back to article Microsoft KILLS Windows 8.1 Update 2 and Patch Tuesday

Microsoft has at last revealed the date when its second major update to Windows 8.1 will ship to customers: never. Despite months of speculation that the software giant has been planning to push out another major update roll-up for its latest OS this year, much like it did with the oddly named Windows 8.1 Update in April, …

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  1. Someone Else Silver badge
    FAIL

    If ever there was a reason to just shut off Windows update...

    ...this is it.

    Let us review, shall we? Now no longer can we expect the updates to simply fix critical problems, now they will also cram more of Microsoft's "View of the World" (more accurately, an ADHD-addled Millennial marketdroid with self-esteem issues's dystopia) down our collective throats.

    Consider this: Basically, nobody likes the stuff coming out of the Microsoft pipe recently, which probably really pissed off said marketdroids and their collective handlers. So they figured out a way to bundle the crap nobody wants with the other crap everybody thinks they need, and made it an all-or-nothing proposition. I don't know about you, but I know how I'm voting on that proposition.

  2. Dan 55 Silver badge
    FAIL

    So service packs are dead

    So near to Windows 8's EOL (it can't come soon enough) someone with a new system will need to update to 8.1, then 8.1 Update 1, then download about 900 patches, sorry, updates followed by Classic Shell.

    No problem for enterprise though, it's another reason just to stick with Windows 7... forever.

    What's going on inside MS? Does anyone know? Do they know?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So service packs are dead

      "No problem for enterprise though, it's another reason just to stick with Windows 7... forever."

      Any enterprise that goes with Windows at the next refresh is totally moronic. I can't think of one reason for that. Even the Exchange/Outlook pig is ready for culling.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: So service packs are dead

        We've got a business critical windows only (ties to DirectX, touches the hardware and has millisecond level timing requirements (which are already an issue with the new sound subsystem in Vista, 7 and 8) app which doesn't work properly in VMware.

        We are due to do a new deployment around Christmas, of machines which typically have 1-2 TB of user data on them and have an expected lifespan of 5+ years. The logistics of reimaging those machines midlife to prevent them having 7 on them past the end of support doesn't appeal. Neither does deploying them with 8.1.

        Deep joy.

      2. SundogUK Silver badge

        Re: So service packs are dead

        You really don't live in the same world as everyone else do you?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As it turns out

    "Any enterprise that goes with Windows at the next refresh is totally moronic. I can't think of one reason for that. Even the Exchange/Outlook pig is ready for culling."

    I've just found my first customer who don't do the Windows thing wholesale. They seem quite happy running Linux on everything - quite refreshing really. Things aren't perfect - as you'd expect - but the flaws are simple admin things and not OS related.

    They aren't anti commercial stuff, they just don't like MS's offerings. I've just P2V'd their systems into VMware with a dose of Veeam sprinkled in.

    This is in the north of Somerset (county) which, for the benefit of our ex-colonial friends, is a pretty rural part of the UK.

    Cheers

    Jon

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As it turns out

      > "Things aren't perfect"

      When I recently made the switch, things where a lot better than people (Windows fans) said.

      I've stopped complaining about Windows 8.x, I no longer have to worry about how Microsoft's next brain-fart will screw things up. So a few Word documents aren't pixel perfect - who cares? I now have my computers back! I thought I'd miss Visual Studio - but they're destroying it, and it's only good for Microsoft tech, not the web.

      What I'm trying to say is, it feels such a relief to no longer depend on Microsoft.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: As it turns out

        What I'm trying to say is, it feels such a relief to no longer depend on Microsoft.

        I emigrated from the Microsoft world across to the world of Open Source some years back… initially I just spent holidays there, but in 2001 I packed my bags and moved there permanently.

        I'm in a much happier place. A place where I can give as well as take. A place where I'm in charge of my own destiny.

        Of course, I do sometimes travel back to the Microsoft world, but in most cases those are work-related business trips.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. Suburban Inmate

    Please don't bollocks it up.

    That is all.

  5. Fibbles

    Microsoft switches their OS to a rolling release...

    ... everyone who has never stepped foot outside of the Windows ecosystem loses their minds.

    1. sabroni Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: stepped foot

      it's "set foot" or "stepped.

      1. Fibbles

        Re: stepped foot

        Stepped foot is perfectly cromulent, even if it's not common usage. As is tread foot.

  6. Mystic Megabyte
    Linux

    Just say no

    This company upgraded.....to Ubuntu!

    http://www.linuxnewshere.com.au/index.php/linux/bukwang-pharmaceuticals-cut-it-costs-created-business-value-with-ubuntu

    I like the last sentence:

    As Sang-Hoon Kim, President and CEO of Bukwang Pharmaceutical, explained: “At first, we just wanted to save money. But we never expected the free publicity that would result, nor did we expect to launch a profitable new business. For all our success so far, however, it still feels like we are at the beginning of our open source journey.”

  7. alwarming
    Paris Hilton

    You will never guess what she did ..!!!! :0 :o

    Thanks for the homage to the unsung clickbait writers with this faux-click-baity headline.

    Paris, coz you probably know what she did, but don't care.

    1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. alwarming

      Re: You will never guess what she did ..!!!! :0 :o

      Umm.. I was referring to this sub heading in the article.

      "You'll never believe what it's called inst... actually, you probably can"

      (I suppose my joke wasn't very funny, but still not sure what inflammed the downvoters....)

  8. HKmk23

    So Tuesday's will now be known as.........

