back to article Zuckerberg thinks he's cyber-Jesus – and publishes a 6,000-word world-saving manifesto

Whatever Mark Zuckerberg's taking, we want some, too. Because last night it looks like the Zuck stayed up late with a couple of university freshmen and solved the world's problems, making sure they wrote it down so they didn't wake up in the morning and forget it. Behold a 6,000-word manifesto from the CEO and cofounder of …

  1. Justicesays

    So the solution

    To Fake News, and people self selecting online into extremist echo chambers (due to a combination of semi-anonymity and a wide audience allowing "like minded" people to reinforce each others minority beliefs), would be for Facebook to buy Twitter and then shut themselves down?

    Because they are part of the problem, and no where near the solution.

    It's like he's invented a bio-weapon and is now trying to figure out how it can "do good".

    1. bazza Silver badge

      Re: So the solution

      It's like he's invented a bio-weapon and has lost control of it and now it's been used by some foreign power to cause immense damage at home and everyone he meets is saying "How could you be so ****ing stupid?" and is now trying to figure out how it can "do good".

      Fixed it for you!

  2. Mark 85 Silver badge

    The only thing missing from Z's meanderings...

    ... was suggesting we all gather together and sing "Kumbaya". Followed, of course, by several personally relevant ads and maybe a cat video or two...

    1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: The only thing missing from Z's meanderings...

      maybe a cat video or two...

      Oi! Don't knock the Cat Video. Some things are sacred y'know.

      1. IsJustabloke Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: The only thing missing from Z's meanderings...

        "Oi! Don't knock the Cat Video. Some things are sacred y'know."

        I agree, if FB comprised of nothing but cats being cats and causing consternation among their servants, it would have improved the quality of everyone's life.

        I'm always slightly conflicted about FB, as a semi pro photographer having a facebook "page" is a great help to me in reaching people, I have a personal page as well, nothing on it is true in any sense of thw word but I use it to stay in casual touch (by which I mean the kind of contact I'd have with them by bumping into them in the street rather than needing to make a determined effort to ring/write them) with family in New Zealand and friends in Canada and the USA ( as well as people that live the other end of the country from me) and in that respect I don't really have that much of a problem with the whole social network thing but the way a lot of people use it makes me fear for the future sanity of a lot of people...

        PS Zuck is a bit of twat. I think he's channeling jobs but without the talent, style or charisma

  3. P. Lee Silver badge

    >so long as you maintain this level of delusion over the actual role that Facebook has in people's lives and in society, you are actually a big part of the problem.

    Indeed. Isolating liberals from reality in the world largest echo-chamber. Enticing them to abandon action in the real-world in favour of self-absorbing involvement with their phones; bombarding them with all the things they "like", distracting them other, more important things; channelling them into commercially safe causes - turning on rainbow filters on their profile pictures, instead of worrying about whether the war on terror might be killing far more people than its saving. Maybe they should stop focussing on which toilets 2.5% of the population want to use and contemplate how to support the 50% of the world's population who live on less than $2.50 per day. Maybe they should question whether prisons should be a commercial venture and if that has an impact on law-making. Maybe they should organise politically to support a candidate who does not have funding ties to big-business.

    So many options. Maybe some of them are more important than seeing what the cat of a school-friend from twenty years ago is doing with a ball of wool.

    1. sabroni Silver badge

      re: Isolating liberals from reality in the world largest echo-chamber.

      Just liberals?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: re: Isolating liberals from reality in the world largest echo-chamber.

        Oh yes, those nasty liberal people with their "socialist ideas" like affordable health care for all citizens without barriers when you have a pre-existing condition, or state parks, or the roads, or our military. Yes, even the military is a "socialist" construct; it serves all of our nation, not just the white, Christian terrorists and their cheerleaders. The only thing that moron carefully missed is that religions, and the fanatical crazy people who believe killing is an awesome directive from their made-up-story-book, are not to blame for most all problems of the world. In his tiny mind there were never any white, Christian terrorist attacks in the USA. When we all know otherwise. Conservative people are so loving and well-mannered and would do anything to help out a neighbor (unless you are not white). It is known.

