back to article Britain beats back Argies over Falklands online land grab

It's been 33 years since the United Kingdom went to war with Argentina and won back the Falkland Islands, but the battle still continues – including online. On Thursday, there was a meeting at the United Nations about the islands that resolved the UK and Argentina should get together and negotiate a solution to the ongoing …

In doing this Argentina have recognised that the Falkland’s islanders belong to the Falkland islanders otherwise they would not have recognised the .fk as the code for the Falklands as they call it the Malvinas to which it code is MV

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Did Mr Carvell...

...just tell them to get .fk 'ed?

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Re: Did Mr Carvell...

Sounds like he did the verbal equivalent of Operation Black Buck.

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Anonymous Coward

The only indigenous people in the Falklands are penguins, the Argies should take a close look at themselves and whose land they stole and what they do to the original owners:

https://www.amnesty.org/en/latest/news/2013/08/indigenous-peoples-argentina-we-are-strangers-our-own-country/

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Simples

Give the .FK to the Argentinians and move all the hosted domains to .fk.uk as suggested above. Who cares what domain name is used? As for the nationality of the islands, that was decided in 2013.

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The people living on the Falklands are called "Stills"

as in They're Still fucking Bennies.

or if you prefer :

They're still the fucking Falkland Islands you Argie twat.

Hmm I need coffee.

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Coat

Get yer skates on Argentina!

We're building some new aircraft carriers you know.

When those are finished you'll be properly .fk'd for nicking any islands you fancy the look of.

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Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

Not til we have some planes to go on them...

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Van

Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

I read that three Eurofighter Typhoons are enough to take out the whole Argentine air force if it was thrown at them. A 4th Typhoon is stationed on the islands to cover for refueling.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

three Eurofighter Typhoons

That cost more than Argentina's GDP to build as well

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

The whole F35 project is a mess, we need combat drones like Taranis, who's successor should hopefully be in service about the time our air craft carriers are ready for service....

Cheaper, Safer and more expendable than piloted planes.

With a plane, you loose the plane you loose all the experience of the pilot.. with drones, you just loose the drone, the pilot learns from his mistake...

But then again, who needs planes, in theory a single type 45 could defend the Falklands against the entire South American air-force.

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Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

Argentina don't seem to have spent much money on their navy or airforce since the war. Certainly not in recent years. I had a look online a while ago, and they still seemed to have the same Daggers and Skyhawks as before, only now they're 50 years old, instead of 20. So I'd imagine they wouldn't be able to put up more than a few of them at a time.

There was a story going round a month or so ago that Argentina were looking to lease some attack planes off the Russians. Although only SU24s iirc, so nothing all that modern. It also seems a little hard on the pilots to hire a bunch of bombers, and no fighters to protect them. The MOD responded by promising to update the Falklands missile batteries in the next few years, and I guess they can always sling some more Typhoons down there, to augment the 4 they've got.

The navy seems to have even less of the old stuff left working - and also not much new.

In 1982 we had 80-odd marines and one old ice patrol ship. The garrison is now a battalion of troops, 4 modern fighters with airbase to fly in more, a modern air defence destroyer, SAMs an ice patrol ship and (I seem to remember) an armed fisheries protection ship, plus maybe a submarine.

It would taken a serious effort to amphibiously invade close to Port Stanley against a whole battalion of troops, let alone all the other stuff. Argentina could have done that in 1982 (with some losses), They'd seriously struggle now. Otherwise you've got to invade somewhere like Teal Inlet, San Carlos (where we did) or Bluff Cove and walk. Which takes a while, and allows for re-inforcements. Our strategy seems designed to make a surprise attack very unlikely, and then fly down reinforcements in case of a scary looking build up.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

"With a plane, you loose the plane you loose all the experience of the pilot.. with drones, you just loose the drone, the pilot learns from his mistake"

L - O - S - E

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

"With a plane, you loose the plane you loose all the experience of the pilot.. with drones, you just loose the drone, the pilot learns from his mistake..."

Is there any evidence of drone v pilot combat results? So far as I'm aware drones are currently only used for surveillance or as missile strike platforms. I don't recall ever hearing of drones being deployed where they might be targeted by live pilot fighters. What's the C&C lag time like? I suspect the Yanks might have at least tried this out in training but if so, are those drones just sitting ducks for a decent pilot?

