back to article Lightsaber voted top movie weapon

A Jedi knight's lightsaber has been voted the top movie weapon, pipping Dirty Harry's Magnum .44 to the post in a 20th Century Fox poll of 2,000 film buffs. The Star Wars illuminated sword heads a mixed bag of offensive items, including the Hattori Hanzo katana from Kill Bill, Oddjob's unfriendly bowler hat* and Indy's …

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  1. Christopher Osborne
    Happy

    B5

    What about the Mimbari Staff, the white star or the shadow death cloud

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Alert

    @Paul F

    Dude, I think Webby's oh-so-subtle confusion/conflation between Stars T and W may have been the tiny clue you're meant to look out for in internet postings to let you know that you're about to have been trolled if you reply in serious vein...

  3. TheHempKnight

    3 I would put there...

    Uber-Phaser-Rifles from Star Trek: First Contact

    Noisy Cricket from Men In Black

    various weapons from the Blade trilogy.

  4. Rodrigo Andrade

    Ammo

    Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?

    Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter, full metal jacket.

    'nuff said.

  5. Shabble

    Chainsaw heaven

    Some others that deserve a mention:

    The arm-mounted chainsaw used by Ash in Evil Dead 2.

    The suicidal bomb from Dark Star.

    Blain's chain gun in Predator.

    The One Ring (though it never gets used).

    The Genesis project.

    Freddy's finger blades.

    Bond's Walther PPK.

    The Weirding Module voice amplifying weapons from Dune.

    Dire Straits vinyl LP.

    Sharpened edge boomerang from Mad Max 2.

  6. Starace
    Happy

    Re:Wot, no phased-plasma rifle in the forty watt range?

    'Hey, just what you see, pal.'

    .

    Personally I'd go for Ol' Painless. Who cares that the recoil would push you over, or you couldn't carry the batteries or enough ammo. In the world of film such things aren't a problem!

    Or failing that I'd go for the M56 Smartgun. Or the M41-A at a stretch.

    If you'd chosen any of the top 10 options short of the Deathstar you'd soon be learning that the ability to deliver large amounts of hot lead in a short time provides certain advantages!

  7. Webster Phreaky
    Thumb Down

    "Simon Goodwin" reporting in from Twilight Zone

    "Disproved By Simon Goodwin"

    "in a recent show "The Science (not)of StarWars" they essentially disproved nearly ever single future technology that science dope George Lucas "proposed" in every foolish scene of all the StarWars "episurd" (pun) - ESPECIALLY the light-saber. (also author, learn how to spell light-saber)"

    "In what way disproved?"

    - for the too stupid to understand, PHYSICS are PROVEN hypothesis (maybe you don't know that word) and the Discovery show used REAL SCIENCE to disprove everything essentially in StarWars. Does this compute?

    "Disproved in that some know all scientist says it cant be done right now? duh!"

    "Its meant to be a future technology, unless of course we are going to say, everything that there is to be discovered, already has been discovered?"

    - Simon Goodwin reporting in from Twilight Zone, OK now you're proved it, you are stupid. BASIC Physics principles like behavior of light, energy, gravity, matter, physical constraints, properties of materials, etc DON'T CHANGE! Not even for "future technology" that break the laws of Physics! Hesus Christ, go back to school and start over are 4th grade! Living in a Fantasy Land is no way to live sonny.

  8. David Evans

    tsk

    The British Army rifle in Zulu; if only for the best war quote ever: "If it's a miracle, Colour Sergeant, it's a short chamber Boxer Henry point 45 caliber miracle." 'nuff said.

  9. Morely Dotes

    Extemely minor correction

    Item number 2 should be .44 Magnum, the "point" goes to the left of the calibre to indicate how much of an inch your bore is.

    And I agree, Noisy Cricket is definitely ultimate sidearm. Small enough to fit in your jock strap (or Anelinia Jolie's brassiere), powerful enough to bring down a flying saucer.

  10. Mycho Silver badge

    @B5

    It's called a Minbari Fighting Pike and is indeed awesome. A six foot metal pipe which retracts to something the size of a tin of beans when not in use. Quarterstaff fans pine.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Black Helicopters

    No, the best ever movie weapon

    is the explosive-laden tube train that took out the Houses of Parliament in V for Vendetta. No other movie weapon has ever got me to stand on my chair and cheer my head off the way that one did!

