back to article More iPhone 4 angst: fanbois howl over head sensor

As they complain of yellow splotches, screen scratches, and left-hander discrimination, disillusioned fanbois are also howling over problems with the not-so-holy handset's proximity sensor. "I'm having an issue with the Proximity Sensor not properly detecting when i'm holding my phone to my ear," says one user in a post to the …

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but...

Nope, the teccies just jailbreak their iPhones to make them into what they really should be.

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WTF?

Give over!

Yep, nothing like spending all day at work listening to shite problems from whining cretins, then go home to the same thing!!! Yep techies need to flagulate themselves on a their O/S and machines when they get home. No pain, no gain! Not a real man unless your suffering for your career! I must get home and spend 6 hours trying to get my USB gadget X3764 driver installed in the most complicated and painful way possible, just like a real tech!

Bollocks! Sorry mate, but when I get out of my day job as an IT techie, I don't mind reading tech articles on the way home, but when I get home I want a very easy life. I want my kids and my Missus to not bust my chops about the PC won't do this or that. I go home and I have non-tech hobbies ( guitars and photography ) , which my Mac allows me to accomplish quickly and painlessly. I then go back to work, feeling refreshed and able to do my job with a clear and open mind.

I work as and Oracle DBA, Unix Systems admin on Sparc, AIX and Linux systems, NetBackup admin on Unix and Windows kit. I know pain in large doses and I don't want it at home, I have a wife and kids for that!

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FAIL

You give over!

OCP Cert DBA, Solaris/AIX/Linux/HP-UX UNIX (over 1000 machines), Netbackup/Legato is just part of the job, I've got a Sun cluster in my garage, just built a triple boot Win7/OSX/Ubuntu box at home, didn't take long, real techies do this stuff at home, it just doesn't take up your life if you're any good at it (oh and I take photos, play guitar, race motorbikes), if you spent a bit more time being a techie then maybe you wouldn't suffer so much pain at work?

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Pint

title

See? This is why I am a hardware guy. Let the other guys write the apps that I can put on my phone or desktop, while I'm on the water drinking a beer on my boat. :) -oops, Fish On!

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Coat

Bait and ..

Ahhhh, The old Bait 'n' Switch job.

Then again, Dont you need a decent product to start with to use as bait?

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iPhone 3GS users need not bother to upgrade the hardware ...

But the free iOS 4 software upgrade is really rather good and I'm looking forward to the upgrade for the iPad as I'm already missing the differences when moving between the iPad and 3GS.

Exposed antennas was always going to be a gamble and I would have thought an inclusion of a black bumper with each phone would have been a good move rather than charging a fortune for a set of coloured silicon elastic bands!

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J 3
Jobs Horns

Simple

Just don't hold it the right way.

With love

SJ

(do I put the joke or the eveil Jobs icon now...? Aw chucks, evil Jobs it is)

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Happy

Perspective

Back in the day I had a Nokia smartphone an " N70", a total pile fo crap that you had to celotape the back down to prevent the camera being exposed everytime you took it out of your pocket. Nowadays I have another Nokia, the E52 with pretty much the same shit OS and same crappy interface. I have the iPhone on order and will take the antenna issues and whatever as a vast improvement thank you.

Dave

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Boffin

Then

may i suggest use of "locking the keyboard".

This solves your problem with no need to resort to adhesives. Simple intelligence would have sufficed.

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Idiot

If the interface of the OS is more important than getting a signal - FOR YOUR PHONE - then welcome to the world of Apple. Let me know how the removable storage, flash, freedom of apps and ability to completely modify your handset goes...

Sure Jobs will be more than happy to take your cash.

Moron.

P.S. Why the hell you went from a high end Nokia multimedia device (N Series) to a business orientated enterprise handset (E Series) truly shows your knowledge of mobiles devices.

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Jobs Halo

bluetooth

It's an Apple marketing feature. By breaking the proximity sensor feature, this will discourage you from holding it to your head. You will find that the best way to use it is with a BT headset. You will find that you necessarily must hold it in your hand and constantly admire it. After all, If you can't admire it and wave it around and show it off, what's the point of having an Apple device? In case you need to use both hands at once, you can fasten it around your neck as a medallion. Have more faith, fanboys! It works the way it was designed for your benefit, in the same way that its lack of Flash support, file management, and multitasking are for your benefit.

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Newness

Once upon a time Apple and there loyal customers weren't suckered by the whole newness thing. And now they've been totally screwed by it this time. The pressure to get something new out has clearly overruled the need for proper product testing.

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Jobs Horns

Solution ......

Apple to start selling iEar Bumpers to ensure your Jesus phone is the correct distance away.

They can be bought for a mere £25 a pop (via an app) in the iPillock section.

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Stop

Ehm, ehm...

Got the same problem with two Samsung B3410 phones from the same batch... Anybody noticed?

No seriously, I really had the problem and I didn't feel the urge to write it on a forum of pi***d-off Samsung users.

