back to article Welsh police come down hard on Octopussy porn

A man appeared before Swansea magistrates this week accused of possessing extreme porn images, including one which allegedly shows "a person performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely a squid." Or octopus. The reports are not 100 per cent clear. The Sun reported this week that Andrew Dymond, 46, from Mumbles …

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Anonymous Coward

Context and lies

The really important part abould the CGI Tiger case was that somehow the soundtrack got lost, and that concealed any sign that it was intended as a joke. I don't recall if it happened within the Police unit involved, or the CPS, but when it was discovered, and demonstrated, it pretty much blew the case out of the water. Courts don't like people who mess with the evidence.

They knew it was CGI. That's hard to do well enough to look even approximately real.

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Regarding accidental caching

If you're running one of those rinky-dink link-scanners (e.g. AVG) it will cheerfully pre-cache images on pages that are linked to by the page you're currently on.

So now it's not even safe to read articles like this one, in case someone posts a link to the naughties in it.

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FAIL

Extra legs for a weak case maybe?

His 'indecent images of children' might be topless 14+ teens pouting at webcams. If a joke image is needed to prop the charges up the case might be feeble....

Besides this emphasises that this guy probably had no more intention of engaging in real life activity with a minor than he did with a dead mollusc.

If I get a kick out of Dirty Harry movies - it doesn't mean I blow people's heads off with a .44 magnum. That the thought crime of looking at a picture attracts (if anything more) severe opprobium and sentences similar to committing the depicted act is irrational and unjust.

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Happy

AC@14:41

"His 'indecent images of children' might be topless 14+ teens pouting at webcams. If a joke image is needed to prop the charges up the case might be feeble...."

Quite right. The phrase "Manufacturing an image" could mean he has been photographing children without clothes doing various unpleasant things.

down to

Photo-shopping some cartoons.

Without a trial there really is *no* way of knowing which of these is more accurate. It makes a nice smear tactic though.

People (well lawyers ) talk of "Bringing the law into disrepute." This "law" (IIRC it's actually a couple of clauses of a *huge* bill) seems *designed* to do that.

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Headmaster

Pedants' corner

Please refrain from using octopuses as the plural. The correct plural is octopodes.

Thank you for your co-operation.

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Or, in this case, perhaps

Octopedos

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WTF?

C'est nes pas une crime

So is it having sex with a (dead) squid or having a photo of having sex with a (dead) squid that's illegal?

I

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@Pedants' corner

>The correct plural is octopodes.

The sun thinks that means having sex with 8 children.

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Sir

So does that mean Antipodes is the plural of Antipus?

wtf is an Antipus and will I be arrested for photographing it in London?

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Democracy in Action

1. GOOGLE IMAGES: octopus + sex

2. Copy URL

3. Forward to local MP asking "what is this?"

4. If no reply within 24 hours report MP to local police.

5. ????

6. Profit

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Thing about this fetish

Tentacle porn was created in response to censorship. So the response might not be more censorship because it will cause the next worse thing to tentacle porn.

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Terminator

Do Extreme Pornographers Fantasize About Electric Sheep?

Roboporn comes to mind. After all, sex with mechanical devices, such as vibrators, is already mainstream. So if extreme pornographers want to get around the extreme porn law, perhaps all they need to do is produce porn featuring humans having sex with various kinds of animal-like robots?

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Alert

Re: Thing about this fetish

Good God, NO!

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Coat

Attraction preferences

He was quite clearly a leg man.

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Happy

My apologies for this joke....

If found guilty he will probably get a sick squid fine.

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Sex with a dead animal

if the octopus was dead, then insurely ceased to be an animal and was just then some octopus shaped meat (or fish if you want to look at it in that way)

No im not saying that is wouldn't still be pervy but would that make it any different than a guy blowing his load over a plate full of bacon or a lamb chop which i am assuming is legal to do so if you wanted?

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re: Sex with a dead animal

By your definition, sex with a dead human is also acceptable. Bzzt! Sorry, wrong answer!

However, the image you have left me with of someone with their plate of bacon, suitably adorned, might take a while to shift. Thanks for that; I've gone right off having brunch on Sunday!

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Uh... no.

There are lots of laws against defiling human corpses/graves/etc. But since we eat dead animals you can do things to them which you can't do to dead humans.

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Happy

@Ball boy

Historically the question would be "Will Sir be wanting some 'Gentleman's relish' with his bacon'"

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Joke

Another angle

Hmm.. Surely raw squid must be some sort of food. I would imagine it'd be like sashimi or something. So... having it off with sashimi 'could' be about as illegal as hmm... do you remember the bloke that was having it off with a cherry pie in 'American Pie' (the film?). Would American pie then be some form of extreme porn? :P

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FAIL

2 Sides

Whether he is guilty of the other charges and if he is throw him down the river but to actuially charge anyone with this absurdity a man shagging an octy! who gives a rats arse honestly.

Obviously a bit of a fruit loop for having that sort of pic but a criminal offense as a result? The end of days must be near.

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Hmm

I've read a few posts implying that the main story is the 14 charges of creating child porn, but I don't see that as the case.

I perceive a general mentality when CPS go after someone they go for a spatter gun effect, try them for as many crimes as possible in the hope that something sticks.

The more crimes they're charged with the more likely they are to be found guilty I think is the way it goes.

The other thing this is going to do is justify the law, if the guy makes kiddy porn he's bad, agreed. He also has images of dead squid/octoporn whatever, that's got to be bad (by association) therefore whenever anyone else has these sorts of images chances are they're as bad as this guy.

