Between you and /.
I am going to stay away all day bah! April fools day is for fools.
CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics
A human rights lawsuit filed on behalf of prominent US government agencies - including the Central Intelligence Agency and the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base - has been filed in a European Court. The lawsuit, which plaintiffs also sent to Foreign Minister David Miliband - asks that British websites cease engaging in "cruel, unusual …
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 09:11 GMT Elmer Phud
left out the really cruel bits
It was deemed too explicit for publication but in short the 'interviewees' have been subjected to sonic torture. The use of Pete Andre and Katie Price's 'singing' had already been specifically banned under the Geneva Convention but it was thought that unlike the usual three or four hours of intense white noise, ten minutes would be sufficient to break even the hardest Eurovision fan.
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 10:00 GMT Ishkandar
@Aubry Thonon
No !! That title has been passed to Big Brother UK edition !!
Furthermore, it is said that Alan Sugar will be standing for election as the Prime Minister so that he can justifiably say "You're fired" to any minister he dislikes !! Bruce Forsyth will be elected as the Speaker to welcome the same old faces back to Parliament !! Also, for the first time ever, a Frenchman will be appointed as the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Jerome Kerveil will bring with him the means and experience to fill the National Coffers very nicely, thank you !! Nick Leeson was offered the job first but he declined graciously on the grounds that he is still actively sought by various Singaporean gentlemen who would like to invite him to be the guest of honour at their banquet. It seems that they love him - boiled, roasted or stir-fried !!
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 10:04 GMT ImaGnuber
Need more caffeine
@Richard
"They're even giving this technique a name: Billboarding"
Thought that was good.
As for the 'article' - Started reading with my first cup of coffee - fell in to the usual Reg rhythm and then the caffeine hit... Hope Anne L Proeb will become a regular contributor... usually writes for UFO sites, does she?
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 16:46 GMT b shubin
Flash waterboarding
the Spanish Inquisition, the Khmer Rouge, and the WW2 SS were notorious for using Flash to torture their prisoners, and the use of Macromedia animation products for any purpose, other than "lowbrow entertainment and twitch games", is explicitly proscribed by Article 69, paragraph (f), subparagraph (9) of the Geneva Convention (original text).
more recently, the CIA subjected terrorism suspects to Flash-based questionnaires, but the practice was stopped when the agency realized that it scared the prisoners so badly, nothing they subsequently said was credible (or indeed, intelligible, as the subjects permanently switched to a clicky, obscure dialect of ancient Urdu, that no one has been able to translate).
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Tuesday 1st April 2008 21:44 GMT James O'Brien
Hold on just a second
I for one am against all these so called "surveys" from sites like El Reg :)
I mean "this will only take 20 minutes of your time" LIES ALL LIES!!!!
20 minutes turns into 30 then 40 I mean common Reg I have a life too I need to have my time for beer not taken away from me :)
Plus how much do I make oh common you expect me not to lie? A better question and more relevant question would be "How much do you spend at the pub on in a normal pay period?" Thats the type of questions we as IT professionals want to see.
So until we start seeing those questions which as relevant I dont know how much longer I can deal with these "only 20 minutes of your time" surveys for only so much longer ;-)
/mines the one with the survey in the pocket :)
Nice April joke BTW
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Biting the hand that feeds IT
