back to article Inside our three-month effort to attend Apple's iPhone 7 launch party

It's been a number of years since an Apple PR staffer secretly admitted to one of our reporters that The Register was on a blacklist. We also learned that they were under strict instructions never to admit to the blacklist – presumably because it would make one of the world's largest companies look, you know, pathetically …

Bronze badge

The Shawshank option

Write a letter (not email) a week to Tim Cook, sure he can ignore you but persistence pays off.

8
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: The Shawshank option

Dear Mr.McCarthy,

In response to your repeated enquiries, Apple has allocated the enclosed funds for your review projects. In addition, the Apple Store has generously responded with a charitable donation of used iPads and chargers. We trust this will fill your needs. We now consider this matter closed. Please stop sending us emails.

"From now on, I'll send two emails a week".

18
0

Re: The Shawshank option

They tried it with Jobs. He took the easy way out instead of replying.

3
0

To be banned or not to be banned

Not sure what the intent was here. In some ways, Apple is doing the Reg a favour by blacklisting it. It gives you that manly touch. (Hmmm. Is that what I meant?)

Anyway, in support of your struggle against the fruity beast, I have only licked my MacBook Pro twice today.

9
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: To be banned or not to be banned

Licking your laptop?

* tries it *

I'm a proud Windows licker!!!!

14
0

Re: To be banned or not to be banned

"I'm a proud Windows licker"

I hope you were holding it correctly.

3
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: To be banned or not to be banned

I'm a proud Windows licker!!!!

With Windows 10? <shudder>

2
0
Silver badge

Re: To be banned or not to be banned

> "I'm a proud Windows licker!!!!"

Very good. Now adjust your helmet, and wipe your chin.

4
0
Happy

great!

3
0
Joke

Well could Adam ever get back in to the walled garden

to take another taste of the Apple?

Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven.

Milton 1667

11
0
Silver badge

Consumerism

Consumerism is based upon the stupidity of it's audience.

Apple understand's the need for it consumers to never know any true facts, all it requires is that the "payed for" media publishing articles continue tp promote the ideal that buying an Apple Product will provide a seat at the table of the Gods..

Apple do have some good products, although not all, but that is not their even their core business, regardless of their initial goals they have simply become a marketing and distribution outlet and hey are very, very good at it.

Hence, El Reg will never get an invite because they are likely to make an honest review, which is far too much of a risk in relation to "Steve Jobs'" marketing strategy procedural guidelines..

I can easily imagine that their actual strategy goes along the lines of "If you can fool most of the people most of the time, you've won".

13
0
Anonymous Coward

Hopefully...

I don't get in trouble for reading this story. The wonders of having an IP address that begins with 17.

28
0
Silver badge

Re: Hopefully...

I had to Google that to confirm but yes I can see why you'd be worried. I'm surprised the black list doesn't extend to filtering el Reg at the firewall. Side note, does Apple really need 16 million IP addresses?

6
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Hopefully...

Yes, I noticed a few days ago they have a full class A (experimenting with VisualSniff :) ) which is IMHO a tad wasteful - that would have helped a lot of people in need of IPv4 static addresses.

4
1

Re: Hopefully...

I get the feeling that the likes of Apple would rather destroy something than give it away.

(not that you can "destroy" an IP address, but they'll never let someone else use something even if they don't have a use for it.)

6
0

Re: Hopefully...

16 million IP addresses does indeed seem like a lot, but the amount of relief that might have provided had they managed to return say half of them to the overall pool would have been minimal. Only ever so slightly postponing the inevitable.

And in the case of Apple, they perhaps use a goodly chunk of those IPs not on a per-employee basis as much as in their cloud presence.

3
1

Re: Hopefully...

Whilst Apple clearly don't need 16 million IPs, at least they are in the right industry. I'd like to understand why Ford have a need for 16 million IPs.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_assigned_/8_IPv4_address_blocks#List_of_assigned_.2F8_blocks

2
0

Re: Hopefully...

