back to article Microsoft Surface Touch keyboards self-destruct – and more

It appears that your brand-spanking-new Microsoft Surface may need more than the security patch The Reg told you about – you may also need a physical patch for its Touch Cover keyboard. According to multiple posts on Microsoft's Surface Forum, the edge of Surface Touch keyboards can split open at the seam where the keyboard- …

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              1. h4rm0ny

                Re: It just keeps getting better,

                "Oh, yes, we are supposed to be discussing hardware. I want a netbook with a 9 inch monochrome electric paper display, proper keyboard and a battery life measured in weeks. Sort of like a Kindle mated to an AlphaSmart. Anyone rate my chances?"

                Unlikely because of the combination of keyboard and electronic paper. The refresh rate on the latter makes it unsuitable for use with fast input methords such as full keyboard. One of the early Kindle's had keyboard with e-paper, but it had limited usefulness even then. Maybe if there are faster versions of e-paper out there that I haven't seen yet, but I'm afraid you're probably out of luck with the complete list of requirements. If fuel-cells regain popularity as an area of research, you might see much longer battery lifes, though I think they've been shelved for the time being.

        1. h4rm0ny

          Re: It just keeps getting better,

          "Lets see, I'm a disabled, lesbian, atheist living in America and you ask me why the Tea Party's sorrow and Mitt Romey's failure fills me with soft joy? Really?"

          Not really, no. I was asking why you expressed pleasure at seeing people suffer from defective products. "Schadenfreude" was the word you used. I.e. pleasure in other's misfortunes. You threw in the jab at Republicans yourself and I'm neither interested in that aspect nor sure how you expect me to know that you are disabled, lesbian or atheist.

          "As for Microsoft, I spent 20 years fixing their junk. I earned my right to enjoy their sorrow, they certainly profited from mine"

          Presumably what you actually earned was money and if you spent twenty years doing it, I can only assume you must have got some satisfaction from it (if only the joy of complaining) else you would have done something else - twenty years is plenty of time for you to have re-skilled and, for example, come over and joined us on the UNIX side of the fence.

          That aside, your bitterness is not a good reason for present enjoyment at some other people's problems. It doesn't exactly lead to a better world. Presumably you think that MS replacing a few keyboard covers is a step toward their destruction. They had to do a lot more replacements of Xboxes some time ago, and the Xbox is very popular today, is it not?

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It just keeps getting better,

          You should move to the UK, pretty sure you could get a few grants from your local Arts group if you fancy writing poetry.

      1. hplasm
        Happy

        Re: Why do you enjoy seeing other people have problems?

        He's a designer at MS?

  1. R Cox

    failure rate 360

    My concern would be even as late at 2009, there are stil many reports of xBox 360 failing at a high rate. While a video game console can fail with little short of long term effect, just send it in for warranty repair, a failure of a tablet can be a significant issue, especially if it is not a toy. So there is no reason to expect the surface is going to be any different. There is no evidence that MS can make a reliable piece of hardware.

    1. Franklin
      Happy

      Re: failure rate 360

      I dunno, I had a Microsoft Intellimouse for quite a long time. Silly name, but great mouse; I used it on my Mac for quite a number of years. It was absolutely indestructible; I only stopped using it because it ended up disappearing on me last time I moved.

      So that's one reliable piece of hardware, at least.

      1. Don Jefe
        Happy

        Re: failure rate 360

        I've been using Intellimice for a very long time (nearly a decade) and they truly are indestructible. So were the old MS Office keyboards. They can certainly pull off some reliable hardware if they want to.

        Funny you said the thing about moving because my MS Office keyboard and my first optical mouse got lost in a move.

        1. 0_Flybert_0

          Re: failure rate 360

          Sidewinder .. Precision Pro 2 joysticks .. even Force Feedback .. best twisty sticks of their time ..

          MS had, IIRC about 25 controllers / joysticks that disappeared with lack of WinXP drivers and the introduction of the Xbox

          1. Not That Andrew

            Re: Good hardware MS killed off

            I've still got a Sidewinder Precision Pro 2 joystick that works just as well now as it did when I bought it, despite there being no official drivers (about 12 years ago). Never had static problems with it, either (which is apparently an issue with USB Sidewinders).

            I never understood why MS killed off the Sidewinder line. IMHO that ranks up there with canceling MS Flight Sim firing the dev team, then trying to resurrect it as some weird free to play MMO type thing.

        2. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge
          Unhappy

          Re: failure rate 360

          Microsoft AFAIK does not make the Surface like it didn't make the intellimouse. I think you may find that little rodent was made by Logitech.

          The Surface is probably made, sorry assembled by the likes of Foxcon allbeit to Microsoft's design.

          If the logo is coming off after only a few days and the keyboard is falling apart then these should be replaced under warranty. If MS play hardball then sue them just like you would if this bit of kit had a Google or Apple logo on the device.

          MS do not really have much track record in industrial design unlike many other companies. Couple this with their totalt disrespect for conventional UI design then you have a recepie for a big and expensive failure.

