back to article Ten reasons why you shouldn't buy an iPhone 5

Here we are again on iPhone day, and once more the world waits on the edge of its seat to see what the fruitchomp masterminds of Cupertino have in store. We'll tell you what they've got in store - and none of it's good. Without further ado, here are ten points you should ponder before you even think of buying a new iPhone 5. …

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      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        I think his comment is just to confirm that he is a looser of the first order!

        1. Andrew Moore
          Coat

          'a looser of the first order'???

          then sure the correct antidote would be to set him up with a tightener of the first order.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What he's saying

      is that anyone who is interested in value for money, usability and not conforming to one company's idea of how they should use their phone would, if making a rational decision, avoid the iPhone.

      People prefer Pepsi to Coke when they can't see the packaging and Coke to Pepsi when they can see the packaging. For similar reasons, this 'debate' is going nowhere!

      1. Frank Bough
        FAIL

        yeah but...

        ...he's not thinking that, you are.

        iPhones are simply excellent - by far the best machine on the market today. Whatever improvements are wrought today, it'll only get better.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "iPhones are simply excellent - by far the best machine on the market today."

          Been on the coke again Frank?

        2. Lars Silver badge
          Pint

          Nice sentence

          "Whatever improvements are wrought today, it'll only get better."

          Applies to anything, from hamster breeding to space ships.

        3. paulll Bronze badge
          Happy

          I think you'll find ...

          That the best machine on the market today is the Boeing AH-64D Apache 'Longbow'.

          I know which I would choose anyway.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        People?

        Actually, it is not generally true that people preferred Pepsi to Coke.

        Based on a blind test which was very poorly managed, on average people chose Pepsi - which is not the same thing and is indicative of the question we were posed, not our preference.

        I "took the challenge" and chose Coke. Pepsi tastes like soap - amazingly so did "New Coke" which was a fabulous market success - not?

        I can think of 10 rational reasons to buy the iPhone.

        Apple haters demonstrate what they are so often that it is boring to come to these forums. The fact of the matter is that you haters all hate success and want your shitty copy of iPhones to be better and keep finding useless reasons to demonstrate it.

        It's a phone FFS, and 90% of phone users don't give a toss about the OS and think that an Android is that green guy in Star Trek

        Dweeb

      3. JEDIDIAH
        Linux

        Coke vs Pepsi

        Screw that false dichotomy.

        Give me Grape Nehi, Root Beer, and Jamaican Ginger Beer.

        Time to take the blinders off.

    2. Ted Treen
      Thumb Up

      Well said, Jez!

      I'm no great Android fan - I LIKE iOS: but that doesn't mean I consider anyone who prefers Android is less intelligent, or that their viewpoint is less valuable than mine.

      I echo "Each to their own." - or, as they say in France, "One man's fish is another man's poisson."

    3. sisk Silver badge

      I echo your each to their own sentiment on an intellectual level.

      On on emotional level though, given Apple's bad behaviour the last couple years (suing people for using the term 'pod', dumping apps out of the app store for no apparent reason, being a general dick of a company) I would desperately love to see them crash and burn. I suspect a lot of people share my feelings on that. As to the rest....

      "How many people mod their TV?"

      Um...actually....Let's just say that the big projector at the back of the room was a TV in a previous life. Maybe that's has something to do with why I prefer Android.

    4. Lars Silver badge
      Alien

      Battery an issue?

      It is when you have to replace an old and dead one. I have done it on several phones, but perhaps it is because I have used them for a long time. Perhaps iPhone users are supposed to switch to the next model long before the battery is done and dead.

    5. sisk Silver badge

      I would add 3 and 8 to your list, although I'm sure that the iPhone 5 has a better antenna than the iPhone 4 did when it came out, so maybe just 3. That walled garden model is bad for everyone except Apple. It's bad for developers, it's really bad for consumers, and Apple happily rakes in the tons of cash from it.

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      mod their tv?

      what, like games consoles, blu ray players, dvd players, VCRs, satellite decoders, tivo style devices etc etc?

    7. Anon the mouse

      Hack the TV

      Yup, been there done that. Last TV had a USB port I wanted to use so after a minor hack on the original firmware it was enabled for general use.... as a bonus it turned out Video/music/picture support was unlocked when I did it too.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      re: the problem is fragmentation

      Not really.

      You can't compare a single manufacturer's product (the specs of which differ only with regard to memory size) with a lots of manufacturer's products.

      Find a droid phone that works and stick with it. I suggest not going with a manfacturer known for doing proprietary gunk like sony, when picking an (more) open platform - the cultures don't sit well together.

      And skype on a phone? Again, perhaps google's offerings might be a better bet. I can't seek skype lasting too long on android anyway, given the MS acquisition.

    9. heyrick Silver badge
      Happy

      Hack the telly?

      This is El Reg. How many haven't? (or haven't yet got around to it?)

    10. Originone

      "If I tried to count the number of times I've run out of iPhone battery on my fingers, well, I'd fail to do so, as the current count is zero"

      Count one on you fingers...okay got that? All right then, now retract that one finger you currently have extended so that you have no fingers extended. There you go, you just counted zero on your fingers. Not as difficult as you seem to think hey?