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

I don't think C&C time lag is necessarily the point. In principle, you could have a button that puts the drone into autonomous combat mode, whereupon it does whatever it takes (pulling rather more g-s than a pilot could, if necessary) to remove the target you've identified. In practice, I'm sure the extra sensory and processing hardware required is not yet standard issue on existing drones. However, I'm sure DARPA are working on it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

BUY RUSSIAN!

Say NO to tacticooled overly expensive amerishit that is always in development and NO to committee-designed Euroland can-do-all-missions-as-long-as-Finmeccanica-gets-a-slice barfulations.

BUY RUSSIAN!!!

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Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

I believe that the Chinese are supposed to be obtaining a number of Chinese FC-1/JF-17 "Thunder" fighters (according to the Express back in February). According to the same source they are allegedly amongst the "most advanced fighter jets in the world" although having read some background on them I think the answer is that they are small medium priced car (with Argentinian number plates) which a few extra Typhoons and improved long range ground based radar would probably find relatively simple to manage.

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

"in theory a single type 45 could defend the Falklands against the entire South American air-force."

In theory. In practice something would get past its defences. Which is why you'd need two of them.

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Re: Get yer skates on Argentina!

"I had a look online a while ago, and they still seemed to have the same Daggers and Skyhawks as before, only now they're 50 years old, instead of 20."

Bearing in mind that New Zealand grounded all its A4s after a very expensive refitting exercise (project Kahu) because of wing spar cracking (it would have been cheaper to buy F15s than to fix the A4s), you're probably right - It's quite likely that anything they sent out would either fall out of the sky before it got that far or do so as soon as it had to execute a high-G turn.

This is all about the argentine economy being so far down the shitter it's almost made it through to the oxidation pond, not about actual sovereignty.

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

It's always surprised me that rear-firing cannon or missiles aren't standard equipment on anything intended to go into a dogfight.

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

"A single type 45 destroyer such as HMS Dauntless could shoot down the whole Argentine air force in under a day."

How do they defend against Exocets, etc. these days?

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Re: "Not til we have some planes to go on them..."

How do they defend against Exocets, etc. these days?

Faster missiles with longer ranges and better radars. Particularly with computers better able to pick up sea skimmers from the surface clutter. And radar controlled gattling guns for last-ditch defence too nowadays.

Oh and also supposedly computers that can handle multiple targets, with multiple launchers to attack them with. One of the problems in the Falklands was with the computers getting confused, unable to prioritise which of two equally dangerous targets to engage - and going into reset mode and ignoring both. They were engaging at such close range that there wasn't time for the operators to override. I think it was at least Coventry that got it that way?

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Would the issue be better handled if it wasn't in the hands of a 'Manel'?

http://allmalepanels.tumblr.com/

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"Would the issue be better handled if it wasn't in the hands of a 'Manel'?"

I don't see why. There was definitely a woman on the panel when the Falklands were invaded, and there's a woman in charge of Argentina who is currently rattling the kitchen knife (they can't afford sabres), so why do you think anything would be better involving women?

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Facepalm

By Jingo!

(Sarcasm icon needed)

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Re: By Jingo!

Also one for cynics

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WTF?

I'm actually curious

if there are any argentinians here what they think of the whole Falklands debate?

Considering that the claim is based entirely upon the claim of the nation of River Plate's soverignty of the islands which lasted from 1826-1832 (and was not the first claims to the islands that being from the British and Spanish in the 1770's). It seems strange that the Argentinians are not also claiming the lands of Paraguay and Uruguay which were also part of the River Plate nation. The claim is also made weaker by the fact that there has been a continual presence of the british on the island since 1840 (all these details from wikipedia).

If 175 years of history isnt enough to claim to be one nation and not another, then I dont know what is....

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Headmaster

Re: I'm actually curious

Argentinians

British

Falklanders

Capitalise! They are Proper Nouns.