        "Liberals" is the pretend-offensive term that assholes use to make our hard-won freedoms sound like an evil doctrine that must be stopped at any cost. How DARE we have an opinion that does not carefully dovetail with his own, fucked up view of the world! Wait, you'll hear this asshole cry "political incorrectness is ruining my life" next. That's another term these idiots like to use to gloss over what it means; common human decency. No, this is another useless, White, Racist, Christian secretly cheering whenever some other White, Racist, Christian bombs a government building with a daycare operation in it, or an abortion clinic, or murder a doctor. This is another White, Racist, gun-nut afraid of his own shadow, because it's not white. What a fucking creep. I guess I should explain the great hypocrisy of the "we're always right, even when we're wrong" mentality idiots like this seem to not recognize in themselves, but that does nothing. Idiots can't learn new things, and everything they think or do is fully vetted and correct in every way, but only their own mind. In the end, he'll just fly off the handle when the world doesn't bend his way, and shoot up his place of work, or some other bunch of innocents, so that they can pay for the offences he constructs inside his head they transgressed. A sad kook, unable to get help, pretending he doesn't need any. That's what I can glean from his diatribe, along with his race, sex and who he voted for. Easy to spot, hard to get rid of. :P

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He really is a total ranga cunt who thinks he's created some masterpiece, a work of creative genius rather than just an electronic pied piper for fucking idiots with precious little else to do but share their meaningless existence with all and sundry. His shitty website will solve fuck all so he should just stick to selling everyone else's data.

  5. Paper

    Pfft globalism

    Globalism so far has turned out to be the biggest threat to humanity, with more death in the wars of the last century than probably the whole of humanity before.

    I envision the world like a town. Just because I live in the same town. It's about being good neighbours, not room mates. Half of you urinate on the toilet seat, and I therefore don't want you in my home. I have a habit of keeping my shoes on which I'm sure doesn't gel with half of you either. We don't all have to live in the same house, however if I live in your house, I expect to play by your rules, and vice versa. Besides, I hardly like my current room mates anyway...

    1. IsJustabloke Silver badge

      Re: Pfft globalism

      "with more death in the wars of the last century than probably the whole of humanity before."

      TBF that has as much to do with the fact that we have had much better death dealing tech than in previous centuries.

      1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

        Re: Pfft globalism

        "TBF that has as much to do with the fact that we have had much better death dealing tech than in previous centuries."

        Not so. Genghiz Khan's hordes probably killed over 15 million people using very basic technology, and if the population density had been greater he would have killed a lot more.

        One of the most effective weapons in the Russian fightback in WW2 after they had lost almost all their tank part in incompetence in 1941 - was cavalry units operating behind the lines.

  6. Eric Hunt
    Big Brother

    Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

    He's angling for POTUS.

    His personal challenge for 2017: to visit and meet with people in all 50 states by the end of the year.

    Now this.

    After watching The Orange Rump fumble his way to the soon-to-be-gold-house who can blame him?

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

      Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

      I think you're right.

      Or possibly the next Messiah?

      I've only seen the start of "The Social Network" but the line from his ex-girlfriend seems spot on.


      "You think people don't like you because you're a geek. It's not. It's because you're an a**hole"

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

        "Or possibly the next Messiah?"

        I am completely happy with that so long as the Sanhedrin and the Prefect deal with it the same way as the last one.

        1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

          ""Or possibly the next Messiah?""

          We should put a stop to this right now.

          He's not the Messiah.

          He's a very naughty boy.

        2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

          Sanhedrin and the Prefect

          Upvoted for using (mostly) the correct terms. "Prefect" should be "Procurator" but I'll let you off..

          1. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

            Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

            "Prefect" should be "Procurator" but I'll let you off..

            The Pilate Stone (discovered 1961) says

            ...NTIUS PILATUS...ECTUS IUDA...

            which does not agree with "Procurator" but does agree with "praefectus", thus modern scholarship regards him as having been the prefect.

            But because it's Friday, and because you may have left school stopped doing Latin by 1961, I'll let you off.

            1. VIA_KT133

              Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

              Tu, ego amo te.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Mr Bookface wants to be President. Like?

      Nothing, and I mean nothing would surprise me anymore. Gates vs Zuck 2020 anyone?

  7. Winkypop Silver badge


    I've heard of it.