          Perhaps Surface V2 will be better but I'd expect that to be at least a year away unless these issues are just the tip of the iceberg.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: failure rate 360

            I think you may find that little rodent was made by Logitech.

            That may explain why the Anywhere MX I have seems to show the same signs of robustness. I have 3 of the damn things (1 on a Linux box, one on an iMac and one on my Macbook) as it's the one mouse which (a) works everywhere and is (b) EXACTLY the right size for my hand (doesn't force my hand upwards into RSI territory).

            They are, quite simply, *brilliant*. Even on the glass desk I have.

            Yes, I have tried the Apple mice. They can keep them.

      2. This post has been deleted by its author

      3. P. Lee

        Re: failure rate 360

        I've still got one and was using it on my in-law's mac today.

        However, have you seen their latest excuse for a mouse?

        Absolutely horrible junk.

    2. csumpi
      Pint

      Re: failure rate 360

      If they handle the Surface issues the same way they did the xbox360, there will be no issues.

      My xbox360 had the power supply red ring death, MS fixed it promptly.

  2. Andy Roid McUser
    Coffee/keyboard

    "I had the same issue with the Surface touch cover I bought for my wife and exchanged the cover for a replacement at my Microsoft store"

    Microsoft have stores ?? when did this happen and where are these fantastical magical bazaars to be found..

    1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      In the US

      In the US Microsoft do have stores, usually in the shopping malls. Generally right across the street from the Apple store.

      1. RICHTO
        Mushroom

        Re: In the US

        Microsoft UK Store is a website. And it seems to be completely non compliant with the DSR requirements. So I guess under UK law you get 6 months and a day to return anything you dont like under the DSR rather than the standard 7 days....As they seem to be based out of Ireland make sure you use a credit card if you shop there and want to be able to require them to comply with UK laws....

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    How Portentous

    "Microsoft logo on the Surface's cover is quickly wearing off"

    As I suspect will a lot of peoples patience.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Kind of funny that the 'Multiple Posts' are all regarding two people's complaints

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Meh

    All part of the plan

    Maybe the keyboard is breaking a little too quickly, but the logo wearing out makes me wonder if there is a plan to this.

    Bearing in mind reports that the iPhone 5 scratches easily, I wonder if the aim on the part of both MS and Apple is to show wear as quickly as possible, so that the fans of shininess are forced to upgrade to the next version as soon as it is available - or else appear to be too poor to afford to look cool.

  6. JaitcH
    Thumb Down

    Watch out! The Ghost of Jobs will be after you for patent infrigement - How to hold Portable Device

    Obviously, as with Job's blaming iThingy users for holding the defective model incorrectly, MS has to issue a similar admonishment.

    At such time, Apple will jump up and say: We invented Wrong Way Holding!

    Buy an Android, they have no restrictions.

    1. Badwolf

      Buy an Android, they have no restrictions...?

      or any real security, or an easy way to update the OS or any decent tablet apps or as a developer a way to protect your assets

      Sounds great

      1. RICHTO
        Mushroom

        And they need twice the CPU power to perform like the eqivalent Windows device....

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Buy an Android, they have no restrictions.

      No security either. I cannot afford a device that ships all my client data to the US (having said that, if you make the mistake of enabling iCloud Apple devices do the same with your contacts).

      1. vic 4
        Thumb Down

        "I cannot afford a device that ships all my client data"

        And what security hole do you think is going to do that? Only thing I can think of is that you install some software you don't trust and click ok when told it requires access to your contacts.

        1. vic 4

          Re: "I cannot afford a device that ships all my client data"

          Oops, not finished typing.

          Or you enable a sync between your address book to a service like Google's.

  7. Badwolf

    mmmmmmm - The iPad 4 in my hands feels even better now

  8. Stoneshop
    Coat

    Another: "I had the same issue with the Surface touch cover I bought for my wife"

    I find that any kind of cover greatly reduces the touch sensitivity, but hey, whatever floats your boat.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Headmaster

    The boot's on the other foot today!

    I've often been scathing, but never realised I could scathe. Thanks!

    Oh... and will Service Pack One consist of some duct tape and a small pair of scissors?

    1. 404

      Re: The boot's on the other foot today!

      A little superglue and ones of those iPwn bumpers works quite nicely...

      ;)

  10. Jonathan White
    Thumb Up

    Add me to the appreciation list. I've got a bluetooth intellimouse explorer you will have to pry from my cold, dead hand if you want it. Always liked their ergonomic keyboards too, although I fall in and out of love with ergonomic keyboards as a principle.

  11. Chris 171

    Easy Solution

    Let Nokia design/make a Surface device.

    Amazed their not using Nokia's hardware / materials experience more.

    1. kissingthecarpet
      Headmaster

      Re: Easy Solution

      Sorry, I can see you tried, but it should have been "they're" as in "they are". If you're not more careful with your spelling the Grammar Nazis will ship you off to a camp where you can concentrate on it.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Your Computer Has Performed An Illegal Operation

    And will now fall apart

  13. Chad H.

    But....

