back to article 'Stop NASA bombing the Moon!'

Treehugging, possibly lycanthropic web-2.0 campaigners have launched a petition intended to "stop NASA from bombing the Moon!". The organisers of the petition claim that the space agency is turning unspoiled lunar wilderness into a "firing range" for space weapons, and that US "imperialists" intend to colonise the moon "without …

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  1. J 3
    Coat

    @Another demonstration

    ...of Poe's Law?

    I suspect so too.

    @Her?

    Well, do YOU know what Luna is up to in those few days of the month when it effectively "disappears" from our view? I don't, so it could be...

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    Moon Maid won't mind a bit

    No, seriously, she won't mind a bit of exploratory fiddling with her home world.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    @AC 15:45

    Nah, they were really aiming for Mars. Call it blue-on-blue fire if you will... :-)

    Mine's the spent-rocket-stage-proof one next to the space suit.

  4. Mr Young
    Pint

    I know nothing...

    ...but a quick google got me interested - have you seen the abuse planets can take? Aitken Basin on the moon? Herschel Crater on Mimas(Saturn moon I think - no expert)?

    Enough of that - are these hippies running scared cause NASA found their lentil and herb stash? Dark side of the moon? Or is it the end of the world again?OMG!

  5. Daemon ZOGG
    Pirate

    Sillyness will not be tollerated..

    An english translated quote from Ancient Hinu, Bhagavad Gita.. "I am become death, the destroyer of worlds."

    Human-kind will always and forever change the face of the universe and beyond. It is our nature. Entropy is the one of the basic laws of the universe. We cannot escape it. No matter how hard we try.

    ;)

  6. Chronos Silver badge
    Joke

    Dahak

    Surely an Imperial Utu-class battle steel planetoid isn't going to be bothered by a little thing like a spent rocket...

    OK, I read too much.

  7. Marketing Hack Silver badge
    Paris Hilton

    And how would this be different...

    From all the Appolo-era and other lunar satellite remains that have plowed into the moon's surface? By my count there are 8 new (geologically speaking) lunar craters just from the LEMs which impacted the lunar surface after their departure orbits decayed.

    Paris--because, well, she's a hell of a lot better looking than the Ballmer, Gates and the troll doll icons.

  8. LaeMi Qian Silver badge
    Flame

    the indigenous peoples...

    ...are presumably the ones that will be firing BACK!!!

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    the moon belongs to america

    Funny that them yanks lost interested in the moon till various 'foreigners' started sending kit up there snooping around....

    So now the hysterical race to get there and install the barbed wire fences and brand all the moon rock has started again.

    Plucky Brits will probably send some bloke with big sideburns to measure everything in a suitably pompous and pointless Victorian fashion.

  10. jake Silver badge

    Damn!

    For a second there, I thought it was Friday :-(

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Welcome

    But seriously,...

    has anyone checked if this is a Chris Morris gig? (Brass Eye, peedos, "cake", etc)?

  12. cyberjawn

    There stupied Idiots

    Wow, can't believe that theres so many dumb asses out there. It's science not warfare you freakin idiots!!! There's no life on that rock! As long as we don't knock it out of orbit we're fine.

  13. Adam Williamson 1
    Alert

    Well...

    Clearly the guy's nuttier than a Toblerone, but then on the other hand, if you believe the U.S. isn't interested in space-based weapon systems you've got approximately the same level of contact with reality, I suspect. baldusi's points make it fairly clear that this isn't that, though. It's probably a distraction while they're *really* testing the weapons on Mars...

    Jason DePriest: thought experiment: how much actual damage would it cause to anyone's interests if someone dropped a sodding great bomb on the desert in Nevada somewhere? Answer: naff all. Bombs do damage to a) living things and b) artificial structures. If you drop a bomb on a large expanse of sand and rocks, you end up with very slightly more sand and very slightly fewer rocks, in a slightly different configuration. Big frickin' deal. That's all that's going to happen in this case.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Bomb the fu**er

    What did it ever do for us anyway? nothing there but commies and terrorists.

    Hell, send in the marines too.

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Science!

    It works, bitches!

  16. Alan W. Rateliff, II
    Paris Hilton

    @RTNavy

    Happened in "Thundarr the Barbarian," too. Well, except that it was a runaway planet which caused the moon to split, and thus Man's civilization is cast in ruin, to give birth to a strange new world 2,000 years later, full of savagery, super-science, and sorcery.

    Paris, full of savagery and super-science. Not so much sorcery, though.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Paris Hilton

    It's....

    .....a rock!!!!!!!

  18. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

    @The Word According to the Shatner

    > he did a little too much LDS.

    Got too much involved with the Mormons? WTF?

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Here be Soup-Dragons

    3-2-1 and blast off........Whats wrong? It's er.. raining. Good fucking grief.

  20. Kelley Johnston
    Megaphone

    Neff

    It is a tremendously bad thing to shoot holes in the moon's face when what she really needs is tender loving care. I vote we take a billion tons of dolphin-safe cosmetic cream and send it up there to heal her badly bruised complexion.

