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back to article This year's comedy Xmas No. 1 contender: Silent song 4'33"

A motley crew of musicians backed by a Facebook campaign are plotting to hijack the poor beleaguered Christmas number one with a four-minute recording of silence. Following last year's triumphant, internet-bolstered, telly-talent-compo-orthodoxy-upending ascendance of the gleefully inappropriate and profanity-sprinkled Killing …

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    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Down

      I think this is a mistake

      I agree - I can't see many people wanting to go out and buy "nothing", even if it is for charity. They would be far better off with a natty tune and a bit of imagination.

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      1. HollyX
        Reply Icon
        Alert

        Go out and buy?

        Go out and buy? We have this thing called the internet now, take a look, it's really quite neat.

        I think this is enough of thumbing one's nose at Simon Cowell that it's worth 70p and one minute of my time :-)

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  2. Anonymous Coward
    Linux

    Radio dead air

    The possibility of it messing up the radio stations as well just makes it even better - so cool I just hope it gets the no.1 spot (it will)

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  3. Mr Larrington
    Coat

    Do what?

    Naff Hollywood remakes and the charts full of cover versions?

    Money back please.

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    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: Do what?

      It is for charity, you know.

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  4. volsano

    Ruined by DJs

    We can trust radio DJs to ruin it by talking over the intro.

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  5. ShaggyDoggy

    4m33s.com

    That's me folks !!

    (registered 10 years ago - my am I so ahead of this !!! LOL) !!11!1Aa!1!11

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  6. Code Monkey

    It was (a tiny bit) funny last year

    X-Factor's soul-destroying asswater but so is buying novelty records because some wonk on Facebook told you to.

    Bollocks to the lot of em, I'll save my record buying money for something I actually like (like the Electric Wizard re-issue next year).

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    1. The BigYin
      Reply Icon

      @Code Monkey

      "Bollocks to the lot of em, I'll save my record buying money for something I actually like"

      Congratulations, you are the first person here to get the point.

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  7. stuhacking
    Troll

    Worthwhile cause...

    ...However, Rage against the machine was better because the song was good and the band got involved and put on a charity gig.

    This lacks the same sense of meaning. I'll probably still join in for the chance to knock Cowell off the #1... not that he cares.

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    1. nation of stupid
      Reply Icon

      Rage...

      Rage Against the Machine is also owned by SonyBMG, I'm sure they loved the fact that people trying to stop their XFactor single reaching number one were paying them for the alternative as well - a win/win for Sony and Cowell, and the anti-capitalist RATM still made a healthy profit from it.

      At least all profits from this one will go to charity, although I prefer Surfin' Bird for number one as it would be funnier for the XFactor song to be beaten by it. Be even better if both outsold the XFactor dross and it only made number 3. Either way, unfortunately the XFactor song will still make it to number one the week after.

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  8. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

    If the video is good

    But, yes, poor Mike Batt. He only did a minute, as well, which is different from John Cage's and we've been using a minute's silence in war memorial services since long before Cage thought of it. On the other hand, Batt referred to Cage by punning on Cage's name in the credit. And insulted him. Well, so do I insult him. 4-33" is far and away the best thing that Cage ever created. He should not have bothered with anything else.

    I would tape it off the radio too but I bet the DJ talks over it.

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    1. Mr Mark V Thomas
      Reply Icon

      If The Video is Good....?

      I wonder if Koka Media ever sued Mr. Batt over his 1 Minute offering, as their musical effects disc KOK2057 titled Pastiche, Carnage, Sabotage 2, released in 1991, has the track "A Minutes Silence", lasting for 1 Minute, listed as track 18 on said disc...

      (Needless to say, I acquired a second hand copy of said disc a couple of years ago).

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    2. Kamal Hashmi
      Reply Icon

      How many other works by John Cage have you heard?

      At the RNCM on Monday, one of the encores was a nocturne by John Cage - it was excellent!

      (Violin/Piano - Faust/Melnikov)

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  9. dave 81
    Happy

    Havn't you heard?

