back to article Russian boffins want to nuke asteroids

Russian space scientists want to deploy nukes against killer asteroids. Russia and India Report quotes Tomsk State University scientist Tatyana Galushina explaining modelling led by the university to find out how best to blow up a dangerous asteroid. Galushina reckons a near-Earth rock that poses a future threat could be …

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  1. Adam 1

    These things always start with "why don't we just nuke that little asteroid" and end up with "OK smart arse! How would you defend against a marauding horde of aliens"

    1. Rich 11

      By using a Mac to upload a virus into their mothership, obviously.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why nuke asteroids? If it wasn't for asteroids t-rex would be typing this very comment on a specially adapted keyboard.

  3. Frumious Bandersnatch

    all well and good

    ach cad faoi na smidiríní?

  4. Lapun Mankimasta

    Personally, I think the best way of getting around the on-coming asteroid is to spot it in time - nice idea, but we're talking about bozos, politicos, and whatnots here, who wouldn't know an emerging threat if it bit them in the bum, and then only when it becomes an electorate issue - send up a pair of Soyuz converted to carry reasonably high-powered lasers and several months of thrust, have one behind and in one front of the asteroid, and ablate enough off the asteroid to change its orbit significantly.

    Could also be used to capture said asteroid and mine it.

    Only works when politicos aren't bozos, but that's a mighty big ask.

    1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
      Happy

      A modest proposal

      Could we send the politicians to the asteroid, concentrate them on one side, and let the emanations of hot air deflect the asteroid gently?

      Tell them they are going to make history, and will get an unrivalled degree of visibility amongst the electorate.

      Regrettably, a return journey is impossible due to budget cuts they proposed (information on this will only be divulged on a need-to-know basis).

      Win-win situation in my book

      1. Ben Bonsall

        Re: A modest proposal

        Give us the one called McNeal!

      2. Evil Auditor Silver badge

        Re: A modest proposal

        No need for politicians - but a nice add on. Just send The Donald up and it will waterboard the asteroid out of its collision orbit.

        1. Captain DaFt

          Re: A modest proposal

          "Just send The Donald up and it will waterboard the asteroid out of its collision orbit."

          Nah, he'll just propose building a wall between Earth and space, making the asteroid pay for it.

  5. BurnT'offering

    I must be missing something

    They propose to nuke asteroids moving away from us. I'm more worried about the ones moving towards us

    1. David Gosnell

      Re: I must be missing something

      I believe the idea is that any risks from the radioactive debris shower will affect several generations down the line rather than us, when it next comes round. Someone else's problem, in other words.

  6. Mystic Megabyte
    Mushroom

    Don't look at the sky

    In other news Russian scientists create three legged, mobile and venomous plants.

  7. Downside

    MAC on he Moon

    Surely this is an opportunity for a moon-based mass accelerator? When it's not throwing slugs at asteroids, it could be firing spacecraft off on trips to other worlds?

    Chuck an inflatable moon base up there and a self-assembling accelerator.

    Maybe SpaceX or Prof Hawking are already on the case..

  8. Stevie

    Bah!

    Wait, they call their supercomputer "Ciberia"?

    Is that because it needs to be very cold to work so fast, or is it a veiled threat for the citizen programmers?

  9. ma1010
    Mushroom

    How about an Orion?

    Instead of trying to vaporize a big rock with a big warhead, how about using a string of small warheads? You detonate them right on the surface. Vaporized rock will be the reaction mass. Repeat until you've got enough delta vee for the rock to be in a desirable orbit.

    You'd be hitting the rock in the "side" as viewed from Earth. The radioactive debris would mostly be ejected at high speed away from Earth.

    This technique could also be used to slow down the spin of a rock and even nudge it into orbit around the Earth if its original orbit were close enough to Earth's. Bore tunnels in it (away from the radioactive bits), seal and pressurize them. Space station, anyone? This technique could provide quite a bit of cubic space for human use while reducing the need to lift building materials to Earth orbit. If you're lucky, the rock may even contain water, so you could make breathing air and fuel on the spot, again not having to lift it from Earth.

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