    This may introduce a question as to how we send a giant space trowel to smooth it over all those craters, but (to quote Jack Welsh) strategy is simple; pick a direction and implement like hell.

    There is no question but that to the surreal at heart a peach pit is equally donkey.

  21. kosmos
    FAIL

    Won't someone think of.....

    Moon Base Alpha, we've had plenty of warning about the nuclear waste dump on the far side of the moon. If we start bombing it, it might result in an explosion forcing the moon out of orbit! (Despite the fact that the explosive forces required to de-orbit the moon would actually blow it apart)

    The poor inhabitants of the moon will encounter many new species and pick up various interstellar travellers who will invariably attempt to kill John Koenig for no discernible reason. That is all...

    Mine is the bright orange one with the yellow helmet......

  22. Winkypop Silver badge
    Boffin

    Old news I'm afraid

    The Apollo missions have already 'bombed' the moon.

    A number of the spent LEMs were ditched after returning to dock with the CM.

    These were often directed to deliberately impact the moon.

    This allowed seismic data to be collected.

    Additional: 3 golf balls have also impacted the moon...

  23. Joe Cooper
    Go

    Upper stage bombs

    "NASA will not just be sending an object to the moon with the resulting force of a collision."

    Yes they are.

    Its just a bog standard "upper stage".

    An upper stage is big dumb rocket that's responsible for "throwing" a probe beyond Low Earth Orbit.

    This one just has a special flightplan.

    Thousands of upper stages have flown during the space age. Most of them ran into something sooner or later.

    Another way to think of an upper stage is as a one-time-use "space tug".

    Upper stages have been flying for almost 50 years.

    You wouldn't use one as a weapon because once you order one, you also have to order a launch vehicle, and all that takes many many months to get it all together, and tens or even hundreds of millions of dollars per shot.

    Better to just use the Standard Missile 3 which can pop a sat from any AEGIS cruiser for a fraction of the price.

    The government absolutely has anti-sat weapons, but that doesn't mean you can point at any space thing that goes bang and cry foul. If anything, they were quite open about the last one, even going so far as to show it popping a sat on TV.

    You can also find pictures of an F-15 firing an anti-sat missile in the '80s. Look up ASM-135.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Joke

    greens under the bed ?

    Poor Lewis - and many of the posters above are getting a little too zealous in their pursuit of grrens. Seeing them everywhere ... even in clearly signposted jokes.

    Are you now, or have you ever been an environmentalist ?

  25. AndrueC Silver badge
    WTF?

    Well done

    Of all humanity's achievements I think 'sheer stupidity' has to be one of our greatest. There seems no end to the idiocy that the human mind can create.

  26. Jason Bloomberg Silver badge
    Stop

    Art, Philosophy or Madness ? Who's the real nutter ?

    Seems a few of the posters have understood what's being said, but most seem to have adopted a predictable, "Who gives a fuck? Bomb the fucker!", approach. Quite a reflection on human nature that.

    The underlying question is; who gave us the right to casually vandalise things and the right to act so unilaterally ? Are we not better than that ?

    "We choose to bomb the moon. We choose to bomb the moon in this decade and do other things, not because they are hard, but because it is so easy".

  27. Bill Fresher
    Thumb Up

    Moon Balloon

    The moon is a huge water balloon. If they pop it with a bomb it'll burst, the water will fall into Earth's atmosphere, heat up on entry and turn to steam, which will cook us all. Please stop NASA.

  28. HFoster
    Coat

    @greens under the bed

    Shouldn't that be "Greens Under the Machines"?

    Mine's the one with the Ken MacLeod novel sticking out of the pocket.

  29. NT 1

    Sorry to be all serious...

    ... but as one of your resident pagans, can I just take a moment to say that I'm not remotely bothered about someone firing a lump of metal into the Moon.

    In comparison to what nature's already thrown at it - and will continue to throw at it for millennia to come - the issue really isn't worth the energy being expended typing about it.

    The Moon is a religious or spiritual symbol for those who see it that way, be it as a representation of Diana, Selene, Luna, or just 'the Goddess', or whoever or whatever else you might associate with it. But it's also a lifeless ball of rock swinging in a stable(ish) orbit around the Earth. NASA, frankly, aren't obliged to operate according to anything I might believe or not believe about the Moon: their responsibility is to the USA and to space exploration, not to my hippy sentiment. It's possible that these protesters are for real, in which case, to be honest, they're an embarrassment.

    But are they for real? My guess is probably no. Aside the fairly telling name for their group as already highlighted by other commenty people, this all bears a little too much resemblance to the "werewolves protest plan to blow up the Moon" spoof article that appeared in the Weekly World News in March 2002. Sounds to me as though someone thought the LCROSS mission would be a good chance to squeeze a few more laughs out of an old joke.

  30. MyHeadIsSpinning
    Joke

    They're a bit early

    I was expecting some protest over the mining of the moon, due to the unpredictable effects that might have on our tides and therefore our climate and pretty much everything else on our planet.

    Instead, they are asking me to sing at the moon.

    Ok. Here goes.

