back to article Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

A controversial monastery in Rome – the scene of performances by lap-dancing nuns and "lifestyles that were probably not in keeping with that of a monk" – has been closed down on the orders of the Pope. The Santa Croce in Gerusalemme basilica, home to nuns and monks of the Cistercian order, is one of the oldest and most …

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  1. Mike Moyle Silver badge
    Coat

    A bit of meta-humor...?

    Am I the only person amused by the fact that the article that talks about lap-dancing nuns has an advertisement at the end that offers "... a free... consultation with an Agile expert"?

    How agile...? Trained by Sister Anna?

    Okay... I'm really leaving, this time...

  2. alwarming
    Paris Hilton

    There is something complex about a Nun Lapdance...

    Where do you stuff the $ bills in the habit ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Happy

      that depends...

      Who needs a habit? By the time the bills emerge, that habit will have been kicked long ago. Where the bills go depends upon your tastes in storage. Depending on the dancer's exact physiognomy, you could tuck them under * 2, tuck them between * 1 ... or roll them up.

      And let me just add that anybody who spends any amount of time envisioning that is an absolute pervert -- I should know!

  3. fLaMePrOoF
    Joke

    Title.........

    You couldn't rite this stuff...

  4. atomic jam
    Paris Hilton

    New Religion

    Sign me up to Catholicism, I'm cumming to Rome!

    Paris, because she knows what I'm talking about.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    Sealed report. Taxi!

    "Investigators from the Vatican's Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life moved in, and delivered their sealed report in March – one so sizzling that it will never be released to the public"

    Now THAT is a matter of opinion too.in a year , two .. a leak .Somehow someone looses a USB key containing that very file on it.I beleive the public should have the right to know what the , pardon the expression, bottom of the story is and if criminal charges should be laid so be it.It dosen't feel like justice is being done keeping this story under the covers. ... Good night. .. Taxi !

  6. Steven Roper
    Thumb Up

    Investigators from the Vatican's Congregation for Institutes of Consecrated Life

    Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  7. FozzyBear Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Title Required

    Nows thats a Sister act I'd like to see.

    After the imagery of a couple of lap dancing nuns runs through your mind you have to ask yourself wonder what those "Holy relics" were

  8. Craig 28

    Re:What those holy relics were

    Depends how old the nuns were...

    That said there's got to be a comedy sketch in there somewhere. Crucifix shaped lap dancing pole anyone?

    Icon purposely set to "none" for the irony.

  9. Michael Dunn
    Coat

    I am amazed

    I presume these monks are not the Cistercians of the Strict Observance!

    I am amazed at the news: in my youth I always admired the Cistercian order, since they appeared to embody the very best of coenobite community life, and were amongst the most austere of the religious orders. An Englishman, Stephen Harding, was one of the three rebels against the decline of monastic discipline they observed among the Benedictines at Clairvaux, and they set out to re-establish the pure rule of St Benedict.

    The British Isles have a number of ruins of former Cistercian Abbeys - Fountains Abbey is one - and many years ago there were at least two in Britain - Mount St Bernard at Charnwood Forest, and Caldey Island off Tenby. Also Mount Melleray in Ireland; don't know if they are still extant.

    Otherwise known as Trappists, they had a very strict life, living in Silence. An American Cistercian, Thyomas Merton, wrote a number of books about life in the Cistercian houses in America.

    The Belgian Trappists, of course, made some of the best beer in the world, so perhaps the mortifying of the flesh had abated somewhat byt 19th - 20th centuries!

    Yeah, it's a white scapular I'm wearing!

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