back to article Feminist Software Foundation gets grumpy with GitHub … or does it?

A group called The Feminist Software Foundation has accused GitHub of misogyny after it disabled access to a repository containing its first effort: a feminist programming language called “C+=”. Pronounced either “C plus equality” or “see equality”, C+= has since found a home at bitbucket.org, where a manifesto declares it is …

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Anonymous Coward

cue self-satirising brogrammers.

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Anonymous Coward

Pussy Power FAIL

The first big problem with this FemSF (sorry, the FSF acronym was already taken by an oppressive male with a bushy beard) is that += doesn't mean what Les Femmes de l'Ordinateur think it means. += is not equality - -- that would be the == operator. += is the assignment operator, of a very specific kind: self-assignment. Given that - as represented by the logo of this movement - += is followed by nothing [ C+= ], it is also a syntax error. It will be flagged as such by any male, inflexible, testosterone-drunk, oppressive, closed-minded, boorish and insensitive compiler.

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Re: Pussy Power FAIL

"Given that - as represented by the logo of this movement - += is followed by nothing [ C+= ], it is also a syntax error. It will be flagged as such by any male, inflexible, testosterone-drunk, oppressive, closed-minded, boorish and insensitive compiler."

Actually, I think it could be a useful concept in functional/lazy evaluation languages.

[C+=] makes C an indeterminate number that is greater than variable C was previously.

So (C==D) would return true if D was in the set/range of numbers symbolized by C.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Pussy Power FAIL

'[C+=] makes C an indeterminate number that is greater than variable C was previously.'

O rly?

C+= -5;

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Coat

Man pages

Naturally, the "Man pages" will be renamed "Woman pages".

Mine's the one with the Fredrika Bremer biography in the pocket.

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Coat

Re: Man pages

"history" has been completely rewritten, and is now called "herstory".

The "touch" command has been removed from the standard distribution due to its inappropriate use by high-level managers.

Brought to you by the People's Committee for Democratically Organizing the System (PC-DOS).

Colin

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Re: Man pages

"The "touch" command has been removed from the standard distribution due to its inappropriate use by high-level managers."

Are you going to leave finger(1) in?

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Re: Man pages

Actually, I think it's "wimmin" - apparently they don't like the "man" in "woman" - so to speak ;-)

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Re: Man pages

If I am not mistaken, Man is short for manual which has its roots in manuensis - by hand - to which I offer only the index finger of my right one to this gibberish.

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Re: Man pages

I offer the finger next to that (no not the thumb).

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Wrong Tools

I can find no dictionary definition to support my claim, but I don't think I've ever heard "git" being used to describe a woman. In my experience, it's always used to describe a stupid and/or miserable old man.

This suggests to me that a new feminist source control system might be needed - say, "hag" - together with a new feminist project hosting service - say "haghub.com". (That domain appears to be already "registered and parked with Crazy Domains". So, there's hope.)

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Re: Wrong Tools

Well 'haghub' sounds a bit harsh. How about 'Gitbint'?

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Joke

Re: Wrong Tools

Does not BitBucket use hg? Sorry, just could not resist...

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Re: Wrong Tools

github for some, bitchhub for others, www.bitchhub.com is availiable (for about 30 seconds)

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Paris Hilton

It's called COBOL!

Jokes aside, isn't it true that the first algorithm was invented by a woman (Ada Lovelace), and also the first compiler (Grace Hopper)?

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Anonymous Coward

Named my dog Ada. Was looking for a subtle geek name for her.

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Silver badge

C the point?

> By point 12 it's hard to take things seriously

Bzzzzt! (“Forced program termination is not allowed ... " not exactly pro-choice, is it?)

Failure is on the cards by point #4 (Hence, the language should be English-based) - there's inclusiveness for you

and by point #10: a program rolls for a 40% chance of ... 40% of being ... and 40% of executing by a ... it seems to be suggesting that in the feminist world things have a 120% chance of doing something.

