Phorm boss blogs from a dark, dark place

@Andy ORourke

Should that not be:

Phuck oph Phorm?

I want in!

I used their contact 'phorm' (geddit!) to ask if I could be added to the list of "Main Characters". I've always been against them and I want in! the text is included below - feel free to borrow the text and drop them a line and see if they will add you to the list of pirates:

"Hi! I'm writing to ask if I could be included in your list of "Main Characters"? I've written lots of articles and blog entries against your deep packet invasive technology, and I read The Register every day! Please add me to your list and I promise I will keep writing articles against your spying. Thanks, Darren"

Flawed on so many levels

How exactly are they planning to target adverts based on our browsing habits anyway? Will I be served ads for Igglepiggle blankets while my three-year-old son gets Hanna Montana merchandise, my teen son gets IT-related spam and my thirteen-tear old daughter gets dodgy pr0n links? We share the same internet connection, and yet our tastes and interests differ about as widely as any bunch of people you might pick at random.

So it's pointless, right? As targeted as a splattergun, surely?

Here's another thing: I called my ISP yesterday to ask for reassurance that I could be opted out of Phorm and nobody I could be put through to had even heard of the organisation. I had to explain to their customer service people all about the background and why I was concerned. To their credit, they ALL expressed the opinion that it sounded like a really bad idea, but nobody could reassure me. I feel a letter coming on...

Privacy Pirate T-shirt FTW. I'd buy that for a dollar.

"Privacy pirates" (TM)

If Phorm goes out of business I'm sure he could get one of those well-paid jobs at one of the Hopme Office agencies. He has the right attitude to criticism - though a lucid turn of phrase might be a disqualification given they all talk in Birtspeak.

- Avast ye!

Privacy Pirate

Smear Campaign?

Why is it that Krud seems like the smear on the bottom of your shoe?

Even Paris knows to scrape stuff like him off her shoes..

Privacy Pirate

I wonder when Kent will figure out just how Oxymoronic that epithet is? Probably never because it's a clever "sound byte" for the media which doesn't have to actually mean anything as long as it sounds snappy

of course no-one will query or question -> people love their snappy-sounding nonsense and phorm will of course get away with it because anyone who objects is a Privacy Pirate, and nobody wants to be one of those now do they???

Yarrrrgh!

Privacy Pirates

Where's Roger Daltrey when we need him most? <snigger>

@ The virgin fan toby robertson

"oh, Dave BT? I don't want to come across as a Virgin fan (in fact I think they're just as bad as the rest) but their only saving grace is that they won't use phorm"

Should read The Reg a bit more often. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/04/22/virgin_media_phorm_nma/

Virgin are not only in bed with Phorm but they are currently spooning and it wont be long before the cherrys popped

LMFAO

HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHHA etc etc etc

The stop phoul play site should be nominated for best comedy site 2009.

@toby robertson

Er...Virgin? Are you sure about that? I seem to recall that almost from day one there have been three major ISPs in talks with Phorm: BT, Talk Talk (Carphone Warehouse) and...wait for it...Virgin Media. So far, only BT seems to have gone as far down the line as actually carrying out trials (illegal or otherwise) and the others have gone pretty quiet on the subject, but I haven't heard any confirmation that they have dropped the idea either.

'Privacy Pirate' is a rather strong term

Bordering on the libellous perhaps? (or perhaps slander, as blogs are more akin to verbal diarrhoea than to the printed word).

I always understood the word 'pirate' to refer to someone who robs and kills on the high seas. Then there is the received meaning that derives from 'pirate' radio (where boats broadcasting music without paying royalties would be positioned in international waters). This would appear to be where the music industry gets its erroneous term of 'piracy' which is basically just copyright infringement (not even theft IMHO as it doesn't deprive anyone of their possessions).

There would appear to be a rather large leap from those committing a criminal offence under international law, via those committing the much less severe civil offence of home taping, to innocent individuals voicing their concern about the use of their personal data for insidious marketing purposes. It could even be argued that it is Phorm themselves who are positioning themselves closer to the murdering ocean-going scumbags in this scale of criminality.

SO:

My question is this - (and IANAL) - How would those people named in this 'blog' from the fine and upstanding Mr Ertugrul, who have been referred to as 'Privacy Pirates' fare in a libel case brought against this paragon of business ethics?

