back to article Commentard achieves bronze badge, goes directly to jail

Those of you who've been knocking around the El Reg forums for a while will know that we have a badge system designed to honour invaluable commentard contributions to the site, or at least acknowledge a certain degree of commitment to giving forth. To get a foot on the first step on the ladder of glory - the bronze badge - you …

Anonymous Coward

Re: I've been around here for ages

>Upvotes are easy.

Just say how wonderful Linux is or how crap windows is. In any article about PC World say how you belittled one of the sales people with your superior knowledge even though you only went in to get out of the rain and wouldn't ever dream of buying anything from them. Deriding Apple products/users also used to be a sure fire winner but that seems to be 50/50 recently.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

You've basically outlined how I've gotten 80% of my upvotes. Well done.

Sadly I've gone quiet for the past few months, not as many articles have piqued my interest as of late, so I'm way below the number of comments requirement now.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

You presumably need to maintain >100 posts in the past year, drop below that and you temporarily lose the badge.

I got close and chased it for a while but struggled finding two articles per week that satisfy all of; a) A subject I am knowledgeable upon, b) I have a thought upon that hasn't already been expressed, c) I give a crap about enough to post. Usually someone writes what I'm thinking expressed better than I would have and faster. So do I post lots of shite and/or 'Here, have an upvote' noise. Or do I STFU and remain badgeless?

The system seems to encourage inane chatter to me. X upvotes or net X in the past 12 months would be a more beneficial metric.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I've been around here for ages

It took me ages, but a few months ago I finally made it to bronze! But sometimes it seems to disappear and reappear, I don't understand the logic. And the fuzz haven't turned up yet....

Ah, but there are two options for Bronze. Jail or suffering the <blink> tag. It starts with your badge :)

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

> You presumably need to maintain >100 posts in the past year, drop below that and you temporarily lose the badge

Which is why a period of one year is known as the "bronze age". I found history very confusing at school.

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

> In any article about PC World say how you belittled one of the sales people with your superior knowledge even though you only went in to get out of the rain and wouldn't ever dream of buying anything from them

You mean they used to sell stuff?

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Re: I've been around here for ages

@GIWI

"a) A subject I am knowledgeable upon"

That's where you are going wrong, never post comments on something you are knowledgeable on!

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

"1/. Find a suitable post written by someone else.

2/. Respond with "Here, have an upvote/downvote." "

You're absolutely spot on, have an upvote.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

Surprised the heck out of me as well. Although the "member since 2007" bit is a little out of date as I've been around since around 2000. I'm finding the Doctor Who reviews are doing wonders at keeping my comment rate up :)

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Re: I've been around here for ages

The system seems to encourage inane chatter to me. X upvotes or net X in the past 12 months would be a more beneficial metric.

I agree about the inane chatter, any forum that has awards for making a certain number of posts ends up with lots of "me too" posts from people just trying to get their post count up. But no system is perfect; your suggestion of rewarding upvotes instead would just encourage groupthink and karma-whoring, not the kind of critically minded discussion I'd like to see in the El Reg forums.

Fortunately I don't think enough Reg readers are bothered enough about the badges to actually chase them for the sake of it, so it probably doesn't matter much.

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

No, it's just 100 posts in a 12-month period (I got mine recently).

You need 2,000+ upvotes for Silver, so I've got a very long way to go yet.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

I'll take jail.

Keep those <blink> tags away from me!

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Re: I've been around here for ages

"I don't think enough Reg readers are bothered enough about the badges to actually chase them for the sake of it"

Yes...and no... I would gladly kill to be able to use the blockquote html tag.

...which is probably what d***** (strange nick, but who am I to judge?) did.

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

"You're absolutely spot on, have an upvote."

Beautiful post, have an upvote...

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

. I found history very confusing at school.

Probably cos they kept going on about a load of old stuff. that happend years ago.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I've been around here for ages

When my kids ask for help about a history lesson I normally find it's something I actually live through....damn I'm getting old, I know....but when youngest daughter aske me about the Victorian times, and how I survived them....

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

> You're absolutely spot on, have an upvote.

Downvoted. Just to mess with your head/karma/badgeness[1]

:-)

[1] But not in the old-fashioned Top Gear sense..

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

I don't need to be knowledgeable to post about anything - as my high down votes attests. I got my bronze in August, silver in November. Post and ye shall be rewarded.

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Silver badge

@Montreal Sean re Blink tags.

<Blinking Scrolling Marquis>What, like this?</Annoying Geocities dancing musical hamster>

=-)p

(Sorry, just couldn't resist a set up THAT good.)

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

When I'm working with younger kids I often claim to be several hundred years old. I like weaving stories and inventing stuff for them. The worry is that they sometimes believe I can remember the Ancient Egyptians etc.

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Silver badge

@Terry 6 re History class.

I'm so old that I didn't have a History class in school, it was called Potential Futures.

*Shakes a palsied fist*

Dang you young WhipperSnappers! Get off my laaaaaawn!

=-)p

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Silver badge

@AC re Victorian times.

My son & I used to have "You're so old" contests in the same way one would engage in a "Your mom's so fat" juvenile amusement.