  8. wikkity

    Our greatest opportunities ... lifting people out of poverty

    "lifting people out of poverty", an opportunity? FFS, this is not an opportunity, this is what you referred to in the bit about humanity, not "All those pictures and updates"

  9. Grunchy

    I guess he must have meant well

    I used to run a BBS back in the 1980s and it devolved into pettiness, plus had hyper-limited market so I got out of it. A lot of effort with zero potential for monetary gain and nothing but grief. I guess the internet has changed a couple parts of that, but you'd have to be pretty slimy to make a BBS into a business.


    Hey! I have a good idea for safety. We had a home invasion here in Canada where the family was kidnapped and later tortured and executed, then burned up as cremation. Terrible, horrible story. Anyway it occurred to me, yeah it'd be great if you had a house alarm, like the school has a fire alarm. Like you could punch your NEST thermostat in the nose and it'd start squawking and calling 911 for you. Anyway, that doesn't exist yet I do believe, but I guess I could keep my car alarm button near to bed. So that way if somebody breaks in I could press that car alarm button, which might scare away the intruder. As an "intruder alert" as like Berzerk.

    Oh no, did I just zuckerberg? whups.

  10. Oengus Silver badge

    Facebook stands for bringing us closer together and building a global community.

    Facebook stands for data mining to provide more targeted ads and higher advertising revenue and making me richer.


  11. DocJames


    I'm not a particular fan of facebook [insert further virtue signalling to el reg commentariat here], but don't think Z needs that much condemnation for this.

    He's thinking about making the world a better place. Sure this is illogical, has the tech utopianism, hand-wavy vagueness and disconnect from most people's lives that you would expect but that doesn't make it bad/evil, and it is not wrong of him to say it.

    It's an example of "if all you have is Facebook, every problem looks like a lack of friends". Or more generally, expertise and success in one area is not automatically transferable to others.

    1. SundogUK

      Re: hmmm

      "He's thinking about making the world a better place."

      Stalin thought he was making the world a better place.

      Hitler thought he was making the world a better place.

      Mao thought he was making the world a better place.

      Hell, Genghis Khan probably thought he was making the world a better place.

      We don't need people trying to make the world a better place, we need them to fuck off and leave us alone.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: hmmm

        Genghis Khan probably thought he was making the world a better place.

        Actually, he probably was. For a lawful-neutral value of "good"..

  12. PhilipN Silver badge

    What the ......?!!

    El Reg's hack's opening paragraph spot on.

    This would be laughable (as well as sick-making) save that it emanates from a guy who wields influence - as much if not more by virtue of the law of unintended consequences than by design.

    Worse : completely delusional. This piece could have been written by a hyped-up Robinson Crusoe - the lord and master of his domain - oops - the only one in it - before he saw the footprint in the sand.

    I often wonder how the World manages to work at all but it sure as hell is not going to change because of this sophomoric nonsense.

  13. Milton Silver badge

    Predictably facile and sophomoric

    Zuckerberg neatly demonstrates that skill in one area (he made a website once, I think?), even coupled with fair though unspectacular intelligence, doesn't qualify you to pontificate on matters you do not really understand.

    He gets ever closer to the mistake made by most politicians - mistaking his own prominence for inflated expertise and wisdom.

    It won't wash. Facebook is doing some good in the world, and a lot of damage as social media creates a culture of superficial infantilisation. We don't need an increasingly egotistical need to spout half baked tosh - we need a return to adulthood.

    1. IsJustabloke Silver badge

      Re: Predictably facile and sophomoric

      "He gets ever closer to the mistake made by most politicians - mistaking his own prominence for inflated expertise and wisdom."

      TBF this isn't limited to politicians.. it includes, actors, musicians, "reality TV stars" as well....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Predictably facile and sophomoric

        TBF it's all humans who do that. I know shitty programmers that "gift" me a shitty script and think that they're "passing down great knowledge from on high," or the jumped-up plumber who knows "all of life's secrets," except for knowing anything about subjects that are not toilets, or how not to look like a plumber. There a lots of people who think they have some awesome knowledge that must be conveyed, if only people could understand it! I know teenagers who have their shit together better than most adults, along with being humble. And I know old people who are not fucking wise at all, just out-of-touch in very specific ways. So many people think they are a wise-sage, except the people who really are. Think about THAT when you're scarfing down your scone?!