  12. Colin
    Flame

    @Webster Phreaky

    FFS, get a life. You're complaining about the scientific accuracy of a weapon in a movie where people shoot lightning from their fingers?

    Lightsabers are cool. Of course, they're not bloody real, that's part of what makes them cool.

  13. Adrian Esdaile
    Coat

    For shame!

    NOT ONE mention of the mighty Supermarine Spitfire! And on a .uk website too! For shame!

    Though thinking of 'Empire of the Sun' the "Cadillac of the Skies" Northrop P51-D also does it for me.

    The leather flying helmet and goggles please!

  14. slave138
    Unhappy

    No railguns with x-ray vision?!

    I'm kind of partial to the railgun from Eraser with the X-Ray Spex scope...

  15. Andrew

    My vote..

    .. would be for the "Ghost in the Shell" semi-auto recoilless rocket launcher, from Batou's "personal" collection :)

  16. Steve Hogan

    ChookChoker

    The greatest weapon isn't Chuck Norris. Its Vin Diesel

  17. Brian

    M41

    M41-A, or the sentry guns. Mmmmmmm, now that was an awesome moment in cinema for me! I may dig that out and watch it again while writing this essay...

  18. Eugene Goodrich

    Holowhip

    "Lister to Red Dwarf; the intruder seems _blissfully_ unaware that we

    have a rather sturdy holo-whip in the munitions cabinet, ... "

    A weapon so twisted, it can hurt someone who is already dead.

  19. Geoff Johnson

    @slave138

    I'd forgotten that one. That was a really cool weapon and it left a nice swirly trail.

  20. Anonymous Coward
    Happy

    What a weapon.

    I wouldn't mind being strapped to Angelina Jolies thighs,

  21. JimC Silver badge

    @phreaky

    > BASIC Physics principles like behavior of light, energy, gravity, matter,

    > physical constraints, properties of materials, etc DON'T CHANGE!

    I'm sure I've seen some theoreticising lately which suggests that possibly these things do change, though not on a scale that has any especially relevance to anything much shorter than the life on the universe...

  22. Jim Lewis

    not a mention of...

    the Australian from 'Delicattesen', although you do have to know how to use it, (as the guy at the end doesn't!).

  23. Johnny G

    A couple of others

    The Toledo Salamanca Sword - Highlander

    The snake-arrow used by Tulsa Doom in Conan the Barbarian to kill Valeria

    The giant ceramic cock&balls that Alex uses to kill the woman in A Clockwork Orange

    A few of my favourite films...

  24. Johnny G

    @ ChookChoker

    "The greatest weapon isn't Chuck Norris. Its Vin Diesel"

    Give me a break! You're joking right??

  25. steve
    Linux

    @Webster Phreaky

    Two things:

    1) You really need to get out more. Especially as you obviously don't know much about physics. In theory, a lightsabre (don't argue spelling with me, i'm English) could be made simply by having a focused laser. You could, again in theory, have the light focused over a short distance to have a cutting effect . The light would be visible past this point, but it wouldn't cut anything. That means that a lightsabre wouldn't actually be able to cut anyting along it's entire length, and would therefore take great skill and a good memory to remember how far along the blade would actually make an impact. There have been many ideas put forwards for how we could in theory make one in years to come. Go seek knowledge, my child.

    2) Proven Hypothesis: Oh, dear boy. You either need to learn what "proven" means or what "hypothesis" means. Or what "physics" means. You do realise that most of the things we take for granted (gravity, light, energy) that have been proven by physics, are actually incorrect? Or that they are only correct under certain conditions? Physics is not a completely acurate science for the most part. We know enough to know that we don't know enough. That's about it. I'm sure that i'll be flamed for saying that, but it is true. It was proven that the world was flat. Oh, wait, that's not true anymore. It was proven that the earth was the centre of the universe. No, wait, that one has gone as well. I'm sure i've been condesending enough for now.

