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back to article Vampires not good role models for Catholics, declares Vatican

The Vatican has come out against vampirical toothy teen book'n'movie series Twilight, dismissing the epic girl loves vampire, girl loses vampire, girl becomes vampire cycle as a "deviant moral vacuum". The Holy See's attempt to drive a stake through the heart of the burgeoning film franchise came as it took £1.8m on its …

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  1. Shady
    Dead Vulture

    Trade Descriptions Act

    They aren't Vampires in Twilight, just incredibly strong emo's - and since an emo is just a lazy goth I suppose that doesn't work either....

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  2. raving angry loony

    psychology?

    I wonder how much the movie makers paid to have the Vatican trash it? Oh, new gold roof for the Vatican? Suits you sir! Now, trash our movie to make it look good. Ta!

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  3. Adam T
    Thumb Up

    Vacuous indeed

    I guess the pope, too, must have been conned into being the driver to the midnight showing last Thursday.

    I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. What an absolute pile of garbage - it was like being stuck in a auditorium-sized Avon party. Fuck me.

    I got my own back at the very end, when I very childishly burst out laughing at the closing line. I was lucky to get out alive. Women in those numbers, definitely not to be scorned...

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  4. TeeCee Gold badge
    FAIL

    So this is the end of religion?

    In the good old days, they'd have been out there on the front line instigating a new Inquisition, fully tooled-up with bells, books, candles, stakes, garlic, holy water, pulse-phased plasma rifles* and all fired up for a bit of heavy-duty converting.

    Now they put out a PR.

    *Sod DARPA, gimme Jesuits any day.....

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  5. Paul Hates Handles
    Grenade

    ...and then...

    ..."Oh, and also - the film is shit!" says Pope.

    Pope right for the first time in history shocker!

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  6. Wize

    @ Law

    "disclaimer: I've never seen Twilight/New Moon/Old Moon/Half Moon/Dawn..."

    Mmmm Jafacakes *drool*

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  7. niceguydave

    Brains

    This from an organisation which worships a benevolent zombie.

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