        No, isolation, and having the resources to craft a false world surrounding yourself with "yes men" or "yes messages" is what makes a smashingly delusional CEO. That, or over-permissive parenting and being too wealthy without working hard for it. :P

  14. Aaiieeee

    A nice dream, sure.

    You know how every few years your brain unhelpfully reminds you of various stupid things you did or said in front of people (which made you feel stupid) and you cring and wish it never happened? Well, be happy that you usually don't do it on a global scale and that you can hope that none of the people remember it any more.

    I think everone wants what Mark is talking about and it sounds good (and makes us feel good) to talk about the problems as it tricks us into thinking we are *doing* when we actually are not. What is lacking here are any real solutions with some backing money, or a down to earth acknowledgement of the human condition or general human nature (selfishness and greed etc) which has and always will keep this Uptia in the realms of fantasy. A perfect example here is that Mark failed to acknowledge that his wealth is built on the fact people don't know or understand about privacy, personal information, and advertising, and dont know how value them properly. At a base level this is not alturism but greed which he has leveraged that into a successful business that we all wish we had thought of. If he was as compassionate as he wants us to believe in this article then to help people he'd have ensured their data isn't sold and their privacy is intact... but then he wouldn't make any money and who wants to start an enterprise to not make money? The reality is at odds with the fantasy.

    If he plowed vast sums of money into useful projects or rolled up his sleeves and assisted real people on the ground then I could respect what he was saying. Till then, as the article noted, he is probably high.

  15. Forget It

    Cyber-Jesus ?

    Q: Who is my neighbour?

    A: I'll google that for you.

  16. John Smith 19 Gold badge

    So you have a choice of views.

    a) It's his well meaning but misguided view of to create (to coin a phrase) "Better living through Facebook." It's not bad, it's just sad.

    b) It's self serving BS from a megalomaniacal narcissistic designed to make him look better and generate more attention on FB (I presume it's on FB), possibly with a view to entering politics.

    I'll leave others to answer that one.

    If FB is "new media" does this make Z the first challenger to Rupert Murdoch?

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Of course Zuckerberg isn't an ego-maniac"

    * - Its just that 'Privacy is dead' because he says so... So Facebook is entitled to slurp whenever they want whoever they want! Meanwhile Zuk is just 'Connecting the world'... 'Connecting the world'...

    * - Its like a demonic mantra. Never ever acknowledging selling users out to advertisers or corrupt governments. Zuk basically blames populist plebs for screwing up his vision of globalisation.

    * - But... If you sell out your granny to Ad-Men / Govt Agencies, then buy up houses and islands to build a fortress around YOUR OWN privacy... What's that called? ... Is having a dedicated team to manage your homepage every day showing off Zuk's sociopathic / psychopathic tendencies???

    * - The mainstream media paints Zuk as a visionary. But imagine if the 'leader' had his own middle eastern kingdom or SE-Asian / Latam country... Do we need yet another North Korea???

    * - But hey, most users don't care for any of this. Most have nothing to hide. Privacy is overrated just like virginity. So get rid of it! Well, its happening, welcome to the new cult of surveillance capitalism.

    * - But that still leaves whistleblowers, human rights activists and investigative journalists hung out to dry. FB basically exposes anyone who helps root out corruption or keeps 'The Elite' in check. The new UK / US laws confirm this! Plus, in other places its actually a matter of life and death. Not just the middle east, Latam has deadly corruption, Asia does too.

    * - So privacy is no longer about individual privacy. When users in the West care, that in-turn helps protect the more vulnerable in less fortunate territories. Why? Because necessary questions get asked. Just like Zuk evicting indigenous people from their own island didn't wash this time.

  18. BobC


    Never before has an online publication taken such a bullet for me, rescuing me from the meanderings of a tech-gazillionaire who clearly took no liberal arts in college.

    Love you all. Pints all around if I ever make it to Blightly.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    A thought

    Hmmm, it might be worth remembering FB has engineers working on things other than their website:

    So, they seem able to prototype / develop solutions for at least some forms of IRL problems too.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Transation of Article

    Hey guys, I'm having a hard time at the moment. The stockholders are starting to revolt because we are not making enough profit. In order to continue with our mission to save the world I need your Dosh, lots of it and pronto.