We had to stop when I nearly crashed my car from laughing so hard when my son cried from his booster chair in the back seat: "Dad, you're so old you farted like a tuba & we know it as The Big Bang!"

I declared him the winner, then got even by buying a metric fekton of refried bean & cheese microwave burritos for supper that night.

Teach the little monster to make fun of my gas. Bah!

=-)p

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Re: I've been around here for ages

Upvote for correct use and spellage of "piqued"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I've been around here for ages

"2/. Respond with "Here, have an upvote/downvote.""

4/. Correctly label sarcasm as sarcasm, it helps the Americans

5/. Correctly label trolling as trolling, if helps the Americans

6/. Poke fun at the Americans but then explain you are making fun, or explain anything actually, you know why.

I was joking, it's British humour.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

And now we know where you have been.

FunMcKell almost missed the opportunity to edit my post! I really must learn not to waste time on columns this old

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Silver badge
Happy

Re: @Terry 6 re History class. @Shadow Systems

Q an indeterminate number of Yorkshire......

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Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: I've been around here for ages @ Ben Boyle

Would that be the correct spelling of "spellage"?

Have an upvote.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

Yep, hasn't stopped the rest of us, has it?

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages (sega)

a) A subject I am knowledgeable upon,

b) I have a thought upon that hasn't already been expressed,

c) I give a crap about enough to post.

a) When has a) ever been a reason for someone Not to post on the Internet???

b) Hasn't stopped many people either.

c) Bored now....

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages (sega)

c) Bored now....

z) zzzzzzz

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Silver badge

Re: I've been around here for ages

> A subject I am knowledgeable upon

Obligatory

https://xkcd.com/386/

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Silver badge

Re: @Terry 6 re History class.

yes, I keep telling the youngins' that I was here the day dirt was invented...

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Pint

Re: I've been around here for ages

Heck; that's not too bad when you consider the film 1,000, 000 years BC with fur bikinis - have a drink to commeserate about the younsters today...

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Re: @AC re Victorian times.

Have an up vote!

There:

100 posts of inanity on the El Reg wall, 100 posts of inanity

Write one out, click to submit, 99 posts of inanity on the wall...

Maybe next time I will actually find something meaningful to say, but don't get your hopes up!

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Re: I've been around here for ages

I think your poking fun at us Americans is among my favourite (sic) things about reading El Reg.; that and trying to decipher British humour (sic).

Have an up vote!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I've been around here for ages

Wow my first post was on the 22nd of Feb 2007. 78 Pages of posts. 6815 up votes 1252 down votes. Feel for us anons who will never have a badge T_T

Even had some emails of the week back in the good old days.

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Re: I've been around here for ages

Yes, I also briefly had a bronze badge when the system started and then it disappeared again after a while.

Can't say I'm that bothered about the badges though. Although the extra formatting would be nice - maybe El Reg could alter it so that those rights could stay enabled once granted even if the badge goes away again, please?

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Headmaster

'commentard guidelines is maintained'

That should be 'are maintained'.

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Silver badge
Joke

Re: 'commentard guidelines is maintained'

or detained?

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Paris Hilton

Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

To avoid random spamming by the desperate.

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Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

Never!! There was even a time when it was a challenge to get to Silver on downvotes..

Gave rise to a spate of articulate, yet highly contentuous posts, that one.. classic.. :)

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ZSn

Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

Do downvotes count towards silver. I though that it was only upvotes. If so then perhaps I should follow the tour eadon took!

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Silver badge
Meh

Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

I find the comments at El Reg usually OK, sometimes great. Best if quality control is not needed, i.e., commentards sort it out by themselves.

And then Eadon got kicked, to the tune of very many very small violins, I am sure.

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Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

"And then Eadon got kicked, to the tune of very many very small violins, I am sure."

That was a truly sad day for the El Reg community. Eadon's shitposting was pure Reg gold; I had to replace a container's worth of keyboards because of him. Only Webster Phreaky ever surpassed him, but he seemed to have vanished before Eadon took over. Perhaps they were one and the same entity, and perhaps his ghost haunts the El Reg comments threads even to this day...

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Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

To avoid random spamming by the desperate.

I've often thought of exactly the opposite. I should get off my arse(*) one of these days and set up "bewildering-upvotes.com" (**) where each week members vote on the most boring/anodyne post on their favourite site and then everyone goes and gives it a thumbs up. Perfect for sad gits everywhere who fancy themselves as anarchists, but who are too polite to do anything naughty.

* and probably sit back down again if I want to do web coding

** motto: "Dada's not dead; it just smells a little funny" perhaps?

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Silver badge

Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

Quality control? At El Reg? How *very* dare you!

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Silver badge
Joke

Re: Actually I think there should be some form of quality control

I'm sure eadon's strategy was to try to get so many downvotes that eventually they'd hit INT_MIN, wrap around and turn into upvotes.

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Re: I had to replace a container's worth of keyboards

Just acquired four more keyboards. Let 'em rip!

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Re: I had to replace a container's worth of keyboards

Don't fret the loss of Eadon, we still have jake.

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Silver badge

Re: bewildering-upvotes.com

I for one would bookmark that.

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