back to article BOFH: Robot wars

“I could have been killed!” the Boss whimpers, rubbing a couple of prominent bruises. “I think that’s a little far-fetched,” the PFY sniffs. “What was it going to do, 360-degree-camera you to death?” “It had a circular saw in its hands!!” “Really? It had hands!?” “Well, its claw then!” “IT’S GOT A CLAW!?” “WHATEVER THE …

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  1. Nexox Enigma

    Ahhhh....

    Now that I've read the BoFH, I know it's safe to get my first cup of coffee for the day.

    I kinda figured that Simon would have had the PFY open the crate while standing at a safe distance, though...

    How long until a killer robot gets locked in the tape safe, and how many bean counters end up in there with it?

  2. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Love It

    So the BOFH and PFY have some *real* competition for a change, instead of all those wimpy office types. I can see they are really going to enjoy this

  3. Charles Osborne
    Coat

    Now we know the real STUXNET targets.

    But was it from our boys, the robot manufacturer... or a third team from the Postal service tired of "active" packages?

    I hope I left my mains lockouts / chain armor in my coat.

  4. Kurt 5
    Grenade

    Roomba factory service

    Maybe it would be worth sending my Roomba back for service. I wonder how playful their support staff is.

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Go

    Excellent!

    I have never posted before but this one deserves it!

    I got a great visual from this one!

    This would be absolutely great on film!

    And the sequels!

    I'll be smiling all weekend!

    Thank You!!!

  6. tim 4
    Terminator

    RELEASE THE MAN-HACKS!!!!!!

    just search youtube for the latest quqdrotor guidance testing...

    disturbing fun as several with up-modded rotors lft from within the central carrier unit....

  7. wherrelz.com

    LMFAO, ROFL, LMFAO

    Been waiting for a LAUGH like this. The entire office thinks I'm nuts since I burst into laughter spontaneously; but WHO CARES!!

    Lovingit.

  8. D. M
    Thumb Up

    How many beancounters and bosses

    will fall in front of killing bot sent from both side? I can hardly wait.

  9. ShadowDragon8685
    Go

    Oh, thank you!

    I'd just learned that the Stig was outed, which means he must be killed off (The Stig is dead, long live the Stig,) and I needed - clinically needed - some snarky UK-style humor to reenliven me. The Bastard provides! ^_^

    Of course, by now, both sides will know that they cannot open the crates safely, because the other side will have programmed and rigged the robot to come out swinging. The roboticists will probably have learned their lesson about the petrol-powered chainsaw from this one, though, since it requires start-up time and makes noise. How long it is until one side or the other equips the robot with a nail-gun, I wonder?

    Let the games commence! Hopefully with an absolute maximum of middle managers, executive managers, boardmembers, chairpersons, beancounters, executive officers, financial officers and other corporate malingerers (which definition can never include the hard-working members of technical or informational staff) caught in the crossfire as possible.

  10. mittfh
    Flame

    Other ideas...

    Definitely include a step-up transformer connected to the casing. Just in case the techs aren't wearing very thick rubber-soled shoes. Heck, turn the upper half into a tesla coil dome. Or buy a job lot of "next-gen" tasers and incorporate them into the design. With a suitably amplified potential difference.

    EM pulse generator - fry all electrical equipment within a certain radius of the robot.

    Fuel cell power plant - just make sure the H2 bottle is well protected.

    GPS + flamethrower - as soon as it arrives it goes on the rampage, before the techs have a chance to get anywhere near it. Which also explains the icon I've chosen.

  11. Richard Bragg
    Thumb Up

    Common enemy

    Brilliant, now let battle commence, especially once the two teams realise there is a common enemy present in both camps.

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