    Awooooo...

  31. goggyturk
    Thumb Down

    @ kosmos

    "(Despite the fact that the explosive forces required to de-orbit the moon would actually blow it apart)"

    Dude, you just ruined my suspension of disbelief. I'll never be able to take that program seriously again now.

  32. The First Dave
    Grenade

    Bombing

    "We are all created from Moon dust."

    In that case a little more dust is surely a good thing - existing supplies must surely be running a little low?

    PS I didn't think that the moon _had_ any magnetic field, so what was that bit all about?

  33. Steve Swann
    Coat

    That's no moon....

    ...that's my coat. I'll go get it.

  34. Secretgeek
    Paris Hilton

    Art or loony tunes.

    Either way I think it's a bit rich of them to include themselves as members of the general public. Even the unwashed masses are that mental.

    You know what? On second thoughts, I completely take back this comment.

  35. Robbie 1
    Joke

    wait... what??

    @ amanfrommars - Dutch CyberIntelAIgents....

    I'll be watching you.. now care to give me my coat back??!!

  36. Ben Raynes
    Go

    URGENT APPEAL

    Dearest Surrealist, Lunatic, Werewolf, Pagan, Psychic, UFO Groupie (or other beloved weirdo).

    Please Join: Amnesty for Soup Dragons

    In these troubled celestial times, now more than ever, your help is needed in fighting the evil capitalist, space-colonisers. Everyday, "Amnesty for Soup Dragons" representatives are fighting, all over the cosmos, to protect our beloved Lunar Creatures and the delicate ecosystems within which they struggle to survive. We would ask only that you give what you can to help....

    We are in desperate need of your used:

    Auras

    Dreams (day dreams are fine but no erotic ones please)

    Old or tired imaginary friends

    Religious deities

    Magnetic bracelets, Rabbits feet, Horseshoes, etc

    If you have received a cerebral-carrier-bag, please fill it with whatever you can and leave it in your thoughts where one of our agents will be able to collect it.

    Otherwise, please send all you can to:

    Moonbase Alpha

    Just to the left and up a bit from:

    Sea Of Tranquility

    The MOON

    May pixie dust and moonbeams fill your days.

    Yours in faith,

    The Right Reverend L. Ron. Cupboard

  37. Ainteenbooty
    WTF?

    typical chicagoan scum

    As an American, I find anti-colonial views from other American's preposterous. It seems equivalent to resenting the sweaty act of procreation that lead to your existence, and insisting that it be banned. How appropriate that these are people from Chicago, a place that could use a good orbital bombardment.

  38. Captain Thyratron

    @AC 2009.10.07 17:16 GMT

    Minor point of correction, sir: DEFCON 5 is peacetime. I think you mean DEFCON 1.

  39. Captain DaFt
    Grenade

    Well, I'm inspired!

    Why should NASA have all the fun of blasting the moon and torquing off the nutters?

    I've just put in my order for this sweet baby!

    http://www.wetanz.com/holics/index.php?itemid=742&catid=4

  40. jake Silver badge

    @The Right Reverend L. Ron. Cupboard

    "Magnetic bracelets, Rabbits feet, Horseshoes, etc"

    I have several 55 gallon drums full of used horseshoes, and the Whippets can supply you any number of rabbit's feet. Where would you like me to send them? You pay shipping ... but you can have 'em for free. In fact, PLEASE take them off my hands! :-)

  41. Stoneshop Silver badge
    Flame

    @greenstar

    "The laws, constraints and physics that apply to Earth don't necessarily apply to the moon"

    Oh, really? Care to expand on that?

  42. greenstar

    greenstar to stoneshop

    Think of the planets in terms of forming a sentence. The Earth is a noun. The moon is a verb. Its very existance creates action in the tides, the weather, and possibly human mood. It's perfection of rotation sets into play all the components that make it possible for life here to exist and yet no life exists there. How is that possible? Wouldn't it seem logical for the earth to have a reciprocal effect on the moon - but it doesn't. The laws of symbiosis don't apply. If the moon is nothing more than a big rock then it can be cleaved like a big rock. Laws of mass and density don't apply nor do they offer us protection from the idiots at NASA who have never watched a diamond cutter. They are big boys with BIG toys and brains the size of a TRex AND are running the risk of making us all extinct.

  43. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    GO greenstar et al!!

    These rants are so soothing to the rational mind. It is always reassuring that however wrong I get things in my scientific endeavours or general understanding of the world around us, I will never get anything as willfully, mind-bogglingly, even cerebrum-wrenchingly wrong as these people achieve without any discernible effort .

    Greenstar: I salute you

    The surrealist petition is a gem, and the rants above indeed a beautiful example of Poe's law.

  44. hangeron
    Jobs Horns

    has anyone thought of the after effects?

    This impact will slow or speed up the moon's orbit.

    Our lunar mother may fly away or come crashing down upon us. What about the celestial debris that may crash into the earth.

    To late now but this is something we should have been concerned with!!

    MyHeadIsSpinning will have nothing to sing to, how can he control his lycanthropic visions?

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