back to article Wozniak: Please, whatever you do, DON'T buy me an iPad Air

If you're wondering what Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak wants for Christmas, here's a clue: anything except one of the latest iPads. The beardy boffin has slammed Cupertino's new iPad Air and the new Mini Retina, which is fitted with the hi-res screen which was once only used in larger models. Shockingly, Woz also admitted he …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "Agreed, but decided to be safe, didn't want anyone to take me seriously."

    Mission accomplished!

  2. oolor

    @rcorrect,

    It would work a lot better if one could imagine anything about Woz being thin.

    Perhaps Apple should look into making him the driving instructor, at least then he will be within reach of the wheel and have a brake pedal.

  3. Luke McCarthy

    Flash memory size

    It seems like the size increase of flash memory in devices has stalled. I guess until they start doing the chip stacking thing in mass production he will have to wait. No way the Apple would ever put spinning rust inside an iPad!

  4. Tim Parker

    Re: Flash memory size

    "It seems like the size increase of flash memory in devices has stalled. I guess until they start doing the chip stacking thing in mass production he will have to wait."

    Alas it has less to do with technology and more do with market placement and profit margins.

  5. Piro

    Re: Flash memory size

    All about marketing.

    There's no physical reason they couldn't put an obscene amount in. Just take a look at the volume of a microSD card. It's barely anything.

  6. Myvekk

    Re: Flash memory size

    Maybe if someone at Apple looked inside one & noticed that instead of being rusty, those pie platters are now really shiny, they might think they are more fashionable & use them?

  7. Bill Gould

    Storage indeed

    I'm currently running on an Asus TF101 for my tablet, and a Galaxy S3 for my phone. Both have microSD slots. I want to update my tablet and I've been looking at either an iPad or a Nexus 2 10, and neither of those have storage expansions. The iPad goes to 128 at least, but ... iPad. Ugh. I don't want to*. I hope that when the Nexus 2 10 is announced, since Asus is rumored to be the manufacturer this time, there will be a microSD slot.

    *Apple has great customer service in store, and their on screen keyboards are top-notch. I just don't like the brand, the lock-in, or value for my money.

  8. John Robson Silver badge

    Re: Storage indeed

    No SD card in the nexus, but at least you can use a USB stick, or 20, or a USB microSD card reader if you like...

    OK, they're not internal - but it works rather well - you can even plug in a TB or two of HDD without issue (will probably require power from either the desk or car...

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Storage indeed

    This is mass market stuff - how many people are going to carry around a load of USB stocks or a multi Tb hard drive and power supply which is now larger than the device.

    Solution - buy multiple 128Gb iPads Woz - I'm sure they would do you a discount or you have more money to really care.

  10. Sean Timarco Baggaley

    Re: Storage indeed

    "No SD card in the nexus, but at least you can use a USB stick, or 20, or a USB microSD card reader if you like..."

    So, er, just like an iPad with the Camera Connection Kit then?

    No, it doesn't have a MicroSD slot built in, but most users don't need it. Why compromise a product's design and usability* for the sake of a relatively tiny number of edge cases?

    If you want a tablet with stacks of storage, buy a Windows 8 model instead. Some of those come with 256 (and even 512 GB) of storage.

    * (removable storage is a royal pain in the arse from a UI perspective. There's a bloody good reason why Apple went with software-eject systems for their Mac floppy disk drives back in the day.)

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Storage indeed

    I HATED the mac floppy eject system...

    More than ones there were problems caused by it at my school...

    More than once I commented to the teachers they should just dump them and buy Amiga's, but no budget so we were stuck with them! (and maybe if they had brought amigas amiga would not be the dead dodo it is today)

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Face it whatever storage you put in it's never enough for some people and others would never accept external storage. So if they make a 1Tb iPad Woz would probably want a 2Tb one.

    My iTunes library is getting on for 2Tb in size but I learn to take the stuff I need - just like when you go on holiday you don't pack ALL your clothes?

  13. Myvekk

    But, but, but, by the time they produce a 1TB version, his BBT collection will be 2TB! :p

  14. Just_this_guy

    But can't he stream this stuff to his iPad? It's all on YouTube! - Oh wait...

