back to article Supermodel Lily Cole: 'I got a little bit upset by that Register article'

Millionaire supermodel Lily Cole has told a national newspaper how upset she was by The Register's coverage of her taxpayer-funded wishing well, Impossible.com. Youtube video of Cole talking about impossible.com Using Freedom of Information laws, we attempted to discover how the wealthy socialite and globetrotter was awarded …

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Anonymous Coward

Well I've looked at the website...

Can't easily figure out what's going on, so I've left.

The End.

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WTF?

the four ways...

There are four ways to spend money.

1) you can spend your money on yourself, in which case, you are really interested in the results.

2) you can spend your money on someone else, in which case you are interested in the results, but not totally bothered.

3) you can have someone else spend money on you, in which case you are just grateful.

4) you can spend someone else's money on someone else, in which case , who gives a f**k? That's the government for you.

I read that in one of P.J. O'Rourke's books, and it was hollow laughter then too.

P.

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Trollface

BTFO yet again

El Reg tells it how it is, startlet complains.

A sampling of #wi$hes so you don't have to #gothere yourself:

"I wish I could find someone #who could #help me #plan my #wedding. I'm on disability and have a very limited income so I need things as inexpensive as possible. I'm also a BBW bride."

"I wish I could genuinely #help #somebody with their #startup #company rather than just give them money."

"I wish I could find a cheapish small one bedroomed cottage/studio in rural Norfolk to rent in exchange for creating a beautiful garden and redecorating inside and out. #accommodation"

"A female penpal that is quirky, slightly eccentric, has a love of life, doesn't mind strange random conversations and loves chocolate chip cookies. #things"

"someone could give my daughter a leg-up in the media world - she's just graduated from Greenwich Uni with a 2.1 in Film Studies. She'd be into an internship type thingy - she speaks Spanish and English #creative"

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Anonymous Coward

Re: BTFO yet again

I think I'll just enter:

I wish the f#k someone would give me a job or a contract before my savings run out....

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Re: BTFO yet again

"I wish money wasn't #wasted on #vanity #projects like #this."

16m ago by "administrator"

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Re: BTFO yet again

"I #wish that #people wouldn't #hashtag every #other #fucking #word when they #post #comments on these #fucking #things..."

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Joke

Re: BTFO yet again

And yet #think! how much #worse! #things! could be if #Yahoo! had #invented! the #hashtag!

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So who's funding the bazaar thing they say is coming soon?

https://bazaar.impossible.com/

I hope it's not me.

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Re: So who's funding the bazaar thing they say is coming soon?

I hope it's not me.

I don't know quite how to break this to you, but....

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Who is she again?

The post is required, and must contain letters.

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Just who is getting that money?

Seriously, how much does web hosting cost in her world?

As I've posted before, it costs less than $10 a month where I live. That's for very generous space, bandwidth and very comprehensive tools and additional software.

And who is getting paid to build it? Every client I've ever worked with was a skinflint who made Scrooge look generous. I see nothing special in the build than warrants 100K+ for development.

So really, just WHERE is the money going? Because if it was for any physical development, she got robbed.

Well, some one did, anyway.

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Silver badge

Re: Just who is getting that money?

We know ball park how much it would have actually cost to do the coding, because most techs know a small amount of coding or scripting (enough to know how much of a job it really is) or at a minimum will have friend who has a friend who will know. That, or at worst the extended group will end up pointing the person to a developer who could use some cash.

She on the other hand is a celebrity, so will be pointed towards the multimillionaire who attends the sort of social circles that she moves in who owns a group of companies including a web design outfit. She'll be being charged at least £400 per developer hour spent without realising that they don't pay the developers that much per day.

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Facepalm

Re: Just who is getting that money?

You would be surprised. My other half found a website that a local authority was paying the company that made it £1500 a month for 'support' on a static 4 page site.

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Happy

Re: Just who is getting that money?

@Jason 7

Ooh ... details please. At that rate, my colleague and I should be getting $150k per month each.

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Happy

She reads El Reg!

Come on now, folks, she reads The Register! Now, isn't that just significant? In just a little bit she'll be able to correct her website by reading all of these erudite articles and comments.

So let's see the business plan here: collect gnomes, ... something else ..., and no profit at all.

OK, so I guess the whole idea needs work yet. Don't worry, the comments section is on the job! Don't worry, Lily, we'll definitely tell you how to do it right!

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Re: She reads El Reg!

And she means well. Unlike some who take public money.

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Stop

Re: She reads El Reg!