    Screw up Tuesday. No... I do not use W8 but MS's "W7 updates" forced me to image my pc every day so when the "updates" were installed I could repair the damage quickly and easily.

    Yes, I know I can choose to download or install or not, but until they are installed you do not know if they are harmless or not.........

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: So Tuesday's will now be known as.........

      ermmm why don't you just have a few test configurations running as VM's. You test your updates on these first and if they work then deploy them to your production. We NEVER deploy updates as soon as they're released either we always wait a week or so you tend to hear of any updates that might cause a major issue.

      And there is no need to image your PC either as Win7 will take a system restore image before the update is applied, so if the PC gets fecked up boot up in to recovery and restore to the last system restore.

  9. Tachikoma

    and the June update to OneDrive to improve your control of sync

    Ah yes, I remember that well, because OneDrive insists on bloody restarting and locking up the machine on every single boot...

  10. Anon123212321

    "Second, a new set of APIs will allow Windows devices to act as Miracast receivers."

    Finally, I'll no longer need to use Teamviewer to use my laptop as an extra monitor, should be able to use Intel's WiDi.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can't provide a Start menu for Windows 8

    If they did, they would have no unique selling point for Windows 9.

  12. Avatar of They

    FFS

    Just when you think light is indeed at a tunnel somewhere being shined, they say 2015.

    My knowledge of windows 8 is limited to a three day trial and argument over licencing with MS. (As and upgrade licence that formats your hard drive by accident because the installer is written by a bunch of retards invalidates your licence and you need to buy a full licence.)

    However recently I have had a spate of relatives and friends with crippling viruses, the like of which I can only remove with a fresh install as AV won't touch it and they are hijacking browsers and rewrite the host file with 127. entries.

    But all problems in fixing it stem from the very poor design in how the system sets itself up. And how you navigate between areas.

    If it wasn't for Google and Safe mode (And my bought CD of windows 8) There would be a few more Windows 7 licences in use and less Windows 8.

  13. GitMeMyShootinIrons

    I don't think you'll see Windows 9.

    And not for the reason that most MS haters would wish for. I can seriously imagine a time not so far away when MS drop the number from the name and end up just calling it Windows. After all, nearly all of the current references to Office now refer to Office 365 rather than Office 2014 - it wouldn't be a leap to imagine Windows going in a similar direction and by moving to an incremental update model for features as well as updates is a sign of things to come.

    I wonder if Windows itself will move to an Office365 style subscription model too? Now that's a controversial idea...

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I don't think you'll see Windows 9.

      Considering Nadella's cloudy background, I think Windows will move to a 'software as a subscription' model sooner rather than later. In fact, you can deduce this from Window 8's annoying habit of nagging you to sign in with your Microsoft account.

      Fortunately, for my fellow Microsoft-hating comrades, this will most definitely spell the ultimate end of Microsoft as we know it. If there's anything we detest, it is an operating system that we have to cough out money every month for and one that demands you to be online all the time. If Microsoft hadn't yet learnt from the Xbox One debacle, it is daft.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: I don't think you'll see Windows 9.

        "I think Windows will move to a 'software as a subscription' model sooner rather than later."

        It's already available from Microsoft. You can rent Microsoft software - over say 1, 2 or 3 years.

    2. Archaon
      Trollface

      Re: I don't think you'll see Windows 9.

      "After all, nearly all of the current references to Office now refer to Office 365 rather than Office 2014"

      That would be because the current version is Office 2013.

      1. GitMeMyShootinIrons

        Re: I don't think you'll see Windows 9.

        @archaon - typo on my part :-)

        Office 365 isn't the 365th release either. My point still stands.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Typical Microsoft

    This is a marketing decision. Microsoft knows Windows 8 is buggered, no point flogging a dead horse, so might as well entice users to fork out money for the next version of Windows.

    This was more or less the same reason why Windows 7 stopped at Service Pack 1.

    1. Mage Silver badge

      Re: Typical Microsoft

      and why SP7 was cancelled for NT4. I ran and tested preview NT4 USB stack that would have been in SP7. Win2K drivers / applications worked on it.

      Or why no SP4 for XP.

      They don't like SP since they moved to online updates. I'm amazed there were ANY SPs for any windows after XP SP3

      Lots of people still don't have Broadband. They need SP CDs.

  15. OGShakes

    Another MS story, lets shout mindlessly until satisfied!

    Why does everyone get so upset when Microsoft say they are doing anything? Microsoft could release windows for free and everyone would still complain.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Another MS story, lets shout mindlessly until satisfied!

      Because they don't do anything good.

  16. Malagabay
    Paris Hilton

    "release windows for free and everyone would still complain"

    For many "free" isn't cheap enough when it comes to the Great Eight and Ridiculous Ribbons...

    Perhaps they will move to "Suffering As A Service"....

    Where they pay people to "suffer in silence" each month...

    Would still only be attractive to masochists...

    But then there are a lot off them about [in the corporate environment]...

    CHORUS [you know you really want to join in]

    The Deadwood Redmond stage is coming on over the hill...

    Whip crack away, whip crack away, whip crack away

    Doesn't that feel better???

  17. Daniel von Asmuth
    Windows

    Let's not dwell on the negative

    In Redmond county, you thank Gates on your bare knees for any update that fixes bugs, but you curse his name for any update that brings new bugs^H^H^H^Hfeatures.

  18. Graham Triggs

    OneDrive

    Oh, there was an update to OneDrive in June? That might explain why recently it has been consistently crashing on startup.

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