back to article Microsoft man saves drowning woman

The cries of a drowning woman were missed by headphone-sporting joggers, leaving her to be rescued by a Microsoft worker. Matt Drury, a security guard at Microsoft's Kings Meadow HQ was cycling home along the towpath when heard a woman's gasp followed by a splash. But the Microsoft man was beaten to the dive by a man called …

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  1. Paul_Murphy

    Noise-cancelling earphones.

    Since no one has mentioned these I can thoroughly recommend them as a way to hear music at a comfortable level and still miss little of what's going on outside.

    I currently have some Nokia 905i's and they are good, but would be better if they were over-the-ear rather than sitting on top.

    ttfn

    1. Cameron Colley
      Joke

      If they're noise cancelling how come you don't miss what's going on?

      If you can still hear people shouting, tube announcements and the like then they're not doing a good job of noise cancelling are they?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Boffin

        Noise cancellation

        Technically, speech etc is not noise (though if you've heard a get-together of my wife and her cronies, you'd disagree).

        These noise cancellation 'phones only remove ambient constant frequency stuff...traffic noise, wind, sitting in a train/plane with engine & wind noise etc.

        Works by emitting a negative frequency to the frequency received; it's not clever enough to do anything more than that...yet.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I assume he wasn't MS support

    Lady: "Help! I'm having trouble with this canal!"

    Microsoft support: "OK. Have you tried getting out and then getting back in again?"

    1. Bilgepipe
      Joke

      Clippy

      Hey, it looks like you're drowning. Would you like help with that?

      - Yes, I'd like to call for help

      - No, I'll drown

      - Explore more drowning options online

      If you choose Yes, you'll be prompted to upgrade your life jacket and fall in again.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You love Timmy's mallet

    I'm afraid Timmy Mallett already holds the patent to this, though is willing to exchange a licence for free use of DOS*:

    http://www.brillianttv.co.uk/timmymallett/rescue.html

    * If you don't know what DOS is, either look it up in a museum or use it and wait for Microsoft's lawyers to come and explain it to you...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    @AC - wrong title

    Ah but where would the IT angle be in that?

  5. Andy Jones
    Coat

    Infected

    Did she catch a virus? If yes, then that was from the Microsoft man!

    /mines the one with the AV hanky in the pocket.

    ----------

    On another note, the headline is wrong, or typical Microsoft history rewrite. The Microsoft man helped save her, he didn't do it by himself. As you state a Yell employee jumped in the water first.

    So, following on from the Yell employee jumping in the water first to rescue her, the Microsoft employee embraced the situation and also jumped in to rescue her. What next, how will he extend and extinguish the situation?

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Was that a Blue Scream of Death ?

    "... Matt Drury, a security guard at Microsoft's Kings Meadow HQ was cycling home along the towpath when heard a woman's gasp followed by a splash..."

    Are you sure that he didn't hear a "Blue Scream of Death" (sic) ?

  7. Fugazi
    Thumb Up

    Kudos..

    ..for the Marillion mention! Headphones, a great way to abort pregnant conversations...

  8. Brian 62
    Stop

    No sound

    Drowning people don't make noise, since they generally have their mouths full of water and are using their arms to try to stay afloat instead of splashing.

    Don't let the facts get in the way of a good headline though.

  9. raving angry loony

    wrong title

    So, in fact, it was the guy from Yell who was there first and really did the rescue, but as usual the guy from Microsoft is getting the credit from the press because they got there eventually?

  10. Charles Manning

    I doubt he was a Microsoft Man

    He was a security guard. These functions are normally outsourced to security companies.

  11. Dick Emery
    Megaphone

    TINNITUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I have chronic tinnitus and high frequency hearing loss since 2006 (Accompanied a friend to a nightclub which I did not normally do). Believe me you do NOT want that. I was suicidal for a while. Yes it can affect you that way especially when you are trying to get some sleep.

    PROTECT YOUR HEARING PEOPLE!

    Expect the 'yoof' to totally ignore the warning though.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Thumb Up

      Agree

      Luckily I've had mine since I was 2-3 years old (caused by surgery to - ironically - improve my hearing).

      40 years of adaptation I barely notice it anymore, until you see the massive dip in the hearing test chart (where the test frequency = tinnitus frequency). I can tune into it and listen when I want to, though it's hardly Radio 4 is it?

  12. moonface

    Microsoft Man

    When I first read the title I imagined an unfit, portly and suited John Hodgman diving in and doing the job, while a smart cool looking Justin Long stood around gormless.

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