    So anyway where the hell is the pulse rifle (aliens), uzi 9mm (terminator), milligun (predator), BFG (Doom), Gauss rifle with x-ray sight (Eraser), or even Chuck Norris! At least the lightsabre made the grade, and hurrah for the sword from kill bill. I happen to own a copy of the Demon Sword from that film, signed by none other than David Caridine. Yes, i truly am a sad little man. :)

    A penguin icon, cuz he's cute and fluffy. No real relation to the post, but what the hey.

  26. Torben Mogensen

    A few more comments

    I agree that the M41-A from Aliens deserves mention, but only with the flame thrower duct-taped to it.

    I also think the proton gun from Ghostbusters ("don't cross the beams!") should have been on the list.

    But the lightsabre is indeed cool. So what if it is scientifically impossible? Star Wars is not Science Fiction, it is Space Opera, and so not required to make scientific sense. That would be like berating Tom & Jerry because hitting a mouse with a frying pan shouldn't make a mouse-shaped dent in the frying pan.

  27. Magilla
    IT Angle

    A title is required.

    Chuck Norris

    Eraser - Railgun with xray scope

    MiB - Noisy Cricket

    Beverley Hills Cop 3 - gun with radio, microwave etc

    Croc Dundee - The Knife

    Johnny Mnemonic - hot wire

    and I love the smell of Napalm in the morning...

  28. Feargal Reilly
    Pirate

    So long as you tell people about it...

    The Doomsday Machine from "Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb".

  29. Simon
    Alien

    As others have said...

    Where T.F. are the M41a, ZF1 (look out for the little red button, Akhnot...), The recoilless relativistic railgun from Eraser, Dredd's lawgiver...

    But what about the Point of View gun from Hitchhiker's?

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Uzi 9mm...

    ...that's one weapon that I would definitely not include in the list. Have used the thing (in training), but wouldn't want to have to use it in anger. Much too complicated to get going (multiple safety mechanisms), but tends to go off on it's own account. Quite uncool when that happens.

    And, btw, @ Webster: "PHYSICS are PROVEN hypothesis (maybe you don't know that word)". Actually, the plural of hypothesis is hypotheses. But maybe you don't know the plural form. Dictionaries help in these cases. Try www.webster.com.

  31. Cameron Colley

    Glad someone mentioned Full Metal Jacket.

    Zatoichi's sword-cane does have a certain elegance too.

    The name then reminds me of my favourite fictional killer, Ichi, and his boot-heel blades used to split people open from head to toe.

    Then there's the swords used by the Kray brothers to pin the guy to the pool table.

    As for improvised weapons, I think the pen used by joe Pesci in Casino takes some beating.

  32. Alex Cooksey

    Go on then

    Other nominations include:

    The various guitar cases from El Mariachi, Desperado and Once upon a time in Mexico

    Sex Machine's codpiece in from Dusk Till Dawn

    Some awesome other ones up there too.

    From fiction I'd have to go with Iain M Bank's Lazy Gun

  33. Nick
    Alert

    ED-209?

    Just kidding, although if the protoype from Robocop had been given a bit more screen time I'm sure it could have done some serious damage, instead of the impromptu 'executive board reshuffle' at the end.

    Great to see the lightsabre taking top-spot!

    I agree about the M41A, if only for the sound that sucker makes!

    Someone mentioned him earlier, but I think he deserves another shout: Ash, by the end of Evil Dead 2, is a weapon.

    Also, I'm very disappointed about the lack of any General Electric M134 7.62mm miniguns (I'm also a Robert Rankin fan). They are definitely more awesome than an M16 with an underslung M203 grenade launcher, even if one of them is being used liberally by Al Pacino.

    Finally, all you Newton-afficionadoes need to remind yourself of the big fat disclaimer at the beginning of every Star Wars movie. It's: "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." NOT: "In a few year's time, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology..." you plonkers.

  34. Andy Enderby

    Outside of movies.....

    Anyone familiar with Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson ?

    What if they aren't friendly ?

    "oh, they'll see reason"..... Reason v1.1 beta gatling railgun......

  35. TeeCee Gold badge

    @Alex

    I second the Lazy Gun. Now, can someone please film "Against a Dark Background" (a title so mind-numbingly clever it deserves an award on its own) so we can settle the argument once and for all.

    If you *really* want to ruin some Civilisation's day though, the Dweller technique of accelerating a load of space debris, concentrically arranged by size from dust to planet, to around 0.99 C pointing the lot in the right direction and then waiting a few millenia takes a lot of beating.