Apple got in very early in the IP-address game.

At some point, they also wanted to launch their own ISP (don't remember the name) - it's long since buried.

When I got my first dedicated server, I got a sheet of paper from my co-lo where I could select the number of IPs I needed. Anything from 1024 to 8 was possible.

That was in 2001.

They could of course have returned them, but they (probably) rightly assumed they would become very valuable. And you don't return IPs unless you know they're more of a burden than an asset.

0
0

Re: Hopefully...

> I'd like to understand why Ford have a need for 16 million IPs.

IoT for Ford cars.

Solved.

1
1

Re: Hopefully...

What you should really be worried about is the 16 million allocated to the Department for Work and Pensions in the UK.

One for everyone soon to be unemployed?

1
1
Silver badge

Interesting

To be honest I have a degree of sympathy. You seem to manage to combine persistence with a little too much snide and sarcasm — maybe this goes with the territory? — but I can't see it being very persuasive with the gatekeepers: unless you're Donald Trump calling someone a moron usually doesn't get their vote.

What I would do is go with this kind of information to Samsung, Huawei, et al. and see whether it opens any doors. Apple's attitude seems to be that it doesn't need "lowly" media like The Register. Of course, any company with a product to sell needs the media whores to get the message out, especially if the innovation train starts to slow.

I like Apple's approach to streaming the event as well: Safari or Edge. Because? This says more about arrogance and fuckwittery than anything else: they're excluding around 70% of internet users like this. That's obviously a lot of customers they're not interested in either!

4
8

Re: Interesting

I think your sympathy may be misplaced. It may be worth considering that the content of each Apple email was knowingly false. The sarcasm was simply a way of acknowledging the fact I was aware of it.

29
0
Silver badge
Meh

Re: Interesting

"The sarcasm was simply a way of acknowledging the fact I was aware of it."

Sorry. Apple doesn't understand sarcasm. I was in a one-to-one chat a while back with the "complaint" that a non-GPS iThingy doesn't know where it is, there is no legitimate method to register a WiFi SSID to a location (other than having a GPS enabled iThingy in its proximity), and Siri is so utterly broken that you can't even tell it "assume I'm HERE" (wherever "here" is). So all of the location-based questions fail with "I don't know where you are".

After going in circles for half an hour (I was bored, nothing on telly) and getting no "joy" and "wondrous feelings" (etc), I let my default British sarcasm kick in.

Which was somewhat deflated by a completely took-the-sarcasm-seriously response. I mean, my God, it's almost as if I was speaking to Siri itself.

So. No. Don't expect sarcasm to be a recognised behaviour pattern.

8
0
Silver badge

Re: Interesting

@Kieren

Like I said, I'm not a journalist so I don't know what you have to do to get on with companies. I'm usually pretty abrasive myself, but it still strikes me as odd that you think you'll get anywhere by essentially insulting them. Doesn't seem that smart to me but whatever works.

In any case, it doesn't sounds like you missed much: Apple removed the headphone jack from the phone; played some catch up with Android and ported retro games. And still no new Macs.

So, pretty much as Paul Graham predicted at PyCon in 2012: Apple has run out of ideas.

4
0
Silver badge

Re: Interesting

> ... it still strikes me as odd that you think you'll get anywhere by essentially insulting them...

I feel you're missing the point. Given that Apple is apparently incapable of recognising sarcasm, there was nothing insulting there. A patronising restatement of facts (perfectly acceptable, given Apple representatives' patronising restatements of non-facts), maybe, but no actual insults.

Plus, ElReg is the blacklist, so Apple aren't even listening.

4
0

Too bad there isn't a way to confirm if someone requested a seat after yours and received one at one of the other media outlets.

6
0
Anonymous Coward

It's not unique to tech - Ferrari has a blacklist that has included various high-profile car reviewers who dared to say they were anything other than brilliant. What's interesting is when the said journo ends up at a significant publication, then suddenly they're no longer blacklisted...