Although the chance of this language being for real is much closer to 0 than to 120%

P.S. At the time of writing (07:50 UK time, the Bitbucket repository has become unavailable. Maybe it's gone on maternity leave? Leaving all the other languages to pick up its work, for no extra rewards.

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Joke

C+= ?

It looks like they are trying to add something (to see?). Not clear what, though...

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Go

Inspiring text

I'm reading the docs, and it's comedy gold!

http://feministsoftwarefoundation.org/C-plus-Equality/repository/Fri%2013%20Dec%202013%2003:38:14%20PM%20PST/README.md

Selected gems:

Primitive variable types are not defined on declaration. Instead, the variable is free to choose its own type when it is utilised/-ized. This preserves the variable's right to self-identify as any datatype it feels that it is.

Booleans** are __banned__ for imposing a binary view of true and false. **C+=** operates paralogically and transcends the trappings of Patriarchal binary logic. **No means no, and yes could mean no as well. Stop raping women. Instead of **Booleans** we now have **Boolean+**, or **_bool+_** for short, which has three states: *true, false, and maybe*. The number of states may go up as intersectionality of the moment calls for such a need.

Line terminators should not be used. Programmers get to select their own 'line decorator' to use in lieu of a line terminator. This is of course open to interpretation and can be eschewed altogether as a badge of solidarity for differently abled programmers.

In C+=, you don't write to a file. Dictating to the poor files what sort of information they must store is Patriarchal. Instead, The \<fileIO> library brings in the functions pleaseWrite() and pleaseTellMe(). They both have a chance to return "no", and if so all other calls to the same file are automatically passed over because as we all know, once a file says no to being written, you must always respect that.

Sweet.

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JDX
Gold badge

Does it work?

Did anyone try it out?

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Re: Does it work?

The interpreter compiles but I can't seem to make it interpret much of anything, surprisingly enough.

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Re: Does it work?

Not unless you tell it what a great job it's doing and how much you respect it first.

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Re: Does it work?

$inherpret hellofeminists.Xe --howWasYourDay

I don't feel like it, try again later

ERROR: RAPE

And I thought I was being kind and sensitive. Must've seen me coming

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Anonymous Coward

Satire

I looked at this a couple of days ago (via slashdot, I think) and it seemed obvious to me that it was a satirical follow-through from the article by Arielle Schlesinger, which itself seems to be serious.

Quite amusing, I thought.

I must admit that I found the concept put forward by Arielle Schlesinger to be intriguing, and I would like to see how her efforts pan out.

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Re: Satire

I agree. I figured it was very much tongue in cheek* and playing** on the more outlandish stereotypes*** of feminist theory.

*which isn't to devalue the contribution of those with neither tongues or cheeks. Solidarity with oral differenced peoples!

**this isnt a dig at anyone without the ability to play games. Solidarity with our non imaginitive sisters!

***Stereo- or left/ right is a binary outlook. Solidarity with all shades of the spacial aural spectrum!

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Re: Satire

From Arielle Schlesinger to El Reg via 4chan.

This is the cancer that is killing /b/.

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This is obviously satire

written by men. The fact that many here can't see that is a reflection of the literal mindedness of the Asperger Syndrome* suffering male readership of this enormously popular publication.

*in good company:

Al Gore, 1948-, former US Vice President and presidential candidate

Bill Gates, 1955-, Entrepreneur and philanthropist. A key player in the personal computer revolution.

Bob Dylan, 1941-, US singer-songwriter

Charles Dickinson, 1951, US Writer

John Nash, 1928-, US mathematician (portrayed by Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, USA 2001)

Joseph Erber, 1985-, young English composer/musician who has Asperger's Syndrome, subject of a BBC TV documentary

Kevin Mitnick, 1963-, US "hacker"

Michael Palin, 1943-, English comedian and presenter

Oliver Sacks, 1933-, UK/US neurologist, author of The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat and Awakenings

Robin Williams, 1951-, US Actor

etc...