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Re: I'm actually curious

Spain hasn't given up claiming Gibraltar, even though it's now been British for about 100 years longer than it was Spanish. But at a grassroots level (as a resident of Spain), rather than complaints about non-fulfilment of the Treaty of Utrecht what I hear are complaints about cigarette smuggling.

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Re: I'm actually curious

"cigarette smuggling"

Considering that the EU is supposed to be a free trade area, that does sound rather like an anachronism. Maybe it's time the EU "harmonised" tobacco, alcohol and fuel duties or at least decree that if duty is paid at the point of sale then you can take it anywhere in the EU that you choose.

Based on previous "harmonisations" I suspect a lot of people in the EU would be extremely displeased at a massive hike in prices :-)

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Re: I'm actually curious

"Considering that the EU is supposed to be a free trade area"

Gibraltar isn't part of the EU customs union. Just like the Spanish equivalents - the Balearics...

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IF I understand Argentina's argument....

"We should have control over that FLK space, because nearly 200 years ago some of our people landed on the uninhabited island.... And promptly left when they realise it wasn't of much use to anyone (back then)."

The counter argument is.....

"We're the falklanders who've lived here for nearly 200 years, this is our home, and we'd like to control the namespace related to it..."

They're not even giving it to the Brits, as such, it's the Falklanders who have it.

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Ah but the real Argentine argument is "a foreign company discovered oil reserves on the Eastern side of the islands and we want them."

It's just phrased differently.

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Stop me if you've heard this one before.

That sounds oddly familiar. I feel like I've heard that one before. Something about the Americas as a whole and a desire to fight where there's oil.

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Oh, its bigger than that. The claim to the British Antarctic Territories rely on the Falkland Island Dependencies. This claim is overlapped by those of Argentina and Chile. (Chile has gone as far as arranging births in within their claim so there are native Antarticians to throw into the bun fight.)

Argentina has form for using international forums to advance their preposterous claim to the Falkland Islands. In 1990 the control for the FI Flight Reporting Region was unilaterally changes to Ushuaia at the behest of Buenos Aires. UK delegate asleep or something.

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ALL TOGETHER NOW

http://www.macclads.co.uk/hectic_house/lyrics/lyrics_alpha/buen.html

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dvv

Damn… That Carvell fella sure sounded like a Russian talking about Crimea…

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Win the war first

Politics in our sorry world includes military successes and defeats. A military defeat is considered a conclusive political act, so that, for instance, Iraq was expected to stop troubling Kuwait after the First Gulf War. Whatever one thinks of might-makes-right, winning the ground through battle tends to let you keep the ground. The British won the ground in the Falklands. There is therefore no ongoing debate about who owns them.

Since I don't personally like the appeal to arms to be the final appeal, because nasty, the argument now more securely rests on the voice of the Falkland Islanders themselves. And we know how they voted.

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Damn… That Carvell fella sure sounded like a Russian talking about Crimea…

Sir. I shall ask you to leave. You are upsetting the locals.

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Go

Rolling back to 1830

The gist of the Argentinian position appears to be that we return to the map of the world in 1830 so they get the Falklands, but by that argument we get India, Canada, Australia, large chunks of Africa, etc., etc. back. Sounds like a win for us, though the current inhabitants may or may not be too happy about that. As for the state of Europe, well, that'll be interesting with no Germany, the Prussians back, Italy breaking up, and so forth, and the Turks might like it too.

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Re: Rolling back to 1830

Hey, - it worked for the Israelis didn't it?

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Re: Rolling back to 1830

If we roll back to 1830 then Wales gets Patagonia *and* the Falklands. Back then Argentina didn't extend any further south than the Salado River. Argentina didn't occupy any territory anywhere near the Falklands until the Conquest Of The Desert in the 1880s.

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Linux

How about a swap?

We keep the Falklands, and Argentina can have Scotland instead. Everyone should be happy then. Argentina get somewhere British and windswept with oil, the Scots are rid of the English, and we can get some peace and quiet without being constantly told off by their government.

I know Scotland doesn't have any penguins, but we could tell them that the pandas are giant ones. They'd never notice until it was too late...

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Re: How about a swap?

Let me know how it goes when the Scots are told that their new national language is Spanish.

// I see blue bottoms...

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