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back to article Oh, wow. US Secret Service wants a Twitter sarcasm-spotter

The US Secret Service wants to identify sarcastic tweeters from the serious in a bid that will surely cause its software to sink and buckle. A tender issued by the security agency sought a way to determine sentiment, identify influencers and section off those exercising the lowest form of wit across the twitter sphere. In …

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  1. Arachnoid

    Tunnel vision again

    Shirley some foreign [or home grown] mischief will just design a program to post random predefined "key words" or "coded text" on social media i.e. twitter just in the hope of confusing our American overlords.

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    1. phuzz Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Trollface

      Re: Tunnel vision again

      But that would make the US government look silly, what kind of monster would want to do something like that?

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      1. Arachnoid
        Reply Icon

        10 10

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      2. Captain DaFt
        Reply Icon

        Re: Tunnel vision again

        "make the US government look silly, what kind of monster would want to do something like that?"

        From what I've seen during my life, most elected officials, all party leaders and their respective flunkies, have been engaged in an all out competition to do just that.

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  2. Blacklight
    Coat

    Well...

    Just let it scan the el Reg forums and comments. That should keep it busy until the end of time...

    };^>

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    1. Chemist
      Reply Icon

      Re: Well...

      "Just let it scan the el Reg forums and comments. That should keep it busy until the end of time..."

      S'enough to send an android paranoid

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  3. Arachnoid
    Joke

    Just let it scan the el Reg forums and comments

    Yea but wouldn't we start losing regular contributors as they were round up and sent to Gitmo?

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  4. breakfast Silver badge

    A good opportunity

    This is a great opportunity for a British company to step in and make a huge amount of money by putting in a sarcastic bid for a hojillion dollars which they will be totally unable to detect. Genius.

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  5. The elephant in the room

    Wayne's World-style proto-hastag detection?

    Perhaps they dont realise that some people (i.e. evil-doers) can be sarcastic without overtly flagging it in the manner of "I think the NSA are guardians of liberty... NOT!"

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  6. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    What's next?

    Accepting bids for a gullibility meter?

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  8. Brian Miller

    Doesn't the NSA have something?

    With all of the data hoarding the NSA has been doing, don't they have something they can let the Secret Service use? "Look, we've got some great regular expressions posted on the wall here." "Does that work in Internut Exploder 8?"

    Maybe the Secret Service should just outsource the problem to Amazon's Mechanical Turk. Oh, but you'd need people who speak English and can recognize sarcasm...

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  9. Elmer Phud

    So

    If I posted something like 'OFG AMAZEBALLS!!!' on #Beiberfan it wouldn't get detected?

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  10. sisk

    Given the number of humans who are unable to spot sarcasm in text based communications I'm not optimistic about software based attempts to do so.

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  11. The Grump
    Facepalm

    Captain Obvious says...

    Sarcasm is easy to spot because it's sarcastic. You're welcome, citizen.

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  12. bigtimehustler

    "identify influencers" - that sounds particularly insidious! I hope they want to clarify that with influencers of criminal activity, and not just all people who may influence opinion. Which is what im pretty sure they really mean.

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  13. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    Maybe they could just offer a compulsory choice selection when you sign up with an ISP?

    Welcome to AOL! Please help us by answering the following questions:

    1. Do you want child filters turned off to get all that lovely pr0n? [YES] [NO]

    2. Are you going to be sarcastic on messaging services? [YES] [NO]

    3. Got any fruit on you? [YES] [NO]

    3a. btw, almost forgot, are you a terrorist? [YES] [NO]

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  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    They're asking for true AI

    Being able to detect sarcasm better than a typical person would be far more difficult IMHO than beating a grandmaster in chess, or diagnosing disease better than a top doctor.

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  15. Buster

    Since sarcasm depends on Irony and since the sarcasm detector will be located in the USA it would need to be shielded from the intense irony flux by some sort irony proof Faraday Cage for it to detect anything.

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  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Sarchasm

    Sarchasm (n)

    The gulf between the British capacity for sophisticated humour and the American inability to understand it.

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  17. Herby

    Doesn't someone hold up a sign or something?

    Remember, Leonard DOES hold up a sign that says "Sarcasm", when he sees it. It helps Sheldon understand.

    Yes, the dividing line between the two is a fine one, and many times it is a bit difficult to tell the difference.

    As for Custom agents: "Look, I'd make a joke about it, but then you would need to do lots of paperwork, and I'd get detained for hours/days, so I'll skip it" A "reasonable" agent would understand.

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