No, her paid for "media evangelists" managed to look at Google once a day and spotted the story

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Anonymous Coward

Re: She reads El Reg!

You mean her PR person reads El Reg.

Incidentally, PR person, 9/10, 99/100 and 999/1000 are fractions. Can we have something slightly less weasel than "a fraction of that"?

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Re: She reads El Reg!

" 9/10, 99/100 and 999/1000 are fractions."

Interestingly, 111/100 is a fraction, too. And one which may well be a closer fraction of her net worth.

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Coat

Re: She reads El Reg!

11/10 is also a fraction, but we could accuse them of improper use of maths.

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Silver badge

Re: She reads El Reg!

11/10 is also a fraction, but we could accuse them of improper use of maths.

I think she is hoping you will think it is vulgar to talk about money. :-0

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Anonymous Coward

Re: She reads El Reg!

I was being kind and assumed she meant "vulgar fraction". Because, let's face it, being a model is a bit...well...vulgar.

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Bah.

That £150k would have done a nice job of clearing up the potholes on the A64.

Git.

Also, £150k for a website? Does she know someone I can charge £25k for setting up an ADSL router and putting a non-default password on it?

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Facepalm

Re: Bah.

In her social sphere, I am sure she knows plenty of people like that!

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Facepalm

Re: Bah.

I'm sure you can find someone to pay that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUnvgKhWZdI

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah.

I personally know 3 or 4 people that run voluntary things for various types (theatre groups, disabled groups, one off child care (go to the beach for the first time in your life sorts)) who could have made far better use of the money. Let alone what the handful of unable to get back into work mentally ill or physically handicapped people I know could have done with the money.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Bah.

Well, Really if you think about it £150k isn't that bad.. the issue is where the money came from.

That £150k will have paid for Developers, Designers, Testers, A project Manager as well as hardware, hosting agreements software licences.

Not to mention if its a start up with its own staff all of the people above will need hardware and software to do their jobs.

As I said the sum isn't really the issue, large commercial sites often cost a lot of money, the issue in this case is where the money came from (And perhaps from what I read in the article that most of the publicity seems to have been aimed at the US, which if it was set up with UK taxpayers money makes it a little worse!)

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Apparently "javadevguy" wishes:

that NESTA would bung me £200k to build my website. I am to do something socially useful. #somethingelse

I'm glad he's planning to do something useful with our money.

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"questioning our estimate of her net wealth – we'd heard £7m, Cole says it's a "fraction" of that"

Presumably that's not a vulgar fraction... probably a posh one.

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My advice to Lily Cole would be: do not sunbathe and keep yourself covered in strong sunlight. ..and another thing: earning lots of money parading your long elegant frame in public does not necessarily indicate that you have what it takes to become a successful entrepreneur.

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I Wish...

Everyone that is visiting impossible.com to wish [beg] for something they need [want for free] would list their computer/tablet/smartphone on Craigslist-- since nobody is using impossible.com --for cash. This way they could use the money towards whatever it is they want, and they can stop turning the Internet into a cardboard (why is it always cardboard?) sign with black marker (why is it always black marker) that says "anything helps."

Now, if only someone would post that on impossible.com for me; I wish they would. Please. Really. Thanks. If you can.

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Super...

An article or a product of superior size, quality, or grade.

Fatuous...

foolish or inane, especially in an unconscious, complacent manner; silly.

What kind of model is she really?

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Re: What kind of model is she really?

Airfix?

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I guess her next step will be

to stomp her foot and hold her breath until she turns blue because of what El Reg and we commentards think.

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Meh

Veni vidi vamoose

Looked at the site, it held my attention for oh maybe 90 seconds not that I get hash tags as a non social networker but it appears as if they have just discovered the idea and are trying to work it to death.

As for the luscious? Lily she reminds me somewhat of Black Adder's Queenie in looks and petulant vacuosity.

Give me a hundred thousand with the access code and I will improve the site immeasurably!

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Perhaps a name change is in order?

takingthepiss.com, anyone?

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Gold badge
Coat

A few words from Colin Gregson of "Bad News"

"Remember folks, there are people out there who are a lot better at spending your money than you. Merry Christmas"*

*And so Rik Mayal is dead. I am simply bottom less.

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says:

Here I lie, awake at two thirty AM with a broken rib.

Unikitty is doing nothing for me even though I am trying to think positive thoughts.

Do you have to be a virgin?

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awww

diddums :(

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Anonymous Coward

Whoever wrote

"that NESTA would bung me £200k to build my website. I am to do something socially useful. "

deserves that well done! Posted 3 hours ago!

