact on your billion dollar business ?

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