  36. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's not a movie weapon (yet) but

    The ultimate weapon from "Hitch hikers"

    Designed by Hactar

    For: The people of Krikkit (originally the Sliastic Armourfiends but with a flaw)

    Size: Cricket ball

    Function: a supernova bomb which would connect every major sun in the universe through hyperspace, thus making every star to go supernova.

    Why destroy a planet when you can take everything down.

  37. Philip Alexander
    Coat

    @AC 3 in the afternoon?

    Ah! You Tube How do I love thee? Let me count the ways......... 6 in the morning, Rvd and RvD2.

    For the those of you who are wondering what the Hell I'm talking about, these are movies made by amateurs? that are well worth the time taken to watch.

    Yes that's my coat just next to Darth Vaders cape

  38. Alex Cooksey
    Happy

    @ TeeCee

    quite right - though its hardly relevant I should point out that Play.com have just delivered Matter to me 2 weeks early...

  39. Adam Cherrett
    Coat

    Re: spelling

    To those of you who may not think that spelling matters, I can assure you it does. I remember once playing a text-only MUD for a brief time. Imagine my excitement when, after a couple of hours, I opened a box to find my very own light sabre. I immediately high-tailed it over to an arena, and challenged everyone to a fight. I must have lost a dozen times until some kind fellow pointed out to me that what I had in my hand was just a sabre that wasn't heavy.

  40. Lloyd
    Thumb Up

    Ahhhh

    We've missed one, Monkey's staff, it shrinks and expands and is particularly handy for smacking people round the head with.

  41. Philip Alexander
    Happy

    Light-sabres are cool because........

    I bought an FX one for my daughter in law, she'd bought one for her hubby's birthday- lots of squealing followed by the pair of them rushing into the garden to duel, the grandkids watching their parents behaving.....well, like kids!!

  42. David Evans

    @Andy Enderby

    Well if we're going outside of movies there are waaaay cooler weapons in literature than in film: Xeelee Starbreaker beams (Stephen Baxter), Starship Troopers Power Armour, Nuclear-powered X-Ray lasers (Footfall), the list goes on. And in Snowcrash, Reason may be cool in a showy kind of way, but Fido is a much more interesting "weapon".

  43. Svein Skogen

    What?!?

    NOONE yet mentioned the "Minbari Fighting Stick" (Babylon 5) standard equipment?

    //Svein

  44. Feargal Reilly

    @David Evans

    Well if we *are* going outside of movies, there's one clear winner: The Nuclear Hand-Grenade from the Paranoia RPG.

  45. Anonymous Coward
    Coat

    BFG?

    I thought the Big Friendly Giant was cute not deadly. Am I reading Roald Dahl wrong?

    Could someone pass me the collarless shirt and the brown waistcoat? Ah you're so kind.

  46. Andy Enderby
    Thumb Up

    @David Evans....

    Oh yes Fido, better known as the rat-thing.... A nuclear powered armoured rottweiler cyborg with hard wired sub sonic speed limitation in urban areas...... just the job for keeping unauthorised types out of the server room or creating mayhem in the pub. The Kouriers skateboards hard their attractions too.

  47. Ismael
    Coat

    The best

    Django's coffin gatling gun.

  48. AJ Igel
    Thumb Up

    Strangelove

    Agree on the doomsday device, although we can possibly just say the bomb that Slim rides at the end could work as well.

    Also:

    GhostBusters - those backpacks. Bad ass

    Army of Darkness - Some good Evil Dead points, but I'm going for Ash's shotgun ("This is my Boom-stick!")

    Orgasmo - the Orgasmatron, or whatever its called. Funny movie, classic weapon.

  49. Mike Powers

    Golden Gun but no PPK?

    Ridiculous. As others have pointed out, the Walther PPK is much more significant than the Golden Gun, which A: was only in one movie, B: and a bad movie at that, and C: it wasn't even IN THE MOVIE all that much!

  50. Paul Swindlehurst

    Nukes?

    Nobody's mentioned the rifle/mortar fired nuclear warheads from Starship Troopers yet?

    Not sure even a lightsabre would do you much good against one of those!

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