If Apple sold really 1.7 Million phones I wonder if those users having now problems are not belonging to a statistical case rather than a diffused defect.

However: never purchase Ver.1 of ANY product on Earth. Microsoft docet!!

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Jobs Halo

iPod

Don't know about the iPhone, but OS 4 on my iPod is killing my battery dead in less than 24 hours, compared to a week on 3.x.... something's going on that's not right (master of the bleeding obvious)

Jobs, because the gadgets are cool even if they don't work completely right.

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Go

iPod OS4

Friend of mine had the same problem, solved it by doing a full factory reset. Might be worth a try?

GJC

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Grenade

The other snippet...

...of useful info I've managed to find is to turn off 'Push' email on any accounts you have setup. This would drain my 3GS battery in about 5 hours of doing precisely bugger all.

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Joke

the answer is simple...

...the head recognition was only tested on Apple employees. Actual humans don't register on the sensor.

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Ubuntu

@Hedley Phillips

So because you are using Ubuntu you classify yourself as techie? Same analogy to some iphone users who think they are cool.

How can apple mess it up so much!

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FAIL

Anyone...

that bases their self worth on using or owning any piece of software or technology is a contemptuous dick. Fact. If you need objects like that to fill the empty void that is your life, then you have far bigger problems than worrying if the the Linux distro you prefer is perceived as cool or not. Yes, that includes you Android fanbois too. And since when has being a 'techie' ever been considered 'cool'? In fact I'd go as far to say those that think they are cool because of what they own or use are in the same band as those that consider themselves 'power-users'; feckless wankers.

"How can apple mess it up so much!" Can the hubris you cock; there'll be reports of Microsoft/Google/Nokia/A N Other (delete as applicable) fucking up to a similar extent sooner or later, and the respective fanbois'll be howling derision or hyperbole at that too. IT'S FUCKING BORING!

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anger iussues...

Suggest you calm down, looks like you have some anger issues. Btw, didn't realise people forced you to read and then comment. If its that annoying, click the x, top right.

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FAIL

*sigh*

Hang-on Mr don't-be-mean-to-my-fellow-hater; I've got no anger issues here. What I have got is a complete bewilderment to the incredibly high levels of stupid that feature in articles and comments on the web--especially copy'n paste "you don't have to read it" replies when you mis-understand my point. I've no problem with brand loyalty, but some of the crap people write to defend their chosen brand and deride everyone elses is infantile. Have a look at the 606 forums for football on the BBC site, which is overrun by clueless teenagers, and tell that the majority of comments here are any different.

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Needs Context

1.7 Million sold in 3 days.

Show me a forum thread stuffed with 170 angry people and I'll show you a product with a 0.01% defect rate.

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Thumb Up

and?

That just shows 1.7 million fanbois

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Joke

Phone problems?

Ring 1-800 Applefanbois and ask Steve where you should shove it.

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Troll

Just tried calling and ...

... found I couldn't ... zero bars reception ...

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Chuck Norris Phone

I have had enough of this Jesus-phone crap. Give me the Chuck Norris Phone!

It would not make a call, it would summon the other party right next to you, so you can talk in person.

It would not need a micro our touch sensor, it could read your mind from your facial expression.

It would not need a screen, it could solidify (sp?) the air for *real* 3D.

... your product ideas welcome.

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Silver badge

And for the ring tone..

It would deliver a spinning roundhouse straight across your laughing tackle..

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Anonymous Coward

ChuckPhone

The Chuck Norris phone won't wear a bumper, it would sell you a bumper to fit the world

You don't hold the Chuck Norris Phone, it holds onto you..

It doesn't use its screen to display text messages or emails, it carves them in nearby rock faces with a single kick.

The Chk Nrrs Phn doesn't do txt spk, it conveys it's meaning with a single word.

Ad nauseum

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Thumb Up

Chuckphone

And of course, the Chuckphone doesn't blend:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_S8sxpK4_iA&annotation_id=annotation_401075&feature=iv

(sorry for all the associated Jobsian gubbins, watch it with the sound off, it's more bearable)

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Chuck Norris does not need a phone...

All those years of playing karate means he can telepatheticate with anyone or anything with an IQ higher than that of an amoeba...

F!@# no.. no no no more Chuck Norris jokes...

Everyone knows Vin Diesel would pwn Chuck in a 1-v-1 any day.

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Jobs Horns

Early Adoptors

Ha Ha.

I have an iPhone, but it is a 3gs got in April, now running IOS4 which seems ok.

The phone works quite well and i have never paid more than 600 quid for any mac i have owned (including the air that i am writing this on).

I may not be a true fan boy since i don't only use mac's but its only Jobs calling the shots if you let him!!

And as for buying the first version of a device, well that's just silly - if you're cool-ness / popularity is measured by the latest products you buy then you are no better than a fashionista starving themselves to fit in a dress designed by a gay man for the figure of a teenage male!!!

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Coat

I'm sure there is a gag in here...

about iPhone users talking out of there arse and cheek proximity testing, but I just cant find it.