What do they call it in legalese? Precedent or something?

So lawyers can start quoting case law in "similar" prosecutions.

I don't have any odd porn, but there was a lot flying about when I was at uni, in a sort of goatse way. It seems like it's just another law to slap people with in the event they can't prove you've actually done something wrong, like the occassions when you've not done anything wrong and some dickhead copper (some of them are dickheads) takes a dislike to you.

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Flame

typing error

sorry for being a pedant, but i spotted a typing error in your post..

you said "*some* of them are dickheads"

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Alert

Robinson Crusoe and other Questions.

There were a large number of native goats on that island.

They found that some of the goats had nicked ears. The ones that he killed and ate never had nicks on their ears.

They summised that he was fucking some and marking them so he could distinguish between his 'lovers' and his 'food'.

It has been said that raw steak makes a passable substitute for the female lady-part. How many pieces do you have to chop a dead animal up into before you can fuck it, lawfully?

It seems so simple to say: "Animals: Kill them. Don't Fuck Them!" but nothing's ever really as uncomplicated as that, is it.

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Troll

@ mark l 2

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/03/22/deer_man_convicted/

As a precedent, t is actually illegal in parts of the US to throw your muck up Bambi's mum

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Happy

Thankfully, this doesn't apply (as yet) to plants

Otherwise, pity your poor fig leaf (not to mention other fruits & vegetables, or the legal status of a big truffle/fungus).

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Pirate

I was just thinking...

If putting dead sea creatures in your vajayjay is illegal now, this product must be against the law too, right?

http://www.seapearls.co.uk/

Won't someone think of the sponges?

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What about eggs?

I'm thinking of the famous photo of Edwina Currie's daughter.

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Charges

"14 charges of making indecent images of children"

images (plural)

so how many images in each charge then ?

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Happy

any chance

of a picture of the squid?

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Flame

OMG

Its Octopedogeddon!

Seriously. The story talks of images from "Level 1" to 4 of severity (can anyone explain this scheme?). Level 5 is meant to be the most severe so WTF is this having-sex-with-a-squid BS doing on the sheet?

Unless the "serious" stuff is actually animated/computer generated, which would be *very* serious if it featured *real* children, except it doesn't.

CP is nasty, abusive behavior to children.

This *feels* more like another tigger porn case.

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WTF?

Thought crime

How the hell do people accept this? Someone can be charged for downloading pictures off the net for free?

WHAT IS THE CRIME AND WHO ARE THE VICTIMS?

A return to Victorian England.

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Location

Where exactly was this, Wales?

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goats...

It's Wales, sure it wasn't sheep? Allegedly there's more sheep in Wales than people and there's not a lot to do in Wales...what's one to do with one's time?

baaaaa.....

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Legislation

I thought the whole point about the legislation over extreme porn was to protect the innocent victims, the subjects of the porn.

ie... bdsm, child porn.

The usual argument, if you get rid of the market for it, then people won't carry out the acts.

It's rather crude link anyway, because people aren't paying for the photographs and the perpetrators would probably carry out the acts whether they had people to give the photos or not, as they're doing it for their own personal pleasure.

But shagging a dead animal? Who gets hurt there? Not the animal..it's already dead.

Might be different if the guy was killing the animals for the purpose of shagging them and taking pics.

The extreme law thing is a complete ass anyway, it was so vaguely defined, taking a picture of and S&M model, you know the kind of thing, (don't you?), girl in chains, leather to be published to make money for the photographer, an obviously arranged professional photo shoot, without any actual action taking place, could constitute extreme porn and lead to the photographer being arrested.

Ironic, but it's the coppers, the lawyers, law makers that are more into it than anyone else.

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Grenade

"child porn"

A lot of people seem to be forgetting that this and the new cartoon porn law together create a situation where just about anything can be classified as "indecent images of children" purely based on perception. They could be talking about a bunch of pictures clipped from page 3 of the Sun which, out of context, can easily appear to be under the defined age of a child in the porn laws.

So the whole thing about him being a paedo is more likely just a smokescreen.

<-- I think you know where they can shove this.

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FAIL

sushi porn

What was the film where a japanese dude ate sushi off a naked chick? Does that count as sex with dead fish?

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not Tampopo

but there is the crayfish scene, and the egg scene, and the oyster scene...

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FAIL

McSex

I literally "ate" a hamburger yesterday. Does that count as oral sex with a dead cow?

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Terminator

invasions

The tentacles of this invidious law are penetrating deep into the very core of our society and injecting into it a slimy overlay of fear and criminalisation. That they took many of the public somewhat unaware of this means it is the biggest rape of our society that has made us all look like common suckers. Well, now we know: the consequences of being suckers without complete knowledge normally leavest a bitter taste in our mouths, which has happened here, and makes us unwilling to swallow it. We should, instead, spit it out, and level at this bill our universal condomnation.

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Bravo, good sir and/or madam

For the largest number of double entendres in a single post. Well done.

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Coat

So..

You can kill it.. and if you're in one particular version of the Abrahamic faiths feel free to slice its throat out while it's fully conscious..

You can skin, gut and eat it.

But you can't fuck it?

Methinks the law is a little bit screwed up. Not that bonking a slab of meat is my cup of tea, but it's not like a dead squid is going to mind.

Mine's the one with the tofu and texturized soy protein in the pocket. And a flame-proof layer in case people assume I'm into angular sun-wheels due to the first paragraph.

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