Maybe Apple reads the comments on El Reg and realises that commentards who think anything you need to pay for is, by definition, inferior, isn't their target market so there's nothing much for them to lose by not having coverage?

TBH, the main reason I real the Reg is to see how you're taking the p^ss out of stuff rather than to get really informative reviews...

8
2
Silver badge

The damage seems all to Apple

Russell Baker once described covering the US Senate as "waiting for someone to come out of a room and lie to me." What does physical presence offer a reporter as against watching the webcast? If reporters get to ask questions (and dare ask questions that don't qualify them for permanent wait list status), then yes, there is some slight harm. If not, the events sound a bit like the opening show for the latest Star Wars movie: bragging rights, and a chance to commune with fellow enthusiasts.

(Yes, I'm ignoring the expense of buying the toys to review.)

How about making a stunt out of it? Say a small charitable fund offering $10/head for every authenticated slot on an Apple live event media waitlist?

2
0
Anonymous Coward

IP Addresses

The same question could be asked of HP, IBM and a good few others.

As for the topic under discussion,

As the general concensus of this site is that Apple is Evil etc etc, why not just stop reporting anything they do. Become an Apple free zone.

Go on, you know you want to.

2
2
Anonymous Coward

Re: IP Addresses

HP, IBM, Apple etc. all got their IP addresses before the Network Address Translation concept got going; when the Internet was built from WAN links between campus LANs; and when the great unwashed only had dial BBSes as an option.

So it made sense for big organisations to be given class A or B addresses. The place I worked at circa 1990 got a class B, just like that... and with only about 2000 nodes in the LAN.

1
0
Silver badge
Pint

The same question could be asked of HP ...

Now there's a thought ...

Turn up at a prestigious fruity event with an appropriately large and outrageous "presentation" of some kind, bring lots of folks along, be very gushingly nice and persistant ...

You know, you've done it before - you naughty vultures.

For bonus points, video stream the thing while a few hacks try to dodge "security" and get into the hall. If they succeed, keep a low profile inside but video stream that as well, including the inevitable ejections.

Pro tip: I was told many years ago of a London Uni who, one rag week, sent a bunch of students into Harrods with collecting tins in the form of a crocodile of stapled together plastic macs. (No that'd be too cruel - leave it for next time.) 'Arrods security made the classic error of breaking up the crocodile - so all the bits went off in different directions. I was told it was nearly an hour before they found and ejected all the bits.

Wholet you inn then?

2
0
Silver badge

Re: IP Addresses

"So it made sense for big organisations to be given class A or B addresses. "

No, it never did. USA greed.

There must be 100s of millions of unused never mind wasted IPs in USA.

3
1
Anonymous Coward

Re: As the general concensus of this site is that Apple is Evil etc etc

They have disdain for all the mega tech corps. Yet it's only when they take the piss out of Apple that it upsets you....

3
0
Silver badge

Re: IP Addresses

"No, it never did. USA greed."

I think it's more 'incompetence' than greed. Hence a class A being used for the loopback... because I really, really need 16 million possible addresses to test my NIC is working.

0
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Holy crap!

This is why I love El Reg.

8
0
Silver badge
Holmes

Smart move, Apple

I just peeked at some live feeds. If The Reg is thinking what I'm thinking, it's probably in Apple's best interest that you're not covering it. It's singing, a couple of iPhone game releases, and desperately trying to convince people that iWatches are a big thing.

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Smart move, Apple

Exactly what I was thinking.

You don't need to be there in the flesh as Apple did say several times, it was all streamed. That means you don't have to sit and endure all the boring crap that seems to take around 80% of these events. You could be playing Pokemon go while keeping a watching eye on the event.

That would be far more productive in the long run.

Frankly, it is time apple stopped these cringe worthy events and just got the journo's to play with the new kit for a lot longer. Replace the presentation with a few dozen PPT slides.