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Alert

Is it 'cos I is Black?

Imagine that.

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Thumb Down

Fanbois?

I'm pretty sure the definition of a "fanboi" means that they never complain?

El Reg's "hilariously" subjective coverage of anything to do with Apple is becoming tedious...

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Boffin

nope

it means they defend Apple at all cost, even if its stupid to do so.

I think its really funny that so many Applites read El Reg, cant understand why though, for such a techie site its surprising that there are so many apple munchers here. Usually techie sites are full of sensible pro-choice, 'Free my Device', 'Its My Computer', 'Jail-breaker' kind of people. but el reg seems to attract die hard defenders (aka Fanbois) ready to stand gaurd of thier precious shiny iPhad.

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Pint

er?

"Usually techie sites are full of sensible pro-choice, 'Free my Device', 'Its My Computer', 'Jail-breaker' kind of people"

You mean another bunch of small-minded arseholes who don't understand that the choice they should be exercising is not to buy the fucking thing in the first place?

I don't currently own an iPhone/smart-phone and life seems to have gone merrily on with barely a care in the world beyond still having more beer-tokens than I might otherwise have had. Must do something about that...

^D

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I think sbuk (see above) had the correct fanboy definition ...

... in essence ... anybody who takes their personal self worth from <insert device, software etc.> here from <insert vendor here>. That is what drives their need to lord it over others and behave illogically.

Somehow, Apple seems to manage to create (or attract if it is peronality based?) these types of individuals more successfully (see their bottom line) than others ... that is Apple's true success!

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Pint

@Geoff25 Erm. yes..

I do not own an iPhone. by exercising my choice. exactly. but it is because when I buy it, it is my phone! so it is debranded unlocked and rooted so that it is actually usable for stuff. Its Mine I paid for it I will do what I like to it! and IF i want to use it fro pr0n that is MY choice, not mr st.Eve with his tempting apple. DO NOT eat the fruit of the forbidden tree.

Mind you ,there are a lot of appletards who do stuff to thier phones too, though that is usually limited to solar death rays, blenders etc (see recent posts).

Tokens. mmm..

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Anonymous Coward

needs context

1.7M phone sold in 3 days. 1.7M people who need to get a life and realise that its a phone and thats it.

When I see anyone with them, my first comment is "oh, yet another iClone". Your not showing off your demostrating just how simple minded and shallow you are. baaaaaaa!

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Big Brother

How nice

It's refreshing to get a post from someone who doesn't say "My Nokisonung B543 is better than the iPhone because it makes tea with fairtrade teabags."

You, obviously, don't have a mobile phone and you, obviously, don't go along with the other trolls who would jealously decry iPhone owners with such crap as "iClone" or making sheep comments!

If you don't like iPhones, don't buy them! But don't lump all iPhone users/buyers together ... you merely show just how simple minded and shallow YOU are in doing so.

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Big Brother

Sensor

I thought I would check my sensor as I couldn't find any of the other problems users had found.

Aha! I found MY sensor wouldn't work either!

Then I found it only works when there's a phone call and it works perfectly.

If I only had some friends I would have known this sooner!

Is it Apple's fault I have no friends?

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"I queued for hours...."

".....and then when I got it and found it didn't work, I QQ'd for hours as well."

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Why left-handed users?

OK I must admit to being baffled at the assertion the signal issue affects left-handed people more than right-handed. I'm right handed but hold my phone in my left hand to use the touchscreen (T-Mobile G1) but I do the same with my iPod Touch. Surely if lefties go by a similar approach they are less likely to see the problem or am I missing something? It's hardly practical to use the touchscreen on any phone with the same hand you're holding it.

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Unhappy

The issue for left handers

Is that when receiving a phone call they generally hold the phone in the left hand and as they do the full signal drains bar by bar until there is no signal and the call is dropped. A bit of an issue there. 3 guys in our office on iPhone 4 only 1 suffers this issue (he's on Vodaphone, the others on O2)

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Jobs Horns

Obvious joke but needs to be said...

"I'm having an issue with the Proximity Sensor not properly detecting when i'm holding my phone to my ear,"

So the owner is either an: "Air-head" , "Has nothing between the ears" or "Typical Apple Fan-boy"

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Paris Hilton

Head Sensor

What, 71 posts about a "head Sensor" and not a single mention of our favourite head sensor, Mizz Paris.

May I be the first etc.

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Badgers

Frankly

We're having a discussion about overrated and expensive things that don't work. I don't see the Paris angle at all!

...err

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Unhappy

Think of the vocabulary

Sorry if you think me a pedant, but I'm concerned for the future of the English language:

Remember there's a difference between "your" and "you're" and don't forget "there", "their" and "they're". Mobile phones have a lot to answer for!

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All at sea

But I thought Apple could do no wrong. I was lead to believe, following numerous reg articles, that only Microshat releases stuff that is buggy, incomplete and/or frequently doesn't work.

I've recently discovered the joys of something called a pen and paper. So little down-time using said articles.

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