back to article Collisions at LHC! Tevatron record to be broken soon?

Forging ahead much faster than had been expected, particle-smashing boffins at the Large Hadron Collider have now carried out actual collisions - blasting beams of protons into one another at a healthy 450 giga-electron-volts each for total whack of 900 GeV. Since the mighty LHC was crippled last year in an unfortunate electro …

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Pint

There is no "Higgs Boson" (moderatrix: humbly resubmitted, I replaced image llink

Those of you familiar with "Zeke's Yin Yang Model of the Universe" will recall that gravity is not actually a "force" but rather an observed effect of the distortion of the space-time continuum.

Photons, which are the only objects in the universe, consist of two (or possibly more) particles which orbit each other in several dimensions. A very simplified diagram is here:

http://blog.destination-fun.com/Yin-Yang.jpg

The two (or more) dots, each surrounded by a force, and circling each other, easily attach to (or possibly even form) the fabric of time and space, rather like a rider attaches himself to a street car.

Shortly after the "Big Bang." however, there was not enough room for the sub photonic particles to expand into proper photons, so instead they took very convoluted orbits that involved many, many photons. The individual photons dancing within these clusters still attach to the space-time continuum, but because they are bound to many other photons, cannot move with it. As a result, a portion of the space-time continuum is "captured" by the object. Going back to the street car example, imagine two indestructable commuters, handcuffed together, each grabbing onto streetcars going in opposite directions. Then just scale it up by a gazillion or so and you can visualize what is going on: a tiny part (yet extending to the edge of the universe) of the space-time continuum becomes attached to the object, and moves along with it.

This creates effects we call INERTIA and GRAVITY, no boson is needed to make it work.

The beer is for Hawking, he got it right.

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Man...

where's my crowbar when I need it?! I'll see you guys in Lambda Core...

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Finally the Theory of Everything

Einstein was right about the shortcomings of Quantum Mechanics and so therefore String Theory is also the incorrect approach. As an alternative to Quantum Theory there is a new theory that describes and explains the mysteries of physical reality. While not disrespecting the value of Quantum Mechanics as a tool to explain the role of quanta in our universe. This theory states that there is also a classical explanation for the paradoxes such as EPR and the Wave-Particle Duality. The Theory is called the Theory of Super Relativity and is located at: http://www.superrelativity.org

This theory is a philosophical attempt to reconnect the physical universe to realism and deterministic concepts. It explains the mysterious.

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@Super Relativity!

It has an awesome name, so it MUST be true!

I can see it all now. Super Einstein and the rest of the Super Relatives, such as Hawking the Evaporator and The God Particle, using their ether-derived powers to save Universe the evil clutches of Quanticaa and her army of Stringites.

This idea is comic gold!

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Boffin

@Dan 10

Relativity says that the particles can't be moving any faster than c relative to each other. That's true in any frame of reference, including the ones where either particle is at rest. But the total energy involved is the same in all of them: 450 GeV + 450 GeV = 900 GeV.

Basically that's why they describe the collisions in terms of energy, not speed. You can always give a particle more energy, but at relativistic speeds doubling energy does not double the speed. Most of the energy becomes mass (e=mc^2 and all that) and the particle gets heavier.

Even though the relative speed is the pretty much the same (ie damn near close to c), there's twice as much energy available to make new stuff, like Higgs bosons.

"The Soupening" - that's the *really* bad Highlander sequel, isn't it?

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Anonymous Coward

What?

I get the relativity stuff, I actually knew it but couldn't get it into words so thank you for that but one important point, there was a good Highlander sequel?

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Alien

YEEEEHA!

Europeans are just as much fun!

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The Dungeon Dimensions

I for one am very disappointed at the lack of mentions of The Dundeon Dimensions. What do we have Wizards for anyway, if not to repel the ravening hordes of.... Oh, hang on, wrong reality.

As you were everyone.

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Coat

Dimensional portals.

I'll go buy a crow-bar.

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We do what we must because we can.

For the good of all of us

Except the ones who are dead.

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Pressure 5+5 = 5

If pressure is applied from two sources, and each pressure has a starting point of 5, then the total output pressure is 5.

If you had a book between both palms, and you applied 5 lbs of pressure with one palm, then the 2nt palm would feel all 5lbs of pressure (try it, put a book inbetween your hands and push with one hand, the other one will move if you dont push back!)..

So the pressure sources will equalize, if we were talking about mechanical force then the book would feel the full amount of source added.

Gas pressure is kinda fun to work with, air motors, homebrew cannons, shifting a house from it's foundation using a footpump :p...

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Anonymous Coward

@An O-Level physicist writes...

You should probably use something other than cars in your examples, as their collisions are far from elastic. :)

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Time and All That

Some claim that the universe began with a Big Bang and that all matter burst forth as an expanding universe, expanding at presumably the speed of light. This is of course ridiculous. What happened at the Big Bang was the emergence of Time itself, without which there can be no velocity, no vectors, and no matter - especially that of the particulate kind. Logically, particle physics, and astronomy etc., like alchemy itself ,are all an illusion. It is no coincidence that the Large Hadron Collider is situated in Geneva - spiritual home of Rolex and Omega, the Masters of Time. Those CERN scientists should gather up their plastic tubing and jubilee clips and get on with some serious science.

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Stop

newtonian physics on a quantum level is a big NO

"Concerning the energy of collision, the kinetic energy of the particles would be (1/2) * (mass) * (velocity squared), see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energy."

@Rocketman: you are taking newtonian physics and applying it on a quantum level. That's plain wrong! E=mc^2 is what you should apply to particles.

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