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Coat

Re: This is obviously satire written by men.

Because women are obviously not capable of satire? Insensitive misogynist jerk.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: This is obviously satire

How many of these people with alleged Aspergers were formally diagnosed, how many are self-"diagnosed" (*) and how many are the subject of random speculation from others of varying expertise on the subject (**)?

This blog post suggests that such lists may be highly questionable:-

http://justnotsaid.blogspot.co.uk/2011/12/famous-people-with-aspergers-syndrome.html

Back to the subject though, I do agree that this alleged language- or rather, the ludicrous rationale that goes along with it- is so obviously over the top and parodic that it can't be taken as anything other than satire.

(*) i.e. Like every second poster on Slashdot

(**) i.e. Down to and including random people who don't have a clue posting on Internet forums.

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Re: This is obviously satire

Yep, you're right to question that lineup.

Michael Palin suffers with Aspergers? Only someone who hasn't ever seen or heard him or his work would say that. I'd be amazed.

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Re: This is obviously satire

I used to say that I longed to see the day that "Asperger's Syndrome" would join "penis envy" on the recycling bin of embarrassing old psychiatric diagnoses. Well, according to the DSM V, that day is here. You may not be able to make eye contact or read emotions, it is true; but it is also true that your psychiatrist or psychologist cannot put down AS as the syndrome you're treated for--the code is gone, and the insurance companies won't cough up.

Was Nash ever diagnosed with AS? My impression is that he was flat-out schizophrenic.

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Stop

Re: This is obviously satire

What is your problem misogynistic scum?

FRIENDLY FEMINIST REMINDER:

1) Womyn are as capable (if not more) to make satire than men.

2) It is offensive and TRIGGERING your usage of "Asperger Syndrome".

3) THIS IS REAL!! This is real programming language done and supported by womyn! You are just a part of a group trying to work in the deterioration in effort regarding the program!!

Again, this is real. Over-privileged scum such as HIM (I'm pretty sure you are a fat anti-Semitic virgin) are part of a group defaming this effort. I have being in other feminist approved forums (I have a list, only sharing womyn) and have encountered these people!! This is real! This is happening!!

My grandmother was working in feminist literature during the 1930's, however it is scum like HIM that ridiculed her, persecuted her, and eventually MURDERED her on the death camps. She was one of the first ones to die because she was a feminist and a Jew!!

Sorry I have written too much, but HIS anti-progressive behavior and speak TRIGGERED me!! This is something I don't usually share, but over-privileged scum just pissed me off!! The world would be in ruin if it wasn't for my people which fought for womyn's right!! I cannot believe the amount of Anti-Semitism which still exists today in the UK. I love the country, I love you guys... but you have to do something about the Anti-Semites which are still out there!!

This program is the real thing, this program will make things better.

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Anonymous Coward

Brogrammers

A student thinks about how a feminist programming language might look. Perhaps it won't be particularly useful or essential research, but that is what academia is for and it can bring out useful questions.

But a bunch of brogrammers decide that this is TERRIBLE and must be SHOT DOWN so start making rape jokes.

There's satire, and then there's just being a bunch of dicks.

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Re: Brogrammers

"A student thinks about how a feminist programming language might look. Perhaps it won't be particularly useful or essential research, but that is what academia is for and it can bring out useful questions."

That's just the thing. It isn't useful thought that programming languages are mysogyinst. It sounds stupid, looks stupid and is stupid. Every time a 'femininst' comes out with some insane idea* it just makes the movement look less serious and less important, the same way as the standard remark "oh, so all other crimes have been solved" when the police arrest someone for making 'threatening' remarks about Robin Hood Airport.

* e.g., rockets and missiles are penis shaped because of men trying to pierce things, rather than keeping the hot bits away from the bits that go bang/contain humans, or that fluid mechanics is unsolved but rigid dynamics is solved because mathematicians are male and don't care about fluids -- both of these are true stories and beliefs held by people with academic positions.