  15. RoboJ1M
    WTF?

    US Infrastructure Fail?

    Wow.

    That sucks.

    We used to have lame broadband and data contracts in the UK but now they're awesome.

    Glad I'm not there!

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    He has a point

    At a recent hotel stay in Southern Africa, I found I could download a maximum of one iPlayer programme per night on my iPad Mini (after I'd watched all the stuff I'd downloaded before travelling), over a VPN connection. When I woke up each morning, it was pot luck as to whether the download had worked. Thankfully, the hotel had one of the best selections of DSTV channels I've seen (in a hotel).

    Bad internet is bad internet, however you spin it. At least Apple recognises this (and charges accordingly, if you want 128gb), unlike Google's cloud centric, Utopian view of the world. I think Woz's expectations are a little OTT.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: He has a point

    128gb is still a pretty reasonable amount to be able to carry around with you at one time.

  18. Tom 38 Silver badge
    WTF?

    Re: He has a point

    Fuck me, could you not think of anything better to do in Southern Africa than watch Eastenders?

  19. Duke2010

    Re: He has a point

    "128gb is still a pretty reasonable amount to be able to carry around with you at one time."

    Not when they charge over £700 for it!

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: He has a point

    Why, what what would you do on a business trip to the arse end of Africa? I usually go to these places to work, and there's not a great deal between the office and a little time to myself in the evening? Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I'd leave the office at 19:00 in the evening and go on a fucking game drive, or perhaps engage in a bit of shooting and fishing? Moron.

  21. Mike Bell

    Christmas present suggestion for the 'storage-hungry slab fondler'...

    A little fishing rod so he can sit under a toadstool next to his garden pond.

  22. dynjo

    Bored of his sensationalism

    Woz has done almost nothing for decades now except whine about everybody else's products.

    Invent/do something new or STFU.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Bored of his sensationalism

    Whereas you're giving us your opinions, and what do you do / have done exactly?

  24. DropBear Silver badge
    FAIL

    Re: Bored of his sensationalism

    "Whereas you're giving us your opinions, and what do you do / have done exactly?" - Epic fail. Read up on the "appeal to accomplishment" fallacy, mate. It'll do you good.

  25. Spoddyhalfwit

    Why the obsession with thin?

    I don't get why these new products go to so much length to knock a millimetre off the thickness of the device. I'd rather pay less, or have more battery. A slightly thinner iPad in my bag isn't going to be noticed (I have mine in a sleeve anyway).

    Its the same with laptops and phones. I have a nice Asus ultrabook... its pretty thin - I have no interest in having a thinner one. Then I have a Lumia 920, I love the wireless charging, but on the 925 they removed that to save a bit of weight and thickness. I don't see the point - I've never once thought "this phone is too heavy".

    We seem to be getting to an age where innovation is largely about making something that is already amazingly thin even thinner, yet phones seem to be growing in other dimensions in any case for a larger screen, so whats the point of selling it to me on the basis of how thin it is?

  26. Efros

    Re: Why the obsession with thin?

    First thing you do is stick it in a case which normally doubles the thickness of the tablet and then actually makes it gripable rather than slipoutofyourhandstosmashintosmithereens-able.

  27. Matt Piechota

    Pot

    As for the broadband: if I had Woz's money, my house would be well up in the mountains, where cable and phone fear to tread. It doesn't surprise me much that he would be able to get awesome boardband up there. I'd probably have a solution though, either microwave or run my own fiber.

    Wifi disks: airplane travel renders those almost moot for this usage.

    SD slots: meh. I'm more of a USB stick and cable to tablet fan. If I'm watching something on the tablet I'm not worried about being *that* mobile so it's not that big a deal. Of course, I tend to read on planes and whatnot rather than watch movies and my ereader can manage a *lot* of books.

  28. sabroni Silver badge

    Re: I'm more of a USB stick and cable to tablet fan, it's not that big of a deal.

    Spooky! He lives on!

  29. David Simpson 1

    Well no because he wants more Storage not less, your metaphor generator is broken.

  30. mike999

    '...rubbish American sitcoms....'

