back to article Fanbois shun 'crappy plastic' iPhone 5C

Fanbois have once again queued to obtain the new iPhone in Australia, where an accident of time zones means punters willing to do without sleep can be among the very first in the world to play with Apple's latest. The Reg dropped in to Apple Store Broadway, a Cupertinian outpost in a small mall on the fringe of Sydney's …

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  1. PudgeFacker

    The next time I'm embarassed about what I do for a living...

    I'm going to play that video again. PS what I do for a living is similar to what you do, Simon.

  2. WinHatter

    I can hear the Queen saying

    "Is he alright ???"

    Looking at Mr Motivational Blue in that video.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can hear the Queen saying

      I find "motivational" stuff sickening and demotivating.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: I can hear the Queen saying

      And his yank accent makes one cringe. It's Sydney, Australia. I suppose they could not find an Australian idiotic enough to behave like that even for money. I do nothing when ordered by an American on sheer principal, at least not in that kind of accent.

  3. JDX Gold badge

    Note that

    none of the people deriding the 5C have actually seen one in the flesh, let alone touched it. Apple surely could do with passing one around inside the shop!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Note that

      That isn't the point.

      Anandtech has shown that the 5s genuinely is a very advanced product - forget the 64 bits, the Apple-designed Arm variant is very, very fast indeed, as are the graphics. I wouldn't buy one myself (too fragile, battery life too short, and complete overkill for what I actually need), but why would I pay almost as much for the very inferior 5c? It isn't hard to guess which one will have the fastest depreciation, for a start.

      Other manufacturers have a much bigger price ratio between models with equivalent specification difference. The 5c is simply very poor value for money.

  4. Bob From Marketing

    Meh!

    Think I'll wait a year.

  5. Peter Gordon

    *sigh*

    I'd queue for a Palm Pre 4. But then i'd probably be the only one, so it wouldn't really be a queue :(

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: *sigh*

      There would be two of us. I fired up my old Pre 2 the other day to see if it still worked. Well, it does, kind of, and it now seems very slow. But the UI still seems better than any other, as an actual mobile phone. It doesn't get in the way, it doesn't try to impress you with its awesomeness, it just does what it does quickly, simply and very consistently.

      1. Peter Gordon

        Re: *sigh*

        That is exactly why I still use my Pre 3 as my only phone. I've never found any other phone UI to be so fluid, it just never feels like it gets in the way.

        I am the technical support for my family, and between them they have various Android, Windows Phone and iPhones, and it always feels nice to use the Pre 3 after using their phones...

  6. dougal83

    To a normal person all the w00ting from the smurfs would put me off buying a phone. Actually I lie I wouldn't buy one! Wonder if that dude is selling his nexus...

  7. The FunkeyGibbon

    It never ceases to amaze me

    I never understand why people want to be 'first' with these things.

    [OldMan] Back in my day we called 'em early adopters and they worked out the bugs for the rest of us, hehe![/OldMan]

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Angel

    5C...

    I'm the only one seeing the acronym 5Crap?

    1. Anonymous IV

      Re: 5C...

      And, pray, what acronym do you see for the 5S...?

      1. Tim Bates

        Re: 5C...

        LOL - I pointed out at work one day (with the help of about 60 seconds in MS Paint) that the iPhone4's promotional material was very easy to modify to say "ShitPhone4"... Big white Sans Serif font on a plain black background was far too inviting.

  9. Anthony Hulse

    Of course those people don't want the 5c

    It's aimed at being a Christmas present for all those teens and other halves moving up from an iPod Touch. Anyone stupid enough to camp out on product launch day (for anything, not just Apple products) is going to want the latest and greatest, not last year's model rebadged.

    BTW, the 5c will sell by the bucketload. Not amongst techies of course, but in its millions nonetheless.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

      BTW, the 5c will sell by the bucketload. Not amongst techies of course

      The inference being that the kind of losers who queue up outside the Apple store on the release morning are "techies", rather than coffee shop workers and graphic design students (which is what a survey of last years queue outside the Regent Street Apple store discovered).

      1. Anthony Hulse

        Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

        "Techies" doesn't necessarily have to mean IT workers.

        1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

          Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

          "Techies" might not mean IT workers, but it probably doesn't apply to most people who'd queue overnight to get a phone that will be obseleted by its maker within a year either.

          Of the people I know who own iPhones, one is jewellery designer, one a social carer, one a graphic designer, one a software tester, and one a receptionist. Of those, only the software tester could be remotely considered to be 'techie'. Given that I work as a developer for a software firm, and everyone else here pretty much has an Android phone, the relationship between 'techie' and 'Apple' seems to be that if you're a techie, you don't choose iPhone, at least round here.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Of course those people don't want the 5c

            There was a fashion at one time for developers to buy Macbook Pros (and put Windows and Linux on them as alternative OSes). If you did a lot of travelling it made sense, because the nearest Windows equivalents in spec terms tended to be very large and very heavy. Of course, if you actually need two hard drives, they weren't an option.

