back to article Holy f**k, Microsoft covers up ‘undesired’ words

Microsoft has gained patent rights to a technology for censoring speech. An automatic censoring filter, available in real-time mode or a batch mode, processes an input audio data stream containing speech and then alters “undesired words or phrases” to make them “unintelligible or inaudible”. The software giant was awarded …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @Alan Esworthy

    Aw shucks, I'm embarrassed but I have a rather thick skin so the insult was somewhat wasted. Nice try but you only get a could do better.

  2. J-Wick

    @Robert Ramsay

    I think they did the "Dick van Dyke" joke on Family Guy.. 'And now, back to the <beep> van <beep> show...."

    May have been on another show - South Park or American Dad...

  3. Cyfaill
    Joke

    Silly rabbit, this is for Steveo

    I think that this was going to be a little box to have Steveo wear.

    Unfortunately the prototype was crushed under a chair because he was having some minor difficulty expressing his true feelings and got frustrated.

  4. Moz
    Joke

    Living in the [bleep]tree

    Reminds me of a story from the Aussie parliament. One of the MPs from the bush was making a speech...

    MP: I am a country member...

    Opposition: Yeah. We remember...

  5. Chris Seiter
    Coat

    @ interesting

    Snake? Snake?!? Snaaaaaaaaake!!

    Mine's the one with the "Pliskin" dog tags.

  6. yeah, right.

    bofh was there

    I wonder if they'll have the "Drunken Scotsman" version out soon then?

  7. Martin Penny
    Coat

    Verbal Morality?

    "You are fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute."

    Hmm...

  8. Wortel
    Go

    Ha ha! dangly parts

    Who here was reminded of the revenge scene on Bruce Allmighty?

  9. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
    Gates Horns

    Yay! Popular culture!

    1) The LaLiLuLeLo can be found somewhere in here: http://fromearth.net/LetsPlay/MGS2/

    2) "Philip K Masculine Area" They should have used Phil's own pseudonym, "Horselover Fat"

    3) This hot, new,innovative Microsoft brainfart will certainly be endorsed by all of those who must not pronounce the name JEHOVA. Any other useful application? I don't think so.

  10. Charles Manning

    Patent is easy, engineering is not

    Anyone remember how crap the MS voice recognition really is?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y_Jp6PxsSQ

    With that solid foundation I can't see much utility.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Har!

    Philip K. Masculine Area is pretty funny... but isn't quite as good as the Matsupoopa DVD ROM people talk about in some heavily censored forums...

    What's even funnier than THAT is when pet forums force owners of small dogs to discuss their poopzus. Oops.

  12. sauerkraut
    Thumb Up

    wishlist for x-mas

    beep out "microsoft", "windows" and "office" (if "microsoft" comes in front of it), "vista" (following "windows"), "gates", "ballmer".......... the list would be long!

    add some voice regoc and beep out every single word said by gates and ballmer (except "developer")

  13. Cortland Richmond

    Really unspeakable

    From unspeakable to inaudible in two clock cycles. Next, the brainwave sensing inthinkerator.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    Ted Dziuba

    El Reg have got one of these devices already.

    The trouble is the techies installed it on a Friday afternoon after a tough lunchtime in the pub and put it in the wrong way round, with the result that it's randomly *adding* loads of big-and-clever words to everything fed through it.

    Which at least explains where Ted Dziuba's 'Fail and **** You' articles come from.

  15. Jeff Rowse Bronze badge

    What the [EXPLETIVE DELETED] next?

    Anyone else remembering the scenes with Pinback's diaries aboard (John Carpenter's) DarkStar?

    Oh well, guess I'll just have to re-watch my Firefly DVDs and pick up some authentic(?) Mandarin(?) vocabulary... ain't that a shame!

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