Then the world would be a better place all round apart from here where the Apple Haters (see previous posts in this thread where at least one post said 'I hate Apple') would not have an opportunity to vent their spleen. win some, lose some.

I did chuckle at the emai thread. It was just like trying to get blood from a stone. Well done El Reg for persistence well beyond the call of normal duty.

7
1
Mushroom

Fuck crApple.

See title.

What, you need more?

3
1
Silver badge

Re: Fuck crApple.

"crApple" Luv It; right up there with crApita (tm) Private Eye

1
0

screw them

it's shiny, over priced, has rounded corners and that's about it.

why are they even relevant on a tech site? shouldn't they be covered by some fashion or tabloid channel?

11
3
Anonymous Coward

Re: screw them

They almost always are.

If it weren't for the entertainment value of seeing them screw up and get ridiculed, I'd say Apple were pretty much useless.

1
0
Silver badge

Apple are p****s

Ask them about this when you see them:

"Free VPN Proxy by Betternet | Unlimited VPN to Access Any Site"

Rated 4+

Asked them to at least rate it as high as Google Chrome (which is rated 18+ as it allows unlimited access to the Internet) so that kids in school or at home aren't able to basically bypass any kind of age restriction on an Apple device:

Official Apple Response:

"Though I do understand your concern with the application, it is the developer that determines the rating of the app as the iTunes Store is solely a store front for the purchase."

2 years on, the app is still rated 4+.

How many parents realise their kiddiewinks can install a free app that lets them get onto porn, when they set up their iPads with their family age restrictions fully turned on? And that that app is offered by Apple itself with knowing consent and only the developer (who at one point advertised it as "bypass your school filters" on the iTunes store) can get that changed.

Whereas Google Chrome is still rated 18+ on the same store for allowing you to go on "any website"...

13
1
Silver badge

To apples credit they do allow you to create kids iTunes accounts linked to a family account so that an adult has to authorise all downloads.

It works really well too.

Personally my kids have an iPad each MY phone is an HTC, my tablet is a nexus and my PCs run windows, I have an apple work phone, which occasionally pops up saying the kids want to download something... Never anything dodgy.

2
0

Perhaps one day....

You may be invited to an Apple event. The first one after the Dell takeover of Apple. That'd be a Dell of a thing.

5
0
Silver badge

Re: Perhaps one day....

Nah. You know if they somehow implode and lose all that hundred gazzillion dollars stashed in the bank and have to lay off their engineering and marketing talent then it will be Microsoft that buys them out for $100 billion. Then they will use that new found IP to change the way that you end a call (dragging the contact to the trash).

3
1
Silver badge
Meh

A suggestion

At the start of any review of any Apple product:

"We asked Apple for information about XYZ but they refused. We have also frequently asked to attend their events but they have always refused that too."

5
0
Silver badge

Re: A suggestion

Could add

"we asked for an interview but no spokesman was available"

And

"their words are spoken by an actor"

10
0

Re: A suggestion

Actor-wise, can we see if the guy who used to do Gerry Adams in a silly high-pitched squeak for the Beeb is still available? Let's see how those keynotes sound then...

1
0
Silver badge

Re: A suggestion

> We asked Apple for information about XYZ but they refused

Why not "We asked Apple for information about XYZ but they said they weren't competent to answer."?

And when you do get your hands an Apple product (e.g. by buying one, if you dare), review it by simply listing the features it's claimed to have, and mark each one "we don't comment on rumours or speculation". Short review, obviously, but more useful than a sycophantic one.

2
0
Anonymous Coward

Its all your fault

In your emails, you did come across as desperate to attend. Why do you even bother?

Its only a fucking phone and a watch, after all.(although Apple would like you to think it is manna from heaven, blessed by St.Jobs as his last dying wish for the sheeple which also wipes your bottom everyday after sitting on the throne)

Unless you are a secret admirer of all things Apple and a hypocrite.

0
20

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017