            I suspect this is where it all started; developers automatically bought iPhones because they assumed they would have the same technical benefits as the Pro, and the status thing kicked in. Allow for the usual lag between early adopters and mainstream perception, and developers are probably well past iPhone peak but the ancillary staff are still on the way up.

            Why do I find this interesting? I'm outing myself; I once studied sociology of religion (really) and I still keep it up a bit as a kind of hobby. It's sometimes interesting to read the comments on, say, BGR, and compre them to the sort of stuff posted by evangelical Christians and obsessive Catholics. I do really think that for some people, mobile phones have become a religion substitute. All the mechanisms of anticipation, fulfilment, discussing with like minded people, identifying enemy outgroups and rubbishing them exist in both cases. The only difference is that one is not based on imaginary concepts, other than the use of j in wave equations.

  10. ukgnome

    The 5c is still a great phone

    It's just fugly and too expensive.

    But if I had the cash I would buy a green one.

  11. Dave K

    But it's just a cheapened iPhone 5!

    The iPhone 5C is just an iPhone 5 in a cheaper plastic case (and a slightly different battery). All the fanboys that queue up for a new phone will almost certainly already have iPhone 5s, so of course they're not buying a cheaper version of what they all have. They'll all be wanting the 5S. The 5C is not aimed at the queue-for-several-days fanatic, so I'm not surprised that few people in the queue want one.

  12. chiller

    Queuing for a phone?

    No, this is not a dream.

  13. James Gosling

    Queuing...

    Can't you just phone them to order or something? And there's that new fangled t'internet thing too!

  14. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Happy

    "We observed a lot of grim-faced buyers counting out thick wads of cash"

    You phone is in the laundry.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The video with the motivational guy

    I actually found quite promising, most of the staff had their "Oh god not this bollocks again" expressions on, seemed it was just one or two of the female staff who seemed to be screaming wildly on queue, the rest of them bore the expression like "Is it over yet?".

    Loved Mr Motivational's style, shirt tail hanging out at the back and sweater sleeves rolled up to show shirt sleeves, guy obviously subscribes to GQ lmao

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: The video with the motivational guy

      There was lots of milling about, and not very much motivating happening there.

      I guess the guy was a holiday rep for Club 18-30, and now he's gone "up in the world" to working for Apple.

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I wonder

    Half an hour before launch, staff repeatedly formed a circle and chanted something.

    Hail satan, who art in hades

    The iPhone is with thee

    Hated are thou amongst the living

    And hated is the fruit of your labours, iPhone.

    Hated Satan, advocate of Jobs,

    Aid us sinners

    Now at teh hour of Apples death.

    Amen.

  17. This post has been deleted by its author

  18. FlingoBingo

    That video is fcking mental.

  19. smartypants
    Pint

    I for one welcome this new religion

    The advantages:

    1) Don't try to cling to control of schools, seats in the house of lords etc. to perpetuate their world view

    2) So far at least, not at all bothered by people's sexuality

    3) Absolutely no idiotic dogma about 'the role of women in society'

    4) The religious claims about reality are at least rooted in fact some of the time. The Jesus phone really does exist, for example, which is more than can be said of the usual subject of worship in religious cults.

    5) We are still allowed to have a bit of a giggle about the adherents of this religion without them going all po-faced and strutting around demanding respect.

    6) Nobody in this religion yet seems the desire to relieve other people of their freedom or life in pursuit of their religious views.

    (Wind history forward a hundred years, and perhaps the religion will have developed to be as tedious as many others, perhaps...)

    1. Paw Bokenfohr

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      I'd give more than one upvote if I could.

      If this is a new religion, as El Reg seems to insist on pushing, then it's pretty much the least harmful of any religion ever. Even Buddhists sometimes set themselves on fire. Applosians (TM me) haven't been known to do that - they simply BELIEVE and let everyone else get on with their lives other than the occasional sly evangelising.

      1. Mark .

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        Least harmful indeed, but sadly becoming one with the most evangelism - from individuals, to product placement in almost every TV show, film and advert, and other mentions about every 10 minutes, and the prominent logos everywhere.

        Thankfully a situation when a bank or other company only caters for say Christians is now illegal - but if it's a religion, can we put a stop to only providing an app for iphone users? It's like "Designed for IE" all over again, except at least IE once was the number one browser...