    I saw a video where they were "tested to destruction"....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But....

      "I saw a video where they were "tested to destruction"...."

      Short video was it ?

    2. hplasm
      Happy

      Re: But....

      The Surface clicky-clicky one with the Glee types?

  14. Mat

    Logitech v450 Nano

    Someone is gonna have to prise this hardware out of my cold dead hand (right or left - doesn't matter)!

    I have flung this across the room in a hissy fit before and the cover came off and the batteries flew out! Once I'd located the batteries, popped them back in and put the unbroken cover back on. It was working perfectly!

    This must rival the Nokia 3310 as the hardest substance known to geek!

  15. Henry Wertz 1 Gold badge

    Well then...

    Can't say I'm surprised. This isn't a Microsoft-bash, but if you've seen the ads, the keyboard looks like a floppy piece of rubber with solid bits shoved into it. I mean, I thought it'd last more than a week but it really doesn't look durable.

    On an unrelated matter, the ads look dumb (the one people are just repeatedly trading keyboards and slapping them onto each others tablets). The other ones show people a) web surfing b) watching movies/tv and c) using an (actually somewhat fun looking) paint program. That's cool but I'm not going to buy a new windows machine just to web surf and watch movies, thanks.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Madlibs anyone?

      Need a [noun] and a [noun], now fill in the blanks:

      people are just repeatedly trading […] and slapping them onto each others […]

      Seems like you might catch a cold/other from too much of that ;)

  16. fzz

    I do hope

    MSFT remembered to include disclaimers of warranties of mechantability or fitness.

    Oh, wait. Can't do that with hardware. Guess they get to learn about warranty costs.

  17. The Cube
    Go

    Microsoft logo wearing off

    Sorry, I am having a problem understanding how that is a bad thing. Microsoft should be congratulated on ensuring minimal embarrassment for people with surface tablets but couldn't they have just made it a sticker so you could rip it off quickly instead of having to spend hours scratching it off?

  18. Dan 55 Silver badge
    Headmaster

    Are we really getting better at hardware?

    Not even Sinclair managed this.

    Keyboards, mice, and laptops back in the day worked properly, now they break if you so much as hold or close them wrong. As customers/consumers (and therein lies the problem, it seems we're consumers more than customers) we can choose between between shiny, expensive, and practically unfixable and unexpandable or plastic and mediocre. If they don't fall apart within the first few weeks of life they fall apart after two years and one day of use.

    Bah, humbug.

    1. JC_

      Re: Are we really getting better at hardware?

      ...and back then it was always sunny, right? I remember when a 386 PC (not the real thing, but a cheapo local clone) cost a months salary, and it broke down more than anything that's on sale now.

      Just about all tech gear is much better and much cheaper - no need for nostalgia unless you're fond of calculators (XKCD).

  19. Anonymous C0ward
    Flame

    Will it

    blend?

    1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

      Re: Will it

      Evidently even in a children's toy blender*.

      * If such a thing exists?

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've got a Surface and like it a lot. Interesting how much noise is generated by people wanting to put down Microsoft. Clearly MS has some ground to make up, may never happen I suppose, but at the same time for me, I really like the Surface form factor, the keyboard - which works remarkably well - isn't separating, the label isn't wearing off etc... Naysayers won't prevent me from using and enjoying it. Also, most everybody that I show it to immediately "gets" it.

  21. Gordon Pryra
    Stop

    Im an Android user

    I would not dream of buying this POS

    BUT

    To be honest, Microsoft's hardware has allways been of a very high build quality. From the first Natural Keyboard costing 100 quid I saved up for 20 odd years ago to anything physical with the Microsoft name printed on it. Their kit is allways solid and it feels like something you could use as a weapon in a pub fight.

    I think they are allowed a fuck up occasionally, its made the headlines because it is so unlike Microsoft to do this. Unlike Apple's products where people actively speculate on the massive issues the next version of the Itat will have months before it is released.

    Give M$ a break here!

  22. Equitas

    Ironic, isn't it? The one thing that hitherto Microsoft has done well -- hardware -- should be the big let-down now. Typing this on an old and battered Microsoft keyboard and beside it is a Microsoft mouse. No, neither of them is perfect -- the glides have long-since gone from the mouse and label is simply worn off the underside, while the keyboard has not only lost the lettering off some keys, but the plastic of the key-tops is deeply scored and eroded from use. Now, if their software were remotely-comparable in terms of quality and fitness for purpose, I'd be delighted. It seems, however, that their hardware is descending to the quality of their software, rather than vice versa.

  23. Gordon Pryra

    Someone mentioned the pain of Microsoft Software

    In my case at least (and I am sure in the case of a lot of people who complain about them), if Microsoft had ever delivered a complete IOS that worked, I would have had to find a real job and maybe work hard for a living?

    Rather than pain, We should be thanking them for giving us a job :)

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