      1. Benchops

        index

        bloody C programmers

    11. DrXym Silver badge

      Battery IS an issue

      Every time Apple seals in the battery some apologist pops out of the woodwork to pretend it doesn't matter, or that Apple couldn't possibly have made the battery replaceable because the device is too thin.

      And then along comes a competing device which does exactly that. e.g. Samsung's Galaxy SII is one of the thinnest phones around yet manages a replaceable battery. How does it manage this mind crushing feat? Popclips. The back can be removed and clipped securely into place.

      How is it the alleged masters of industrial design can do likewise? The simple answer is they don't want to. A replaceable battery extends the life of a phone and we can't have that now can we? So Apple seals it in, and imposes a high price and ludicrous terms on their battery replacement service to ensure a healthy turnover of people junking an otherwise functional device for the latest model.

    12. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      No wonder you're an iPhone developer, you can't see what's in front of your face!

      >"Who wrote this article?"

      The bloke whose byline is at the top of it, dummy. Presumably your reading skills are the reason why you thought the iOS developer T&C's were acceptable.

    13. The First Dave Silver badge
      Pirate

      @Jez

      Thing about the walled garden argument is that Android is also a walled garden, but since it is made of chicken wire, Google can claim that it isn't, but the bad guys can still see through it, but you can't escape when you are inside.

  1. Rob K

    Excellent trolling

    See title!

    The funny thing is, I moved over to Android a few months ago for all these reasons, and yet I still feel like I have an iPhone shaped hole in my life.

  2. Ian 62
    Meh

    Full disclosure, I do NOT own an iPhone and can't afford one.

    1) Fair point.. I don't NEED to change a battery but for some people it might be a nice thing to do.

    2) It's in the cloud. Business models change. Not saying I trust my data in the cloud, but thats what theyre aiming for.

    3) Walled garden as its pros and cons. Service, quality, security, reliability. But price, flexibility, ownership. Your mileage may vary, it depends what you intend to do with your phone. Me.. I dont want to think about finding the correct version of the correct app for the correct version of the correct OS for my version of my year of my phone. So if it tells me what version to install, and someone has vetted it first. I'm happy

    4) We're not speculating on the performance of the previous model, you're listing reasons not to buy the model you havent tested yet. Its like saying dont buy this years titanic, the last one sank.

    5) Everyone else has gone one? Everyone I know has a VW Golf, doesnt mean I shouldnt buy one if its good for my needs.

    6) A celebrity endorsing a product puts you off? Hope you dont watch many TV adverts then, you wont have many products at all ever anywhere in the world to choose from.

    7) A Ferrari has four wheels and an engine, very expensive for what it is.

    8) The antenna was badly designed on the last one. Doesnt mean they wont fix it on this one.

    9) Screen size, if I had a bucket of water I could figure out the volume of each device. I wonder if you make it thinner you have to make it fatter somewhere else? All that stuff has to go somewhere maybe in the last version Apple chose the screen bevel?

    10) Wait.. Always Always Always wait. For the new car, for the new computer, for the new tv. Any gadget is overpriced and obsolete the day its made.

    I'll give you 5/10. 5 'reasons not to buy', and 5 trolls.

  3. Bonce
    Mushroom

    Light blue touch-paper

    ...stand well back!

  4. Mondo the Magnificent
    Happy

    10 reasons?

    Now you've just given those in doubt 10 reasons why they should:

    1 - Because they want one

    2 - ElReg said they shouldn't, so they more than likely will

    3 - It's oh, so fashionable

    4 - It is in essence nothing more than the 5th generation Apple branded phone

    5 - Graham Norton doesn't own one

    6 - It's actually not that bad function wise as far as phones go

    7 - People can get it cheaper with a contract renewal or a new contract

    8 - The battery life on previous generations hasn't been exactly that bad either

    9 - By default first time Apple iPhone owners become an App Store customer and iTunes user

    10- A white version will be released in 6 months so they have a reason to "upgrade"

    Pro's and con's aside, people will flock to the O2, 3, Vodafone and Phones4U stores to get their hands on this desirable little gadget. The "Antennagate" fiasco will not reflect on the new product as Apple (like most tech manufacturers) learn from their errors

    I still think there's way too much hype around all things Apple, seriously 7 or 8 years back, most iPod owners didn't even know that Apple made "computers".. now it's a household name thanks to the media hype and this article is a sterling example of that "hype" :¬)

  5. BelieveItOrNot
    Gimp

    sorry

    too busy masturbating outside the apple store to read this.

  6. bolccg
    Meh

    Bold move Lewis

    Wowser, the flames here should adequately replace nuclear power as an energy source for Japan.

    Engage.

  7. This post has been deleted by its author

  8. Thomas 4
    Flame

    Ahhh, just what I needed.

    A nice big bag of popcorn and an article like this.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    nuff said

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I have to say I agree with pretty much all the of the above points. After all you would buy a TV were only Sony could tell you which programmes you can watch, at what volume and for how long.