      2. Jediben

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        "Applosians haven't been known to do that"

        Real life begs to differ:

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/06/20/danger_as_exploding_macbook_pro_battery_is_recalled/

        http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/03/01/apple_sued_for_exploding_ipod_touch/

        Coolaid - you have too much of it.

      3. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: I for one welcome this new religion

        Even Buddhists sometimes set themselves on fire.

        Don't worry, your iPhone can do that for you:

        http://www.gizmodo.co.uk/2012/07/iphone-catches-fire-on-camera-in-finnish-mans-back-pocket/

    2. silent_count

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      "1) Don't try to cling to control of schools.. "

      Their religion is parasitic. Instead of building their own schools, their disciples are trying to get their prayer tablets into secular schools under the guise of 'improving education outcomes' or similar twaddle.

    3. P. Lee

      Re: I for one welcome this new religion

      I for one welcome this new religion

      The advantages:

      1) Don't try to cling to control of schools, seats in the house of lords etc. to perpetuate their world view

      I think you'll find the religion you mock was the one which *started* these schools because it views education as important. It also views politicians as susceptible to corruption and has been an important counterbalance to the knee-jerk, soundbite politics which have been destroying our freedoms over the last several governments. If anything, the churchmen in the Lords need criticising for not doing enough to protect the "orphans, widows and strangers in the land."

      2) So far at least, not at all bothered by people's sexuality

      Nope, not bothered by other people's sexual behaviour. I am irritated by other people ordering me around in terms of what I should approve of, how I raise my children and redefining words to give them new meanings as a form of social engineering, but I'm not really bothered by what they do at home.

      3) Absolutely no idiotic dogma about 'the role of women in society'

      You mean as the hub of industry and commerce, social work? Worth more than rubies, should be listened to by everyone, worthy of honour? (Proverbs 31:10-31) Perhaps you mean the fact that husbands are to love them to the point of sacrificing themselves for their wives good? (Ephesians 5:25)

      4) The religious claims about reality are at least rooted in fact some of the time. The Jesus phone really does exist, for example, which is more than can be said of the usual subject of worship in religious cults.

      You think Jesus never existed? You might want to go and have a chat to Dawkins about that.

      5) We are still allowed to have a bit of a giggle about the adherents of this religion without them going all po-faced and strutting around demanding respect.

      Giggle, giggle if you want to. ;) I have yet to find another philosophical system which can provide a coherent, logical justification for being nice. If you think humans are naturally good, look at Syria and Kenya today; Cambodia, Russia and America in the past; China the UK and pretty much every country. Christianity says that people are made "in the image of God," which implies a great deal of respect. It is the non-christians who suggest that people are just animals.

      6) Nobody in this religion yet seems the desire to relieve other people of their freedom or life in pursuit of their religious views.

      (Wind history forward a hundred years, and perhaps the religion will have developed to be as tedious as many others, perhaps.

      If you read the bible, you'd find it says to tell people why and how God is good and if they won't listen, shake the dust off your feet and move on. Anything else isn't christian. I do notice that a couple running a B&B received death-threats from (presumably) non-christians because they wouldn't specifically support behaviour they disapproved of. Intolerance does indeed appear to be on the rise. You can do as you wish, but don't ask me to support you.

      No really, I don't welcome new religions. They tend to be rubbish and far more degrading than the old one.

      /grumpy-rant

      (I know, it was probably supposed to be a funny, trolling post, but ignorant piety deserves some response, or else it is just an advert for ignorance.)

  20. Duffaboy

    I will be proved right again.

    I called it right on the XBOX one. and I will go on record here the 5C will receive a price reduction very soon

  21. Dick Pountain

    Relevant?

    http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/sep/20/masturbating-public-laughing-matter-sweden?CMP=twt_gu

  22. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

    "Most of those in the queue didn't bother: they knew what they wanted. A new iPhone. Nothing else mattered."

    ...Or maybe, a brain cell between them?

  23. dssf

    Report of a Disingenuous, INGENIOUS Experience

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/09/20/homeless-recruited-to-buy-iphones/2844979/

    "A businessman scheming to get his profit-minded hands on dozens of new iPhones allegedly recruited about 100 homeless people from Skid Row in Los Angeles to wait in line overnight at the Pasadena Apple Store, but many were left unpaid and stranded after his plan was exposed, local media reported Friday.

    The unidentified reseller had offered $40 to each hired hand who bought an iPhone for him, which he bragged about to others in the line of about 200 people, the San Gabriel Valley Tribune reported. When they learned of the scheme, store personnel stopped selling the latest iPhone models to the homeless stand-ins."

    More at the URL

  24. leeCh
    WTF?

    All of this reminds me of "Black Books" and the Goliath Books" episode

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Ur82EzkC11o#t=414

    "Huddle Time"

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