    And your dry as dust Brit humor is superior? Dream on Britbois....

  31. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: '...rubbish American sitcoms....'

    C'mon, Big Bang Theory is simply dreadful. And just to prove I'm not biased against U.S sitcoms, The IT Crowd was just as humourless in my view (wow, IT geek wears glasses and is a pathetic loser, never seen that stereotype before), and I lurrrve Family Guy (well, the older series)

  32. L05ER

    Re: '...rubbish American sitcoms....'

    far superior. beiber/gaga/spears supergroup vs the beatles superior.

    i'm merican and i support this message.

  33. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Fanbois please...

    Please Apple fanbois. What ridiculousnes. Wanting more than 128GB of storage somehow requires dozens of sticks or SD, which are inconvenient to carry (even though 128GB of storage would use 4 32GB cards, and fewer larger cards)? But, somehow, carrying a bulky, kludgey, and slow wifi storage device is a perfectly fine solution at the same time (slow because the speed limit of wifi is lower than USB or SD)? Having closed, non-expandable devices is fine for a lot of people. For others it's not, and self-contradcitory fanboi-arguments won't change that.

    On a side note... Woz doesn't have broadband at home? I'm pretty shocked honestly.

  34. RAMChYLD

    Re: Fanbois please...

    > On a side note... Woz doesn't have broadband at

    > home? I'm pretty shocked honestly.

    I'm not. I have a couple of friends in the US who're stuck with DSL because they live outside the city limits. No mobile broadband coverage either, unless they pay through their nose for a separate data plan AND a tethering plan.

  35. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    "I don't get why these new products go to so much length to knock a millimetre off the thickness of the device. I'd rather pay less, or have more battery."

    ...

    " A slightly thinner iPad"

    ...

    "I have a nice Asus ultrabook... its pretty thin"

    ...

    " Then I have a Lumia 920, I love the wireless charging, but on the 925 they removed that to save a bit of weight and thickness. I don't see the point - I've never once thought "this phone is too heavy"."

    I don't see any point either. But, you are basically selecting a couple products where they decided thinness was the primary goal, then are making it out like everyone is doing this. They are not, if you look on the open market there's plenty of devices at whatever size you want.

  36. 080

    RTFA

    "Making the full size ipad thinner and roughly a third lighter is a premium enhancement."

    Not in my book, it cost you so much that the first thing most people do is stick it in a tacky looking thick protective case.

    Get a grip lads, the man wants PORTABLE storage for hotel use not yet another power supply and more cables. Micro SD cards are cheap, portable and need no additional power supply or leads

  37. El Andy

    Maybe she can buy him a Surface and a portable hard drive for his media, you can have 1TB for next to nothing when you have a real USB port.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let's see. I'll buy a ten inch iPad and on screen keyboard, WiFi enabled hard drive, Wifi enabled SD card reader with five extra 128GB SD cards. That's fifteen hundred quid.

    Or I can get a 15" notebook, 2TB HD, Wifi, Bluetooth, 8GB and built in SD card reader for three hundred and fifty. Hmmmmm....

  39. alexmcm

    Maybe it's because the market for people who want to carry their entire Audio/visual library with them on every holiday or business trip is very small? Realistically, even for the longest break most people would be happy with a couple of hundred hours of TV programmes and films, and a few thousand hours of audio books and radio shows. That doesn't even come close to filling a 128gb tablet.

  40. Tank boy
    Meh

    For the love of god

    Just buy a fucking laptop. There, I fixed it.

  41. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How much longer?

    I only wonder, how much longer will Apple be able to create so much buzz about every crap they produce.

    Their next PR video will be a remake of their previous advert, where people go to places like Taj Mahal, the Pyramids of Giza or Machu Picchu only to have a stranger take a photo of them with the sight in the background so they can stare like morons at the supersharp reproduction of the real thing.

    I wish I were still around when people come to their senses. It will be a great time for comedy once people realize how completely irrelevant things like iPads are to life. Don't get me wrong, I do appreciate technology and progress, but the last progress in handheld devices happened when the first iPhone came out. They've been milking the idea for more than it's worth ever since. I'm not just talking about Apple now either.

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