back to article Brit game devs WILL get tax relief for, er, EastEnders Game and Legend of Slough

Brussels has given its blessing to a Westminster scheme which will grant generous tax breaks to small video game production firms which pass a controversial "cultural test". The European Commission launched an enquiry into the government's tax plans last year because it didn't think the booming games industry really needed a …

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Anonymous Coward

GTA VII Hull Edition

GTA VII Hull Edition - With a lower skant distribution rate that real Hull.

Or

Last Of Us - Hull Set 20 years after the apocalyptic event it still looks a more desirable place to live than the Hull of today

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Anonymous Coward

How about a fun Eastenders action game?

Stopping oligarchs buying up all the houses in Albert Square?

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I'm sorry but am I the only one who thinks this is an utter waste of MY money that could have been spent on hospitals and doctors and no-win-no-fee lawyers' legal aid money to sue the NHS and all that other tosh the media spout?

If a 'british game' gets a tax break why not British umbrellas, British Beef, British shoes, British parsnips, British condoms, British bombers, British pregnancies?

There's a stink in the tax department ... Revolt I say!

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I suspect we'd get more jobs from £35m if we spent it paying people to dig holes and fill them in again. Or just paying them to fill in the handily pre-created holes in the roads - allowing us to credibly stage GTA: Race to the Bottom.

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JDX
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It's not YOUR money. It stops being yours as soon as you give it to the friendly folks at HMRC.

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"It's not YOUR money. It stops being yours as soon as you give it to the friendly folks at HMRC."

Yes but as a voter I'm still entitled to have a say in how the big pot of cash is wasted!

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Eastenders - the Game.

But I thought that extreme and violent porn was illegal?

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Re: Eastenders - the Game.

"But I thought that extreme and violent porn was illegal?"

I think for it to be illegal it has to be for the sexual gratification of the accused. So, according to the CPS own guidelines, if the scene is in a film subject to BBFC classifcation, then it allowed. However, "The exclusion does not apply in respect of images contained within extracts from classified films which must reasonably be assumed to have been extracted solely or principally for the purposes of sexual arousal. "

So you see, the ugly harridans behind this law are happy so long as it is not enjoyed, but enjoying it makes it a crime. More of the sort of shit headed law making that this country has been subject to for many decades now.

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British Military?

Everyone seems to be joking about British culture, but there's plenty of scope for culturally British games.

Look at GTA London...

More seriously, there are bucket loads of FPS games that focus on US military tactics and structures, which is very different to the British military.

So, I can see this being a good incentive for some British fun!

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Re: British Military?

I have an idea - "Rorke's Drift", combining the elements of tower defence, real time strategy and shoot-dem-up. Oh. Maybe not that one...

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Re: British Military?

How about an earlier version of the current business in the Crimea . .

Oh, hang on a bit.

Alright then 'Dunquerke - Escape to Victory'?

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Re: British Military?

Well, what about "Battle of Jutland: Crossing the T"?

You take your post on the bridge of the dashing battlecruiser Indefatigable... Err, no, let's say - Invincible. Ah, no, scratch this. You are the captain of the Queen Mary and... Oh, crap! There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today.

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Re: British Military?

"There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today."

There certainly was, and with our shells. But a tactical defeat became a strategic victory, which was crucial in throttling Germany's economy and ending WW1. I'm rather proud that a relative of mine was a stoker on the Grand Fleet. 'course, that was in the days when our Navy actually had more than a pitiful number of ships. These days if we did something like the Zeebrugge raid we'd find we had no Navy left.

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Re: British Military?

I would not call that a defeat though - the High Seas Fleet was stopped, turned back and never went out into the Atlantic theatre again... Battlecruiser losses, yes, they were high, but largely self-inflicted through incautious propellant drills, not through tactical mistakes or the lack of fighting spirit.

"I'm rather proud that a relative of mine was a stoker on the Grand Fleet."

So you should be, by right!

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MJI
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Some ideas

Well I have played a few with British cast, and also UC3 had a section in London which was fun.

The Motorstorm series although set around the world had a LOT of Britishness in it, one of my favourite vehicles was based on a Bowler Wildcat, and the titles for Pacific Rift feature one of the Invincible class carriers.

I also theatened a boy who got stupid by mocking up the cover of an Eastenders game complete with Playstation logos, and telling him it would be his next and only game.

1) X-Factor First Person Shooter, where you shoot crap singers and Cowell.

2) SAS stealth shooter, you play as an SAS member.