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Re: Brogrammers

There's satire, and then there's just being a bunch of dicks

Indeed, and this isn't even a patch on Intercal

" It is a well-known and oft-demonstrated fact that a person whose work is incomprehensible is held in high esteem. For example, if one were to state that the simplest way to store a value of 65536 in a 32-bit INTERCAL variable is:

DO :1 <- #0¢#256

any sensible programmer would say that that was absurd. Since this is indeed the simplest method, the programmer would be made to look foolish in front of his boss, who would of course happened to turn up, as bosses are wont to do. The effect would be no less devastating for the programmer having been correct.

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Re: Brogrammers

What is a "brogrammer" as distinct from anything else? There are arseholes in every profession, some are men and some are women.

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Re: Brogrammers

Being screwed as the last attempt to be taken seriously?

We must respect this humility and pass it around, even if just for fun.

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qubits

So a feminist language must be interpreted not compiled and must be functional instead of OO.

Seems like it would be perfect for quantum computing.

It is only the elites who offer us the non-choice of 0 or 1, all hail the mother qubit!!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: qubits

Damn it, you got there first! Have an up vote.

(AC @ 10:10)

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Anonymous Coward

Quantum computing?

Actually, I think there might be something to be said for a language implementing a womans logic. I'm not convinced it will work properly on conventional hardware. But in quantum computing where a value can simultaneously be both true and false, using a circular form to indicate true states and another circular form to indicate false states could be the future.

Unfortunately, this could end my logic based programming career. In the past I have had the misfortune to argue with a woman and I must say, the part that went "Well if you don't know why I'm angry then I'm not going to tell you!", still baffles me.

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Coat

Re: Quantum computing?

I can't help observing that to get a Fermion back into the same state it started in, you have to rotate it through not 360 degrees but 720 degrees. Are Fermions female? Discuss.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Quantum computing?

"...the part that went \"Well if you don't know why I'm angry then I'm not going to tell you!\", still baffles me."

This is one of the basic communication difference between male and female: direct and indirect; verbal and non-verbal. If you don't understand that, then you'll have a hard time with women. It's kind of interesting how we (men) are expected to understand that.

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Thumb Up

The .Xe files

/* brainfuck.Xe -- a Brainfuck interpreter that obeys feminist logic

* and is free of any cisgendered, male, heteronormative, white or any

* other oppressive bias.

*

* We have taken great care in ensuring that the logic of this interpreter

* complies with the emotional sensibilities of women, PoC, otherkin and all

* minorities.

*/

\http://feministsoftwarefoundation.org/C-plus-Equality/repository/Sun%2015%20Dec%202013%2002:52:04%20AM%20PST/brainfuck.Xe

I'm quite sure my giggling quota has just been met for the year.

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Re: The .Xe files

> I'm quite sure my giggling quota has just been met for the year.

Well don't look at the .gitignore then...

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Silver badge

The sad part is,

This sort of thing actually happens. Look up atheism+. What does the + stand for? For rabidly militant feminism with a side salad of equally unhinged LBGT activism. All tacked onto the lack of belief in god. They're co-opting one movement in order to further another.

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Anonymous Coward

On a slightly more serious note I did once meet someone who worked in the Sun documentation group who was constantly fighting against engineers using the terms "master" and "slave" in their documentaion. Think she was on a losing battle though

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fighting against engineers using the terms "master" and "slave" in their documentaion

I'm intrigued to know what she suggested as an alternative. IMO the terms are spot on, and may even amount to an implicit ethical warning for some (far?) future date, that there's a major problem should "slave" software ever approach the threshold for sentience.

"Producer" and "Consumer" are also used, but differently: this terminology suggests that the consumer side is not incapable of taking decisions. And of course, it's also politically loaded!

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fighting against engineers using the terms "master" and "slave" in their documentaion

But we don't call the HA service checking them "overseer", we call it "heartbeat". Because we love shitty Sunday night ITV dramas.

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