back to article WIN a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms module

As followers of our epic Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) project will know, we recently laid our grubby mitts on a RockBLOCK Iridium satellite comms unit, courtesy of Rock Seven, and we're now giving one linguistically deft reader the chance to do the same. Top and bottom views of the RockBLOCK In fact, this is …

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DEATH

Device to

Eradicate

All

Threats to

Humans

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From the photo showing the battery pack...

There appears to be a battery missing, so as well as the comical box we may also have a comical scrabble to sort the loose wire (or in this case the missing battery).

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Re: From the photo showing the battery pack...

Er, yes, that's how I switch it off you see :-)

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How about....

Physically

Under

Slung

Severance

Yoke

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DISASTER

Device to

Insure

Safe

And

Sound

Termination of

Effort at

Rocketry

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VAGINA

Vehicle

Abort

Gear

If

Need

Arises

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LOVELACE

(L)OHAN

(O)rbiter

(V)ertical

(E)mergency

(L)ongrange

(A)ltitude

(C)orrection

(E)quipment

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KABOOM

Kill Airborne Balloon Over Operational Mishap

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Counterintuitive for an orb-freeing mechanism but

Balloon

Release

Apparatus

Is succinct.

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LUNATIC

LOHAN

Undesired

Near

Approach

Transmitter

Initiated

Cut-Down

'LUNATIC prevents disaster after SPEARS failure'

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Anonymous Coward

Re: LUNATIC

Or, indeed, "That SPEARS LUNATIC is causing trouble in Spain"

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MINGE

Miniature In-flight Navigator Gadget Eliminator

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Go

LOHAN - shoplift

Sudden High Orbit PuLse Initiated Free Tether

If it does not get used -> LOHAN avoids SHOPlIFT-ing ;-)

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SELINA GOMEZ

Satelite

Enabled

Liberation

Instrument

Nominally

Avoids

Going

Over

Meatsacks'

Existance

Zone

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Another couple - It's been a slow day!

WASTED

Wirelessly Activated System Terminates El' (Reg) Development

(e.g. LOHAN gets WASTED)

COURT

Critical Orbiter Unsafe Release Terminal

(e.g. LOHAN in COURT drama)

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SPHINCTER

Spanish

Pilot

Hazard

Is

Now

Cut

To

Earth

Return

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WHITECAT

Water

Hating

Iridium

TEther

Cutting

Abort

Transmitter

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LADSMAG

Last And Definitively Switched Mission Abort Gadget

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I didn't see a rule restricting multiple entries so here goes:

CRUFTS - Craft Returns Uncontrolled From The Sky

GIVE-UP - Gravity Initiates Vehicular Equipment's Unconditional Precipitation

UPLIFTED - Unconditional Panic Letting It Fall To Earth Deliberately

And my personal favorite

SCUPPER - Secure Call Upon Problem Performing Earth Return

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Not sure about the final N, but...

KARDASHIAN - Key Activated Remote Detach Apparatus Safely Halting Increased Altitude Now

(or maybe Key Activated Remote Detach Agent Sending Height Interupt Abort Notice.)

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DRUGS

Destructive

Release

Under

Guidance

Safely

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FUBAR

Float

Undo

Balloon

Auto

Release

BUGRIT

Balloon

Unlatch

Gizmo

Releases

In

Time

TUFT

That's

Utterly

Fucked

Then

BOC

Beer

O'

Clock

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Big Brother

Of course, having already been to REHAB, noone wants to see LOHAN subsequently head off to JAIL:

Just-in-time Abort Instruction Lever

(or perhaps Judicial, as it's been imposed by the Authorities)

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Silver badge

There's more:- Paris

Prompt

Abort

Rockblock

Iridium

Switching

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Silver badge

Named as it does

Detachable

Radio

Operated

Personnel

Safety

Yanker

or:

Special

Purpose

Long-range

Altitude

Termination

P.S. <gift horse>Does the winner have to pay the £8+VAT/month line rental, or is this thrown in for free?</gift horse>

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SOD OFF

Spanish

Overpass

Dump

Offending

Freight

Fast

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Anonymous Coward

SHOPLIFTER

Satellite Human-Operated PayLoad Imminent Failure Tether Emergency Release

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Boffin

MILEY TWERK

Manual

Intervention

Low

Earth

Yielding

Technical

Weaponised

Explosive

Recovery

Kit

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HERPES

High-altitude

Emergency

Remote

Protective

Equipment

System

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SAD FACE

System

Accidental

Drift

FAilsafe

Carriage (or Cargo)

Eject

It also gives you the opportunity for Totally tasteful artwork on the Abort Box.

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BUST

Bust

Up

Sachet

Terminius

BURST

Burst

Uprising

Random

Sailing

Terminus

BAIL

Bail

Altitude

Initiation

Lever

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KT PRICE

Kill The Payload Reliably In Case of Emergency

or, if we're being strict ...

Kill The Payload Reliably In Certain Emergencies

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Controller-

Optimised

Neutralisation

Device

Operated

Manually

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Since he's associated with catastrophe and sudden downturns:

E-mergency

L-aunch

O-f

P-arachute

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Happy

FELLATIO

Fully

Electronic

Lohan

Logistical

Altitude

Termination

Insurance

Object

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Happy

INCEST

Impending

Non

Compliance

Electronic

Stratodangle

Terminator

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BRAB -

Big Red Abort Button.

Bonus points for containing the word bra as well hopefully;

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Since it will result in the high-speed release of a smallish communications unit

NAOMI

Navigation

Abort

Operation

Manual

Initiation

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Silver badge

Something more fitting.

RockBlock

Emergency

High

Altitude

Abort

Button

Pronounced Rehab something that Lohan is very familiar with... ;-)

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TOSSPOT

Terminated

Orbit

Safety

System

Primed

On

Takeoff

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MILEY

Mission

Inhbiiter

Lohan

EmergencY

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A few ideas...

Button

Allows

Lohan

Loss

Cause

Orbital

Clean

Kill

Manually

Undergo

Free

Fall

Destroy

Iridium

Verson 2

Extremely

Rapidly

Jetison

Iridium

Safety

Module

Ejector

Jetisons

Every

Conceivable

Trace

Of

Rocket

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OS HIT

Open source high impact terminator

The fact it's probably not actually open source is a minor detail that should troll the stallmanites every time it's mentioned.

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Acronyms suitable for such a Bond Villain-grade piece of equipment

MR BOND

Metropolian Realestate Beckons; Orb Needs [to] Detach

or

GOLDFINGER

Global Orbital Lohan Detonator, Flinging It Near Ground Evacuated Readily

or

GOLDENEYE

Gaseous Orb [of] Lohan detaching; Evacuate Nearby- Elderly, Young? Either.

or

SPECTRE

SPears Emulated CHAV; Try to Recover in Espagne

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RECTAL

RockBlock

Emergency

Command

Terminating

Afunctional

Lohan

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T&A

Terminate

&

Abort

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NOT THERE

National Obligatory Tackle, Tether Hacking Emergency Release Equipment

or perhaps THUD

Terminate Harness Under Duress

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