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back to article Thai bloke battles jumbo python in toilet todger thriller

A Thai chap's "morning routine of a shower and protracted bowel movement" was rudely interrupted earlier this week when a 4-metre python clamped its laughing gear round his todger as he squatted over the throne. According to an eye-watering report by Khaosod English - (some pics quite possibly NSFW) - Atthaporn Boonmakchuay of …

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        1. ShadowDragon8685
          Reply Icon

          Re: Is it just me, or...

          Does that mean that if two other people complain about not being able to find it without searching, the Bastard Operator from Hell will be given its own entry on the navbar at the top?

          0 0 Reply
      2. Paul Renault
        Reply Icon

        Re: Is it just me, or...

        Thanks. I did not know that!

        13 0 Reply
        1. Dave 126 Silver badge
          Reply Icon

          Re: Is it just me, or...

          Well, have an upvote for hanging around and taking the resulting sarcasm with good grace.

          Welcome to the Register, Mr Renault!

          14 0 Reply
      3. PNGuinn
        Reply Icon
        IT Angle

        Re: Is it just me, or...

        Alister, don't be a spoilsport. Some commentards will wait all week to ask that question ...

        1 0 Reply
      4. John Bailey
        Reply Icon

        Re: Is it just me, or...

        "THIS ARTICLE DOES NOT HAVE TO HAVE AN IT ANGLE"

        Oh come on.. It's a Python story. How could that not be an IT angle.

        4 1 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Is it just me, or...

      It's a metaphor for a high level porgramming language with the same name as the snake..... do keep up....

      0 0 Reply
      1. Mark 85
        Reply Icon

        Re: Is it just me, or...

        And it's also part of the name of one of our favorite comedy teams.... "It's just a flesh wound!"

        5 0 Reply
    3. LosD
      Reply Icon
      Go

      Re: Is it just me, or...

      "Python"! Good enough for me.

      4 0 Reply
    4. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Holmes

      The IT angle is clear as day

      I'm never taking a flipping IT job in Thailand.

      3 0 Reply
    5. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Is it just me, or...

      "...is anyone else trying to figure out the IT angle to this story?"

      The number of Todger Entanglement stories bear a direct relationship to the frustration at the LOHAN Failure to Launch. Expect more. Many more.

      4 0 Reply
    6. Bitbeisser
      Reply Icon
      Devil

      Re: Is it just me, or...

      Well, might be you, after all the article mentions (a) Python...

      0 0 Reply
  2. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Coat

    Hmm. "Enter the Python."

    Sounds like some kind of low rent chopsokey movie

    Mine's the one with the John Woo back catalogue in the pocket.

    2 0 Reply
  3. TRT Silver badge

    They smashed the toilet?!

    But someone tried to beat the cistern.

    17 0 Reply
    1. Chris G
      Reply Icon
      Pint

      Re: They smashed the toilet?!

      The article and most of the comments made me laugh but 'Beating the cistern' for some reason almost resulted in the tea treatment for my keyboard.

      Have a beer!

      4 0 Reply
      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Reply Icon
        Thumb Up

        Re: They smashed the toilet?!

        Same here. The beat the system/cistern thing first, then another thought occurred, maybe another euphemism along the same lines as "bashing the bishop"

        1 0 Reply
        1. AK565
          Reply Icon

          Re: They smashed the toilet?!

          I'd never heard of 'beating the cistern' so I figured it was yet another slang term for whacking off. Then again, I'd never heard of 'bashing the bisbop', either. I've learned so much British slang reading El Reg, lol.

          0 0 Reply
  4. Cynic_999

    Headline revamp

    More imaginative headline required ...

    "Toilet Snake's Trouser Snake Snack" ?

    4 0 Reply
    1. TRT Silver badge
      Reply Icon

      Re: Headline revamp

      Thai lifts lid on rare Python attack vector.

      17 0 Reply
    2. Mike Moyle
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      Re: Headline revamp

      Thai Man Snakes Out Toilet the Hard Way.

      4 0 Reply
      1. Simon Harris
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        Re: Headline revamp

        Toileting Thai Tackles Toothy Todger Troubler.

        1 0 Reply
  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Stock Photograph is wrong

    Lester,

    Whoever chose that picture for the article has no idea of what a PYTHON actually looks like.

    But I can tell you that if the rattlesnake in the picture had bitten his "todger" there would be no happy ending for him.

    1 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Stock Photograph is wrong

      I can tell you that if the rattlesnake in the picture had bitten his "todger" there would be no happy ending for him.

      Who? The snake, the attacked appendix or the entire owner thereof?

      1 0 Reply
  6. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Wild Python?

    After being tied to a door, and then having its face taken to bits, I bet it was bloody furious!

    4 0 Reply
    1. Steve Foster
      Reply Icon

      Re: Wild Python?

      Wild? I expect it was absolutely livid.

      (with credit to Rowan Atkinson/NTNON)

      5 0 Reply
      1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Reply Icon

        Re: Wild Python?

        Is that you Gerald?

        3 0 Reply
  7. Ardbeg
    Coat

    IT Angle?

    After the article about android on PI, this is clearly a cautionary tale for those wishing to install python on their Wii :)

    2 0 Reply
  8. Dick Emery

    "Poo in loo!" they said.

    Sorry. I could not resist.

    0 0 Reply
  9. Simon Harris

    some pics quite possibly NSFW

    Not Safe For Waterclosets?

    obviously, seeing the state of it afterwards!

    1 0 Reply
  10. chivo243 Silver badge

    Photo's or it didn't happen?

    Here's a photo!

    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/toilet-python-thailand-attacks-man-penis-article-1.2650996

    Have a nice weekend, look before you plop...

    0 0 Reply
    1. ShadowDragon8685
      Reply Icon

      Re: Photo's or it didn't happen?

      Ghat damn, that thing is BLOODY ENORMOUS.

      The snake's lucky that this lad was apparently a wildlife-loving sort. Fuck the rope, I'd have been bellowing for the garden shears or nearest shotgun.

      0 0 Reply
  11. Baldy50

    Crapper flappers to be fitted from now on'

    Maybe he was reading an IT mag at the time and got confused about injecting code in Python.

    So there’s probably a lot of design engineers on here so go on guys design a loo with a flap at the output stage for when you’ve finished, could be worth a patent and some bucks.

    1 0 Reply
  12. Baldy50

    Crocodile canoe's anyone?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RXn1g0xtUMk&feature=youtu.be

    0 0 Reply
  13. mark jacobs
    Coat

    Spam email

    "There's a new way to extend your dong ... try our pythons ..."

    0 0 Reply

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