I did not realise he looks like a young Steve Jobs

And from comments I have read of the Apple management style in the early 80s, that is not a good thing.

I pictured a shiny suite and a more jelled hairstyle. With some chunky gold neck chains.

Technically he's not paranoid. He's delusional. A lot of people are out to get him. Anyone who cares about privacy and understands what a massive invasion of privacy (for private profit) this is for starters. His delusion is thinking if we just understood his company a bit better we'd learn to love it. I think a large chunk of the Reg readership understand Phorm quite well. Being apparently hand-in-blouse with the Home Secretary does not exactly increase my fondness for the man or his company.

Sadly, Ken't suceeded.

We're all talking about Him and Phorm. Who said there's no such thing as bad publicity?

That we are fighting for our freedom from illicit and illegal scrutiny makes us Internet terrorists and Pirates. Surely he's right?

"Alice. put that Rabbit down at once and go and get me some more tarts!" said Kent.

Conspiracy?

Surprise! The Register - a place where IT professionals (the people most able to fully comprehend the systems behind Phorm's DPI) commonly visit and post is against this technology.

Duh - that may be because they understand the technology and can see through Phorm's PR/spin to see the privacy violations and scope for mission-creep - or even outright mis-use - inherent within.

There is no conspiracy; any sane person who understands what they propose is against it.

/coat - maybe it's time for Kent to get his.

no phorm

I to am with TitanADSL and they are the best with no port bloacking or anything on their network.

I dont understand why users who dont want phorm want to stay with their ISP just leave.

I've already banged in an FoI request

"The website managers at 10 Downing Street recognised their mistake in allowing a misleading petition to appear on their site, and have since provided assurances to Phorm that they will not permit this to happen again."

Can The Register get onto 10 DS and ask them if this really is the case? Or is this just more lies and spin from a company who are really doing a SCO when it comes to publicity.

I didn't couch it in ah-har, Jim lad, I be a privacy pirate, ha ha. But I was tempted.

Suggested T&C's

Why dont Phorm / BT advertise it, using a true description of what it does? It doesnt have to be a long winded technical description and let people opt-IN (with only opt-IN traffic going via the profilers)?

Sample :

If you would like us to offer you targeted advertising through our partner websites by us recording every single website you ever visit please opt in to the system by clicking here

There, that should do it, simple and to the point. Who wouldnt sign up if it was put like that?

Just impulse bought www.stopphoulplay.info

any ideas of where I should point it?

Seriously,

Are they trying to convince me with this site that I want their product?

Well they just phucking convinced me.

Dont they realise that the public just dont want this under any circumstances?

blah blah blah 'it will improve your experience'... yeah right. Buck chasing shysters, phuck oph our network.

@Pete 16:14

Kents ringpiece? (:

How to opt out your websites

@Steve Coburn

"How do you go about opting out websites you run."

http://www2.bt.com/static/i/btretail/webwise/help.html#how-do-i-prevent-webwise-from-scanning-my-site

Downing Street petition

@Ian

Here's the Downing Street petition, which received 21,403 signatures:

http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/ispphorm/

Best wishes

another Privacy Pirate!

www.stopphoulplay.info

@Pete

You could point it here...

http://www.antiphorm.co.uk/

Holy cow

This guy's blob is scary - I thought Phorm was frightening before, but one look at his front page and I'm really scared now! All the evidence against Phorm is right there in one handy place.

Remind me again, was he supposed to be convincing us of how good Phorm is or how dangerous?

Lets show him how annoying adverts are

Anyone got his address,

I suggest we all keep a large envelope near our letter box, Simply place all the crap the post office delivers us and when full post, repeat until they can't gain access to their office.

@ Blacklight

Of course we really have no idea what phorm gets up to with your data, they say they incorporate all kinds of safeguards, but if you check out their patent it boasts about how they can analyse and invisibly alter or replace any or all of your data. Their former CTO boasted that they could 'see all of the Internet'. Remember all the content of every page you browse is available to them. But you do trust old don't-call-it-spyware Mr Ertegrul, don't you? BT and the Home Office seem to.

I Love Kent's Webwise

If he was to post on his website, Phorm was Evil, everybody would probably start using it because they would have to believe the opposite.

Everything I hear or see what this Guy does or says makes me think the opposite must be is true.