    About the word?

    http://www.facebook.com/pages/BIRD-is-the-WORD-for-UK-Christmas-number-1-2010-to-beat-X-Factor/134615893253740

    Bird is the word!

    Better than silence.

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    1. Peter 77
      Reply Icon
      Megaphone

      The bird: most definitely *not* better than silence

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcHnL7aS64Y

      If we can get a few people to actually listen to their environment for a few minutes, that would actually be worth something.

      I don't care that about X-Factor, or charts in general... but

      CAGE FTW!

      Infinitely more valuable than some intensely annoying novelty tune.

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  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Can I get this....

    as a ringtone, for when my boss calls me at home?

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  11. John I'm only dancing

    Complete Control

    By the Clash would be the perfect song to boost to number....it is about a controlling record company telling them what to release.

    Sounds a lot like that abortion Cowell.

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    1. Geoff Campbell Silver badge
      Reply Icon
      Thumb Up

      EMI by the Sex Pistols

      That'd be even more fun. They could be banned from Radio 1 all over again....

      GJC

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  12. Anonymous Coward
    Pirate

    Some questions spring to mind..

    How much would RIAA try to sue for if someone was filesharing 4'33"?

    Is there an extended remix available?

    Has 4'33" ever been sampled and used in another track?

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    1. Velv
      Reply Icon
      Happy

      Bit In The Middle

      "Has 4'33" ever been sampled and used in another track? "

      Lots. Cockney Rebel - (Come Up And See Me) Make Me Smile comes to mind, but I'm sure there are plenty others. Didn't Chris Evans once have a feature on his Sunday show about songs with a bit of silence in them

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      1. William Towle
        Reply Icon
        Happy

        @Velv

        "Didn't Chris Evans once have a feature on his Sunday show about songs with a bit of silence in them"

        Missed that, sadly, but I do remember Simon Mayo shouting "mind the gap" in the pauses various records had. And the "Simon Mayo 12in remix" versions of things

        // Hurgh!

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    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      ever sampled?

      Yep, Vanilla Ice sampled and looped about 10 seconds of it for his hit "Ice Ice Baby". They laid down the loop first, then over-dubed the bass lick from Under Pressure.

      ...mine's the gaudy red white and blue USA leather jacket with the flipped up collar.

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  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Might actually buy this

    It's actually a good cause rather than giving it to some money-grabbing mega-charity to waste on TV adverts for themselves

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  14. Colin Miller

    ... you'll be singing it for weeks

    Time for The Chicken Song to be re-released.

    Luck & Flaw were so right...

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  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    RIAA threatens...

    ... to sue for copyright infringements and seek massive fines from anyone and anything remaining completely silent for any period of time.

    The Syndicate Of Deceased People has initiated an emergency meeting to brainstorm on a solution to the problem.

    Meanwhile, sales of metal spoons and pans rocket among alive and panicked population.

    The Government, bending over the industry and screwing the electorate in the process as usual, declared any minutes of silence henceforth outlawed, and immediately replaced any instance with minutes of ear-splitting screams as a temporary solution. the will be reviewed after the imminent release of the "ear-splitting screams" album which is expected to reach platinum status within a week due to overwhelming demand by dumb consumers with no tastes whatsoever.

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  16. Dale 3

    Thanks guys

    Now I've got that track stuck in my head and it's driving me insane!

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  17. Tim Walker
    Joke

    Now it makes sense...

    I'd heard that someone was going to release an "answer" record to Mitch Benn's "I'm Proud Of The BBC", running through a list of all the reasons we can be proud of Sky TV. I suppose this must be it...

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  18. The Fuzzy Wotnot
    Happy

    Non of this pop poop!

    Cannibal Corpse's famous "Ripping Entrails from...", should be pushed up as Xmas chart topper!

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  19. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Sarah Bee (Written by Reg staff)
      Reply Icon

      Re: timing

      Er... well done?

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  20. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Some questions spring to mind.

    Well, the John Cage estate *successfully* sued Mike Batt for copyright infringement when he included a track of 1 min silence on one of his albums.