3) An open world car game with European cars and you drive on the LEFT (Imagine Burnout Paradise with British and European exotica and you do not head on crash every thirty seconds), suggest idealised country A Roads, surrounding a modern city dual carriageways.

4) A tank game where you drive a Challenger 2 in the desert and wipe out all oncomers.

5) Eastenders FPS, in fact an FPS of any soap

6) 1980s cop game where you play a cop based on Gene Hunt.

I will think of more

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Trollface

Re: Some ideas

"you play as an SAS member."

That sounds like a small, short game with nothing to do.

Signed

The Paras.

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Anonymous Coward

How easy to pass the test? Do alien games qualify?

Has anyone looked at the test? Correct me if I'm wrong, but you could get most of the points without any Britishness involved (and little reference to European culture(s) either):

A (ii) - 3 points for "undetermined location" e.g. space

B (i) - 4 points if lead characters from undetermined location e.g. aliens

D 4 points if mainly in English (most games already do all dialog in English)

6 - up to 8 points if staff are 'qualifying persons'. I guess this means EEA citizens? So as long as the game is done mainly in EEA it doesn't have to be very cultural at all? In fact, the project lead, composer and scriptwriters could all be Americans (or Chinese) provided the rest of the team worked in any European country - and then the proposed alien game (or fantasy or abstract angry-birds rip-off game) qualifies for a full 16 points.

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Anonymous Coward

Something involving tea and queueing

... "Tea shop manager" ? You are the manager of a small but very popular tea shop. Can you make enough tea and scones for everyone, and keep the queue moving without it all resorting to a ruckus.

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Re: "Tea shop manager"

This sounds perfect for a tie-in with popular IP. We have a great culture of kids TV in this country ripe for exploitation. A "Big Cook Little Cook: Scone in 60 seconds" game would go gangbusters.

Hmm.

The Wombles - isometric resource management game

What's The Story: Balamory - murder mystery puzzle game

Plants Vs Zombies: Bill & Ben edition

Andy Pandy: Modern Warfare

Someone get Tony Hall on the phone, we're going to be rich!

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Re: Something involving tea and queueing

"make enough tea and scones for everyone"

Game Of Scones?

(works best if you pronounce Scones in a posh namby pamby southern English accent)

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World of Warcraft

Wrath of the Lichfield King

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Gameception?

Wonder if you could get away with making any game which uses a VR headset. Maybe several small games, and in thsoe games you could have a menu where you're on the VR deck from Red Dwarf. And when you die you take off the headset in the game, but you're still in the game.

You could even sell a groinial attachment to go with it.

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Grand Theft Tesco

see title

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Re: Grand Theft Tesco

Or Grand Theft Marks and Spencers. Where they rob you.

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Mushroom

Two words:

"Dan Dare"

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Grand theft Guildford.

No real criminal elements. Just upper middle class twits pretending to be "gangsta".

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Queue simulator...

For those that can't queue enough.

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Re: Queue simulator...

Manage that level and you get to 'Self-Service Till!'

Can you complete the task without:

Calling an assistant without looking like a twat.

Get through the entire scanning level without goiing 'It's in the fucking bagging area!"

Find out where you're supposed to put the credit card.

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Holmes

Sixty three comments...

...as I write, and nobody has pointed out Sir, You Are Being Hunted.

Sir, You Are Being Hunted is a procedurally-generated first-person game of stealth and survival set in a very British world where robots hunt humans for sport. You must use your wits and possibly a flask of tea to stay alive.

Deerstalker FTW!

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Happy

Chav designer?

...see how many different objects you can decorate with the Burberry plaid design

// there seems to be no Burberry icon?

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Game of Thrones

Plot to take control of all of the UK's water supplies and sewage disposal companies from the comfort of your French château.

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Re: Game of Thrones

Cheeky - that game finished years ago.

There's one now about closing schools and giving them to American Hedge Funds.

From the same stable as 'I See No NHS'

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Daily Mail Reader blood pressure survival game

Guide a reactionary Middle Englander through a town centre full of imigrants on benefits, gay weddings, modern art, skateboarders, yoghurt bars, young people not looking where they are going while texting, young people playing loud music in Vauxhall Corsas, young people loitering in the park, young people wearing hoodies, young people pushing prams and so on, without their blood pressure rising to head-exploding levels. Collect beta-blockers and Franklin Mint china power-ups.

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Point & click paedo hunt

beard <click>

beard <click>

taking a photo at a school play <click>

used to be on childrens tv <click>

dog collar <click>

gold shell suit <click>

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Anonymous Coward

Slough?