It is not a massive PR team that man needs it's a gag. I love him. He is the best thing for privacy campaigners since we found out one of his last companies was 121Media. Look them up, they are well known to many anti spyware companies.

Paris because she knows when to keep her mouth shut.

Sun exclusive

These are pictures of the mysterious man neighbours say has been a regular visitor to Jacqui Smith's London home.

The man, described as being in his late 30s has a well developed tan and speaks with an American accent. Neighbours say they thought they heard the Home Secretary call him "Trent, or something like that."

Mrs Smith was unavailable for comment as we went to press.

Mine will be the one with a CD of the GIMP in the pocket.

Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, remember?

@ Secretgeek

Secretgeek: "I've just had a scooby at the website ... and it looks like something I'd expect to read from the Co$."

Ertugrul is also using the scientological method of "double-curving" attacks by accusing your attackers of the very thing they are attacking you for. Who's the real privacy pirate around here? Phorm, of course (along with assorted jacquismith types). So following good ol' LRH's book'o'nonsense they throw that very accusation back at their critics.

It wouldn't surprise me in the least to discover that Ertugrul is a scientologist. Perhaps some mole in the movement can investigate and report back?

Body thetans at the ready, everyone! Prepare to fend off Xenu attacks!

Friends, what friends?

Phorm are about to find out how transient 'friendship' with the Home Office is.

Civil servants will be scurrying to cover their own arses and Phorm can go phuck themsleves as phar as they're concerned.

On a personal note, I have never been so happy to see a company implode. The personality of the man at the top has enabled Phorm to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory... splendid!

Yarr!

Privacy Pirates

Phorm: Together with the government we have commercially and de-facto legally appropriated your privacy. To try to take it from us is piracy.

Your probably a terrorist and pedophile too, so its only right that we check on you.

At the risk of "aiding and abetting terrorists," if you want to send jihadi email messages undetected, just keep it short, in html, with a linked graphic, no sender name and a subject line of "Is your embarrassingly tiny package holding you back from all night watches with HSBC account suspension?" and no-one will take any notice of the contents.

Or you could just use the el reg comment form and with the "where's the IT angle?" icon.

Open letter to Kent:

Dear Kent Ertugrul,

Thanks for your very informative Stop Phoul Play campaign (www.stopphoulplay.com) whilst I don't agree with your opinions and I have no intention to use your technology, I think I should make my opinions on your campaign, your technology and your company.

My opinions are:

- I don't want my internet activity or my families internet activity profiled for advertising, etc - personally I believe ISPs should be forced to reveal if they use this technology or not (in the same way that cigarettes packets contain health warnings).

- I don't want to pay to use your technology - this should be optional with signed consent (not assumed consent) if wanted.

-You seem to have missed out a few people from your "This is who they are" section whom are also against form- i.e. Tim Berners Lee, some ISPs, some privacy advocates and the EU.

- Please stop trying to argue that your right and we are wrong - a lot of people whom read The Register work in the computing sector and we don't want your technology (is this really unclear?).

- The BT secret trails were illegal - if you think, this is wrong why not sue the EU for damages (I'm sure the UK government don't take this stand any more but maybe you should ask for their support/opinion??).

- I don't want DPI technology looking at my traffic - I have nothing to hide but I don't want an unknown stalker especially by a company which previously was involved with spyware - I pay for my connection and whilst I don't like the idea of the government doing this either I feel they have a better argument for it that yourselves (I don't want them doing it either).

Thanks

Mike Gravgaard

PS Please stop.

Tux cause like him, I want to be free!!

@Pete - www.stopphoulplay.info

http://www.DoNotTrustWebwise.org

Oh, it's amazing...

... do they ever give up? Will they keep crying and moaning even after they're bankrupt?!

Why can't anyone ever admit that maybe they had a bad idea?

It's so simple, you CANNOT increase privacy by doing ADDITIONAL reading and processing of data at intermediate points on the route. END OF STORY!

blackbeard

The "privacy pirate" they used comes from a blogger called blackbeard. He pointed out that if your viewing your medical records online phorm and BT would be in the dark brown stuff very quickly if they used automated processing. Phorm did not reply in anyway to that, after all how could they, so i guess thats where "privacy pirate" came from. It certainly must have got there full attention as its the only part of the data protection act which really interferes with there aims and objectives.

Paris, bet she would like a jolly roger from blackbeard.