    I wonder if the people behind this effort have cleared it with the estate ... or are they going to find all the money they thought would go to charity being seized as royalties.

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  21. Tim

    I'm confused

    I read the story and thought it was a nice, silly idea; a bit of cheerful whimsy on a cold Friday. Then I read all the comments and all the conflicting opinions have made me scared and tired. I've been at work for an hour and done nothing except think about the Christmas no. 1 in endless, excruciating, recursive fractal detail. I feel unpleasantly stoned. Worse, I don't know what to think at all now because I've got Surfing Bird and Make Me Smile going round and round my head.

    The article was like a delicious plate of oysters infected with a comment thread of norovirus.

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  22. Cunningly Linguistic
    Troll

    Will it be released...

    ...on a gold CD?

    PS previous message was meant as sarcasm for those who thought I was being serious!

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  23. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Orbital have past form in the silence stakes

    back in the day they entitled a mere 3'48" of quiet "Criminal Justice Bill?" in protest at the forthcoming clampdown on "repetitive beats". Although Autechre's "Flutter" is rather better.

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  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Another rival for Christmas No 1.

    http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/group.php?gid=106114816120104&v=info

    and 'The Nick Clegg story' remix: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mv1OigmYcvQ

    Both very NSFW

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  25. ShaggyDoggy

    Remix

    Yes back in the late 90's I did a radio-friendly remix, called it 2 minutes 33 seconds.

    This is true by the way.

    Google 4m33s

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  26. Sceptical Bastard
    Flame

    @ Code Monkey,

    I don't care who it's performed by or whether it's an accurate rendition of Cage's meisterverk. All I want is for it reach number one.

    I don't want that because " some wonk on Facebook told you to." I want that because it sticks it up that bog-brush-haired smarmy scumshite Cowell and the trite synthetic garbage that fuels his rich-boy life while impoverishing the culture the rest of us live in.

    I intend to put my 79p (or whatever) where my hate-filled mouth is even though I obviously don't want a 'recording' of silence.

    Christmas? Bah. Humbug.

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  27. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Alternative #1s...

    Speaking of alternative #1s, perhaps http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_profilepage&v=5VdvusVlFMM#t=82s might offer some respite from another year of Xfactor dominated music.

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  28. Disco-Legend-Zeke
    Joke

    Beelzebub Did A Dance...

    ...mix, it's 11 minutes and 6 seconds long.

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  29. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    released on vinyl?

    I'm only after the analogue version of this...dont want digital copy..especially not the MP3 version because the quantization causes serious loss on the silence

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  30. Will Godfrey Silver badge

    Well I think...

    ... this should be number 1 :)

    http://ia311016.us.archive.org/2/items/BitsAndPieces/0911_folderol_I_Know_A_Song.mp3

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  31. Damien Thorn
    FAIL

    The Devils song

    They sell me water, and now they want to sell me silence.

    Ill get my old decks out and remix it with some drum and bass.

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  32. Mips
    Jobs Horns

    Pop-culture bitchslap for Cowell

    Come on now! Get real. Cowell could not stay silent for 1 minute never mind 4' 33"

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  33. Dave 15

    silence is golden

    At least a period of quiet would be better than the dreary funeral like dirges that we are subjected to by every ill informed shop keeper in the country. Its HORRIBLE. Carols and Christmas songs that would be far more suited to 'celebrating' the death of a much loved relative than they are for the supposedly joyful events we are supposedly partying for.

    Frankly the older I get the less I appreciate having my ears bombarded by appaling Christmas music - it drives me AWAY from the shops, I hasten around and grab what I can and run away. I suspect I'm not the only one.

    I'd love Christmas music to be banned. I enjoy the celebration, but the dirge is horrible.

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  34. Dave Harris
    Thumb Up

    If it's a fight for the Christmas #1...

    ...surely someone will need their Fighting Trousers http://www.facebook.com/#!/event.php?eid=108766165863029

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iRTB-FTMdk&feature=channel

    The campaign to propel Professor Elemental to the top spot.

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