Screenshot here:

http://tinypic.com/r/2gul3yd/8

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Trollface

Maybe this will help drive traffic to impossible.com!

Future listing:

"One fleece--figuratively taken off Britsh taxpayers. Approximately 58 million very careful previous owners. Quite warm. Seeking new, needy homeless person having problems keeping out the night's chill. Also makes decorative throw rug in orphanage or substance abuse treatment environment. Inquiries to L. Cole, Islington, London"

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The real problem

Is that this is only a newsworthy story because the recipient of the NESTA cash is fairly high profile. How many other absolutely worthless projects have had taxpayer money thrown away on them? The funding system is quite clearly broken and needs to be fixed... or binned. I'm sure there must be examples of successful government assisted startup schemes that can be aped? I've heard that Finland and Israel have successful scenes despite not containing silicon valley within there borders.

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Anonymous Coward

Why the bile in the comments

Never heard of her? Sure, just fishing for upvotes, even I've heard of her and I'm a million miles from a celeb culture mindframe. And you don't know what she does, whoever the hell is reading the articles for you is not doing their job, it plainly says in the headline she's a super model.

Next, she got funding for a web site. Why take it out on her? It's the funding body that should be under scrutiny. Doesn't look as if she's spent the funding on herself, maybe some bad publicity stunts but at least her heart's in the right place, she's just out of her depth.

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What is the real problem

While it's amusing to bash on about the "taxpayer" giving £ 200,000 to this "poor little rich kid" for a useless website, I think it's a bit of a mistake to focus on the money. For a start, if she's got good accountants, she's probably costing the country more through (perfectly legal) tax avoidance schemes. In the subsidy stakes (such as those given in the energy industry) £ 200,000 doesn't even figure as a rounding error.

Let's take Miss Cole out of the equation and focus on the role of Nesta and whether it's doing its job properly - what are the expected tangible (ie. the number of employees) and intangible benefits of the site? How will they be measured? And how will those allocating the money be held accountable (not necessarily sacked)?

As things stand I think it is perfectly reasonable to suggest that the whole thing was a vehicle to benefit Freud Communications - weren't they associated with another waste-of-time, celebrity (political) website? What is the ownership of the website? What is the proposed business model? More digging along those lines, please.

Oh, and good to see the Freedom of Information Act doing its job.

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(Written by Reg staff)

Re: What is the real problem

Charlie, Nesta is not subject to FoI requests any more - otherwise you would know a lot more about how this decision was made.

It was the Cabinet Office which gave Nesta the money and administrative duties, which is why I focused so much on the Cabinet Office in the original article. The enthusiasm of the bureaucrats there for accountability and transparency should be evident from the FoI replies.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What is the real problem

Sarcasm about our wonderful Civil Servants. I don't know.

Seriously, I agree that some sarcasm is required. But then we read about people like that one who ran a Scottish bank who acquired a corporate jet with a private bedroom just for him on the bank's money, and we know who really despises ordinary people and is just taking the piss.

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Silver badge

Re: What is the real problem

Andrew, thanks for the clarification. I'm in Germany and I'll admit to not keeping up to date with the shenanigans in Whitehall. As I said, I think focussing too much on Lily Cole detracts from the argument which would be the unaccountability of Nesta. What other bollocks things have they been involved with? More "community service" engagements for the well-to-do?

Not to worry, we have our own share of investment catapults here. And the bureaucrats and politicians dislike FoI provisions just as much as anywhere else.

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Mushroom

charideee

I set up a new charity website aimed to helpline other 'charities' scam money from the taxpayer in order to pay exorbitant wages to their board of directors.

It's called www.gilding-that-turd.org

My plan is not to actually do anything except getting a celebrity model (preferably on with a bit of a pus on her, seriously a model?) to wax lyrical about it to celebrity fondling magazines.

Can I have my £500k now?

Or I'll settle for My F**KIN MONEY BACK

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Anonymous Coward

Re: charideee

Firefox can't find the server at www.gilding-that-turd.org

Failed retrieving record type from a name server.

Hope it didn't cost you £200k, best speak to Lilly's mates!

Whilst El Reg readers have helpfully generated a spike in her traffic and some are worried about us giving her free publicity, the other side of that coin is that if she's been publicly grumbling about El Reg in Vogue (etc), perhaps we can look forward to loads of vacuous slebs coming here and giving us the benefit of their inane ramblings. Well at least it will be a change from my inane ramblings!

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