    I will say, in all fairness. The original iphone in my opinion did break new ground and brought a lot to the mobile phone table. However since then the competitors have matched, surpassed and even embarrassed Apple with their answer.

    SGSII FTW

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Yawn

    Interesting points you make there. Strangely, I've not had a particular issue with them over the last few blissful years if iPhone ownership and I suspect that when the iPhone 4S/5 appears they will continue to be irrelevant for me. I did briefly have a google phone but to be honest it was crap. Duff software, no upgrades or patches. And the battery thing....FFS have you seen how much they cost (and I mean for a genuine one that actually works). And to actually have to lug it about. No I'm fine thanks with fruity lockdown. Oh and the walled garden thing. Well it's a valid point and feel free to go your own way, but from what I can tell, Apple does a fine job of making developers money and handling all the tricky stuff like payment and currency conversion. So you know, it has it's upsides as well. Choose your poison and the like. Well must dash. Got to work myself up into a fanbio frenzy as the big announcement(s) get closer. Flame away

  12. Big_Boomer Bronze badge
    Megaphone

    Lewis, I love you!

    Finally someone else speaks out against the iPoop.

    Overpriced, underspecified, designer rubbish for the terminally gullible.

    You will overpay for the phone, overpay for your airtime contract, and overpay for any apps.

    When it was new it was a revelation w.r.t. having a moderately well designed user interface.

    But now,...it's outclassed by almost everyone.

  13. Chazmon
    Flame

    Is Lewis going for FOTW?

    Let me get my toasting fork and marshmellows this one should be fun

  14. Turtle_Fan
    Flame

    Let the flame wars begin....

    This would be better published on a Friday for added effect.

    I was tempted to say "don't feed the troll" but it will undoubtedly go unheeded so flame away.

    I for one, am squarely on the off-apple camp for very hardware-centric reasons. Those gadgets are just not spec'd right.... They're always behind the cutting edge regardless of all the "shiny" they claim to embody.

    1. James Hughes 1

      Remember that Apple have a patent on that hole, so keep your lawyer handy.

      1. Rob K
        Happy

        "iHole"

        A patented system by which users become inexplicably attached to their crippled, overpriced, garden-walled devices.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Crippled?

          Why don' you just say you don't like it?

          If it is 'crippled', how come so many million people use them every day and don't feel the need for a crutch?

          1. Rob K

            Erm, because I was paraphrasing the article? If you read my original post, you'll see that I was saying I do like them..

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      F*ck off, Sandra

      < PhoneShop reference>

    3. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
      Trollface

      This gives a new meaning to "too long; didn't read"

    4. Ted Treen
      Mushroom

      @Big_Boomer

      "...see above invective..." said Big_Boomer, whose achievements and incisive perception in the world of IT have made him as wealthy and respected as Steve Jobs, as well-known as Bill Gates, and as acclaimed as Jonny Ives.

      In the immortal words of Mr. Bugs Bunny, "What a maroon!"

    5. Ivan Headache

      Where do you get this 'overpay for your airtime contract'?

      I'm paying half what I paid when I had my Nokia.

      (And I think that 99p is quite reasonable for an app.)

      (And most of the providers in the UK will GIVE you an iPhone (if you take the appropraite tarif))

    6. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Reformed crack addicts say the same thing.

    7. majorursa

      [quote]9 - By default first time Apple iPhone owners become an App Store customer and iTunes user[/quote]

      That supposed to be an advantage? Yikes. Number 1 reason for me never to get an Apple.

    8. Mike Flugennock

      Ferrari

      "7) A Ferrari has four wheels and an engine, very expensive for what it is."

      Yeah, but the wheels are probably some kind of competition-quality aluminum alloy with bad-assed wide low-profile competition tires. And, oh, what an engine. VvvvvrrrrOOOOOmmmmm. Fuck, yeah, Ferrari.

  15. gb030104

    Don't hold back, Lewis, tell us what you really think

  16. theblackhand

    While I'm sure you will get many upset responses....

    That's a pretty fair list.

    I'm fortunate to have test Android devices and iPhones at work and the Galaxy SII may have it's faults but it is a very nice phone when compared to the lump that is an iPhone. So far, everyone who has "tested" an iPhone and an Andorid phone for a fee weeks has opted for an Android although the userbase tends to be slightly more technical where no SD expansion or additional battery or iTunes is a deal breaker.

    And if you're paying for a contract phone yourself, free on a cheap contract beats paying for a phone and an expensive contract...

  17. Michael Habel Silver badge
    FAIL

    Ponit 1: Non-user replaceable Battery?

    So that'll be down to the statuesque then.

    I flippn hate Crapple as much as the next Android / Samsung loving fanboi that I'am.

    But, really come on this is what you use choose to fire your first volley at?

    If all those Fashiontards haven't managed to figure this much out for themselves yet that Crapple only OFFICIALLY sell disposables.

    Then what hope is there left for this World?

    What what about reason Number 11?

    Crapple HATES Adobe?

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