    I'm sure that the word save was misspelled and SLAVE used instead but some sleazebag lawyer changed it.

    You can rebel and desert the FB ship. You did it before with MySpace and you can do it again.

    Not a FB user and never knowingly will be.

  21. gal5

    How about starting simple - stop draining mobile batteries in the background? Just the amount of batteries replaced due to facebook app drain is doing a lot of damage.

  22. wolfetone Silver badge

    A girl I knew once dated a guy who, quite proudly, pulled his pants down to reveal a tattoo on his arse, which read "100% C**t".

    That man, was Mark Zuckerberg.

    *starred out C**t because it's not 9am yet, the tattoo wasn't starred out.

    1. John Smith 19 Gold badge

      "A girl I knew.." "a tattoo on his arse, which read "100% C**t"."

      Sounds like a UL to me.. or another Mark Zuckerberg (6Bn+ on the planet. Got to be at least two of them).


      a)The FB Zuckerberg doesn't look the sort to handle the amount of pain that would involve

      b)He seems to lack the introspection needed to realize he actually is a bit of a c**t a lot of the time.

      But who knows? Perhaps he's a deeply thoughtful individual who often ponders the human condition and the plight of humanity and is often disappointed by his own behavior.

      No, I don't believe that for a second, but there's just a snowballs chance in Hell it might be true.

  23. John Savard Silver badge


    And here I thought you were talking about the Book that could Save the World, about the "Human Condition". When I looked at the site, which is, I guess why I saw their ads, their idea was that we were all happy and peaceful when we were animals, but when we started thinking rationally for ourselves, then we started doing evil things like murder.

    Since the conventional wisdom hasn't solved the world's problems - that the biggest cause of crime is impulsive behavior, where people act on their animal instincts instead of using rational thought - I guess trying something different, and turning around 180 degrees from common sense might make sense. But somehow I doubt it.

    Still, saying that Adam should just vomit up that apple does have precedent behind it...

  24. regprentice

    I dont think this kind of thinking is limited to zuckerberg or facebook. I work for a large bank where every app, product or 'interaction' is life changing, unique, revolutionary. Zuckerberg just has it worse than most other ceos, in direct proportion to the value of his company presumably.same logic applies to apple.

    My employer 'lifted people out of poverty' last year by not paying me a bonus and instead using the bonus pool cash to start paying cleaning/admin staff the 'living wage' instead of the 'minimum wage'. Tart up a change you were going to have to make anyway as altruism.

    I pity the poor bastards now at facebook who have targets set around this new mission statement. Not cured aids by lunchtime? Your fired go work for bebo.

    1. Alistair Silver badge

      @ regprentice

      "Your fired go work for bebo."

      I have young children and believe that belly buttons don't make a very good salary.

  25. Mage Silver badge

    The Anti-christ?

    "Today we are close to taking our next step." That's today. It's happening right now and, let's be honest, most of it is happening on Facebook. All those pictures and updates – that is where the real work of humanity is occurring right now.

    That's so delusional.

    Facebook steals privacy, enables, bullying, causes depression. Email, Skype and phone are better for families scattered apart to stay in touch. You need email and phone to register with facebook.

    Crimes against humanity.

  26. Roj Blake Silver badge

    Interconnected World

    I'm not against an interconnected world, but I am against an interconnected world run by cockwombles like Zuckerberg.

    1. TeeCee Gold badge

      Re: Interconnected World

      Thank you. You just saved me the trouble of writing something very like that, which would also have used the word "Cockwomble".

  27. mix

    Time to die...

    The best thing he could contribute to society right now is to turn the whole thing off and let humanity find something else to occupy its time, like solving world problems.

  28. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Have an upvote

    For mentioning the species of humanity called 'cockwombles'.

    Have one on me for that

  29. Sparkypatrick

    "[W]e built social empower us to achieve things we couldn't on our own."

    Zuck's actually not wrong about this. Sure, we group together for mutual defence; but that's an example of a thing we cannot achieve on our own. It's also not the only reason we come together and secondary in the long run to achieving economic benefit.

    The rest is deluded, self-aggrandising bullshit.

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