If making games about Slough will be subsidised, I propose a version of the old "Blitz" computer game:-

http://bestretrogames.blogspot.co.uk/2012/01/blitz-commodore-vic-20-1981.html

It'll be called "Come, Friendly Bombs" and be lovingly ripped off from^w^w^w "inspired by" the John Betjeman poem. Of course, being Slough, there won't be many tall buildings, so it'll be quite easy to level.

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This has some easy elements

One of the rules gives you four points for recording the game-dialogue mostly in English.

How about the original version of The Italian Job?

I recall a BBC series from the 70s called Gangsters.

You can get a good few points just from UK-based creation and production. And Lara Croft is a British character, so it isn't hard to add points there.

It needs a little care, but totting up 16 points doesn't look to need the obvious and slightly risible suggestions.

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Happy

'ovis

Ther az ti bee an'ovis option.

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In all seriousness

Could this get someone updating classics like these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Monty_Python_video_games

Or this?: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kingdom_O%27_Magic#cite_note-1

This?: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bored_of_the_Rings_%28computer_game%29

Or this?: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boggit

(Yes, I have odd tastes in video games.)

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What's the bet some bastardised version of Candy Crush is going to submitted for approval - and pass?

Remember, Mcdonalds (the "food" place) passed Australia's Heart Foundation tick of approval a couple of years ago. No, their "food" hasn't magically gotten better, just everyone else's standards have gotten worse.

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Go

The tax relief is very much needed. It's hard to compete with Canada, Finland, China, German and many other countries let alone the USA for business. Independent games studios are developing some really innovative gaming experiences and narratives against an industry which has actually suffered a lot of companies going to the wall or being gobbled up by the larger publishers. THQ - gone along with some other great names. The rules to pass the test may be... European, but is anyone in the UK going to argue against this place being a leading and furtive ground for great games companies?

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Unhappy

Given the UK's current cultures a few titles come to mind...

London Streets - Yardies v. Jihadis

Essex Excess - Chavs v. Travellers

Corrupt Britain - Bankers and Bonuses v. Members of Parliament and Expenses

Death Wish UK - NHS Hospitals v. The Patients

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Operation Greendale

Pat fights to keep himself in a job, whilst simultaneously fighting to keep the Greendale PO open in the wake of savage govt cuts… and saving Ted from being put out to pasture by savage cuts to EU subsidies and Tesco price cuts.

A Red Dwarf adventure game would be good. Or how's about one of those promotion-type sims based at the Daily Mail…? You're awarded points for outrageous celeb paps, totally fabricated stories, all the while trying to keep from being sued. Or you're Clarkson, attempting to get away with offending as many types of people as possible, without landing the Beeb with - yet another (multi) million-quid lawsuit and, therefore keeping your job.

Brain isn't functioning today, so I'm not able to come up with much…

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Parliamental

High concept:

Try to maintain your lavish lifestyle (and duck pond (and porn subscription)) using your expenses account, all while trying to avoid public scrutiny and nosy reporters in this virtual Houses of Parliament game.

Game style: Mixed. Some point and click adventure, some driving, some reaction games, some puzzles.

Details:

Use Ace Detective-style sequences in the Commons in order to sway the house into voting for measures that allow you to maintain the income that you so obviously deserve, all while keeping the details of your expenses from those pesky activists.

GTA-style sequences where you attempt to get from point A to point B whilst being pursued by paparazzi. You have a prostitute with her lips in your lap, and the idea is to get to point B whilst keeping your Public Outrage star-count low. If the photographers make it back with compromising pictures, your public outrage meter goes up. If you avoid the photographer or flatten them before they make it back, you get away with it.

You may start as a Lord, MP or Bishop. Each character class has some kind of failing that must be kept from the public at all costs. Either £800/roll wallpaper and a penchant for solid gold bog seats, a dope habit, or perhaps a relationship with one of the other class's preteen daughter depending on which class you choose.

MInigames include a steady-hand game where you have to try to evenly divide an 8-ball of coke into separate lines. Points rewarded for even distribution and number of lines tapped out. There's also a reaction game where you control a dominatrix spanking your character in time to music, DDR or Rock Band style.

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Civ: Great Britain

You start with a thriving international empire at the pinnacle of it's power, and have to develop it to the state the nation is in today.

Would be highly educational...

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"Key industry of the future"?

It's a key industry of the now you out of touch loon. It's been a key industry for decades. This is the definition of missing the boat.

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